No Pressure
by BLVD4476
Summary: Mellie is now the junior senator for Virginia and enjoying a life without Fitz. She soon meets a nice man named Jake who sparks her interest. Will they tell each other the truth about their lives? Will they fall in love or be just friends? Or will they think they aren't meant to be?
1. Remember Me

**A/N:** I just thought Jake and Mellie would be something different for a change. There are differences from the show, but it's set after she and Fitz get a divorce. I hope you enjoy and please feel free to leave reviews, comments, and suggestions!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

"An escort?"

"Yes ma'am, his name is Captain Jacob Ballard. He's a former Naval aviator. He's the head recruiter at the office on this side of town," Chelsea, her assistant, explained.

"Do you know anything else about him?"

"He's 45, he's from Richmond, moved to D.C. last year. He was a pilot for 15 years. Had an honorable discharge after an injury five years ago, then became a recruiter."

"Interesting," Mellie said as she got up from her vanity chair as her stylists got her ready for a charity dinner that night. She put on her diamond earrings and sat back down to let them finish her makeup. She picked up her smartphone and looked up this guy, wondering what he looks like, if he would make a good escort.

She pulled up a picture and studied him for a second, immediately noticing his intense hazel eyes. It was like they sucked her in, and she wanted to know more about her date for the night.

"Ma'am?"

Mellie snapped out of it, setting her phone down as her makeup artist put her brushes down.

"Do you need me to do anything else?"

"No, thank you, Kate. You've done a wonderful job," She smiled, thanking her as she began to pick up her different makeups. Mellie got up again and put on her silver heels to match her fierce red gown, then grabbed her phone and clutch.

"Are you ready to go?" Chelsea asked with a smile.

"Yes," Mellie said, excited to go. They left her master bathroom and started downstairs to the living room.

"Mr. Ballard will be here in just a few minutes. He asked if he could ride with you so you two could get to know each other a little better before you get there."

"Oh, that's fine," Mellie said, hesitant, but also not wanting to tell him no. They waited in the living room, her usual two security escorts already waiting on them. They were all dressed in their tuxedos for the night, with their radios, guns, and badges already on.

"Will, Francis, you look extremely handsome this evening," she said, giving them hugs.

"You look gorgeous, Ms. Richardson," Will said.

"Will, please. Mellie is fine. I would rather you two not call me Senator or Ms. or anything with my last name. I'm trying to stay young for as long as possible," she laughed.

"Mr. Ballard is here," Chelsea said, and Francis went to open the front door. Mellie waited patiently beside Will as she watched him walk in her house. He was dressed in his full official Naval uniform, clean cut and professional looking.

"Senator Richardson, it is such an honor and a pleasure to escort you to the charity dinner tonight," he said, walking up to her and shaking her hand gently.

"It is an honor to meet you, Captain Ballard. I've heard great things about you. And please, call me Mellie," she smiled.

"Only if you call me Jake," he smiled, revealing his shiny white teeth. She glanced at his eyes and back at Will, wondering if he was wearing contacts. There was no way his eyes were naturally that color. "Are you ready to go?"

"Of course," she nodded, and he held out his arm for her to take. She linked her arm through his, feeling special as they walked to the car. He helped her into the black SUV and got in beside her as Will got in the driver's seat and Chelsea in the passenger seat. Francis got in the other SUV and led the way downtown.

* * *

After arriving at the dinner and posing for a few pictures, Mellie and Jake went in the lavish dining room and took their seats. The room was decorated with pure white curtains and four glass chandeliers. Fresh white roses and candles sat as the centerpieces of each table. She looked over at Jake, who was taking all of it in.

' _He's probably not used to this kind of socializing,'_ she thought. _'He seems overwhelmed.'_

"Have you ever been to an event like this before?" She asked him, taking a sip of her water. He looked over at her and seemed calmer.

"Nothing this large or public. Mainly Navy events," he said, noticing Will two seats down from Mellie and Francis at the table behind them. As they talked, she noticed some of the families who were helped by the charity she invited sitting at their table.

"This is my second time here, and it's always nice. Difference is, this time _I'll_ do the speaking," she half laughed, glancing at his hands resting on the table. The first thing she noticed was a scar on the back of his hand, near his wrist, and she wondered what had happened there. The second thing was the absence of a wedding ring.

She was about to ask him about his scar when a few of her elite campaign donors came up to speak to her, and took Jake by surprise.

"And who is this handsome man you're dining with this evening?" One woman dressed in a sparkly black gown asked Mellie.

"This is Captain Jake Ballard. I've tried to have an escort from each military branch for events so far, and he agreed to come," Mellie smiled, and Jake shook the woman's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said, and she smiled sweetly at him, muttered something about a donation to Mellie, and walked away.

"Donors?" He asked, taking a drink of his water.

"Very gracious donors," she sighed. "Not that I needed them. But they insisted, and I needed to get some political capital," she said quietly.

He nodded and saw the waiter come up for their drink orders.

"Two glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon, please," Jake said, and Mellie smiled on the inside as the waiter walked away.

' _He can pick out a good wine. He has experience_ ,' she thought.

"If you don't like wine, I can order something else," he said. "It just goes nicely with dinner tonight."

"No, wine is fine," she said, and turned towards the first speaker onstage. She gave a brief rundown of the charity the dinner was for, what they did, and the fact it was the one Mellie had chosen to support when she became senator.

The charity supported young adults, ages 18-25, who were fighting some sort of cancer. She had chosen it after hearing about one of Karen's friends who was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few months ago.

She wondered how Karen and Teddy were doing, and if she would get to see them soon. They were her life.

She sat there by Jake, grateful when the waiter brought their glasses of chilled wine back. She knew she had to get up there after this and say a few nice words about her donors, the charity, and everyone who attended the dinner.

She heard everyone clapping for the woman and Jake nudged her arm. She immediately stood up and he escorted her to the stairs of the stage and she made her way to the wooden podium under the bright lights.

"I want to first thank everyone for coming out this evening and supporting this wonderful charity," she smiled, looking around the audience for a familiar face. "Our support, whether it be physical, monetary, or spiritual, means so much to these young adults and their families."

She continued her short speech, looking back and forth between Jake and Chelsea. She had never been this nervous about speaking in front of a crowd before. Maybe it was the fact it was only her third big event since becoming a senator and the fact she was no longer pushed to the side. She was the one in the spotlight now, after years of standing in the wings.

She quickly finished and headed backstage, her heels tapping against the shiny black floor. She was greeting by a young gentleman waiting to take her back to her seat.

"Wonderful job, Senator Richardson," he said, taking her arm and walking back to the dinner floor.

She returned to her seat and listened to one more speaker before the dining staff brought out the meal, which included a nice steak. She began talking to the family that had sat with them. Their 20-year-old son, who had overcome leukemia last year, was sitting beside Mellie. She smiled and pulled out her phone, handing it to his father, who was sitting across the table from her.

"Would you mind taking a picture of us? It's not every night I get to sit between two handsome young men," she smiled, and took a picture with the young man, named Elliot, and then they took a selfie with Jake. She and Elliot talked about his plans for the future, how college was going, and what his interests were. Before they all knew it, dinner was over and it was time to go home. She looked down at her phone - it was already 9:30.

She thanked Elliot and his family for coming, and promised to keep in touch with them. They all left, and after mingling on their way out, Mellie and Jake finally made it back to the car at 10:30.

"That went well," she said, glad it was over. Jake shut his door and glanced over as she took her shoes off. Francis started the car and they started back to her house.

"I heard we took in close to $60,000 for the charity tonight, and that's just an estimate," she told him. "Thank you for coming, Jake."

At first, she had been hesitant having another random escort. This was her third one since moving here. She had tried to get someone she knew personally to go with her to events, but it didn't always work out.

"Of course, Mellie. I had a really good time," he smiled, showing his perfect teeth again, and she longed to know more about him.

"So did I," she said, looking back at the scar on his left hand. He must've caught her looking, because he smiled and began telling the story.

"Happened five years ago. Hot shrapnel," he said, and she could see his smile turn to sadness as he looked out the window. The memories must've been bad, because he wouldn't tell her anymore then. She felt her heart sink, and regretted her ever wondering.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she whispered, saying nothing else until they got back to her house. They pulled up in her driveway, and Will and Francis made sure they got inside safely to say goodbye.

"Jake, I cannot thank you enough for this wonderful evening. It was great spending time with you," she told him as they stood in her living room once again, and she could tell he looked tired and happy all at once.

"No, thank you, Mellie. I had a lot of fun. If you ever need another escort, you know where I'm at. It is late, so I'll be heading out. Come by the recruitment office sometime and I'll show you around," he smiled, thanking her again and leaving. Chelsea came in as he left and Mellie sat down on the couch, unsure of what she was feeling.

"I've never seen that look before," Chelsea grinned as she walked up, arms crossed, and sat in the recliner by Mellie.

"What look?" She asked, taking her diamond earrings off.

" _That_ look. It's different. It must have been something about Jake."

"What about him? He was a good escort, that's all," Mellie shrugged, seeing Will and Francis check all the doors and windows before leaving for the night.

"He was ecstatic on the phone about going tonight. He must have had a good time, the way he walked out of here with a smile from ear to ear. And you seemed to have a pretty good time too," Chelsea smiled at her.

"He told me if I came to the office, he would show me around," she said quietly, twisting her earrings between her fingers, her deep red nails shining. "You want something to drink?" She asked, getting up from the couch and going into the kitchen.

"No thank you, I have to drive home. Wait, he wants you to visit the office? That sounds like he's interested to me," Chelsea said, following her into the kitchen, sitting at the bar while Mellie grabbed a bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet and poured a glass, then leaned over the counter, taking a long drink.

"Are you going to go soon?"

"I don't know," Mellie said. Deep down, she wanted to scream yes. She would go tomorrow if she could. Those gorgeous hazel eyes and pearly white teeth made her weak. He was such a gentleman to her. "Maybe I'll get there in two weeks."

"Good luck. Do you need me to do anything else before I leave, ma'am?" Chelsea asked.

"No, I'm fine. I'll see you Monday morning at the office," Mellie smiled. "Thank you, Chelsea."

"Yes ma'am," she nodded, quickly getting up and leaving.

Mellie finished her whiskey and saw it was eleven, then went to bed. The soft sheets were cozy, but her bed felt lonely. It had felt lonely for the past twenty years without Fitz, but this was a different lonely. She didn't even have him now.

She was all alone.


	2. A Date With Danger

**A/N:** This chapter is longer than usual, but I really didn't want to split it up. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think! Be watching for the next chapter soon. And a shoutout to my friend for critiquing/proofreading this and catching my mistakes.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Monday morning, Mellie sat in her office alongside Chelsea, signing bills and taking phone calls. It was only 9:20 a.m., and they were already up to their necks in work. She was wearing her favorite blue dress and matching jacket and had even put up her hair today. She should've felt confident, but something kept eating away at her as she mindlessly read papers and signed them with her black fountain pen.

Mellie secretly wished Jake would try to contact her. She didn't even need a boyfriend right now. She just needed a friend, any friend she could trust in this town. She might have taken Fitz's political capital, but he had won the public's hearts, leaving her with the short end of the stick. She had to claw her way back to where she had been when she started running for senator, especially after the divorce. This journey to the top was no easy feat, especially being a woman and former First Lady.

"We're going to the charity house on Friday, correct?" Mellie asked Chelsea after receiving an email from the charity house. She had promised them a visit at least once a week, and they chose the day. She loved going there and helping out, whether it be doing work on the grounds, cleaning the house, or hanging out with the kids. Being with the kids was probably her favorite part. They kept her up to date on what was popular and what was not, something Karen refused to do.

"Friday at two," Chelsea said, taking a phone call. Mellie had a meeting with the other senators for Virginia and D.C., and went to their usual Monday conference meeting before heading home for the day. She made chicken Caesar salad and vegetables for dinner, then sat in her oversized gray recliner to watch the 10 o'clock news before going to bed.

As she got ready for bed, washing her face and removing her makeup, her phone buzzed with a new email. She panicked at first, knowing an email this time of night couldn't be good. She prayed it wasn't some sort of crisis they would all have to come in for, that Teddy was ok, that whatever it was, it could wait until tomorrow.

She relaxed when she saw it was Jake.

' _How did he get my personal email? I bet it was Chelsea,_ ' she thought.

She quickly finished washing her face and got into her queen sized bed under the warm covers, turning off all the lights and unlocking her phone as she laid down. She opened his email, which read:

 _Mellie,_

 _I'm sorry to bother you so late. I contacted your assistant about getting in touch with you, and this is the address she gave me._

"She knows not to just hand out my email," Mellie whispered to herself, then continued reading.

 _If you do not have any plans this weekend, I would be honored if you joined me for dinner Friday evening at seven._

 _There is also an induction for the newest class of Navy recruits next Tuesday, and I do not have an escort. Your presence would be enjoyed, if you have the time._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Captain Jake Ballard_

Mellie grinned. He wanted to take her out. _Her_. Something she hadn't experienced since college. She decided not to seem too excited and wait until the morning to answer.

* * *

Mellie sat at the breakfast table with Francis at seven that morning, who had come in early after dropping his son off at school. She was eating her oatmeal and watching the news when a broadcast about an overnight business fire when she noticed a familiar looking man.

' _Is that Jake?_ ' She thought, watching the firemen put out the fire quickly. She picked up her phone off the table and looked him up, but was unable to find any more information on him than his being head recruiter at the Navy office.

She opened a new email to him and began typing, a smile forming on her face.

 _Captain Ballard,_

 _I would love to join you for dinner, but I will warn you, Francis must join us for safety reasons. I will check my schedule and get back to you about the induction._

 _Are you a firefighter?_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Senator Richardson_

She hit send and smiled, waiting impatiently for his reply as she went to put on her shoes and go to work.

* * *

Mellie walked up to her front door at five that evening, exhausted after today's meeting to prepare for the next big meeting on Friday. She unlocked it and dragged herself inside, shutting the door behind Will and laying her keys on the kitchen table.

That was one thing she was grateful for; Fitz had bought her a house in D.C. as part of the settlement. She was right on the edge of downtown, but still close enough to see Teddy when she wanted. It wasn't the White House or the houses in Santa Barbara, but it was better than she expected him to do.

As soon as she set her bag down and went upstairs to change into more comfortable clothes, her phone rang. She picked it up off her bed and saw it was Fitz, and wondered what he wanted.

"Hello?" She answered, not feeling like putting up with anything out of him. He only ever spoke to her about Teddy.

"What day this week do you want to come see Teddy?" He asked coldly, his voice hateful.

"Thursday afternoon, Friday, and Saturday," she said, working on taking her makeup off.

"I said _day_ , not days-"

"And I said Thursday and Friday. Give me that, Fitz. I get to see him twice a week if I'm lucky, the way you keep him from me. You get to see him every day. Don't make me release about that time you almost tried to-"

"Fine, all three days," he interrupted, and quickly hung up. She sighed, always angry with him, as she put her phone back down. She changed into her pajamas and put her hair up in a ponytail when she checked her emails. As she expected, there was a new email from Jake.

 _Mellie,_

 _Please, don't call me Captain. That is my official title that is only used by the Navy and in official paperwork. If you must call me something other than Jake, Mr. Ballard will do fine._

 _Will Francis have to be there the whole time? The restaurant isn't in the middle of the city. Wonderful you can come. I'll pick you up at seven, if that works for Francis and yourself._

 _Why do you ask if I'm a firefighter? If you must know, the answer is yes._

 _Jake_

Mellie grinned as she sat on her bed. She learned something new about this man every day. He was a firefighter. He was all about the danger. She even had a date with Danger.

She locked her phone excitedly and knew she would be up all night. Jake made her happy, he excited her, made her tingle from her head to her toes. He had ignited a flame in her that had been smoldered for years.

* * *

Friday afternoon rolled around, and Mellie was in a hurry to leave work. They visited the charity house at one and hung out with the kids, doing basically whatever the young adults wanted to do. They got back to her office at 4:45, trying to wrap things up for the afternoon after having a good time earlier. She threw the rest of her unfinished papers and bills in her file and shoved it in her bag. She grabbed her sweater and put it on, knowing the late August air would be cool on her skin as she headed home. She clocked out down the hall from her office and hurried out the door to her shiny black sports car, a "parting gift" of Fitz's. She loved driving again, something she had missed since moving into the White House. She loved the feeling of being behind the wheel again, being able to roll down the windows and feel the wind and sun against her face.

She made it home at 5:20, getting stuck in rush hour traffic, and immediately started getting ready for their date. She picked out her favorite sleeveless red dress and matching silver heels and immediately started on her hair. It was around 6:30 when she started touching up her makeup and got a text from Chelsea.

"So Francis tells me you and Jake have a date tonight."

Mellie sighed. She had totally forgotten about telling Chelsea. She knew she wasn't happy.

"I totally forgot to tell you. We planned it Tuesday. It's just dinner," Mellie typed back and hit send, picking up her eyeliner again. She began re-applying it when she heard Francis come in and announce his presence.

"It's just me," he yelled up the stairs.

"I'll be down in a minute," Mellie yelled back, putting on her lipstick and a diamond necklace.

"You gonna be able to keep your hands to yourself? I saw how infatuated you were with him after the dinner." Chelsea texted back.

"Should I have something written up for damage control on standby?" Chelsea replied again, and Mellie decided to answer her before she made any more comments.

"We'll be fine. I do not care. I lived too much of my life caring and trying to stay two steps ahead of the press and keeping my tracks covered. I won't live like that any more. Let the people talk. I'll tell them whatever I want to."

Mellie shoved her phone into her silver clutch and started down the stairs, catching Francis's attention.

"You look stunning this evening, ma'am," he said, taking her hand as she walking down the last few steps.

"Why thank you, Francis," she blushed. "Jake was wondering if we could go in his car tonight."

"I reviewed Mr. Ballard's driving history earlier today and it was excellent, so I believe we can allow him to drive," Francis said, and went to answer the door upon hearing the doorbell.

"No, let me get it," Mellie said excitedly, racing to beat him to the door. She opened it and found Jake standing there in a dark gray suit, white shirt with the top button undone, and black shoes to match. His hair was fixed nicely, and his teeth were shining bright.

"Hey," she said, looking him over again, taking all of him in. "You look great."

He stood there for a moment, at a loss for words. Her pinned up curls and dark gray eye shadow, along with her stunning red dress and soft lipstick had him speechless.

"You look _beautiful_ ," he managed to get out. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," she said, and Francis followed them out the door and to Jake's car. It was a large silver truck that looked to only be a few years old, and she was impressed. He opened her door and Francis climbed in the backseat, and Mellie got into the passenger seat. Jake snuck in a smile at her when he closed the door and got in the driver's seat.

"So where are we going tonight?" She asked, checking out the interior of his car as he started it and drove away. He had gone all out with his car, having heated leather seats, Bluetooth, backup camera, high definition speakers, everything anyone could want in a vehicle.

"Do you like seafood?"

"Absolutely," she said, eager to know their dinner plans.

"Good. We're going to a little hole in the wall yet elegant seafood place called Wade's. It's about fifteen minutes from here. I made reservations for 7:30. I thought we could stop and pick up a bottle of wine on the way there," he smiled.

She smiled and knew this man was going to be the death of her. He had such charm and every word he said made her feel warm inside. His eyes were what really got her, though. Looking into those hazel eyes was like staring at freshly polished gems.

He pulled over at a liquor store on the way there and ran in, getting the nicest bottle of red wine he could find. He kept her background and tastes in mind, hoping she would like what he picked out. He came back out a few minutes later and got in the car, putting the wine in the backseat.

They pulled up at Wade's at 7:25 and Jake quickly parked his car, then went over to get Mellie's door. He was right - it was about ten minutes out from the city, but still on a paved road. It was more in a suburb than the country. He helped her out of the car and grabbed the wine, and Mellie stopped a confused Jake as they watched Francis head into the restaurant.

"He has to check it out first," she said, watching Francis confirm the reservation as he spoke to the woman at the door.

He gave Mellie their secret confirmation signal and she looked over at Jake.

"It's safe," she smiled, and he followed behind her, also wanting to protect her. He took a deep breath, excited to be going on a date with such an incredible woman.

He didn't see her as the former First Lady or even as the current Senator of Virginia. He just saw her as a smart, beautiful, independent woman who he was lucky enough to get a date with.

They walked inside the restaurant and sat down at their table, near the back, as Jake requested. He put the wine on the table and the waiter came and opened it, then poured it into glasses for them and handed them menus before walking away. Jake could tell she was a little nervous about being on a public date for the first time since the divorce.

Mellie looked around the dimly lit restaurant and saw it was packed, but she didn't let that bother her. She was here to have a good time. She noticed the dark wooden walls, the red booths, the cute little candles on the tables. She picked up her menu and skimmed over it, not even really hungry. She was just glad to spend time with him.

"Anything catch your eye?" Jake asked, glancing up from his menu.

' _Yes. You,_ ' she thought, then pushed it to the back of her mind.

"The grilled tilapia and scallops," she said contently. He was all that was on her mind.

"Good choice," he said satisfactorily. He closed his menu and set it down as he leaned forward.

"So where is Francis at in here right now?" He questioned, and Mellie smiled, winking at Francis from afar.

"Over by the bar," she said, and he turned around to look, barely able to see him in the corner, drinking some water and keeping an eye on them.

"I told him to keep his distance tonight. I've never gotten this far from any security detail out in public in the past fifteen years," she laughed, taking a drink of her wine.

"It's nice to take a break," he said assuringly as the waiter came back to take their orders.

"What will we be having tonight?" He asked, pulling out his ticket book.

"She will be having the grilled tilapia and scallops, and I will be having the seasoned salmon and shrimp. Two Caesar salads also, please," Jake said, handing him the menu.

' _He is the epitome of a gentleman_ ,' Mellie thought, grinning slightly as she rested her hands in her lap. She wanted to hold his hands and wondered if they were soft.

"Very well. I'll put those orders right in," the waiter smiled and trotted off to the bustling kitchen. Jake was overjoyed to be sitting here with this awesome woman, he couldn't help but smile. Their waiter brought their salads out moments later, and Jake was thankful. He was hungry but also needed a minute to think. He and Mellie enjoyed themselves until she heard a familiar voice approaching.

"Mellie Grant," The unique voice asked as the person came up behind her. She almost dropped her salad fork in shock and Jake saw the fear in her eyes. Her heart dropped because she knew exactly who it was.

' _We let that snake Hollis play in our garden for too long...'_

"What a surprise to see you here," Hollis Doyle said with a smile, standing at the end of her table. His Texan drawl was quite prominent tonight.

"Hollis!" She faked a smile and got up to hug him. "How have you been? It's a while. This is my friend, Jake."

"Jake, how are you?" Hollis asked, shaking his hand. "Almost too long. I saw you and Fitz got a divorce recently."

"We did," she said, glad to say it. She had begun to accept the fact she could never make him happy and she needed to really start thinking about herself. "I go by Richardson now."

"It was for the better, Mellie. He was holding you back. Now you're free to climb the political ladder. You have my number if you ever need some extra support. I'll be in town for a week before I head home," Hollis said.

"Maybe we can do lunch one day?"

"You got it, sweet pea," he said. "Y'all have a good evening," he nodded, leaving the restaurant. She watched him walk out the door and she could finally breathe easily again. Jake gave her a look and she sighed.

"It's a long story," she laughed. "Hollis and I go back to Fitz's campaign for president. He's done so much for my family," she explained.

"Big donor?" He asked, wondering how she had really come to know him. He took a bite of his salad and she sipped on her wine, really not wanting to talk about this here.

"You could say that," she said happily. She saw Francis shoot her a look and she sighed quietly, knowing what he meant. She should have known better than to agree to go out so soon. She saw the cameras outside the building and escorted Jake to the bathroom frantically.

"Why are we sitting in this bathroom?" He asked quietly, realizing she was stressed out now.

"I don't want these reporters to start bothering you," she said. "I don't know how they found out I was here. They watch me like a hawk and if they got a whiff of me dating, they would have an absolute field day," she sighed.

Francis knocked on the door and she jumped, scared to death.

"It's Francis," he said quietly. She opened the door and let him in and he quickly locked it back.

"The manager is working on running them off. Hollis is helping stall out front. Do you want to leave or finish your dinner?" Francis asked, knowing Mellie hated these kind of things. She had been fortunate to not be hounded by masses of reporters.

"Let's just go home," Jake said, noticing Mellie was sincerely worried for him.

"Are you sure? This is not how I planned a first date to go," she sighed, shaking her head.

"It's fine, Mellie. Just let me pay and we can go," he said, a little disappointed, but he knew he agreed to go out with a famous political figure. Francis opened the door for Jake to go pay, and he came back a few minutes later ready to go. He had even gotten their waiter to make their order to go, and she was glad they could finish their food later.

Francis then slipped them out the back door and in the truck, telling Jake to drive around the front of the building before the reporters figured out their game. Mellie sighed with relief as they got down the road and Jake couldn't help but smile.

"Where do you want to go now?" He asked. She shook her head in embarrassment.

"You can just take me home," she said sadly. "I'm sorry I wasted your time and ruined your night."

"You did not ruin my night. I've had a pretty good time, actually. And we still have to eat dinner. So I'll ask again, where would you like to go?" He said sternly, which drove her wild.

' _A man who takes charge. Incredibly sexy_ ,' she thought.

"My house is fine," she said, and he wondered if Teddy was with her for the weekend or with Fitz. He wasn't sure if he could handle a woman with children, but he would take a chance on her.

They pulled up to her house twenty minutes later and Jake parked his truck, jumping out to open Mellie's door for her. He escorted her inside and Francis brought the food in. Jake heated it up and Mellie went upstairs to fix her makeup, taking off her heels before walking up the stairs. She quickly touched up her eye shadow and fixed her hair, wanting to look her best. Mellie left her shoes in her bedroom before going back to her date, worried that he would never come back. She was trying to protect him, not run him off. She walked down the stairs slowly, her hand on the wooden railing as she made her way down. She noticed Jake standing in the middle of the living room with his hands in his pockets and smiling, causing her to smile.

"What is it?" She asked curiously.

"I was wondering if we could start this date over," he smiled from ear to ear, taking her hand as she stepped off the last step and on to the hardwood floor. "Would you like some dinner?"

"Of course," she smiled as he led her into the kitchen, where he had set their now warm food at the dining room table. He pulled her chair out for her and poured her a glass of the wine he picked up on the way to Wade's.

"Thank you," she said, taking a sip of the wine, much more relaxed at home.

She could tell he was better away from the cameras, and she was thankful they came home. He sat down and they both enjoyed their food and wine, getting to know each other better. Two hours later they were laughing and sharing old stories.

"Despite our adventure earlier, this was a really great night. Thank you, Jake," she said happily. "It's been years since I've been on a real date."

"It was a pleasure taking you out, Mellie. I would love to do it again sometime, if you would let me," he said, taking their dishes to the sink and washing them.

"You don't have to wash the dishes. I'll get it later," she said, following him. She put away the wine and dried the newly clean plates, putting them away as he dried his hands. He put his gray blazer back on and she followed him to the door, hating he had to go. It was nearing midnight and she knew tomorrow would be a long day with her charity work.

"So what time is the recruit induction Tuesday?" She asked as they stood in the doorway, the night air filling her living room.

"Dinner will be served at six, the ceremony will begin at seven fifteen," he said. "Fifty-eight new recruits from our area this ceremony," he said proudly.

"I'll be there," she said. "What color should I wear?"

"Any- any color is fine," he stuttered, shocked she agreed to go with him. "Our dinner dress uniforms are black and have gold stripes on them. So anything will look good. I think this red is nice on you," he said, feeling his cheeks turning red.

"I'll keep that in mind," she smiled. "Dinner next Friday, same time?"

"Sure," he said happily. "I'll let you know more details about the ceremony as soon as I get them. I'll pick you up at five fifteen. These people love to mingle," he laughed. "Good night, Mellie."

"Good night, Jake," she said, and he hugged her goodbye before leaving. She stood in the doorway and watched him pull away and head home, her heart overflowing with feelings. She went upstairs and changed into her pajamas, settling into her bed, truly excited for the first time in months.


	3. You Shouldn't Be Alone, Part 1

**A/N:** Happy 2016 and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I don't really know what to say this time, but there is a part two since it ended up being so long. I will take suggestions into consideration and I love reading all of your reviews! Thanks for reading.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

After one week of working with her charity for cancer and another week of passing bills in the Senate, Mellie was excited for her fourth date with Jake. She left her office at four that Friday afternoon and rushed into rush hour traffic, causing her to get home at 4:30. She was used to the traffic every day, but today it seemed slower than usual. Her date with Jake was at five thirty, and he said it was a surprise. Chelsea met her at the house to do her hair, reading over his email as she curled Mellie's hair.

 _Mellie,_

 _I would like to take you out this Friday at five thirty sharp. It's a surprise, which I know you don't like, but please don't worry. I think you'll enjoy it. Jeans are fine. Think...patriotic colors._

 _Have a good day at work. See you Friday._

 _Jake_

"What could it be?" Mellie asked, putting on her dark pink lipstick.

"We're in the most patriotic city in this country, who knows," Chelsea sighed. "What are you going to wear?"

"I was thinking the white ruffled top and the navy blue pea coat, brown boots with these jeans," she said. "Maybe the diamond earrings?"

"And the matching necklace," Chelsea said, putting more hairspray in Mellie's now curly hair.

"This is great. Thanks, Chels," Mellie said, admiring her hair. She finished her makeup and realized it was 5:10 and almost panicked.

"Take my phone. Answer if he texts," she said, throwing her phone to Chelsea, who was sitting on her queen sized bed.

"You won't be late. All you have to do is change," she said. She continued checking her social media until Mellie's phone kept buzzing, and she saw it was Fitz.

"It's the Beast, can I answer?" She asked, and Mellie stepped out of the bathroom half dressed, not believing this. She didn't have time for his antics.

"What does he possibly want right now?" She scoffed.

"He says Teddy is sick and wants to see you. 101° fever, thinks it's the flu," she said, and Mellie's heart sank. She had to go take care of her baby. She hated standing Jake up like this, but he would have to understand.

"Tell him I'll be there as soon as possible," she said, putting on her white blouse and pea coat. "Let me see the phone."

Chelsea handed her the phone and she immediately dialed Fitz.

"Hello?" He said, and she heard an upset Teddy on the other end.

"How is he?" She asked, pulling a duffel bag out of her closet and throwing a change of clothes and a few other things inside in case she needed to stay the night with Teddy.

"Pretty sick. It came on all of a sudden. He was cold, but he's burning up with fever. All he does is shiver, curled up in his bed, wanting to see you and feel better. The doctor got him prescription strength medicine, but it won't take full effect until tomorrow. Definitely think it's the flu," he sighed.

"I'm about to leave. Please have me cleared through before I get there. And I don't-"

"Want Olivia near him, I know the drill, Mellie. I'll have Morris watching for you. Bye."

He hung up and she rolled her eyes, then heard Jake knocking on the front door.

"What am I going to tell him?" She sighed, zipping up her bag hurriedly.

"Tell him the truth. Your son comes first."

"You could go with him, you know. So this date doesn't go to waste," Mellie suggested.

"Pretty sure he would refuse anyone but you," Chelsea laughed. "I'll finish getting your stuff together. Go see about him."

Mellie ran downstairs and opened the door, finding Jake in jeans, a white t-shirt, and his brown leather jacket. He must have read the worry on her face as he came inside, because he knew something was wrong.

"What's up?" He asked, closing the door behind him.

"Jake, I am so, so sorry, but I have to cancel. Fitz just called me and said Teddy has the flu and I need to go see about him. I am so sorry," she said, feeling terrible inside right now. She could see the disappointment in his eyes but he understood.

"Mels, don't worry about it. I understand your son comes first. We'll just go out another time," he smiled assuringly.

"Can I know the surprise?" She asked.

"Dinner and main concourse seats for the Washington Wizards game tonight. But we'll go another time," he shrugged.

"I feel terrible about this. You had such a nice evening planned out and I had to cancel," she sighed, now looking forward to the game. She felt like the worst date in the world.

"This was out of your control. Don't feel bad about it. Look, if he gets better in a little while, call me and we'll go to the game late. If not, we could always go out tomorrow night, if you're not busy," he said.

"I have an event until six, but after that I'm free. I don't want the tickets to go to waste. Is there someone else you could give them to?" She asked, rubbing his arm. He looked at Francis in the kitchen and remembered he had a son.

"Francis, you want two tickets to the Wizards game tonight?" He asked, and Francis looked to Mellie for approval.

"You can go," she nodded. "Have a good time."

Francis got up from his seat and walked over to Jake, who pulled the tickets out of his pocket.

"Thank you, Mr. Ballard," he said, shaking his hand.

"No big deal, man. Enjoy yourself," he said, and Francis gathered his things and headed out the door. Mellie knew two agents would watch the house while she and Will went to the White House.

"Thank you for understanding," she whispered, giving him a quick kiss. "I'll be glad when we actually get to go to the game," she smiled.

"Of course. We'll have a good time," he said. "Need me to do anything for you?"

"No, thank you though," she said, her heart melting at his kind and giving nature, always wanting serve others.

"Ok. I'll let you go. Let me know how he is. See you later, Mels," he said, giving her a hug and leaving. She hated watching him go, but was glad he understood. She went back upstairs and found Chelsea had finished packing her things and had her bag and purse ready to go.

"I don't think I forgot anything," she said. "How did Jake take it?"

"Very well. He understood the situation," she said, picking up her bags and following Chelsea downstairs.

"Thanks for doing my hair, even though I'm dateless now," she laughed. "I'll let you do it again next time if you want."

"Deal. I'll see you later. I gotta run to the store before I head home," Chelsea said.

"Bye," Mellie said, turning off the kitchen lights. She locked the front door, set the security system, and went outside to find Will waiting for her at the car. They got in her shining black car and she drove away quickly, ready to see her son.

* * *

Mellie rushed to the security gates of the White House to find Morris waiting on her with a permanent pass in his hand. Even near the end of his shift, he still looked happy to be there.

"Good to see you, Mellie," he said, handing her two passes through her car window.

"Fitz said I couldn't give you any more than the visitor pass, but you need to be able to see your baby whenever you need to. And you deserve to be here as much as he does. So keep the permanent pass on the down low," he said.

"Thank you, Morris. Glad to know someone here is on my side," she smiled. She pulled up to one of the reserved spots and Will escorted her inside to the residence. She went straight to Teddy's room and knocked on the door while Will took her bags down to a guest room. Fitz opened the door and looked her once over, disgusted with her as usual.

"Where the hell were you going all dressed up?" He asked, and she smelled the hard liquor on his breath. She took a tiny step back and kept her composure.

"None of your damn business, Fitzgerald. You're lucky I don't call child services, you being drunk and incapable of taking care of your sick child," she said, pushing him aside and going over to her son lying in his bed in his dinosaur pajamas, hoping to feel better.

"Hey baby, Mama's here," she knelt beside him and he immediately crawled into her lap. She rocked him back and forth, talking to him softly.

"Fitz, will you get the thermometer please?" She asked, feeling Teddy's hot forehead. Fitz grabbed the thermometer off the dresser and handed it to her, knowing she was better at this parenting thing than she was. She stuck the thermometer in his mouth and timed it by her watch, which said it was now 6:15.

"102," she sighed. "Go get a cool rag," she told him, and Fitz wanted to make a smart remark, but refrained and did as he was told. He returned and she laid the damp cloth across her son's forehead, wishing she could do more for him.

She held him close, handing him his stuffed red stegosaurus and he was calm, yet still shaking in her arms. Fitz quietly left the room, seeing Mellie had no use for him and she was doing a better job of taking care of Teddy than he could. Twenty minutes later, she set him on his bed and stood up to find Will at the door.

"You want some soup?" She asked Teddy, and he nodded his head yes.

"Please," he said quietly. She turned around and saw Will watching over them and she smiled, then turned back to Teddy.

"Why don't we go down to the living room and watch some TV?" She asked. "I bet Will would like to watch cartoons with you while I make some soup," she said, picking Teddy and his blanket up as he clutched his stegosaurus tightly. All he could do was nod, and Will followed them down the hall to the living room. She set Teddy on the soft blue couch and he laid down on a pillow, pulling his blanket closer to him. Will sat beside him at the other end of the couch, taking off his jacket and laying it across the back of the couch. Mellie turned on one of Teddy's many favorite TV shows and looked at Will.

"Do you want something more comfortable to change into? It looks like we might be here until tomorrow," she said. "I can go get you some jeans or sweatpants and there's plenty of t-shirts."

"I'm fine right now, but thank you," he smiled.

"You want anything to eat? There's everything under the sun to eat in the kitchen. I can make something real quick," she offered.

"I'll get something in a little bit," he said.

"Ok," she nodded, headed off to the kitchen to make her homemade kitchen noodle soup. She saw there was leftover roast beef, sweet potatoes, steamed carrots, taco soup, green beans, and chicken and dressing in the fridge as she looked for all the ingredients she needed. She got her noodles cooking and broth heating up and took a minute to just breathe. She pulled out her phone and texted Jake, still feeling bad about their date.

"Hey. How are things on your end?" She asked, wondering what he was doing.

"Just ate dinner. How's Teddy?" He asked, concerned about her son. He sat on his couch in gym shorts and a gray t-shirt, hoping his arm would feel better. It always hurt before a cold front or storm came through, so he hoped the rain would go away or hurry up and get here. It didn't help that he had pulled two people out of a burning building earlier today.

"Definitely the flu. 102° fever, chills, aches. Got him watching TV with Will while I make him some soup. Hope he's doing better tomorrow."

"Most definitely. You know you can call me if you need me, right?"

"Yeah. Do you think something's going to happen?" She asked hesitantly.

"No. I just want you to know I'll be there in a heartbeat if need to be. That's all," he texted back.

"Good to know," she answered back with a smile on her face. She locked her phone and set it down while she tended to the chicken and broth, and almost jumped when she heard Fitz come in.

"Care to explain why our child is cozy with _your_ Secret Service agent?" He growled, and she could clearly see every vein in his neck sticking out, which only happened when he was angry. Seemed like he was always angry with her.

"Maybe because Will is actually someone familiar to him and he trusts him," she fired back as he stepped closer to her, their bodies almost touching. "Don't come in here trying instigate something, Fitz."

"No need. _You sleeping with him?_ " He whispered in her ear, keeping her pinned against the counter, his breath hot against her face.

"No!" She yelled as she hit him in the middle of his hard chest, knocking the breath out of him, and he grabbed her left wrist, trying to restrain her. She yelled at him to let her go, for Will, for his agents, for anyone that would listen. She swung back with her right fist as hard as she could, hitting him in the cheekbone and nose so hard she heard it crack. He let go of her, bending over, holding his bleeding nose as she turned off the stove and headed for the door.

" _Damn it, Mellie, get back here!_ " Fitz yelled, grabbing the back of her shirt and spinning her around, gripping her wrists as tightly as he could. She whimpered and closed her eyes as he yelled at her and her wrists hurt worse and worse.

 _"I asked if you were sleeping with him_ ," he yelled, losing his balance and falling against her. He ignored her begging, the fear in her tired eyes. He liked the dominance he always had over her.

"I'm not surprised, you probably whored around with Tom and Hal, _didn't you?_ And let's not forget Andrew," he laughed angrily. She was furious, wishing she was able to tell him the truth, to take those lies out of his mouth. Her mouth was so dry she couldn't even form a few words.

"You thought you two were sneaky. I know _everything_ you did. What did he have that I didn't? Is that why you wanted to be First Lady? To throw yourself at every politically powerful man you could?"

She shook her head no and saw his hand rear back, ready to hit her. She mentally prepared herself for the blow and was surprised when he grabbed her wrist again.

"News flash, Mellie, _I was still your husband_. I was the one you should've been with. What happened to 'for better and for worse'?" He slurred, tears in his eyes.

"You were _never_ faithful to me," she said scornfully, and just as he slammed her against the kitchen wall, her cries were heard by Will and four of his other agents who kicked in the door and had their guns pointed at Fitz. She opened her eyes and the whole room seemed to be spinning around her.

"Let _go_ of her," one of his agents demanded, and Fitz threw her back against the wall, following two of them out of the room for questioning and to examine his injuries.

Will saw the fear in Mellie's eyes and got a good look into Fitz's angry, possessive eyes and at his bruised face and bloodied nose. He was speechless. This was one reason Mellie agreed to a divorce. To be free.

He finally understood.

He walked over to her and she held on to the edge of the counter, shaking from shock and fear. She tried to catch her breath and tears fell down her face as the agents tried to comfort her.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Nathan, one of his agents, said as they all sat down at the kitchen table. Jackson, the other agent, examined her now bruised wrists and sighed quietly.

"Jackson, would you mind sitting with Teddy? I don't want him in the middle of this," she asked, and he quickly went to the living room. Will sat down beside Nathan and hated seeing Mellie like this.

"I was making soup for Teddy when Fitz came in. I had left Will with Teddy in case he needed something while I was in here. According to Fitz, Teddy was snuggled up to Will and Fitz wanted to know why. I told him Teddy knew Will well and was comfortable around him and trusted him, and Fitz accused me of sleeping with him, which I am not. He pinned me up against the counter and I fought back to get free. I know how Fitz can be when he's drunk and angry. I tried to run after I hit him, and that's when he grabbed me and threw me against the wall," she said. "Can I get some ice for my wrists?"

"Of course," Nathan said, pausing the tape recorder he had out. She slowly made her way to the fridge, filling a plastic bag with ice and wrapping a towel around it and sitting back down. She set it on her right wrist and began crying uncontrollably again. She thought she was done with this abuse. Once she calmed down, Nathan started the recording again.

"Do I have to go see the doctor about this?" She asked quietly.

"You can refuse it, but since you are Teddy's mother and in the White House when this happened, it will be a lot of paperwork," Nathan explained.

"Fine, I'll go. Any more questions?"

"You said you are not and have not had sexual relations with Agent William, correct?" He asked again.

"I have never had sexual relations with him, that is correct," she said.

"For the record, where did Mr. Grant hurt you?"

"He physically grabbed my wrists as tight as he could and slammed me into a wall, which hurt my back," Mellie said, hating they caught Fitz this time. She always thought that was what she wanted, but she knew this would be a lot of trouble. They would do an investigation and question them both again, if not more.

"Has Mr. Grant ever hurt you before, Mrs. Richardson?" Will spoke up and saw her past begin to come out. She didn't answer for a minute, hoping she was just hearing things.

" _Mellie_ ," Nathan said, and she snapped out of it. "Has Mr. Grant ever hurt you before?"

"Yes," she whispered hesitantly. She felt her body begin to shake again and she tried to stop it, but she was too weak. She saw the shock in their eyes and knew she was in deep now.

"Can you recall when he hurt you?"

"Too many times to count," she cried. "He's broken my nose and a few fingers. He's hit me, slapped me, kicked me, cut me. That doesn't include verbal abuse, either. Calling me a whore, a bitch, a monster, good for nothing, trash, worthless, a piece of shit, accusing me of sleeping with every man that walks past, the list goes on and on," she said, finally getting this off her chest. She stood up and took off her shirt, revealing the five scars on her shoulders and arms where he had cut her. She showed them the three fingers he had broken over the years and how her rings never fit right again.

"Pull up a picture from before 2013, you'll see the difference between how my nose looks," she said, grabbing her phone and pulling up an old picture of her and Fitz and handing it to them.

"It's straight there, see?" She said. "Let me show you a picture from 2013."

Will handed her his phone and she pulled up a picture about a month after Fitz had broken her nose.

"It's crooked and swollen there, even a month after it was broken," she explained. "And look at it now. It's still disfigured."

Nathan and Will couldn't believe their eyes. They couldn't believe he had hurt her so badly over the years and she had kept his abuse so well hidden.

"Mellie, I...why didn't you tell someone? Why was this not caught on the cameras?" Nathan asked.

"He was smart enough to do it when we were gone somewhere or bribe the agent on duty to turn the cameras off in the residence. I never told anyone because I was afraid he would find out and do something worse," she admitted, feeling like she got a huge weight off her chest.

"If enough evidence is gathered, would you like to press charges on domestic violence and abuse?" He asked, his voice cracking. She sat there and thought about it for a minute, what the consequences might be. She didn't want to see his career go up in flames, but she didn't want see him get away with this, either. She was too tired of that.

"Yes," she whispered quietly, and Nathan got up from his seat and sighed, trying to think through all of this.

"I'm going to see how questioning is going for them, see if I can get a confession out of him now," he said, leaving the room. Mellie slowly put her shirt back on, feeling weaker than before as the tears began again. Will got up and moved to the chair beside her, rubbing her arm and trying to comfort her. He had never seen her this upset and didn't know where this road might take them. He knew he would be questioned later, but right now, she needed some assurance she wasn't alone.

"If the public knew the things I know about him, they never would have re-elected him. He never would have been president and we wouldn't be here," she sobbed.

"Come here," he whispered, and she didn't hesitate to sit in his lap and wrap her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. He held her close for at least fifteen minutes, then she began to calm down. She tried to finish making the soup, but her mind was elsewhere and she couldn't think straight. She looked down at her now purple, scratched wrists and almost cried again.

"How about we call the chef up here to finish this and you get cleaned up?" Will suggested, and she willingly agreed, knowing she wasn't herself right now. She had fought off her ex-husband, and it was just now getting to her. She made her way to the guest room she was staying in and into the bathroom to remove her now ruined makeup. She slowly wiped it all off and gently washed her face, trying to wash away the pain. Her red and swollen eyes told it all, however, and she went back to see about her son.

She found Teddy on the couch still watching TV and playing with his toys with Jackson, who was in the floor, surrounded by dinosaurs, trucks, and action figures.

"Jackson knows how to play dinosaurs too, Mama," Teddy said happily, and she couldn't help but smile. "We play a lot."

"That's good, sweetie. Is his dinosaur roar as good as yours?" She asked, sitting beside him on the couch. Teddy did his best dinosaur roar and giggled, getting smiles out of both of them.

"I don't think I'll ever be _that_ good," Jackson laughed, setting his dinosaur figurines down by Teddy.

"Your soup will be done in a minute, Teddy," she told him, and he nodded, off in his own little world with his toys.

"Thank you for sitting with him," she told Jackson, and he nodded with a shrug.

"It's no big deal. I got a son at home about his age, so I've had some practice playing dinosaurs and trucks and trains and just about anything under the sun," he laughed. "It's a nice little escape from the adult world, even if it is childish."

"Oh yeah," she agreed.

"Are you ok?" He asked quietly. "I'm asking as a friend, not as an agent."

"I'll be ok," she told him. "I've made it through worse."

"I hear you've been on a few dates," he said, and she began to blush, knowing they were all curious about Jake.

"Yeah, but don't let Fitz hear that. He'd freak," she said.

"He treating you right?"

"Of course. He's great," she smiled. "He'll want to kill Fitz if he finds out about this," she sighed, wondering how she would get past him without him seeing her wrists. She didn't want Jake getting into trouble because of her.

"He's not the only one," Jackson sighed. "We're all disappointed in Fitz. We should've seen it sooner."

"Don't be hard on yourself, Jackson," she pleaded. It wasn't their faults she was good at hiding her personal life. She had gotten experience over the years, so much so she didn't even have to try to hide anymore; it was natural.

They both heard footsteps and turned around to find the chef, Mary, bringing Teddy his soup. She carried a tray with the homemade chicken noodle soup, crackers, water, juice, and napkins on it and took it over to Teddy, glad to see him wanting to eat.

"Here you go, Ted," she said happily, setting the tray down beside him. She said hello to Mellie and quickly left, not wanting to interrupt anything. He sat up and ate a few bites of soup before lying back down and going to sleep.

"Poor thing. He's exhausted," Mellie sighed, pulling a blanket over her son and turning down the volume on the TV.

"You can go if you want. I'm fine here with him now," she said, and Jackson stood up, fixing his shirt and putting on his jacket.

"I'm just a phone call away if you need me," he said, showing himself out.

Mellie leaned back further into the couch and took a good look at her aching, bruised wrists and sighed. She knew Jake would find out and be upset. She wondered if she should just go ahead and tell him now and get it over with.

"The doctor would like to know if now is a good time to come up," Will said as he opened the hallway door.

"That's fine," she said quietly. "Will?"

"Yes ma'am?" He answered.

"Are they done questioning Fitz?"

"Not yet. The doctor had to see him first."

Mellie said nothing, knowing even the makeup department here couldn't hide his injuries with the best makeup available. She wondered why kind of story Cyrus and Olivia were already working on as an excuse. She wondered now why Cyrus hadn't already been down here to give her a piece of his mind.

"What am I going to tell Jake?" She asked quietly, looking him in the eyes.

"Tell him the truth. We'll be with you. I won't let him get into any trouble," Will promised. "I need to go get Dr. Carter."

Mellie nodded as he walked out the door and she picked up her phone, getting a text from Chelsea.

"How's Teddy?"

"Sleeping right now. Are you busy right now?" Mellie replied.

Chelsea looked at her watch and saw it was almost eight and wondered what was up.

"No, what's up?"

"Can you come down here please? I need to talk to you about something," Mellie typed back.

"I can be fired over text and save gas money, if that's your plan," Chelsea typed back, worried she wouldn't have a job in ten minutes.

"I'm not firing you. This is serious."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Chelsea replied.

Mellie leaned her head back against the couch and tried to fight tears, all of this hitting her hard again. She tried to stay quiet not to wake Teddy, and recomposed herself when she heard Dr. Carter come in the living room.

"Good evening, Mellie. Long time, no see," she said, setting down her tote bag on the floor beside the couch and Mellie stood up to give the woman a hug.

"Isn't it a good thing to not have to see you?" Mellie laughed quietly as she sat down and Dr. Carter turned the overhead light on. She sat on the couch beside Mellie and pulled her flashlight out of her lab coat pocket and checked her eyes and her pulse.

"They informed me of the situation, but I wanted to hear it from you. What are your ailments?" She asked.

"He slammed me into the wall. It felt like he was going to crush my wrists with his bare hands," Mellie whispered, unable to look Dr. Carter in the eyes. "My wrists are purple and bleeding. My back is pretty sore, but past that, I'm ok," she sighed.

Dr. Carter looked over her wrists and put away her flashlight.

"And you're sure nothing's broken? We can do an x-ray if you want," she said.

"No, nothing's broken."

"No head injuries?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, all I can suggest is ibuprofen because you'll be pretty sore tomorrow. Keep your wrists bandaged and iced as needed. And of course, you can call me if you need me at all, even if you're at home," Dr. Carter told her.

"Thank you," Mellie felt relieved. "How is his nose?"

"Definitely broken. Took a pretty hard hit. But you shouldn't worry about him. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself," she smiled. "But you didn't hear that from me."

She stood up and picked up her bag, hoping Mellie was ok emotionally.

"Good night, Mellie."

"Good night," she said, trying not to look at her wrists again. As soon as Dr. Carter left, Will came in with Chelsea and gave Mellie a serious look.

"Mrs. Richardson, may I speak with you in the hall before you two get settled?" Will asked, and Mellie was concerned. She got up and Chelsea gave her a nervous look, wondering what was going on.

"I'll be back in a minute," she told her friend as she walked out the door. Will took her down the hall and back into the kitchen, where three of Fitz's agents were waiting on her.

"Will, what's going on?" She whispered frantically as he led her to a chair at the kitchen table.

"Don't worry," he whispered back.

"Mrs. Richardson, we finished questioning Mr. Grant for the evening. What we found was...well, surprising to say the least. He admitted to every case of abuse you mentioned. And he admitted to using illegal drugs," one agent said.

Mellie couldn't believe it. He admitted to everything. He must think he would get something out of all this. What game was he playing?

"What happens if I press charges?" She asked.

"Well, we'll do another investigation, DHS and the FBI will start an investigation, there'll be multiple hearings, fines-"

"I changed my mind. Drop the charges," she said through clenched teeth, determined to beat him. She didn't know what he was up to, but she wouldn't let him win.

"Mrs. Richardson, are you-"

" _Drop the charges,_ " she growled, giving him a death glare as she got up and exited the kitchen with Will on her tail.

"Mellie, what are you doing?" He asked, and she stopped and spun around right before they got to the living room.

"He's up to something, Will. I don't know what it is, but he isn't one to admit to anything," she said. "I can't give him this satisfaction."

She went into the living room and sat in the floor beside Chelsea, explaining the night's events to her assistant and friend. She was exhausted. She was furious. She was ready to see her baby well again. She was ready to go home.

She was ready to see Jake.


	4. You Shouldn't Be Alone, Part 2

**A/N:** Here's the second half of the chapter. You'll get to see a little of Jake's vulnerable side, so I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to leave reviews and comments!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

" _He hurt you?_ " Jake raised his voice as he and Mellie sat on her couch with Teddy late Saturday morning. Teddy felt much better today despite his fever, but Mellie wasn't going to take a chance and leave him with Fitz today. She was afraid of him taking out his unnecessary anger with her on their son.

"I'll be fine, Jake. Please don't do anything irrational," she told him, glancing at Teddy playing with his train sets in the floor. She knew Jake was furious, even if he tried to hide it.

"He laid his hands on you, he _touched_ you and he _hurt_ you, Mellie," he said, his face turning red with anger and his breathing heavy. Teddy ran over to him with a train car and Jake sighed, trying to calm down. He got down in the floor with him and played along with his trains.

"I already broke his cheekbone and nose, I think he's fine," Mellie said. "Promise me you won't do anything."

"I won't go after him," he said, wanting to hurt Fitz for even laying a hand on Mellie. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Just sore," she told him. "I'm fine."

"Ok," he whispered, letting the matter go. "You down for the game tonight?"

"You bet," she smiled. "Would you mind if I brought Teddy along? I just...can't leave him with Fitz right now."

"It's their last home game for a week and a half, so I'm glad to hear that. Of course he can come, no problem," he said, getting a high five from Teddy. "We're going to a basketball game tonight, little man," he smiled.

"Basketball game?" Teddy's eyes lit up as he looked at Jake.

"Yep," he said, and Teddy squealed happily, and they wondered if he even knew what they were doing tonight. The only sport he really knew of was swimming and football, Mellie had told Jake.

"I have to go take a shower, but Chelsea is supposed to be here soon. There's food in the fridge if you get hungry," she told him, getting up and giving him a quick kiss before heading upstairs to her room. She shut the door and grabbed her outfit for this afternoon out of the closet, then picked out her clothes for tonight. She pulled her favorite jeans and dark gray boots out of the closet, along with a light gray v-neck and her navy blue pea coat. She had sent her white blouse to the cleaners to get the blood out of it, hoping they could save it. She knew she couldn't think about Fitz right now, so she thought about her press event for increasing funding for hospitals this afternoon as she got in the shower.

Jake continued playing with Teddy until Chelsea came up ten minutes later, tote bag on one arm and her purse on the other. Teddy ran over to her happily and hugged her leg before climbing on the couch and turning on one of his favorite shows.

"You done with your writing today, Ted?" Chelsea asked, taking off her sunglasses and setting her bags down.

"Uh huh," he nodded.

"Wanna show me?" She asked, and he ran to the kitchen table to show her his handwriting sheets for the day. He read everything he wrote to her and grabbed one of his books off the table and ran to Jake with it. She couldn't help but smile and Jake didn't mind Teddy reading to him.

"Deal is he has to show someone he's done his work for the day before he can watch TV. Much less work since it's the weekend, but nonetheless it's work. That's his favorite book," she told him. "Is Mellie upstairs?"

"Taking a shower," Jake said, and Chelsea nodded, going to the kitchen and going through Mellie's calendar for the week. Teddy continued reading his book to Jake, a story about a little fox who gets lost in the woods and has an adventure on his way back home. He finished it proudly a few minutes later and dragged Jake back to the couch to watch TV with him.

' _Teddy's pretty good. I could do this kid thing with Mels_ ,' Jake thought, despite his boredom with whatever kid's show Teddy had put on. He leaned back into the couch and his thoughts drifted to their date later, excited for the game. He wanted so badly to call her his girlfriend, to start a family with her, to spend the rest of his life with her. But he wasn't sure if she was ready for that, and he didn't want to be the one to rush her. So he would be content where he was for now.

* * *

Jake knocked on Mellie's door at six thirty, wearing gray straight leg jeans, his charcoal gray boots, white v-neck and his black leather jacket, excited to take them out. Will answered a few minutes later, dressed down to jeans, a button down, and a gray blazer for something different.

"They're still getting ready, sir," he told Jake as he walked inside. He saw Francis and Brian in the kitchen making coffee and was wearing the same thing as Will.

"Is anyone else coming along?" Jake asked.

"Three of us is plenty, Mr. Ballard. Francis and I have decided to take the SUV tonight," Will said, much to Jake's disappointment.

"Great," Jake said, hearing Mellie telling Teddy to change his clothes for the third time. He heard her boots hitting the hallway floor and go into his room, shutting the door behind her. They came downstairs together a few minutes later, Teddy finally dressed in his jeans and favorite shirt with a dump truck on it on. She had curled her hair and put on her favorite dark gray eye shadow and Jake couldn't help but smile. She looked great for having been at events all afternoon.

"You two look great," he smiled, giving both of them a hug. He gave Mellie a quick kiss on the cheek and she gave him a slightly scornful look. "Y'all ready to go?"

Teddy nodded and ran to the door, eager to get to the game. The agents followed them out door and to the car, hoping everything went smoothly tonight.

They got to the arena at seven ten and finally past security with the Secret Service, after much verification that they were the real deal. Will showed them to their seats and Teddy was so excited he could hardly be still. The lights, the music, the pre-game show, all of it was fascinating to him.

"These seats are great," Mellie leaned over and whispered into Jake's ear.

"They're pretty good for short notice," he smiled. "You want something to eat now or in a little bit?"

"Maybe in a little bit," she said. "Don't laugh when I tell you this, but I've never been to a basketball game before."

"Never?" He said in disbelief. "Not even a college game?"

"Nope. I think it's safe to say I'm excited," she laughed.

"Well that's good," he said, glad he could share this experience with her. "A first for you and Ted."

"That's right," she smiled as Teddy climbed into her lap. "I'm just hoping we don't get noticed."

"I think we'll be fine," he tried to assure her. The game started moments later, a thrill for all of them. They couldn't help but notice how focused Teddy was on the game. He seemed to take it all in, yelling and clapping every time someone scored.

Jake spent the rest of the night simply enjoying them, watching them enjoy themselves and seeing her relax again. It felt like time stopped when he saw her at ease, like nothing else in the world mattered at the moment. He hoped to make her feel comfortable as much as possible.

As they headed home later, Mellie sat in the backseat with a sleeping Teddy between her and Jake. He had worn himself out at the game and she was glad he would sleep good tonight. She looked over at Jake and smiled, and he wondered what was on her mind.

"We had a good time tonight," she whispered. "Thank you."

"So did I. We'll have to do it again," he said. He took her hand in his seconds later and she closed her eyes, feeling anxious and happy at the same time. She hated the way he messed with her emotions like this, and he didn't even have to try.

They pulled up at her house at eleven and she carried Teddy inside and to his bedroom, putting him to bed and giving him a good night kiss before going back downstairs. She saw Jake had brought her purse in and was waiting near the door for her while Will waited beside him.

"I sent the others home already. Do you need anything before I leave?" Will asked her obediently, and she knew he was ready to get home.

"No, I'm fine, thank you. I'll call you if I need you. Have a good night, Will," she told him, and he nodded, heading out the door and home for the night. It was just her and Jake now, and she was almost a little nervous right now.

"I wasn't trying to hang around or anything, I just wanted to say goodbye," he explained and she hated to see him leave so quickly.

"You can stay for a little bit if you want, I won't be going to be for a while anyway," she said, and she felt her Persian cat come up and rub her legs.

"This is Tiger. Somehow he's never been around when you've been over, but now he's decided to show up. He'll warm up to you fast," she smiled, and Jake leaned down to pet him. "You want something to drink?" She offered.

"No, I'm fine, thanks. Tiger is a very handsome kitty, aren't you?" He said, petting him once more. He didn't want to stay long; he was afraid of keeping her up too late.

She walked over to the couch and sat down with Tiger, and he immediately got in her lap, wanting attention. Jake took off his jacket and laid it across her recliner, then rolled his sleeves up and sat at the other end of the couch from her. Tiger kept a close eye on him, trying to figure out if he was ok to be around or not.

"He's beautiful," he said, watching her stroke his fur gently. "I never would've pegged you as a cat person."

"Most don't," she said, shaking her head with a smile. "Do you have any pets?"

"None for me," he held his hand up. "Never could get into that routine once I wasn't traveling or on a ship."

Tiger got up and wandered over onto Jake's lap, now leaving white cat hair all over both of them. Jake scratched behind his ears and petted him, finally getting him to lay down in his lap. As he petted the cat, Mellie noticed a fresh burn going up his arm, almost on top of his scar.

"When did that happen?" She asked, concerned.

"This morning. Gas station fire. I'm fine," he sighed, remembering the burning blaze.

"Where else did you get burned?" She asked, and he wished she would stop. He could handle this, just like he had every other time.

"Mellie, I promise you I am fine."

"That's not answering my question," she scolded him.

"On my back near my shoulders and my other arm," he said, admitting defeat.

"Put him down and let's go upstairs. I have some burn gel in my bathroom," she said, and he followed instructions.

He treaded up the stairs, wondering what her bedroom looked like. He had never thought about it too much, never even imagining he would get this far. He loved her more than she could imagine in the short amount of time they had spent together, but he knew she didn't quite feel the same. He didn't know if it was because of her hesitation of a new relationship, given her past with Fitz and the few other men she had been with. He didn't know if she was scared because he was somewhat of a stranger, he didn't know what her feelings were.

She opened her bedroom door and went straight to her bathroom to get the gel, but he was stuck in the doorway, taking it all in. He noticed the pure white carpet underneath his feet first, then the deep red painted walls. There was a quaint little lamp on her mahogany bedside table, with a dresser to match. He noticed her closet door in the corner was slightly open, and he wondered how big it was. Her queen sized bed was a darker shade mahogany with four posts almost reaching the ceiling and a hand carved headboard. He noticed it was taking her a minute in the bathroom, so he walked over to the doorway and looked inside.

He found her rummaging through all the drawers under the double sink and granite countertop. He noticed the large marble shower in the corner and the marble jacuzzi tub beside it, and he wasn't aware she was this high maintenance. He saw her lighted wooden vanity in the corner of the huge bathroom and he sighed.

"Need some help?" he offered.

"No, I know it's here somewhere. Let me look in one more drawer," she said, opening the last drawer and finding it laying right on top.

"Nice master suite you got here," he said, rolling up his shirt sleeves and leaning against the doorframe.

"It's too much, to be honest. I enjoyed the Residence at the White House, don't get me wrong. When Fitz bought the property, he tore down the existing house and had this built from the ground up. He thought I would like everything to be over the top and fancy, but I'm just fine without all this. I've never found the time to redecorate," she said. She cleaned up the mess she had made and shut the drawers, and she followed him out into the bedroom. He stood near the foot of her bed and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, noticing her French manicure in the process.

"Ok," he said.

"I can't get any on your back with your shirt on," she said, taking the cap off the tube.

"I'll pull my collar down."

"Jake, you are not the first naked man I've ever seen. I know what you look like. It'll be ok," she told him, and he sighed, unbuttoning his shirt. He took it off in silence, setting it on the bed, and she knew then why he was hesitant about taking it off.

He was ashamed of his scars.

The seemingly small scar on his hand ran all the way up his arm and across his chest. It ran deep, deep enough to cause nerve damage, she suspected. His arms, shoulders, and right side were burned and discolored. Some were fresh, some were still healing.

She squeezed some of the burn gel into her hand and rubbed it gently on his tough body, and she could feel him tense up and cringe with every stroke of her hand.

"Why didn't you go to the ER?" She asked, and he sighed deeply.

"I honestly didn't know it was this bad. It was me and a few other guys, and I've gotten burned before, but it was nothing major," he explained. "If it's worse in the morning, I'll go out to our base and see our doctor there."

"Deal. But at least let me put some cold cloths on you before you leave. The burns still have a lot of heat in them," she said, wiping her hands on a towel and taking the cream back to the bathroom. She came back and went into her small walk in closet and changed into jeans and one of her campaign shirts. She sat on the bed beside a shirtless Jake and wondered how they even got here. They sat in silence for a minute and she touched his deep scar, and he felt nothing.

"How did it happen?" She asked quietly, and he laid back on the bed and she followed suit.

"Five years ago, I was still flying. My plane at the time was an F/A 18 Hornet. I was the main fighter pilot on duty for the next week. I was based off the coast of France at the time, and things had been quiet. I took her up, made my rounds, and saw nothing of suspicion," he said.

"But that Thursday...that Thursday in August was different. It was overcast that day, real gloomy. I still got orders to go up at five a.m., but I wasn't worried. I knew the radar would still pick up enemy planes. I began my rounds, securing the border airspace, just like any other day. I was thankful for no action lately, even though it was boring," he continued, his emotions starting to show. He closed his eyes and his hands lay across his abdomen, his breathing slowing down.

"I glance over at my radar and see another jet nearby, moving incredibly slow for a fighter jet. My base radioed in with all these code words, so fast I couldn't keep up, I was in such a panic. But I heard one specific one - Randy - and I knew I was in trouble. That was our code word for a Russian enemy plane, and he started coming up on me, fast as he could. He took a nosedive and a hard right, and I tried to lose him. He was still on my tail, and I radioed back after getting many commands. I was in such a panic, my heart was beating fast, my palms sweating. They told me to go straight up, back into the clouds to lose him, then head back to the base. So I pulled straight up, as hard as I could, the air pressure hurting my ears. I look back at my radar as soon as I get into the clouds, and I don't see him. I decide to play it safe, my mind still going a million miles an hour, and coast this out for a minute. Next thing I hear is this huge boom, and seconds later, the plane is shaking and all my alarms are going off," he said shakily, wiping his eyes and sitting up quickly. His breathing was quick and shallow, and he got nervous.

"I look to my right," he sighed, turning towards Mellie and looking in her eyes. "And the right wing is gone. Thick, black smoke is pouring out, I hear shouting over my radio, and all I can think is, 'Stay up, stay up'. I tried keeping the plane up but felt it going down fast. Another boom went off, and I tried hard to dodge it. The missile got lodged in the back of the tail, saving my life. The enemy plane went off the radar and I was glad, but still wondering if I was going to make it out or not. My captain was just telling me to hold out, that I was going to make it. To land in an open space, that they would get there to me. I took a second and asked God to keep me alive, and after that, it all went downhill. I saw what was left of the wing was on fire, and I felt the blaze coming in as the ground got closer and closer. In a panic, I hit the eject button and it didn't work. It _didn't_ work and I swear, in that moment, I almost had a heart attack. The roof wouldn't open, and the next thing I knew, I crashed. The impact shook me, it tore up the plane. I felt the heat form the flames reaching me. I held my breath and the next thing I felt was a deep digging in my arm, moving, tearing, ripping all my muscles and shattering my bones. It felt like it wouldn't stop, and when the smoke cleared, I opened my eyes. Glass and metal shards surrounded me, and I couldn't feel much, mainly because I was in shock. But I looked over and saw my arm, and it was a metal pole, a piece of the framing, deep in my bicep. It had literally torn straight down the middle through my arm. Another piece of shrapnel was lodged in my chest, but not nearly as deep. I couldn't move my arm by itself, and I had to start working to get myself out with one arm. My hand was full of glass, and probably within fifteen minutes my advisors from the base were there, digging me out."

They said nothing for a moment, taking in everything he had just said. It was a shock. To them both. He shuddered as he remembered being carried to the ambulance that sunny day.

"I had four rods, three plates, and four screws put in my arm, and some of the bones healed a couple months later. There was significant irreversible nerve damage. It was a lot of therapy, but I still can't always steady my hands and I have severe muscle spasm in my arm, therefore I'm not allowed to fly and launch missiles. So I received an honorable discharge from the service. I was on disability while I did therapy, I traveled a little bit. A couple months later, the local office called and said they had a spot open and wanted me as their head recruiter. So I said yes, and here I am today," he said with a smile, looking at her as she sat up.

"Well, now that I've told my story, you want to tell yours?" He joked, looking into her deep blue eyes and she grinned, tucking a strand of her soft brown hair behind her ear.

"I don't think there's enough time in the world," she half laughed, shaking her head.

"All I have is time," he said softly with a reassuring smile. "If you want to tell me, that is."

"I'll tell you more one day," she promised him. "Anything specific you want to know now?" She crossed her legs and rested her hands in her lap.

"Where did you come from?"

"Nashville, originally. Moved to California with Fitz, then D.C. I go back when I can," she explained. "So why haven't you left D.C., gone somewhere better, gotten away from here?"

"I saw enough of the world while on duty. I enjoy the stability of it," he explained.

"Any more questions, Mr. Ballard?" She asked, with a smile.

The smile forming on Jake's face told her something was up.

"I'm just trying to figure out where, I guess, along this road you became who you are today. Because you are simply amazing. I've never seen anyone so passionate about what they stand for, so strong in their beliefs and values, someone who will get the job done and done right and not let anyone get in their way. But also someone who has so much to offer and love everyone along the way and help others. Someone so madly and deeply loving, someone who gives their all into everything they do. That's you, Mellie, and you are amazing," Jake smiled, and she could feel her cheeks turning pink. They were so comfortable around each other, but this was the first time he had flattered her so much.

"Jake, I don't...you're too sweet," she laughed. "You think too highly of me."

"I don't think so," he smiled, seeing so much more of her than she saw in herself.

"You want some ice now?" She asked, and he got up, shrugging his shoulders.

"Why not?" He said, following her downstairs to the kitchen. She grabbed some plastic bags out of the cabinet and filled them with ice cubes, then grabbed some hand towels and led him to the living room.

"Just lay down on the couch or the floor or wherever you're comfortable," she said, wrapping the bags in towels as he stretched out on her gray leather couch. She laid the cold bags across his burned body, hoping it would give him some relief. She sat in the chair beside the couch so she could talk to him, and he turned his head towards her.

"So, since you won't tell me anything about yourself right now, what do you like to do in your free time?" He questioned, needing to know more about this intriguing woman.

"What free time?" She teased. "Honestly, I'm still getting used to having free time now. It's been a few months, but it's still strange. I'm not used to it. I like to decorate and do hair and gosh, what else? I don't even know. I've been doing events and political rallies and campaigns in my free time for so long, I don't know what I like doing anymore," she laughed. "Some interesting person I am."

"Do you like cooking?"

"Somewhat."

"Hunting?"

"I haven't gone in years," she smiled. "I loved hunting when I was a little girl."

"You own any guns?" He asked, figuring he knew the answer. She scoffed and got up, walking over to the closet by the front door. She opened it and pulled out six guns, four pistols and two rifles, and took them over to show Jake.

"Do I own any guns," she laughed as he picked each of them up, examining them closely before setting them back down.

"I feel extremely safe in your house. We'll have to go hunting," he smiled. "Anything else you want to do?"

"I want to start going to see the kids from the charity house a few times a week," she confessed. "Seeing them makes me so happy. Karen barely has anything to do with Fitz or I anymore. She calls on the rare occasion she needs money. I took him to court over Teddy, our case got bumped up, and I was about to have custody when Fitz said I didn't want to really move forward with this. He told me he was going to tell the public that I had had an affair too, that it was _me_ who let Karen run wild, and how I never took care of Teddy. I knew he was evil, but I didn't know he was this cruel, cruel enough to lie to the people. I walked away with tears in my eyes and promised Teddy I would come back every chance I got. So I go see him every chance I get. Watching him take my child away from me and know I could do nothing about it was the hardest thing I've ever done," she said, her voice cracking at tears filled her bright blue eyes. She began wiping her eyes when Jake got up and let the bags fall to the floor. He sat down on the carpet beside her and took her into his warm arms, trying to comfort her. He reassured her everything would work out for the better and that she still got to see Teddy, which was good.

He looked at the clock on the white wall - 10:47 p.m. - and back at Mellie.

"Do you want to go to bed?" He asked softly, stroking her hair, and she said yes. He stood up and scooped her up into his arms, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He carried her upstairs to her bedroom and laid her down gently on her bed and pulled back the covers for her.

"Let's get changed," he said, unfolding her pajamas and she gave him a look.

"What?" He asked, unsure of what was up.

"You're going to watch me change?"

"No, I mean, I won't. I just wanted to help you, but I can leave-"

"Just turn around at least," she said, and he smiled, turning around and crossing his arms. She quickly changed into her favorite sweatpants and dark gray tank top and walked over to her dresser to put her hair up.

"You want a t-shirt to change into? It's gotta be more comfortable than that fancy button down," She asked him, putting her hair up in a loose bun, and going through her drawers to find him a shirt. She pulled out a navy blue one and handed it to him.

"It's one of Will's, don't worry about bringing it back. He's got plenty here. I sneak one out of the guest room every now and then," she admitted, watching him put it on.

She laid back down on the bed and he took his shoes off, leaving them over by the door. He laid beside her and pulled the covers over her, gently stroking her hand as she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

"I really enjoyed tonight," she said softly. "It was nice to just hang out. I haven't done that in forever."

"It was," he smiled, realizing he enjoyed every second with her, no matter how they spent it.

"It's still weird to me...not living in the White House, not be obligated to attend events and parties just to help Fitz look good. I miss parts of it, but I've never felt so free and like such a fool at the same time," she sighed, keeping her beautiful eyes shut.

"You're not a fool," Jake said, rubbing her soft arm now. "Why would you say that?"

"I stood there and watched him whore around with some young girl and didn't do anything to stop it. I couldn't if I wanted to stay in the White House. I had to be the good wife and keep my mouth shut and look pretty for the cameras while my life crumbled to pieces," she said quietly, wiping the tears running down her face.

"I don't think that makes you a fool," he assured her. "Look at me," he said quietly.

She opened her tired eyes and looked into his, and she felt relief wash over her cold body.

"You did what needed to be done. If he had truly loved you, he would've stood up for your marriage and left her in a heartbeat for you. You are not a fool. You're brave, Mellie. I admire you immensely for that," he told her, giving her a little smile. She couldn't help but smile upon seeing his bright teeth and she sighed quietly.

"Jake?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you stay here tonight? With me? Please?" She asked, really wanting him to stay. She was lonely, almost broken tonight and didn't want him to go.

"Of course," he said, about to get up and go downstairs when she stopped him.

"I meant stay in here with me," she said, and he got under the covers with her. She immediately snuggled up to his warm body and he put his arms around her.

She didn't care if anyone knew he was here. She didn't care if someone saw him leaving in the morning. She didn't care that this would be in the papers.

She was just glad to be with a friend.


	5. I Can't Even

**A/N:** Things are beginning to escalate quickly for Mellie…how will she handle it? Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave a review! I love seeing what you have to say after reading.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

"Mels..." Jake said softly Sunday morning, the sun already shining brightly at ten a.m. He could do this every morning and it would never get old. They didn't need fancy dates or cameras or anything. They just needed some time to relax, and decided to do it together.

"Hmm?" She turned towards him, pulling the covers closer to her chin.

"Thank you for letting me stay here," he whispered, kissing her forehead. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, loving being with him.

' _He means nothing by that kiss. He's just your friend,_ ' she thought.

"Thank _you_ ," she said. "We both needed it."

They laid their in silence, taking in each other's sleepy faces as the sun shone in through the cracks of the blinds above her bed.

"Can I...ask you something?" She whispered so low he almost couldn't hear her. He nodded with a look of concern in his hazel eyes.

"Why do...why have you hung around, besides the few times I've asked? I know my people chose you as an escort. That was nothing personal, I had nothing to do with it. I just...I need to know you're here as a friend, for the right reasons. Not for the money, not to sell my secrets, not to hurt me," she said. She knew it was stupid to think this _after_ letting him spend the night, but she needed to know.

"Mellie, I swear on my _life_ that I wouldn't hurt you. The only things I know about you besides what you've told me is what has been in the news. Nothing more. I was nervous when your assistant called our office and said she wanted me to escort _you_ , the junior senator of Virginia, former First Lady of the United States, to a charity dinner. You seemed so calm, so...put together. You were inspiring. I jumped the gun and spontaneously asked you out on a date, wondering afterwards what the hell I was thinking. I'm glad you agreed. So no, I will not hurt you. I won't sell your secrets," he sighed.

"Ok," she whispered, and he saw relief in her eyes. "Do you have any plans for today?"

"Whatever you want to do," he said. "We could go ride around town."

"I need to go get some of Teddy's things from Fitz's. The lawyer sent me an email and said it would be best if he stayed with me for the time being," she said.

"I think that's a good idea," he said, glad Teddy wasn't left alone with Fitz. "Do you need me to help?"

"Fitz will try to start something regardless. Could we take your truck?" She asked, not wanting him and Fitz to go at it.

"Yeah, of course," he said.

"We'll go once we get ready and I get Teddy up," she said. "I'll go make some coffee."

She got up out of bed and went down to the kitchen, and Jake smiled, following her downstairs.

* * *

"We gonna see Daddy?" Teddy asked as they pulled up to the White House later that afternoon. Jake slowed up behind the agents in the SUV in front of them as they got to security, and Mellie handed him her permanent pass.

"We might see him. We gotta get some of your clothes and toys to take to my house," she said. "You're going to stay with me a little while longer."

"Will I go to the same school?" He asked, concerned about missing learning to read, arts and crafts, and recess.

"Of course, baby," she told him, waving at Morris as they went by. They pulled up into their designated parking lot, and she got out with Teddy. Jake got out and stood at the back of the truck, knowing he shouldn't overstep any boundaries.

"I'll stay out here and help load," he said, letting the tailgate down. She knew he was upset.

"Jake, you know I want you to help. I want to make sure he doesn't start anything with you is all," she said.

"I know. I just wish he could get past his feelings and be mature," he said. "Go on in," he nodded towards the door. Mellie took Teddy into her arms and went inside with Will and Francis.

She was gathering his clothes from his closet while Will and Francis got some of his toys when Fitz came in.

"Don't forget his blanket and his bath toys," he said, going over to his bed and picking up his blanket with pictures of dump trucks on it. He went into his son's bathroom and came back with a basket of small toys, mainly ships and action figures, and handed them both to Mellie. She saw the hurt in his eyes and his face looked awful. His cheek and nose were still swollen and various shades of purple, black, and brown.

"We read one of his train books every night," Fitz said quietly, crossing his arms. "He knows them all by heart."

"So do we," she told him. She knew he was feeling guilty and sad to see his son go.

"That's good," he whispered, genuinely upset his son was being taken away from him. Will and Francis came back from taking the clothes to the truck and were surprised to see Fitz talking to Mellie.

"It's ok," Mellie told them. "Give us a minute alone?"

Both of them nodded and Mellie handed them Teddy's blanket and toys, then exited the room. Fitz sighed, hating himself right now.

"I'm sorry. About the other night. How...how are your wrists?" He asked, putting his hands in his jeans pockets to try to stop them from shaking. She pulled up her shirt sleeves and took off her bandages to show him her bruised, wounded wrists. He could still clearly see where he had dug his fingernails deep into her flesh, breaking the skin. He felt like a monster.

"I am _so_ sorry," he said tears coming to his eyes. "I hurt you and I deserve to look like this. I can't seem to do anything right."

"Your 'saying sorry' lost its meaning about four punches ago, Fitz. I got used to this abuse. This is nothing new. Just please, please promise me you won't treat Olivia like this. Do _not_ hurt that innocent girl," she said sternly, trying to mask her emotions.

"I won't," he whispered, wiping his eyes. He couldn't even look her in the eyes right now. "Just...I know you'll do a good job with him. All I can seem to do is push my kids away, so keep him close to you," he told her. She said nothing, not wanting to hear his pity party.

"Would you like to see your son before we go?" She asked coldly, and he nodded, following her out to the parking lot where Teddy had gone ten minutes ago to play with Jake. They were sitting the backseat of his truck with the doors open, playing with some of his superhero action figures. Fitz's eyes immediately locked on the retired Navy veteran tags on his truck and wondered who it belonged to. Mellie walked over to the open door and Jake's eyes met hers.

"Daddy wants to see you," Mellie told her son, and he quickly set down his toys and climbed out of the truck. He ran into Fitz's arms and hugged him tightly, and Mellie hated for it to have to be like this. She didn't want Teddy to have to be away from his father, no matter how much she disliked Fitz. Jake picked up the toys and put them all back in the box they came in, then got out and shut the door. He walked around to the driver's side and got in, ready to go when they were. He wanted to avoid Fitz at all costs. He was afraid he would punch him in the face if he saw him. Will stood near Mellie while Francis finished loading up some of Teddy's things in the SUV. He was just as nervous as Jake was. He could feel the tension in the air.

"Will we still play hide and seek?" Teddy asked Fitz, concerned that their not being together would hurt their relationship.

"Of course, Ted. You'll still get to come visit. We'll still play hide and seek and make pillow forts and read. You be good for Mama, ok?" Fitz asked, kneeling on the ground by his son.

"Ok," Teddy said, still not entirely sure why he had to go live with Mellie.

"Bye, Teddy. I love you," Fitz said, giving him another hug before letting him go back to Mellie.

"I love you, Daddy," he said, hugging his neck and running back to his mother. She picked him up and buckled him in his car seat, then shut the door as the guys started up both vehicles.

"Goodbye, Fitz," Mellie said, walking past him to the passenger side of the truck.

"Bye," he said sadly as she got in and they both drove off. Tears came to his eyes as he watched his son leave, probably to never come back.

He didn't know choosing Olivia would have such dire consequences.

* * *

 _To fall is unacceptable_

 _Cause everything you've been through made you stronger_

 _And every day you learn about yourself_

 _And nothing really played out how it's supposed to /_

Mellie sat quietly on Jake's couch early one chilly March morning, being awfully quiet for them having a day full of activities planned. She enjoyed spending time away from her house, her worries. They planned on going hunting and walking around downtown and baking today. But she had a lot of other things on her mind that day.

"You look nice," he said, noticing her dark blue skinny jeans, white and brown plaid shirt with a brown vest to match, and brown boots on.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"Penny for your thoughts," Jake said, walking over to her and handing her a cup of hot coffee. He was wearing his worn out, dark yet faded jeans and a red based plaid shirt. He sat down beside her and could tell something was heavy on her heart. She didn't say anything for a minute, closing her eyes briefly, remembering that night so well...

* * *

 _'Let's not go. I don't want to go. I feel…I don't want to go,'_ She pleaded, taking Fitz's hand as they sat outside his birthday party in the limo. But he wouldn't listen. The agent outside opened his door and he gave her a disgusted look. She had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach about tonight.

 _'We can't always get what we want, can we?'_ He said as he got out of the car, leaving her no choice but to follow him.

* * *

"Mels?"

"Don't you see the date?" She sighed, now annoyed, remembering that feeling of fear that washed over her that night, the fear of not knowing if she or Fitz or Teddy would make it out alive. Not knowing if she would ever see her husband alive again.

"It's March 18th," Jake said, trying to piece it together. He ran over every event in his mind that he remembered her attending while at the White House, but nothing stuck with March.

"The third anniversary of Fitz's assassination attempt," she said softly, tears coming to her eyes.

* * *

' _Falcon down! Falcon down!_ ' The agent yelled out, and the next thing Mellie knew was she was lying on the cold concrete beneath their feet, her beautiful gown now covered in her husband's warm blood. Two agents shielded her with their bodies as she tried to see where Fitz was. But she knew he was already gone when she noticed the limo wasn't there anymore. Once the bullets stopped flying, two agents went to go see about Britta Kagen, who was already dead. Four more went to get the car. The two got the all clear to get up, and they immediately tended to Mellie. She sat up and they sat beside her on the ground, waiting for the car to come.

' _How is Fitz? Is he alive? Where did he get shot?'_ She asked as they checked her over for wounds. ' _I'm fine, how is he?'_

' _Ma'am, gunshot wounds can happen and the victim not even know it right away because of the adrenaline_ ,' one agent said.

 _'I didn't get shot, I asked **how is my husband**!'_ She demanded as the other started trying to wipe the blood splatter off her face. She looked down at her hand and was shocked at the amount of blood she saw; she hoped Fitz wasn't as bad off as she expected.

He stopped and listened to the commotion in his earpiece and answered back.

' _10-4, Foxtail is clear, coming your way,_ ' he spoke into his wrist, and looked back at Mellie.

' _They just got him to the hospital. Three gunshot wounds. One in the side, one in the shoulder, one in the head. They're trying to stabilize him for surgery,'_ he explained. She nodded her head, still in shock, still in fear. Her husband had just been shot three times.

' _Are you ok?_ ' He asked her, checking her pulse and vision. He could tell she was out of it right now, the way she hyperventilated and looked around to make sure everyone was ok. Her heart was still beating fast and she wished they would leave her alone.

' _I'm fine_ ,' she said, following his finger with her eyes. The light was bright enough to hurt her eyes.

' _Are you sure? No scratches? How's the baby?'_

 _'I said I'm fine_ ,' she growled. ' _Please, just let me see Fitz. I need to see him._ '

She wasn't thinking of herself. She wasn't thinking about the baby. All she had on her mind was Fitz.

* * *

"I cannot even imagine," Jake whispered, seeing the pain in her eyes.

"I won't ever be able to get that sound out my mind," she said. "The look on his face, his blood all over my dress, the Secret Service pushing me to the ground, the limo speeding away...it's all forever burned into my mind."

* * *

' _Someone shot my husband! You need to check on him!_ ' She demanded of the doctor seeing about her in the ER, slapping his hand away from her arm. ' _He is the one dying here, not me!'_

' _Ma'am, I would like to do an ultrasound and give you a sedative-'_

' _I am **fine**! I don't need anything, I need to see Fitz! I need to call my children_ ,' she said, tears streaming down her face. ' _Please. I just need to know he's alive.'_

The doctor took off his bloodied gloves he had on while cleaning up her arms and looked her in the eyes.

' _I'll try my best to let you see him right now. I have to warn you, he's in pretty bad shape and it'll be a lot to take in. He has more monitors and wires plugged up to him than you could ever imagine,_ ' he explained. She nodded and took his hand, following him and one of her agents to the next trauma curtain. A lot of orders were being spouted off and he slightly pulled back the curtain, letting her and her agent in and he followed behind her.

He could see the shock on her face as said laid eyes on Fitz. His strong body was now torn and frail, the wounds in his side and shoulder bleeding and stuffed with gauze, his forehead wrapped, heart monitors on him, breathing tubes in his throat. They were doing CPR again as she walked in. She couldn't begin to process his physical state. Here he was dying from three gunshot wounds while she walked away scot-free. Her heart sunk and she burst into tears, holding on to her agent. She cried into his chest and he held her close, rubbing her back as they shocked Fitz back to life.

' _He's stable, OR 4_ ,' the doctor said, and the nurses wheeled him away. Mellie watched her husband be taken away and wondered if he would come back dead or alive. They walked back to her curtain with her and talked her into lying down for a little while, long enough to check her out. He saw nothing wrong past her still being in shock, and that would soon pass. He still wanted to sedate her, but he knew that would be a long shot.

* * *

"Watching him almost die and me and everyone else walk away...I risked everything for him, and what do I get? A divorce," she laughed, not believing this.

"Were you ever scared of getting shot even after the Secret Service cleared everything again?"

"Of course," she said. "Someone could've been waiting around any corner to kill me that night. No one knew why Fitz, why a shooting. We just feared who was next," she trembled as she spoke.

* * *

Mellie sat in a waiting room by herself, guarded by the Secret Service, at one a.m. Her hair was still up and her blood stained gown still on. Her agent's jacket was around her for warmth and a barely touched dinner plate sat on the coffee table beside her. Come nine-thirty after things slowed down and Fitz was officially back in surgery, she couldn't rest. The doctor checked her back over and said it was still symptoms of shock. Her heart was beating rapidly and the baby was more restless than usual, so he gave her a small dose of a sedative to calm her down. She slept for an hour or so and woke up feeling refreshed, so she came to sit and wait on some news. She called the kids and told them of the news, and that the Secret Service had Air Force One on the way to bring them home. Karen and Jerry knew if she was _bringing_ them home, things weren't looking good.

She wondered how he was doing. It had been three and a half hours since she had seen him. No sooner than she looked up, she saw Olivia come in.

' _Is he dead?_ ' She asked, not wanting his girlfriend in her presence. She was too shook up, too worried, too busy to deal with her right now.

* * *

Tears fell down her face and she quickly wiped her tired eyes. This day would always be one of the worst of her life.

"Mellie..." Jake whispered. "What do I need to do for you?"

She sighed, looking him in the eyes. There was nothing they could do to make her life any better. He would always be a part of it.

"Get rid of him," she laughed, finishing her now cold coffee.

"Ok," he said in a serious tone.

"What? Jake, there's no way we could get rid of him. He's the president, for crying out loud. You and I both know neither of us wants to go to federal prison for the rest of our lives," she said, surprised he believed her.

"There's always a way if you want it bad enough," he assured her with a certain look in his eyes, one that came deep from within him.

' _There's always a way_ ,' she thought. It was like a slap in the face.

She had thought this over. What did she have left in this life? Her parents were gone, her husband was gone from her, her oldest son was gone. Karen turned eighteen and changed her name, no longer in contact to either Fitz or Mellie. They agreed to send the Service after her, at the very least to watch out for her, but she refused them every time. So they've lost their daughter. Fitz had Olivia. She didn't have anyone.

All she had left was Teddy.

The divorce had drained her. It still did. She would drink her nights away, wondering how she got here. She would fall asleep, sometimes wishing she wouldn't wake up so she wouldn't have to face this world again. Fitz had taken everything good in her life away. She had loved him with everything she had for almost twenty years, she gave him three children, she gave up her life to help him build his, and he divorced her. None of it meant anything to him.

She had nothing left, so what did she have to lose?

"I have a meeting at the White House at eight tonight. It's for his birthday party. Sounds like maybe dinner and a few drinks. Not many people there. Olivia was kind enough to make sure I was invited, not that I want to go. Not that _he_ wants me there. I'll never hear the end of it if I don't, though," she said. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear, even after turning off the security cameras with her phone, just wanting to be safe.

"I want to watch him suffer. I want to see him _dead_ ," she whispered in the most serious voice. He pulled away and looked into her eyes; all he saw was commitment.

"You want to be the one to do this? You're sure?" He asked.

"I have sat back for long enough and watch my life pass by, slip between my fingers because of him," she said angrily. "I'm done with it."

He took a deep breath and knew he would stand by her, no matter what. He loved her.

"Let's go for a drive and you can tell me more," he suggested, and they ran out to his truck, wasting no more time.


	6. Mark My Words

**A/N:** Just to clarify, in this story Jake has never met Olivia or anyone he's associated with on the show. True feelings come out in this chapter. Please feel free to leave a review and thanks for reading.

I probably won't get to update again until Monday or Tuesday, so I apologize in advance!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

"Are you worried about getting caught?" Jake asked Mellie as they rode around town in his truck. He knew she was serious when she mentioned getting rid of Fitz. He would help her in any way he could, but he needed to know she wasn't afraid.

"Not at all," she said, her voice straightforward as her facial expression.

"You know how when, as a soldier, you have to kill someone and try to block it out of your mind? How you're trained to feel nothing? How you sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened, hoping that side, that former life will never come back to haunt you? _That is my life_ , Jake. This is just one more thing to add to the list. If the world knew of the things I have seen in go on in that White House...it would never be the same," she said bluntly.

"Do you have any plan on how to do it? I guess a better question would be do you want me to help?" He asked, trying to get her to tell him something, anything about how she was going to get away with this.

"Chloroform, etorphine," she said. "Nothing painful."

"And you can get your hands on these without getting in trouble?" He asked, wanting to make sure she didn't damage her reputation.

"I can get the chloroform. Still working on the etorphine."

"Don't worry about it. Let me make a quick phone call and I can go get it ASAP," Jake said, pulling out his phone and calling a friend.

"Wait," he said, it dawning on him then. "What about cocaine?"

"What about it?" Mellie asked, still wondering how he could get ahold of these drugs.

"He took painkillers when he was shot, right?"

"Of course," she said, wondering exactly where he was going with this.

"Cocaine is also used as a numbing agent," he smiled with a look of satisfaction and discovery in his eyes as he called a friend.

"Hey, meet me in an hour. I need five doses," Jake said, hanging up.

"And you're sure you're not crazy?" Mellie asked, starting to wonder about him a little.

"I'm just helping you out. You meet all sorts of people in the Navy. I try to keep in touch with all of them. Sometimes it comes in handy," he shrugged with a smile.

Now she just had to mentally prepare herself to do this.

* * *

"Mel, if you don't think you can do this...if you don't want this burden...we'll figure something else out," Jake assured her as she sat on her bed in a daze, wondering if she could live with herself after this. She was losing faith in herself. He sat on his knees in the floor in front of her, holding her hands. He had made sure all of her cameras were off and no one could be listening to them. They couldn't risk this.

Fitz had taken everything, every part of her life away from her. Every hope and dream crushed in the blink of an eye. She had to get rid of him. She couldn't live with him any longer.

"I can do this," she said, standing up. "Just show me where I need to inject him."

Jake got up and went over to his small black duffel bag and dug around in it, pulling out a new syringe and taking his his plaid shirt off, walking over to her. Her gaze was set on his body, only until she heard him pull the cap off the needle and hand it to her. She had a look of fear in her eyes and he explained to her he wouldn't get hurt.

"It won't hurt me. I promise. I just want to show you exactly where to stick him," he said, "because you can't miss. If you miss...it's all over. And that could get messy."

Her eyes widened and he sighed.

"It's got to be right here," he said, pointing to the main vein in his neck. "By the time you get to this, he'll be passed out. He won't feel anything."

"Do you want me to actually stick you or...?" She asked, still nervous about it.

"Go ahead. It's a brand new clean needle, it's fine," he smiled a little.

She situated the needle in her handle and got it close to his neck when he stopped her abruptly.

"Mellie, stop," he said sternly. "You're shaking too much. You _have_ to steady yourself. Take a deep breath and try again."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, calming her nerves. She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want Fitz to suffer, either. She aimed for the vein with a steady hand and quickly stuck him, just looking into his eyes.

"Now pull it out," he said. She pulled it out slowly and he sighed.

"You hit the vein, which is good. Now we need to practice drawing up the dose," he said, getting a small vial of saline out of his bag.

"But aren't you going to have it already drawn up?" She asked, hoping deep down she wouldn't have to do that. She was already nervous. She would really mess it up then.

"I will. But you need to know these things for the future, in case I'm not there with you," he said. He showed her how to draw it up, make sure all the air was out of the needle, and how fast to inject it.

He put his shirt back on, unfortunate for her, and grabbed his half charged phone beside his bag.

"Look, I have to go get the cocaine. I'll be back in half an hour or less. I know you have to be there in two hours. Go ahead and start getting ready, I'll see you when I get back," he told her, grabbing his car keys.

"Ok. Thank you, Jake," she said, a feeling of relief overcoming her, like a huge pressure was lifted off her lungs so she could now breathe. "I could never repay you for this. Be safe."

"Don't worry about it. And I will," he said, going downstairs and out the door to get the drugs.

* * *

Mellie was wearing her best khakis with a white bra on and her damp brown hair resting on her shoulders as she looked through her closet for a nice shirt to wear. She had an hour left to get ready, and part of that was the mental challenge. She was not about to put on a fancy dress for a casual event, especially not for Fitz.

She heard the back door open and Jake coming up the stairs, and she grabbed a short sleeved lavender blouse and a gray sweater out of the closet.

"I'm back," Jake said, grabbing a package out of his jacket pocket. He set it on the bed and opened it, and found five vials of liquid cocaine in them. He knew this was enough to take out a roomful of people, but he only needed a little bit.

"How much do I owe you?" Mellie asked, putting her blouse on and turning her curling iron on to heat up. He watched her every move as she went to the closet and pulled out some purple heels, which was surprising to him. He didn't expect her to own every shade of shoes available.

"Don't worry about it," he said, really not wanting to take money from her. In reality, he didn't want to tell her he just dropped $5000 on this.

"Jake-"

" _No_ ," he said, taking out two needles and drawing up seven milliliters, and she gave him a concerned look.

"How much is lethal?" She asked, putting on a diamond bracelet the president of Switzerland had gotten her for her birthday last year. Her eyes were fixated on the drug, all of this slowly becoming a reality, eating away at her.

"It depends on the batch. No two batches are alike. They all are different strengths," he said, putting the vial down and the caps on the needles, setting it on the bed. "Less than this."

"How much money is that worth?" She asked again.

"Mellie, I refuse to let you pay me for this."

"I just want to know how much it is," she fought back, putting in her matching diamond earrings. He lost himself in her beauty for a moment, wishing he had more time to spend with her.

"I don't know how much my guy got it for. He just told me this was high quality stuff," he told her. "I'm leaving it right here. What else do I need to do for you?"

"Get the chloroform ready," she said, sitting down at her vanity to do her hair. "It's on the bathroom counter."

Jake walked in the bathroom and came out with a full glass bottle of chloroform and set it down on the bed, getting an empty vial out of his bag.

"Where did you get a bottle this big?" He asked casually, taking the cap off the bottle. "You know it's illegal except for doctors here in the U.S."

"Living in the White House had its perks," she smirked, brushing her hair and plugging up her hair dryer. "Funny how the Secret Service can get their hands on these things," she smiled and turned on the hair dryer.

He laughed softly and poured a small amount of the sweet smelling liquid in the vial, then capped it and set it on the bed with a cloth by the needle. He looked at his watch and knew he needed to get his gear on and be at the fire department when she leaves. His station was closest to the White House and the one to be called there in case of an emergency. This way he could keep an eye on her.

She finished drying her hair and he sat down on her soft bed, ready for this to all be over with.

"What was your excuse for the chloroform?" He questioned, wondering how she got it so easily.

"PTSD. Couldn't sleep after the shooting, sleeping pills weren't working. The doctor wouldn't do anything else, so an agent got this for me. Worked like a charm," she said, twisting a strand of hair around her hot curling iron. She began to wonder where Jake had all these connections, where he was so easily able to obtain drugs. She didn't want to get into it right now, so she decided to ask him later.

"Interesting," he sighed. "Look, I have to go get ready myself. But you call me if you have to, ok? I know you can do this. At least get to the chloroform. You can back out of the cocaine if needed. I know you can do this, Mel. I love you," Jake whispered, kissing her forehead.

She nodded and managed to whisper "I love you" back, watching him leave her house. She put on her sweater and finished her hair, ready to get this over with.

* * *

Mellie was more nervous than she'd ever been, more nervous than public speaking events made her, as she sat at the dinner table for Fitz's birthday. She was across from him, Olivia was beside him, and Cyrus, Abby, and five of his other close friends surrounded him. She might have been nervous, but she was poised on the outside.

This dinner had lasted close to two hours, and he hadn't even looked at his gifts yet. Most people wondered what to get the President, but Mellie got him a brand new Swiss watch, brown leather band and gold encrusted, his name engraved on the back - something she knew he would like and use. He loved expensive watches, but usually stuck to one when he found one he liked.

They were about to serve dessert, which would be warm apple pie - his favorite - with a side of vanilla ice cream. Something no one else at this table besides Cyrus and herself knew. That was one thing she had over Olivia, she knew Fitz like the back of her hand, what he liked and what he didn't. He hated wearing green or yellow, he got a haircut every four weeks, he would read for an hour before bed. These were the little things she would never forget about him.

She started wondering if she could do this. Could she really kill her own husband? She wasn't a crazed killer. She wasn't sure anymore. But she had to get rid of him if she wanted to be free. He hated her. After all their years of true love, as short as it was, it meant nothing to him once he met Olivia. She didn't even touch her dessert and was only brought back to earth when Fitz was about to dismiss the party.

"Well this has been wonderful, but I think I'm about to turn in for the night. It has been one eventful birthday," he laughed, looking at Olivia with a smile. Everyone else began saying their goodbyes and Mellie stayed in her seat until Cyrus was the last one and left.

"Fitz, I know I'm not your favorite person, but I was wondering if we could talk for a minute in the residence?" Mellie asked softly. He sighed under his breath and turned to Olivia.

"Give us a minute, baby?" He asked, hating to disappoint her. He was ready to open his gifts and see what she got him.

"No, of course. I have to run to the office for a minute anyway. An emergency came up, but I'll be back here afterwards, ok? I love you," she said, giving him a quick kiss and leaving. Once he heard her far enough down the hall, he turned towards Mellie, clearly not wanting to talk.

"Let's go talk, if we must," he sighed, leading them to the residence. "I don't want to do this where the staff could hear us anyway."

She sent her agent on the inside a text quickly to his burner phone, telling him to disable the cameras in the residence. To her luck and surprise, he said he cut it and the west wing cameras off hours ago to make it look like the system crashed. She thanked him and followed Fitz to their old bedroom, where he had moved Olivia in to.

"Look, if this is about Teddy, you know you can come get him tomorrow morning. No earlier-"

"It's not about Teddy," she sighed, cutting him off, wishing he wasn't always so assuming of things. "I just...I wanted to apologize for the way things went down. I never expected us to end like this...and I know it was more of a partnership than a marriage, but that spark _was_ there. Despite our beginning, I thought we truly would be together forever," she explained. Fitz just looked at her, like what she said was stupid. He always treated her as an inferior, like she had no good things to say.

"But I know what I say doesn't matter and you love Olivia, so none of this really matters, does it?" She laughed, almost crying.

"Anyway," she reached into her purse, "here's your gift."

She pulled out a small box wrapped in light blue paper and a dark blue ribbon and handed it to him. She could tell he was surprised she had even gotten him anything. He opened the box to reveal the silver plated face and black leather banded watch and he gently took it out, taking off the watch he had on and putting on the one she got him.

"Mels...you didn't have to do this. Thank you. I love it," he said, his eyes lit up. "I really do. You know me well," he smiled.

"That's what twenty plus years does," she half laughed. He could hear the depression in her voice and hoped she really was ok. He knew he couldn't fix her now.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm sorry for the way this all happened, too. Like you said, our meeting wasn't on the best circumstances...and once you get past all that and why we got married...there was some hope there. A tiny little glimmer of hope and love for a while, and then my father assaulted you and didn't help anything and _I'm_ _sorry_ , Mels. I am terribly sorry for screwing up your life," he said, tears in his eyes. "I know we aren't on great terms and you're right, I am madly in love with Olivia. But it doesn't run deep like our love did. It _will_ eventually falter out. But I already messed up, so there's no going back. Make that two lives I've ruined. So I am sorrier than you could ever imagine," he said, exhaling sharply. "I should've never walked into that strip club. We never would've met. You would've finished school and gone on to be the best damn lawyer in Tennessee or wherever you would've ended up. You could have been somebody, and I mean truly made a name for yourself, a name that meant something, if I had never met you."

"I don't regret our time together, though. We had a good run," she said, feeling sick to her stomach. Here she was ready to kill him and he was sincerely apologizing for his mistakes. She didn't know what to do. But then she remembered every time he was never there for her, every time he yelled at her for no reason, blew her off, got drunk out of sadness, came to her for make up sex or when he was upset with Olivia, lied, cheated, the list goes on and on. He could never apologize for everything, and he was right; he couldn't fix anything now. He was in too deep.

"We did," he sighed with a smile. He took off his shoes and belt and threw them on the bed, not noticing her purse sitting there. "Some birthday this has been," he laughed. "I remember every birthday I spent with you. We would celebrate all day long. Birthday morning sex, then pancakes for breakfast with the strawberry syrup, then off to work. Somehow you would manage to make the best apple pie in the entire world without me knowing, and we would go out to eat and come back for dessert. Although the pie wasn't always the first dessert we had," he laughed. "The pie tonight was nothing compared to yours."

"Please, I bet the chefs here make way better pie than I do," she laughed.

"It wasn't even close," he said, rolling up his sleeves. She saw the gleam in his slate gray eyes and knew he had sex on his mind as he inched his way closer to her. She only hoped he couldn't her how loud her heart was beating.

"I know you don't care about mine and Olivia's sex life," he said, running his fingers through his hair, "but to be honest, she is nothing compared to you. She may be young, but she doesn't have your experience, your energy, your drive," he whispered, staring into her big blue eyes, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know whether to be happy he was interested or freaked out. Was this a dream?

"She doesn't like it rough like you do," he whispered, and Mellie felt her legs getting weak. He always managed to catch her off guard. "She can't handle me like you do."

"She doesn't scream my name like you do," he said, backing her up against the wall by his bed. His body was almost pressed to hers, and he saw the fear in her eyes.

"She doesn't call me Daddy like you do," he whispered in her ear, and she melted. She was done. He would take her as she was, and she would never get to kill him. She knew he would do as he wanted and she wouldn't have a say.

He leaned down and kissed her deeply, gripping her side with his left hand and her ass with his right hand, trying to convince her to sleep with him. She wanted to so badly, no one else knew her like he did and could measure up, but she had to stay focused. He held her close, her body now pinned to the wall under his.

"Fitz..." She whispered, closing her eyes. "I can't...we can't do this."

"Yes, we can," he assured her, sliding his hands up her shirt and tracing patterns with his fingers along her sides.

"I just..." She managed to get out from under him and sit on the bed, hoping this was her chance.

"What?" He asked annoyedly, sitting beside her.

"I just don't want this to be meaningless. I don't want to be your rebound, for you to go back to her in an hour or so and..." She sighed, still trying to figure out what to do.

"Mellie, you have never been meaningless to me," he sighed. "Let's just take it slow, ok? Just like we used to."

"Let me just put on some perfume first," she said, digging through her purse. He couldn't help but smile; he knew how she liked fancy oils when they had sex. She liked the way they smelled, and she knew they turned him on. She pulled out the small vial of chloroform and uncapped it, pretending to smell it.

"Smell it, it's something new I got the other day," she said, holding the vial up to his nose.

"That is nice," he said, admiring her new perfume.

"I liked the strawberries and the citrus," She said, letting him smell it again. He sniffed it a few more times, trying to smell the fruits.

"The citrus is prominent, but I don't smell much on the berries," he said, smelling it one last time. She took it back and dabbed a little on her neck, then putting it back in her purse. He looked confused as his eyelids drooped and he shook his head in confusion.

"You ok?" She asked, acting concerned.

"I feel kind of of dizzy," he said, holding on to the bed. "I don't know what it could be. You know, this happened last time I flew more than ten hours now that I think about it. I was messed up for days."

"That's strange," she said. "I'll get you some water, maybe you'll feel better." She got up and went into the master bathroom to get him a glass of water. She came back and found him passed out on the bed. She drank the water and crumpled up the paper cup, throwing it in her purse. She grabbed her latex gloves out of her purse, along with the cocaine. She put on the gloves and turned him on his side after making sure he was totally out of it. She drew up the cocaine and took a deep breath, hitting the vein perfectly. She injected him quickly and pulled the needle out, setting it and the vial on his bedside table. She threw her gloves into her purse and gathered her things, but turned around and looked him over one last time. She scoffed at his disgusted face and rolled her eyes.

"I will see you on the other side, Fitzgerald... _in hell_."

She tried to keep her heels quiet as she left, but she was more worried someone would hear her heart about to beat out of her chest. She didn't know if she could live with herself now. She had just shot her ex-husband up with cocaine. She took a deep breath and acted normal as she left, knowing she couldn't mess this up. She couldn't make a suspect of herself.

She walked out the security gates and to her car with Will, and drove straight to her house where Jake was waiting to hear all about her night.


	7. Variations

**A/N:** I apologize for updating so late, but the start of the semester has me busy and school is my first priority. I really hope you enjoy this, because you get a deeper look into the vulnerable, emotion-ridden side of Mellie after Fitz's death and another side of Jake's life. Thank you so much for reading and please feel free to leave reviews!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Mellie walked through the empty halls of the White House at seven the next morning, coming back to get more of Teddy's things. She quickly made it to the residence, going into Teddy's room and packing up a few more pairs of nice clothes and some shoes into her bag. She knew she had seen Cyrus in his office and he acted normal. He knew Fitz had pushed back his first meeting to nine since he was up late last night. She wondered if Olivia had found Fitz yet. Surely it wouldn't be this quiet if she had. She went over every possible scenario in her head. Olivia could have found him and fainted from shock, or killed herself for not wanting to live without him. Or maybe she didn't come back last night. Maybe she was busy. Mellie decided that was the most logical answer and calmly walked down to his bedroom. She found his agents within ten feet of either side of his double wooden doors and she smiled at them as she knocked, then entered. She shut it behind herself quickly and sighed, closing her eyes. She was afraid to see Fitz again. She looked over at his bed and saw him lying exactly where she left him.

He was dead.

He wasn't coming back.

It finally hit her.

Her heart beat faster as she approached him, touching his cold arm. She pulled her hand back quickly and stepped backwards, unable to comprehend it. She had killed him. He was dead. The president of the United States was now dead.

She backed into his standing full length mirror and it crashed against the wall, making enough noise to get an agent's attention. They opened his doors and Mellie stood there, frozen. They saw the shock on her face as her hands shook and her mouth wide open. They looked at her first and then glanced over to Fitz.

"Are you ok, ma'am?" Nathan asked, Jackson on his heels.

"He's dead," she choked out, feeling like she couldn't move. She stayed where she was, unable to face them. She was going into shock.

They said nothing and ran over to Fitz, immediately checking for a pulse. Jackson couldn't find one and felt his cold, pale face.

"Call the Director," he told Nathan in a panic. "I'll call the doctor."

The room was so quiet Mellie could hear the line ringing on their phones from across the room. She tried to regulate her breathing, but she couldn't calm down. Her hands shook and she saw Jackson hang up and come over to her.

"He was like this when you came in here?" He asked, and she didn't answer. She was still in shock.

" _Mellie_ ," he said loudly, and she snapped out of it, shaking worse now. He led her over to the couch and she sat down beside him.

"I...I-I don't know what happened, and now he's dead. How...how is he dead? I talked to him about Teddy last night before I left. He-he was fine then. He was alive," she said shakily, taking deep breaths.

"I come back this morning to get some of Teddy's belongings. I-I came to tell him I would bring Teddy by later and...and he was like this. He's _dead_ , Jackson. _He's dead!_ " She yelled, tears streaming down her face as she hyperventilated. He looked over at Nathan, who was paging Cyrus and calling the rest of the medical team in.

"Get that medic here, stat," Jackson said. "We need some oxygen here. Mellie, listen to me. Take some deep breaths for me and try to calm down. We've got this under control, ok?" He assured her, resting a hand on her shoulder. He could feel her entire body shaking worse and he held her close, knowing she was having a panic attack. He quickly paged Will, who was down the hall, and he came running in, shocked to see Fitz unresponsive. He saw Jackson and Mellie and went over to her, trying to calm her. He heard footsteps down the hall and Cyrus and the doctor ran in. The medics and fire department showed up five minutes later, and the entire room was a mess of commotion. Cyrus was speaking with the doctor and making phone calls, the medics were making sure they couldn't revive him, and his agents were trying to get in touch with Olivia.

Mellie had seen Jake come in the room out of the corner of her eye, and he was dressed out in his gear and waiting alongside the other firefighters for instruction from the medics. A medic came over to her and checked her over, then called for an oxygen unit. Jake grabbed one of the fire department's tanks and went over to them, handing it off to the medic. He was trying not to pay her much attention, not wanting to stir up rumors, but he saw her in distress and had to help.

He put her mask on while the medic started the oxygen and Mellie gave him a serious glare, and he knew he'd better back off. She didn't care if they were seen together, but she didn't want to instigate anything that could cause more rumors and bad publicity. Since she and Jake weren't official, she didn't want any serious rumors going around. The medic checked her vital signs and sat with her, Will, and Jackson. She was now curled up in Will's lap, trying to stop these constant tears as he held her close. She closed her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to listen to what the director and medics were saying. She didn't even know the director had arrived.

He began spouting off orders to call the coroner, to get him here in an unmarked car, to avoid a press conference until they had the facts. He said they needed to buy some time, they needed to get the Cabinet together and Vice President Ross in here ASAP.

It was all getting to be too much for her. The guilt she felt, her mind and heart racing, the various voices throughout the room, her dead ex-husband, the president, across the room from her. This was all her fault. She tried to bury her face in Will's chest, trying to block it all out.

* * *

"Mellie? Mellie," Will said softly, trying to wake her an hour later. Her eyes opened slowly and she saw Jackson and Jake still nearby. She was still in his lap on the couch, and her eyes burned from all the crying. Her body was exhausted, she felt like she had been hit by a bus. She removed the mask and Jackson checked her pulse, which was back to normal.

"Will," she said softly, glad he was there with her. She immediately realized where she was, that this wasn't a dream. She was still a murderer. Fitz was still dead.

She felt a sense of regret, wondering how she let her emotions get the best of her. Every angry word, fight, abusive action, every time he lied and cheated came back to her. She suddenly remembered why she took this chance.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly. She noticed the room wasn't quite as busy and she sat up and turned around, seeing Fitz still on the bed. His agents stood near him and the medics sat in the floor, waiting on the director to come back with the coroner. He had left to go get him himself and Mellie was relieved Fitz was still here. She got up and slowly walked over to him, kneeling beside his body. She touched his cold hand and rubbed her thumb across his ring finger, where his wedding ring sat for over twenty years. She saw the peace in his face, but all she felt was guilt and anger in her heart. She leaned over his body and cried again, realizing he was really gone. She quickly stopped herself, not wanting to be seen like this. It made her look weak, something she didn't want. No one but Andrew had seen the vulnerable side of her, and she wasn't about to let someone witness it.

So she got up, wiped her tears away, and took a deep breath, going back over to Will.

"So what do we do now?" She asked.

"Well, the director is gone to get to coroner. Cyrus is trying to dodge the media and come up with a statement. And someone to give it," he explained.

"Can't Abby do it?" Mellie asked.

"Cyrus has her keeping the reporters occupied, more or less. He's trying to hunt down Olivia. He sent agents to her house and office, but we've gotten no word back yet," he said.

"Get the director to do it," she commanded. "I need to go home."

"The director ordered you stay here until he gets back."

"I need to tend to my son," she told him, crossing her arms, not wanting to be here anymore. She glanced over at Jake and he sympathized with her, wishing he could help.

"It's not safe," Will told her firmly, not wanting to get aggressive with her. As soon as the words left his mouth, the director and coroner walked in the room, and Mellie smiled as he walked towards her.

"Can I leave now? I need to check on Teddy."

"Agents are there now with your assistant and Teddy," he said, but he knew she wasn't having any of it. "Look, let the coroner take him to the hospital and you can go, but only for a little while. I'll need you back here to sort things out."

"Ok. I need you to do the address. They can't find Olivia," Mellie told him, gathering her things.

"I'll speak with Mr. Beene soon," he nodded. She watched as the coroner placed his body in a black body bag and zipped it up. She glanced at Jake as she picked up her purse and left with Will, feeling like she was falling apart at the seams.

* * *

Jake sighed as he got back to the department later that morning, taking off his suit and helmet. He felt bad for Mellie. He knew she wanted Fitz out of her life, it was clear for him to see. He knew the bad blood ran deep between the two of them, and he just wanted her happy. He should've talked her out of it, but he just wanted to help. Now she was regretting her mistake.

After seeing she got settled at home and promising he would see her soon, Jake left her house at ten thirty a.m. and started to his old stomping grounds - the liquor store four blocks from the fire department.

He walked in the front door and Jim, the owner, was at the counter and surprised to see him.

"Jake, haven't seen you around here in a long time," he exclaimed, shaking his hand over the counter. "What can I do for you today?"

"I've got some big events planned next week. I need two vodkas, three whiskeys, and a case of moonshine," Jake told him, and Jim immediately followed him to the back of the store, where he kept the inventory. He walked up to a black painted wooden door and unlocked it, opening it for him.

"I was serious about the moonshine, Jim," he told him, going inside the room. He shut the door behind him and looked at the man sitting at the round table in front of him.

"Jacob, good to see you again in official capacity," the man drew out his voice, a sneaky grin forming on his face.

"Hollis," Jake nodded, pulling out a chair and sitting in it, keeping his hands inside his gray leather jacket pockets. Hollis had a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other, ready to get down to business.

"You want a drink?" He asked. "Just help yourself to the inventory. It's on me."

Jake got up and went out into the dimly lit stock room, searching over for one thing. It caught his eye on the bottom shelf in the corner - a mason jar full of moonshine.

He grabbed it and went back in to sit by Hollis, opening the jar and taking a long drink, the liquid burning his throat.

"I never pegged you for a moonshine type of guy," he drawled.

"I picked it up from the best," he commented, and Hollis figured he meant Mellie.

"So you been foolin around with Mellie?" He questioned curiously, and Jake set down his drink. "Surprised you took that bitch to bed."

"Nothing more than friends, Hollis."

"So the date was just friends then?" Hollis snapped back, taking a drink of his whiskey.

"The date was a date. Point is, we aren't in a relationship. We are just getting to know each other. Now why did you call me here?" Jake asked, getting impatient.

"Now that Fitz is dead, I'm afraid secrets will start coming out. Secrets that will put a lot of people's asses on the line. I know my girl Mellie won't breathe a word of any of it, but I don't trust Olivia Pope or Cyrus. They're some two-timing, no good sons of bitches. Olivia's going to run her blabberin' mouth, we all know it. I got ahold of Fitz's will. To her surprise, he never had a chance to change it before he died," Hollis said.

"So?"

"So that means Mellie is still getting everything. I need you to take down Olivia and avoid her posse at all costs. Make it look like a missing person, dispose of the body somewhere she normally goes. That way it can be played off as depression or grief. Maybe even a suicide. I'll get someone else on Cyrus a few days later. I need this done by midnight tomorrow night."

"What do I tell Mellie?" Jake asked, wondering how all of this would affect her. "She'll worry she's next."

"Assure her she's not. After Olivia, Secret Service will beef up all security. VP Ross will step in as President. Everyone will be on edge. Don't worry about, Jake. You'll be fine. I know it's been a while, but you can do this," Hollis told him. "Your tools are still in the bag in my car. Grab them on your way out. I'll be in touch. I'll have the first 750,000 in your account in two hours."

Jake nodded and got up, leaving his moonshine behind and opening the door. He was focused. He knew what he had to do. He didn't like who he used to be, but he needed the money. He needed to know Mellie was safe. He needed to keep Hollis happy.

"Pleasure doing business," Hollis yelled as Jake shut the door. He walked up to Jim and handed him some money as he grabbed the case of moonshine off the counter. He ignored the jingle of the bell on the door as he opened it and left, going out to his car. He set the moonshine down in his trunk and got his tools out of Hollis's car, then headed to go back to his apartment.

He would go see Mellie the day before she left for the Senate meeting and have a drink with her.

* * *

Jake sat in his apartment that night, contemplating when to take on his task. He could do it tonight, but it would be risky. He hadn't done something like this in at least ten years and he didn't want to mess the most important job of his life.

He looked at his watch - it was now 12:30 a.m., and he decided he would go for it at 4:30. He needed to come up with a plan. A backup plan, an alibi. Something to cover his ass. He grabbed a piece of paper and started writing different ideas down, not wanting to forget anything.

* * *

Jake left his house at four that morning in sweatpants and a dark gray hoodie, getting in a black SUV Hollis loaned him. He had his tools in the passenger seat beside him, knowing exactly which ones he planned to use. He started toward Olivia's apartment building as he tracked her phone, trying to decide where to execute his plan. He saw she was still at work, and he put a black bandana over his face and headed her way.

He sat outside her office building, leaving the car turned off. He opened up a small box and took out a needle full of just enough etorphine to get the job done. He didn't want to be here. He just needed to get this job done and go home.

He glanced at the cinder block and rope in his floorboard and sighed, seeing a couple of people come out of the building. He watched them get in their respective vehicles and drive away, and he wondered when Olivia was coming out. He waited for another twenty minutes and wondered if he should call it off. It was going to be daylight by five thirty and he couldn't risk being seen.

Five minutes later, he saw the upstairs lights turn off and he quietly got out, taking the needle with him. He stood around the side of the building, waiting for her to come out. As soon as he heard the main steel door close and her footsteps down the sidewalk, he went after her. He noticed she was dressed in sweatpants, an old t-shirt, and a tan sweater. His footsteps were light, his heart beat fast. He wasn't sure if he could do it now, but there was no turning back.

He quickly reached from behind and clasped his hand over her mouth, taping it shut and holding her hands still. He could feel the fear in her body as it trembled and she tried to get free, but he injected her in the neck before she could get any further. She was unconscious within seconds and he took her back to the car, throwing her limp, petite body in an empty suitcase in the trunk.

He wasted no time getting to Hollis's boat at the marina, parking the SUV and getting out, grabbing his bag and the suitcase out of the back. He noticed there was no security on duty this early, which he was thankful for. He quickly got to Hollis's boat and loaded the bags, strapping then down and putting on a lifejacket before putting the keys in the ignition. He started up the boat and the lights shone far in front of him, and he hurried down to the nearest bridge he picked out earlier.

About five minutes later he was there, and he turned off the boat, now surrounded by darkness. He opened his bag and pulled out the cinder block and rope, then carefully removed her tiny body from the suitcase. He felt horrible for doing this, he had to block it out; he didn't want to be like this. How had he gotten to this point? How he had he gone this deep?

He pushed his feelings aside and tied the rope and cinder block around her waist, picking her up again with all his strength. He looked around one more time to make sure he wasn't being watched and he threw her in the cold water, then turned the boat back on. He drove over to the wall of gray rocks that met the water's edge and crumpled up the note, throwing it as far up the rocks as he could. He saw it wedged between two rocks and he sped off, ready to be back at the marina.

As he parked the boat and saw the bright orange morning sunrise, he hated who he'd become. This unwanted side of him, something he wished he'd never agreed to. He pushed it all to the back of his mind and went back to the SUV and to Hollis's house to get his truck.


	8. Need You Now, Part 1

**A/N** : Just a look into the aftermath of Fitz's death and Olivia's disappearance. Jake's private life is slowly surfacing more and more. This is the first part to this chapter, and I'll try to have the second half uploaded soon. I love reading your reviews, so feel free to leave some more! Thanks for reading.

 **DISCLAIMER** : I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Mellie sat in her office in D.C. on their lunch break Monday morning, ready for the afternoon session already. She still tried to keep herself occupied to keep her mind off what she had done a mere three days ago. She couldn't think about it without feeling sick to her stomach now.

She was caught up for the time being and only had two meetings later this afternoon. She slipped her shiny nude heels off and turned on her small flat screen TV to the news grid. Her favorite thing about technology was being able to watch six news channels at once.

She shuffled some papers on her desk around and her phone began buzzing constantly. She picked it up, but before she looked at it, the headline on every news channel in D.C. flashed across the screen:

"Olivia Pope Missing"

A knock on her door scared her, her mouth still wide open in shock.

"Come in," she said shakily as she stood up, seeing three of her agents come in and surround her desk.

"Senator Richardson, the director has ordered an emergency security meeting. Everyone should be here within ten minutes," Will told her with a serious and concerned expression on his face.

She was so thankful for Will and Francis. They were her most trusted guards, so she kept them on house duty when she needed them. Past that, the Secret Service men were just big men in black suits supposed to be protecting her.

"Why here?" She questioned, feeling her phone buzz again in her hand.

"This building has already been secured. We don't want to risk moving you, Senator."

She nodded with a slight sigh, sitting down and reading her texts as the guards dispersed about the room. She kept her eye on Will, who stayed near her desk. She opened her messages and saw they were all from Jake.

"Don't worry. You're safe."

"You're about to have a meeting."

"I've made arrangements to come see you tonight, no matter where you are."

"I'll explain later."

"Trust me on this when I say don't worry. I know you are safe. They aren't coming for you next."

"The 15th. I love you. Don't worry. Jake"

She wondered how he knew she was safe, but didn't think about it for long as she deleted their conversation and wiped the phone to factory settings. He told her when they started texting his code word was some variation of the number 15, and that meant to clear their texts. It didn't matter why, she just needed to do it.

She reset her phone and looked back at the TV, still in disbelief, wondering what happened. The news reported a Secret Service agent going to her house this morning after not hearing from her. She and Mellie were supposed to meet this afternoon about Fitz's arrangements. He picked her lock and saw that she was missing, and it's been a madhouse ever since.

Twenty other men rushed into Mellie's small office and she stood up as they entered, wondering what was going on. The Director of the Secret Service came in and took his spot at the head of the room, the silence in the air deafening.

"Agents, Senator," he said with a deep sigh, "after the past two days' unfortunate events, we need to step up security. Here at the Capitol, the White House, the airport, everywhere. Two agents to every senator and representative, on the clock 24/7. We'll do twelve hour shifts. Same goes for senior staffers and West Wing employees in the White House. Anyone going to and from Dulles, make it six men. I know this is a time of fear, and of sadness, but we have no time to waste on emotions. We have to keep doing our job and being the very best at our job because some of the most powerful people in the world are right here within reach, and their lives are in _our_ hands. I sent each of you a more precise copy of the current protocol we are running. This includes your new shifts and assignments. That is all," he concluded, still looking professional and put together as ever. He walked straight over to Mellie, ready to talk with her as the group shuffled out of the room.

"Senator Richardson," he shook her hand, "I know this is a difficult time for you right now, just getting into office and all. But with that and a death and a missing person in two days...I had no choice but to call in more security. I kept Will and Francis in charge on opposite shifts, and added seven more agents on your assignment. This is only until things calm down," he assured her.

"There are agents now at your home, checking on the babysitter and Teddy, and also sweeping the place. The Capitol is on lockdown at the moment while we secure the building, meetings are put on hold until further notice. We can't risk anything happening to you as former First Lady or these other senators," he explained. "I would like to send agents to protect Karen, if I may."

Mellie felt her heart get cold as she remembered the last time she saw Karen before she left.

"Of course I'm all for it, but she will never have it. She has nothing to do with this family any more. I even called her about Fitz and she wouldn't answer my calls. Her own father died and she doesn't care," Mellie fought back tears. "You can try. But don't force them on her."

"Yes ma'am," he said softly, feeling her hurt. "Call me if you have any questions or need more agents."

He walked away briskly and out of the office, going to help with the securing of the building. Mellie sat down in her brown leather desk chair, trying to make sense of Olivia going missing.

' _This must have been planned, too_ ,' she thought. ' _But why so soon after Fitz? Who would want her gone?_ '

She tried to block the image of Fitz's face out of her mind, the face he made as she held him down. She picked up her phone and texted Jake, who called her almost instantly.

"Hello-"

"Where are you right now? We need to talk. The Secret Service and D.C. police have put the Capitol on lockdown while they search it. What is going on?" she said frantically.

"I'm at the fire department right now, we're on standby for a building demolition a few blocks away. I'll explain everything later. You _have_ to trust me on this. Go home when you're done there and wait for me, ok?" He wished she would listen and be patient. She needed to trust him.

"Ok," she sighed. "I'll let you know when we get out of here."

"Thanks," he said. "Be careful."

"I will. Bye."

She hung up and looked back at the TV, wondering where Olivia could be. She looked through her contacts, trying to find someone to call about her. She pressed call on the first one she found and waited for her to answer.

"Mellie? Why are you calling me in the middle of the day?"

"Do you know what happened to Liv?"

"No, and if I did, why would you care?" Abby snapped back.

"I can put aside our differences long enough to ask about our mutual friend. Do you know anything or not?" She sighed.

"I don't know anything. I haven't heard from her since Friday morning. Something about planning a birthday party for Fitz. I wasn't there," she explained. "I tried calling her after hearing what happened, but she never answered."

"Ok. Thanks," Mellie hung up, trying to think of someone else to call about Olivia. She didn't want to get involved with her workers, she knew they wouldn't tell her anything. They probably started a search of their own by now. Her next thought was her father, but she could never speak to him again after she knew what he had done, the way he tore their family apart, the way he just killed her son. So she sat down at her desk and worked until the agents decided to take her home.

* * *

 _It's like they want me to be perfect_

 _But they don't even know I'm hurting_

 _This life's not easy_

 _I'm not made out of steel_

 _Don't forget that I'm human_

 _Don't forget that I'm real /_

Mellie was in her favorite gray sweatpants and a Navy t-shirt of Fitz's with her hair pulled up that afternoon at 6:30. The Senate had cancelled the afternoon session after the lockdown, so everyone was let go at one. She came straight home and paid the babysitter double, glad to have Teddy safe in her arms.

She had spent all afternoon playing with him, being briefed by the agents on current security details, meeting with their legal team over what was in Fitz's will, and now she was meeting with the funeral director. That was one thing she made sure of, that she would be the one to plan his funeral and not Olivia. They were sitting at the large, oak dining room table, going through look books of caskets and linings. Teddy was sitting beside her, working on a math worksheet when the doorbell suddenly rang and startled her.

"I'm so sorry, let me go see who this is," she apologized to the director as she got up and went to the door. Will stopped her and she sighed, letting him open it. He cautiously pulled the door back, only to find Jake on her doorstep. Will stepped aside and let him in, and Mellie gave him a big hug.

"Jake," she whispered, feeling so happy, lost in the warmth of his embrace. She felt safe with him.

"I'm so glad you're ok," he said softly, rubbing her back.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll work on dinner as soon as I'm done with the funeral director," she promised, going back into the kitchen. He set his black duffel bag down by the door and sat down on the couch, exhausted after the past few days.

Mellie went back into the kitchen and sat down beside the director, picking out a nice mahogany casket. They agreed on music, time, date, place, and the flower arrangements. Teddy got down out of his chair and made his way onto Mellie's lap, snuggling up to her as close as he could.

"Would you like an open casket or closed casket ceremony?" He asked softly.

"Open," she sighed, not believing she was burying her ex-husband. This is what she wanted, what she _thought_ she wanted for the longest time. Now that she made it happen, she wondered if she made a mistake.

She did love him. She truly did, never stopped loving him. She just didn't want to watch her husband, her family, her life, be taken away from her like that.

"I think I have everything I need for right now. We'll figure out the rest of the details tomorrow or Wednesday," he said, gathering his things and getting up. She picked Teddy up and followed him to the door.

"Have a good evening, Senator Richardson."

"You too," she faked a smile, closing the door behind him and sighing, exhausted. She turned around and heard Jake in the kitchen, making a lot of noise finding some dishes to cook in.

"What did you have planned for dinner?" He asked, going through he fridge. He pulled out a beer and opened it with his car keys, taking a quick drink and setting it on the counter while he continued going through the fridge.

"I honestly don't even remember," she said, rubbing her forehead. "Whatever you find in there to throw together is fine. But you don't have to do this."

"Just sit down and breathe for a minute," he said. "It's been a long day."

She sighed, a little relieved, and took Teddy into the living room. She sat on the welcoming sofa and turned on the TV, every local channel showing something about Fitz or Olivia. She shook her head, wanting to cry.

She planned on Teddy's teacher coming here tomorrow to help him with his lessons. She knew it was only kindergarten, but he would be in first grade in the fall, and she wouldn't let him get behind.

' _Another thing to add to the list_ ,' she thought. ' _Fitz and I were going to start looking at schools here next week. What have I done?_ ' She asked herself in her mind.

 _'I got what I wanted. I wanted him dead. I despised him, but I forgot how much we did still do together. We still had Teddy,_ ' she thought.

"Mama?" Teddy asked, looking up to her as he sat beside her, clutching a dinosaur toy he found in the floor.

"Yes baby?" She answered, smoothing his soft, brown hair back. He was a perfect image of both her and Fitz.

"When can we go see Daddy?"

Her heart sank deep into her chest, so deep, so heavy she thought she wouldn't be able to move. She wasn't ready for this. She hadn't prepared herself.

"Oh, baby," she whispered, picking him up and setting him in her lap. "Daddy's body quit working the other day, baby. He was sick. But now he's a lot better because he's in heaven and not sick anymore."

"Is he coming back?" Teddy asked, now concerned. Mellie shook her head no, trying not to cry in front of her son.

"He loves you so much, Teddy. So do I. So don't be sad, baby. He's happy and not sick now and he's watching over us right now," she smiled.

 _What had she done?_

She had killed her own husband, the father of her son, and sat here and lied to him.

Teddy nodded, yet not quite fully understanding what he had just been told, and crawled to the floor to play with his array of toys about the room.

Her mind was racing, trying to figure out what to do first tomorrow. She had so many things to do, people to see, bills to review, and interviews to attend. She decided to meeting with the lawyers first thing in the morning to finish going over what was in his will and what to start moving out of the White House.

 _That was actually happening_.

She knew she had technically left the White House, but now she was leaving it for good. She had to remove the last six and a half years of her life from that house and move it somewhere else. And to her, it was routine.

But she hoped she would be back in it soon.

She emailed the lawyers and set the meeting for nine a.m. the next morning and locked her phone, setting it in her lap. She leaned back and closed her heavy eyes, physically and emotionally drained.

* * *

"Mellie," Jake whispered sweetly, sitting beside her on the couch, nudging her arm gently.

"Hey, baby," he said, and she opened her eyes slowly as she sat up and looked at him.

"How long was I asleep?" She questioned, not wanting to miss or forget a single thing. She didn't have time to sleep. Planning for Fitz, worrying about Olivia, and trying to keep Teddy calm were enough to keep her up for days, not mention her conscience not letting her sleep.

"Maybe thirty minutes," he said, holding her hand. "It's fine, baby. Come eat something and then you're going to bed. You let me worry about cleaning up and putting Teddy to bed."

She said not a single word, only following him and his instructions to the dining room. He set a plate down for her and Teddy, then made one for himself. He had thrown together some shrimp fettuccine alfredo and some baby carrots real quick, but wished it was more.

She sat down by her son and cut up his food for him, wondering how he didn't seem fazed by any of this. Jake set down a sippy cup of milk by his plate and handed Mellie a glass of wine before sitting down across from her. He quickly began eating, only to watch his friend sip on her wine and push the food on her plate around.

"You not hungry?" He asked, chewing a mouthful of pasta and wiping his soft, pink lips.

"Not really," she sighed, looking him in the eyes. She didn't know if she could even eat with this guilt, the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was tired of her name being in the news, being dogged, being put down all because she was associated with them. She had learned since his being governor that the media would rip you to shreds, chew you up and spit you back out, they would have no respect you at all. You had to be careful of what you said, how you dressed, what makeup you wore, how you smiled; they would criticize you on anything, no matter how big or how small, whatever they could get their dirty hands on.

She had grown tough skin, but she was tired of being strong. She knew it would only be a little bit longer before she didn't have to be so strong any more.

Her phone began buzzing across the table and she snapped out of it, quickly grabbing it and answering it.

"Hey Chelsea," she said in a serious tone.

"Where are you right now?" She asked nervously.

"At home. Why?" Mellie asked.

"Don't leave there until I give you the all clear. I got a call from the legal team, the investigator is out here at the river. They're searching for Olivia's body," she explained, standing in the cool March air in jeans and one of her best gray pea coats. She was behind the police tape until one of Mellie's lawyers with the cops motioned for her to come forward.

"Her body," Mellie whispered, hoping she wasn't dead. She didn't like Olivia, but she didn't want her dead.

"I cancelled all your interviews for tomorrow. You'll still meet with the lawyers in the morning. What do I need to do for you?" She asked.

"Make sure Teddy's teacher gets here without a problem. I'll send Jake out to the store," she said, watching Teddy ask Jake if he could be excused and run off to color a new page out of his coloring book in the living room.

"He doesn't need to leave in the day. The last thing we need is to drag him into all of this. Get Will to get him out around one or two. I know you want him to stay, but wait until this weekend. We need to keep you and everyone around you out of danger," Chelsea explained. She watched the divers come up and one went to the riverbank, talking to his supervisor. She saw nods and sighs be exchanged, and she knew they had found her.

"We're going to bring in the net," the supervisor came and told the police, who nodded.

"Before we do anything, these cameras need to go," the three lawyers told the cops, pointing to the reporters. They were about to put up a fight and Chelsea gave them a stern look. They began telling the camera crews to leave and they checked around, making sure no one else was nearby to take pictures.

"What is all the commotion?" Mellie asked, looking at Jake, and he saw the concern in her eyes. He knew it had to be about Olivia.

"They found her," Chelsea said, her voice cracking, trying to hold back her tears as they pulled a net out of the water, her cold, lifeless, wet body in it. The police quickly wrapped her body and set her in a body bag, taking it to the coroner's van.

Mellie's heart sank, and her phone almost slipped out of her hand. Olivia was dead. She didn't know why, or how, but she was dead.

Two people close to her were dead within a matter of a few days.

"I'll be over there as soon as I can, Mel. Bye," she said, hanging up. She needed to get information from the lawyers and fast.

"Bye," Mellie barely got out, her body frozen. She set her phone down on the table and tried to stay calm. She was in complete shock. Jake caught a glimpse of her glassy eyes and slightly parted lips and could tell she was upset. He got up and went into the living room to talk to Teddy.

"Hey, Ted, why don't we go get ready for bed?" He asked, getting down on one knee and giving Teddy a smile. He briefly stopped coloring and looked up at Jake as he laid on the floor.

"Right now?" He asked curiously.

"Of course. It's getting late," Jake faked a yawn and a stretch, even though it didn't take much effort since he, too, was tired. "It's already eight. Eight thirty is bedtime."

Teddy grinned and shook his head no, and Jake tried his best to play along.

"It's not your bedtime? Well mine is at eight-thirty. I'm already tired," he yawned again. "You wouldn't want me to be late to bed, would you?"

Teddy giggled and Jake smiled, realizing how blessed Mellie was with such a great kid.

"Come on, let's pick up your toys and then we'll go upstairs."

They picked up and put away his toys in his toy box, then raced each other upstairs to his bedroom. Teddy changed into his pajamas and Jake read him a bedtime story, the same one he always read with Mellie when he was here. Now it was their nightly routine to read it.

"Is Mama ok?" He asked Jake after the story, wondering why his mother was downstairs and not telling him goodnight.

"She's just tired, Ted. Her new job is a lot of work," he told him, sitting beside his bed. His bedroom walls were a soft blue, and his comforter was a navy blue. His teddy bear lay beside him and his baseball lamp on his nightstand was still on to illuminate the room.

"So she's not sick?"

"No. Just tired."

Teddy nodded, accepting the fact she was ok now. "I was scared she was sick like Daddy and her body would quit working too," he said softly.

"Oh, no, Teddy. She's not sick. She'll be better in a little while. I promise," he smiled. "Sleep good, buddy."

Teddy gave him a nod of approval and yawned as Jake tucked him in and turned off his lamp. Jake smiled, glad to see he was comfortable here, but felt so bad for him. He was so young to have to go through all this.

He went back downstairs and saw Mellie at the dining room table, now with the bottle of wine in hand as she took a long drink. He walked up slowly and leaned against the dark wooden doorframe and crossed his arms.

"Mels," he said softly, now walking over to her and resting a hand on her shoulder. He startled her and she jumped, grabbing hold of the bottle again.

"She's dead, Jake. They just found her body in the river," she said, her body shaking. " _She's dead_. Why would someone want her dead, I don't understand why-"

"Calm down for a second, ok?"

"She wouldn't tell any secrets, she knows she would go to federal prison if she did, why, why would someone kill her? Do you think she was murdered?" Mellie stuttered, in shock, wondering why Olivia could have possibly died.

"Look, I know just as much as you do right now. I don't think someone would go purposely kill her right after Fitz. I'm sure Chelsea will find out something soon," he tried to comfort her.

"What if they come after me next? Or Cyrus? Or Olivia's people? No one is safe, Jake," she said, trying to catch her breath. "I killed him. I killed him," she whispered, tears in her eyes. She didn't want to die. She had too much left to do.

"These nice men surrounding your house are making sure nothing happens to you. You are the president's ex-wife, junior senator of Virginia. They would have to move mountains to get to you. Please don't worry yourself sick over this. Why don't we go upstairs and go to bed?" He suggested. He could see the genuine fear in her eyes and wished he could tell her what he knew about Olivia so she would calm down. But if she knew, she would never speak to him again.

"Fine," she sighed, taking another drink of the red wine and getting up, putting the bottle up and following Jake upstairs. She watched his every step, every muscle in his toned body moving gracefully. She never understood how he stayed in shape and worked so much, but somehow he did.

They got to her bedroom and she grabbed her pajamas off the bed and went into the bathroom to take off her makeup. Jake took off his jeans and tennis shoes, leaving on his white t-shirt and dark gray boxers as he sat on the bed. Mellie came back out moments later and left the bathroom light on and turned off the bedroom light, then got into her comfortable queen sized bed. Jake got in beside her and faced her, taking in every bit of her beauty.

"You are so beautiful, Mellie. So strong, so smart. The smartest person I know," he smiled.

"Oh hush," she grinned. "You're the smart one, flying planes."

"You push a few buttons and get it in the air and make sure you keep it there. Nothing to it," he laughed. She smiled and snuggled up closer to him, their bodies now pressed together. She ran her hand along his side and closed her eyes, quickly feeling his warm hand get beneath her shirt and rub her back.

This is where she felt safe. Safe from threats, reporters, lies.

"I killed him...and now I can't face my son," she whispered. "I killed his father."

"Mellie, you are too hard on yourself right now. He had taken your whole life away. He was on the verge of being impeached or who knows, someone else might have been planning his death. Was it the right thing to do? I can't answer that. But it was what _you_ wanted, and that's what matters to you. You are happier now. You are _free_. You have your son and can be a family now," he explained. "But yes, you do have to live with the consequences and face Teddy."

She sighed deeply as her body began to shake. She had killed someone. She had killed her husband with her bare hands and now she had to live with it.

"I still love you, no matter what," he whispered, kissing her forehead and closing his eyes. Mellie fell asleep quickly, but Jake was wide awake for hours. He leaned over and looked over Mellie's shoulder at the clock that now read 2:15 a.m. He sighed, wishing his conscience would allow him to sleep. He tried closing his eyes, but as soon as he dozed off, his phone rang. It rang with a ringtone set aside for one person and he knew it was never good when it rang. He quickly threw the covers back and grabbed it off the nightstand, answering it as he got up to get dressed.

"Hello?" He answered in a panic, grabbing his pants and putting them on. Mellie sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, wondering what was going on. All she heard him say was:

 _"I'm on my way. Tell her I'll be there as soon as I can. And I love her. Thank you. Bye."_

He slipped his shoes on and grabbed his wallet, shoving it in his pocket.

"Jake, what's going on?" Mellie questioned, seeing the time. "Is everything ok?"

"I have to go. I'll be back as soon as I can. Might be a few days. Don't worry about me, ok?" He tells her, putting on his jacket and using her brush to fix his hair. He put his phone in his pocket and got on the bed, giving her a hug.

"Ok," she said quietly. She gave him a quick kiss and realized he wasn't going to tell her anything right now. "You be safe."

"I will. You watch your back and keep Teddy safe. Don't do anything unless the lawyers or agents say so. Call me if you need me. Bye, Mels," he said, headed for the door.

"Bye, Jake," she said, hoping he was ok. She wondered who the 'her' he referred to was.

He got out of the house and Will escorted him to his car, and he drove home to pack a quick bag, then to Hollis's place. He called Hollis to let him know he needed to borrow his jet, and Hollis said he would have a pilot out there in thirty minutes. Jake beat the pilot there by fifteen minutes and waited impatiently, hoping she was ok. Hollis texted him and told him the airport pre-cleared them already and he would have a car waiting on the runway for him. Jake thanked him and saw the pilot pull up and they headed straight for the plane.

As soon as they got in the air, he went through every scenario in his mind and tried to forget about it. He wished Lela was still here for him to call. He was terrified.


	9. Need You Now, Part 2

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed part one of this chapter and will enjoy part two. Seems like there is a lot more to Jake's life than Mellie realized, especially this other person he seems to care for sincerely. Please feel free to comment or ask questions and thanks so much for reading!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Two hours and a nap later, they landed in Savannah, Georgia, and Jake's phone dinged with a new email. He got the first taxi he could and headed straight for the hospital. He threw his bag in the backseat and unlocked his phone as he sunk into the passenger seat, seeing the email was from Mellie. She had sent it ten minutes earlier.

 _Jake,_

 _I hope everything is ok right now. Whatever happened, it will work out. Praying for your safe return._

 _xo_

 _Mellie_

He sighed and locked his phone, wishing he could tell her about everything in his life. He wanted to tell her, but knew it was in everyone's best interest if he didn't. He unlocked his phone again, opening a new email and writing her back. He knew she would just worry more the longer he waited to answer her.

 _Thank you for your concern. I'll let you know what day I'll be back._

 _Jake_

They pulled up at the hospital and he handed the driver fifty dollars. He grabbed his bag and headed inside, going straight for the front desk. The waiting room was almost completely full at 5:30 a.m., and he was glad she was already being seen about.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Val-"

He leaned over the desk, looking at the clerk with fear in his eyes when one of Valerie's drill instructors came up.

"He's with me," David said, and the lady nodded. Jake followed him down the hall to the elevator, glad to see a familiar face right now.

"Thanks, David. How is she?"

"Her rifle imploded at practice, she suffered burns to her chest and face. She'll get through this like anything else. She's tough. She's your daughter, isn't she?" He laughed, trying to lighten the mood as they got in the elevator and headed for the fourth floor.

"Yeah," Jake said nervously, hoping she really was ok. She was his everything.

They quickly got up to the burn unit and stepped out into the hallway, seeing nurses all over the place, running around to see about the large amount of patients in the unit.

"She's in 405," David said, following behind Jake down the hall. They came to a closed door and Jake sighed, his heart skipping a beat. He didn't know what he was about to see, how his little girl was. He shed a tear and wiped his eye, and David patted him on the back.

"She's my little girl," Jake laughed a little. "I don't know what I would do without her."

"She's 19, Jake. She's grown up. But I understand. She's doing better than you think," he assured him as he opened the wooden door. Jake took a few steps inside and saw his daughter Valerie laying in the hospital bed, bandages covering her right shoulder, neck, and face. She had dozed off once the pain medicine finally started working and Jake hated to wake her up.

"It's ok. She's been waiting for you ever since I called. The first thing she said once they got her cleaned up was to call you," David said, encouraging him.

He stood by her side and sighed, hating seeing her like this, but glad she was alive. He rubbed her arm gently and she quickly woke up.

"Hey, baby," he smiled. "I'm here now. I'm so glad you're ok."

"Daddy," she said happily, reaching out for his hand with her left arm. She squeezed his hand tight and didn't let go as he sat down in a chair beside her.

"What happened?" He asked, looking her body once over. He knew she was cold with the thin gown on and pulled her blanket over her as she began her story.

"We had checked all of our rifles the night before since we had thermal imaging optics practice late that night. We had march practice all morning and we went out to the range after dinner. We got on the ground, in position, the targets dead ahead, and loaded our guns. We fired on command, and mine didn't go off. I felt it jam and panicked. Seconds later, it blew up in my face. They put out the fire quickly, and an ambulance was there in less than five minutes. I can't feel this side of my face. I couldn't feel anything but heat," she said shakily. "They said my skin is completely gone. I don't know because they won't let me see my face."

"Next thing I know, you're here," she smiled, squeezing his hand again.

"They discussed doing a skin graft this afternoon," David said. "I can get an OR open if there's not one already."

Jake looked at his hurting daughter and sighed with a heavy heart. "It's up to you, sweetie."

"This afternoon is fine," she said.

"Very well," David said, going out of the room to notify her doctor.

"So what's been going on with you lately? How was that charity dinner?" She asked, enjoying the time she did get with him since it was scarce. "You went with the First Lady, right?"

"I did. It was a great dinner," he said. "Escorting Senator Richardson was a privilege. She cares about the kids," he smiled, wishing Mellie was here with him right now. "Don't worry about me right now, baby."

"Have you asked her out yet?" Valerie asked. "That smile told me everything I needed to know."

"We've been on a few dates," he admitted, shrugging his shoulders, and couldn't help but grin.

"So you really do like her?"

"I think so," he sighed. "The first time, I just asked her out to hang out. I don't care if we are more than friends or not. And then we ended up hanging out a few more times. So I don't know where we are."

"So you have this friends with benefits thing going on?" She questioned.

"Not _those_ kinds of benefits."

"Not yet," she laughed, and he couldn't help but smile at the sweet sound. "Is she cool?" She asked, rubbing his hand.

"Of course. She's incredibly smart, and caring for the community, and, what else...she's absolutely gorgeous, she has a pet cat, and you should see her with Teddy. Gosh, she is an amazing mother. I could go on for days," he sighed happily. "I need to tell her what day I'm coming back. I was at her house when I got the call."

"What did you tell her?"

"I said nothing. I said I had an emergency to take care of. Nothing more, nothing less. She's worried sick about the President and Olivia Pope and now me, and I told her not to worry. I haven't exactly told her everything about myself," he explained with a sigh.

"I haven't told her about your mother. She doesn't know you exist. She doesn't know anything besides I used to fly planes in the Navy and now I'm a recruiter," he told her, seeing concern in her eyes.

"She doesn't know anything? Not even about Hollis?" She whispered.

He shook his head no and the doctor came in to speak with him. Jake turned around and stood up upon hearing him enter.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Tennen, how are you?" He asked, shaking Jake's hand.

"Jake Ballard, I'm her father," he smiled. "Good to meet you."

Dr. Tennen set his clipboard down on the rolling table and checked Valerie's vitals before talking to them about options.

"We've actually had an opening in the OR, so I could get her in by eight. What we plan on doing is a full thickness graft. We'll remove a thin layer of skin and muscle from her thigh to use for her face and shoulder. I figure she'll be here at least a month since it was so severe. We want to watch it carefully so there's no infection. After that, she'll need assistance dressing the wounds and doing some things for a while. Once it heals, we'll look into reconstructive surgery and more grafts," he explained.

"Will I be able to go back to training?" She asked, desperately not wanting to get behind in Marine training. Her goal was to be a sharpshooter, fly in the planes and take down enemies to protect the country.

"Not right away. It depends on how much feeling she has and nerve damage has been done," he said. "We'll do some therapy once the graft heals."

"Ok," she said, discouraged. Jake squeezed her hand and smiled, listening to the doctor.

"You want to go in at eight?"

"That's fine," she said, looking at Jake for approval. He nodded and she let out a big sigh. She was nervous.

"I'll set it up for then. See you in a few hours," he said with a smile and left the room.

She was terrified. Almost as much as she was when the gun exploded. She didn't know what she would look like afterwards, if she would ever be able to use the right side of her face again.

"Baby, it'll be ok, no matter what happens," he assured her. "I do hope it works out for you to go back to training. I think you will because you don't give up easily. But if it doesn't, we'll figure it out."

They sat in silence for a few minutes and he knew how devastated she was. He wished he could take away this pain from his little girl; he would pay anything for that.

"Would you consider coming to recover in D.C.?" He asked. She raised an eyebrow and he knew she was worried about him bothering her too much if she came.

"I won't smother you, I promise. I would just feel better if you were close to me while you heal. And I kinda want you to meet Mellie," he smiled, and she saw the truth in him. He was truly happy right now. "I want to tell her in person about you and hopefully she could maybe come down here and see you."

"Dad, just go ahead and admit you are in love with her. You two are clearly best friends and a perfect match. And I'll think about it, but only for you. I would love to meet her," Valerie said happily.

"Deal," he laughed. "Do I need to do anything for you? Call anyone?"

"I didn't have them call anyone but you," she laughed half heartedly. "You're all I got. And David knows I'm here, so he can handle things at the base. But I would appreciate it if you could let Katie know when I'm out of surgery."

"Sure thing, kid," he said. He had met Katie one other time and knew she and Valerie were best friends. They had met the first day of training and had stuck through everything together. They encouraged each other when they thought they couldn't go any further. He knew she would be glad to hear about her friend.

Two hours later, Valerie was taken back into surgery. The doctor told Jake and David it would take a couple of hours, but it was nothing major to worry about.

They sat in her room together while she was in surgery, glad she was still alive. They both knew she easily could've been killed, but God was watching out for her. David was on his phone, answering calls and emails from the base. They were calling him about everything.

"Jake, I'm terribly sorry, but I have to head out. Something urgent came up at the base. Please give Valerie my apologies and tell her I'll be back to visit as soon as possible," he said, gathering his things.

"Of course. Thank you for staying with her, David. I know she was scared and so was I when you called. It means a lot," Jake said, shaking his hand.

"No problem. See you later," David said, leaving the room. Jake sat back down in his chair, all by himself now. He pulled out his phone and saw it was nine thirty and he had two new emails; one from his boss and one from Mellie.

He had told his boss what happened and said he would be back as soon as possible. Graciously, his boss replied and told him to take all the time he needed. Jake was grateful that his employer had children and understood where he was at.

He opened the one from Mellie and began reading it carefully.

 _Jake,_

 _I just wanted to give you a heads up in advance. My legal team has begun their investigation into Fitz and Olivia's deaths. They are contacting anyone Fitz or I spoke to within the past few months. They'll contact you soon._

 _Meanwhile, I hope your situation is better. I was awake all night, worried about what's going on. I'm praying for you. You know if you need me or anything for any reason, call me at any time. I'll help in any way I can. Teddy said to tell you hello and he wants to read you a story when you get back._

 _Stay safe. Love you._

 _Xo_

 _Mellie_

Jake smiled at her note, wishing he was with her too. He began typing back without even thinking.

 _They haven't called me yet, but I'll be waiting for them._

 _Things are looking up. If you need to get away or just want to visit, I can give you the address. I'll be here for a few days before I can come back for a day or so. I promise I'll explain soon._

 _Love you_

 _Jake_

He locked his phone and closed his eyes, waiting. Waiting for what seemed like days to see them bring Valerie through the door again. He dozed off, but only for an hour before his phone ringing woke him up.

"Hello?" He said, answering it before even seeing who was calling.

"Hey," the soft, familiar voice said on the other end.

"Hey, Mels," he said, wide awake upon hearing her voice and sitting up straight. "How are you?"

"I'm ok. How are things on your end?" She asked. She was sitting with the legal team in the kitchen, taking a break and watching Teddy and his teacher work hard on his schoolwork. She sat at the head of the table in jeans and one of her leftover campaign shirts with her hair pulled up and glasses on.

"They're better," he said, and she could hear the comfort in his rough voice.

"That's good," she said, and they were quiet for a few moments after that.

"I plan to be back in two or three days."

"Jake, _please_ tell me what is going on. I have gone through every situation I could think of and I still don't know what happened. I need to know you're ok," she said sternly.

"I am fine."

"Then tell me what's wrong," she pleaded.

"I would rather tell you in person."

"At least let me know something-"

"I'll tell you when the time is right, _Mellie_ ," he said, starting to get impatient. He wasn't ready to tell her.

"Why are you acting like you have something to hide?" She asked, stressed out.

"Damn it, Mellie, do I have to have something to hide? Would that justify my not telling you right now? I would just rather tell you in person. It's not something I prefer to discuss over the phone, miles and states apart." He growled angrily. "Do you have any more questions you want to use to weasel answers out of me?"

She sat there in silence, shocked at his attitude with her tonight. She wasn't trying to upset him further, she just tried to understand where he was at right now.

"I didn't think so," he sighed. "I have to go. Bye."

"Bye," she said quietly, hanging up.


	10. Scars

**A/N:** We finally find out who Jake is so worried about, which causes a sense of a lack of trust between Mellie and Jake. Please feel free to leave a review and thank you for reading!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Two days later, Jake boarded Hollis's private jet and flew back to D.C. He went straight to Mellie's house to see how she was doing. He pulled up and saw three times the number of people there when he had left. He pushed past the crowds of reporters with flashing cameras and security in her front yard and made it around the back to her back door, where Francis let him in.

Jake stepped inside and found her home full of her staff, security, lawyers, and various other people. Her staff were handling her Senate duties this week out of the living room, security guards were placed at every door and window, and her legal team was working on the investigation in her kitchen. He looked around, searching for her, when he headed for the stairs and ran into a guard.

"Is Mrs. Richardson upstairs?" He asked quietly.

"She's in her room, waiting for you," the guard nodded, letting Jake by. He ran up the stairs and down the quiet hallway to her bedroom and knocked quietly on the door.

"Who is it?" She asked tiredly.

"It's Jake," he sighed. The door immediately opened and he saw relief in her eyes.

"Jake," she sighed happily, pulling him in the room and shutting the door before hugging him tight. Teddy ran over to him and hugged his leg with a squeal.

"I'm so glad to see you," she said with a smile. "Things have gotten crazy around here. Fitz's funeral is actually happening and the investigation is winding down, I'm trying to keep up with work-"

"Have they found any leads on the investigation?" He asked, giving her a serious look.

"No," she said, wanting to tell him everything. "They were looking the closest at Olivia and his staff, but since she's dead, that leaves the staff. Same goes for her, but they ruled her case a suicide. Overdosed on pain meds, jumped off the bridge. They figure she couldn't stand living without him."

She leaned over and held on to his shoulder while she whispered in his ear, "No one suspects either of us."

He nodded and felt like he could now breathe, like he was free. He had no worries about going to jail now.

"How are things on your end?"

"Jake, can we play dinosaurs?" Teddy asked, coming from the corner and handing him a plastic red triceratops. Jake smiled and took the gift.

"Let me finish talking to your mom and then we'll play, ok?" He negotiated, and Teddy was happy and ran back over to his toys.

"I've kept him close by since you left. I don't want him to get caught up in any more of this than necessary. He still thinks he's just sick. He doesn't understand," she sighed, tears coming to her eyes, her body shaking. "But anyway. How are things on your end?"

"We need to talk about that," he said, leading her over to the bed and sitting down with her. He felt a lump forming in his throat, his mouth got dry, his hands started shaking. He was nervous. He had no idea what she would say. She quietly picked up Teddy and took him to Chelsea. She didn't want him to witness anything he had to say. She came back and sat down, her heart sinking into her stomach.

"The other night, when my phone rang, I knew it wasn't good. I have that ringtone for one person and one person only, the most important person in my life, and it's only used in emergencies," he started. "I answer, knowing calls that late can't be good. Of course, it wasn't."

He stopped, trying not to cry. He looked down and buried his face in his hands, breathing deeply for a few seconds. He shook it off and took her by the hands, and looked into her eyes, seeing the concern and suspense.

"I have a daughter," he confessed. "Her name is Valerie and she's 19. She's training for the Marines and at target practice, her weapon malfunctioned. They deemed it as a manufacturer error, but that doesn't change the fact that it blew up in her face and she had extreme burns to her face, neck, and shoulder. She already had one skin graft."

Mellie's heart dropped, unable to form any words. She squeezed his hand tighter in shock; how could he not have told her he had a daughter?

"I know I should've told you sooner, Mels, and I'm sorry. I just...I've never had to explain my situation to anyone before, and I rarely get to see her due to training. That's why I knew when it was her ringtone...it wasn't good. I really want you to meet her. She wants to meet you, too," he said with a smile.

"I just...I never expected something like this to happen to her. If happened to anyone, it should've happened to me. _I'm_ the firefighter, the one who's supposed to get burned," he said, shedding a tear.

Mellie took it all in, still taken aback by this new information.

"You...you have a daughter," she whispered. "How did she...did you plan to have kids? Where's her mother?"

"She was a one night stand a long time ago. All I knew was her name was Lela.

I get a call months later from the hospital saying I need to come get my daughter, otherwise she was going up for adoption since her mother left. So that's how I got her. And I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I probably wasn't ready, I was only 26, I didn't know anything about taking care of kids. I took care of her as my work let me, which was most of the time, but past that, she stayed with a very good friend of mine. She went straight into training after high school, and I haven't seen her much since. That's why I knew, to get that call that morning, it was something bad. She calls when she can, but never that late. So I had to go to her. And this is why I couldn't tell you over the phone," he sighed.

She couldn't believe it. This man she met, her friend, had a daughter. Someone else in this world to love, someone to wake up for in every morning. He wasn't alone. She never saw him as the fatherly type, but figured he had done a good job with Valerie.

"Is her mother still alive?" Mellie asked.

"I don't know," Jake sighed. "I haven't gone looking for her and Val's never expressed any interest in finding 'the woman who abandoned her', as she calls Lela. But if I had to guess, I would say probably not."

"So she doesn't remember her mother?" Mellie asked, concerned. Jake shook his head no.

"That's terrible," she whispered.

"This is the only life she's known. I assume since she hasn't asked about Lela, she's fine as is," Jake said, trying not to linger on the subject. He could tell Mellie was deep in thought when her phone started blowing up with emails and texts. She opened one after the other, not believing this was happening.

"What is it?" He asked softly. He was nervous deep down, knowing her silence wasn't good.

"I got damage control," Chelsea said as she opened the door without knocking. "Will and Francis have called in back up for these reporters. But I need to know one thing for sure: Jake, have you been seeing someone?"

"Excuse me?" He asked, wondering what she was talking about. She handed him an article and photos of him walking in the hospital in Savannah, getting on Hollis's plane and walking through downtown with Valerie. They both had on sunglasses and his arm was around her. The article headline accused him of ditching Mellie and finding this new girl, another called her a prostitute, one after another portrayed him as the bad guy.

"This is my _daughter_ ," he exclaimed, his face turning red. "How did they get these pictures? I was careful," he growled. "If they need it, we'll do a DNA test to prove it. I need these pictures of her _gone_. Me, I don't care. But get my child out of the media. I'll pay whatever's necessary."

"I'll put out a statement immediately. I'll do what I can on the pictures," Chelsea said quietly, leaving them be.

They sat in silence until Mellie finally took his hand.

"Jake...I am so sorry this happened. I know exactly how you feel right now, but I assure you Chelsea will do whatever it takes to make things right again and settled down. She's the best on the east coast. I would call Valerie and let her know about this before she finds out herself," Mellie explained.

"I will," he said softly, and she knew their status was officially taking its toll on him.

"I know this is upsetting. I do. I've been here too many times. That's just a part of this job, of my life. I've also been on the other side a lot, and people will forget about it in a week or two. I try to keep you out of the tabloids but it doesn't always happen, and I wish I could do more," she explained.

"I know. This isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself," he said, getting up and pulling his phone out, dialing his daughter. He walked up and down the hallway, watching Chelsea on the phone downstairs as she sorted everything out.

"Hey Dad, what's up?" Valerie answered as one of her nurses changed her facial dressing.

"How are you doing, baby?"

"I'm good. Jen's changing my dressing right now. I'm gonna paint my nails after and maybe talk with Cameron, that guy down the hall. What about you? Any plans for today?" She asked.

"Well I was planning on going in to work for a little bit, but those plans might change. Mellie's assistant and PR lady, Chelsea, said there's rumors in the news about you and me. Magazines and newspapers are saying you're my girlfriend, I'm cheating on Mellie, all sorts of ridiculous stuff. I told Chelsea to handle it and make sure it was known you are my daughter. This is just something that's a possibility with me seeing Mellie. I tried to keep us safe, make sure no one saw us. And none of this is your fault at all, baby, I want to make that clear. I'm so sorry. We're doing everything we can here to fix this," Jake explained, feeling terrible for his daughter.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked, her heart sinking. She couldn't be too upset because he was doing the best he could as a dad.

"I'll let you know once I talk with Chelsea. I have to go. I love you, baby," he whispered.

"I love you too, Dad. Bye."

"Bye," he said quietly as they both hung up, seeing Chelsea looking happier than five minutes ago.

"What's up?" Jake asked, leaning over the hallway railing. He still felt a sense of guilt in the pit of his stomach about all this.

"$250,000 and all the pictures are yours to keep and erased elsewhere," she said.

"No strings attached?" He asked; this was too good to be true.

"That's it," she shook her head.

Within two hours, the pictures were delivered to him at the office on a flash drive and a guarantee other digital copies of them were destroyed. Jake handed the man $250,000 in a briefcase and they went their separate ways.

No price, no distance, no length of time would stop him. He would do whatever it took to keep his baby safe.

* * *

The next morning Jake woke up at six to find a peacefully sleeping Mellie beside him. She had spent the afternoon before doing a sit down interview, live on national television, about Fitz's death, how his autopsy proved it was a drug overdose, how he had been using cocaine off and on for the past year, and how life was without the man who cheated on her and destroyed their relationship. She was exhausted, so he decided to let her sleep until she woke up. He smiled and took in her beauty before getting his busy day started, but he still wondered how he gotten to this point. How he ever got to be her escort. How he ever got a date with her. How they became so close.

His past was the only thing in the way of them and their relationship. He was afraid she would figure him out, and he just wanted some normal for both of them. If she ever found out what he did, she would be terrified and leave him. He tried to shake it off and got up, taking a shower and getting dressed. He put on a new pair of jeans, his tennis shoes, and a maroon plaid shirt. He grabbed his pistol and tucked it in his waistband, and clipped his badge next to it. He started downstairs and found everyone still there from the day before, up and working already. The smell of brewing coffee lingered throughout the house and he made his way through lawyers and guards to the kitchen.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the counter, drinking it black for something different. He hesitantly checked his emails, having one from his boss and one from Hollis.

His boss told him to come in a for a few hours before he left today if at all possible. Jake knew he needed to work and knew how gracious his boss was with letting him off, but he was afraid for the first time in ten years.

Hollis, on the other hand, didn't give a damn. He wanted to know where he had been, why he had been getting other people to cover his work, why Cyrus hadn't been dealt with yet. Jake was about to type up an email when he decided he would rather just call him and tell him how he felt.

"Well, look who it is. Good to know you're still alive, barely," Hollis smirked.

"You know I've had business to tend to," Jake sighed. "You know this, my supervisor knows this. So back off."

"Getting testy, are we? I need to know why we ain't gotten rid of Cyrus yet," he said hastily.

"I'm working on it. I got a guy getting me some info. The man never leaves his office and his home. Look, I gotta go. I'm about to leave to go see Valerie."

"Bye," Hollis said.

Jake hung up and finished his coffee, trying to prepare himself for what he might face later today. He just needed to get to the airport, on the plane, and to Savannah. He could handle his own in the air, and he didn't want to use a Navy plane for his personal use.

He was excited to see Valerie again. He knew her graft had been healing well when he left, and if all continued to go well, the doctors would let her see how it looked today and discuss the next step. He hoped he would be able to convince her to come to D.C. to recover and finish the other surgeries. He needed her close to him; his heart couldn't take any more scares like that.

"Hey," Mellie whispered, kissing his stubbly cheek and going over to fix a cup of coffee for herself. He smiled, her soft voice bringing him out of his thoughts. He couldn't figure out how she did that. How just one word, one whisper from her beautiful lips would turn his world upside down. He would fall more in love with her every time she spoke. He took all of her in, from the way she rubbed the sleep from her tired eyes, the way her hair was still in the same messy bun from the night before, how her pajamas clung to her body perfectly, to how her natural beauty lit up the room.

She leaned over the other side of the counter and sipped on her hot coffee, glad to have Jake here.

"Did you sleep well?" She asked softly, seeing Chelsea come into the kitchen in sweatpants and a hoodie to get some coffee. She had stayed here the night, like most of the staff. Difference was, she actually slept some.

"It was really good," he said, telling the truth. He slept better beside her, knowing she was right there with him, that he could protect her, that she was safe in his arms. "What are your plans for today?"

"What time are you leaving?"

Jake looked at his watch and sighed. "I was planning on leaving here at seven thirty and leaving for Georgia at eleven. You coming with?"

"Jake..." She smiled. "You know I want to, but I have to wait until the investigation is finished."

"Word is they'll be done today," Chelsea mumbled as she poured creamer into her coffee. "They've set the funeral for Sunday at eleven."

"Thanks," Mellie whispered, taking another drink of her coffee.

"I can call and see if she would be ok with me waiting on you," Jake offered.

"No, it's fine. I can get a ride there."

"Mellie. Please. I'm going to call her and ask. She would love to meet you," he smiled.

"Fine," she sighed, knowing she wouldn't win this battle. "Do you need me to do anything before you leave?"

"Just...pray everything went well. They're supposed to let her see herself today. They said it's been healing well, but when your face was burned...how much self confidence can you really still have?" He said softly.

"I will," she whispered, understanding how he felt. He was worried about his child and he couldn't do anything to help him. Jake took a drink of his now cold coffee and almost dropped it when Valerie called him.

"It's her," he whispered, looking at Mellie as he answered it. He got up and walked to the patio door, then remembered he shouldn't go outside unless he wanted to be swarmed by cameras.

"Hey baby, how are you doing this morning?" He asked, glad to hear from her.

"I'm fine. Nervous about this afternoon. Ready to get this sweaty bandage off my head," she laughed, also getting a laugh out of him. "How are things there?"

"They're better. The investigation will be finished by early afternoon. President Grant's funeral is scheduled for Sunday, so I'll be back up here then if all goes well today," he told her.

"What time will you get here today?"

"I was actually wondering if you were ok with me waiting a few hours and letting Mellie come with me. She said she would like to meet you as soon as possible," he smiled, and Mellie blushed as she finished her coffee.

"Could she even do that right now?" Valerie asked.

"She can once the investigation is over. If you would rather wait..."

"No, it's fine if she comes with. I'm just...I don't want her seeing me like this the first time meeting. I know it'll be a while before it heals, but...I don't know," she said sadly.

"Val, it's your decision. Don't let me influence you too much. You have a few hours to think about it. We will both understand if you say no. It's fine if you do. You know I will love you no matter what, because you will always be beautiful to me," he assured her. "It will be ok."

Tears came to his daughter's eyes and she wiped her left eye, wishing he was already here and could give her a hug right now.

"I know, Daddy," she whispered happily. "I'll call you around ten. I love you," she said.

"I love you too, baby. I'll see you in a little while. Bye."

He hung up and wiped his eyes, ready to be with her.

"She's embarrassed for you to see her like this," he half laughed. "She doesn't understand you've seen plenty of injured and dead people in your life. Seeing her hurt would be no big deal."

"I don't care what she physically looks like. I know she's got a good heart," Mellie said softly. "Just let me know what she says. I know you need to get on to work soon."

"Unfortunately," he sighed with a smile. "I would rather spend all day with you and Teddy here."

"Then this country wouldn't be safe," she teased. "Is your car here?"

"No, I got a cab here."

"I'll take you to work then," she smiled.

"Mel, can you really do that with the Secret Service breathing down your neck 24/7?" He asked.

"Will," she called from the kitchen, and her head agent came in immediately.

"Yes ma'am?"

"I would like to take Jake to work," she smiled.

"We can drive him-"

"No, I mean _I_ will drive him. One of you can ride with. Or drive a follow car."

"Ma'am, right now the Director would not approve-"

"This wasn't a question. I was stating this to you. You can drive a follow car. We're taking my car," she said, walking past him with Jake in tow, her hand in his, as they went up to her bedroom to get her keys. She grabbed them from her purse and they went to Teddy's room to let him say goodbye to Jake before he left.

Mellie hated to wake him up so early just to say bye, but she knew he would be devastated to know Jake left and no one told him. She knelt beside his bed, holding on to the wooden frame as she rubbed her son's arm gently. He stirred in his sleep, slowly opening his eyes.

"Good morning, baby," she said softly with a smile. He yawned and stretched, wondering why he was up this early.

"Hey," he said quietly as he sat up and laid eyes on Jake. "Jake," he said happily, still waking up.

"Hey buddy," Jake smiled, coming over by Mellie and sitting down.

"Time to play?" Teddy asked, sleepily searching for a toy.

"Not right now. Jake has to go for a few days and wanted to tell you bye before he left," Mellie said softly.

"Oh," he yawned. "We'll play dinosaurs next time," he grinned. "When will you be back?"

"I'll be back late tomorrow night," Jake said. "We'll play on Sunday, ok?"

"Ok," Teddy said, wrapping his little arms around Jake's neck and hugging him tightly. Jake hugged him back, glad Teddy had warmed up to him so quickly. Teddy pulled away and Jake had one last thing to say.

"I need you to do something for me while I'm gone, ok? I need you to watch out for your mom. Make sure she's happy. I bet she would like some of those pretty flowers in the backyard," he whispered, and Teddy's face lit up with a smile as he glanced over at Mellie. "Can you do that for me?"

Teddy nodded excitedly and Jake hugged him again.

"Go back to sleep, little man. You be good. I'll see you tomorrow," he promised. He stood up as Teddy laid back down and Mellie pulled the covers back over her son's small body. She kissed his forehead and smiled, so thankful for Teddy.

"Sleep good, baby. I'll be back in a little while. If you need something while I'm gone, go get Ms. Chelsea or Mr. Will, ok?" She explained, and he nodded in agreement and yawned, closing his eyes. Jake helped her up and they quietly made their way out of the room and down to her car. She noticed Will had sent an agent to follow them in the SUV and she laughed on the inside as she cranked up the car and started down the driveway.

"I am too old to be raising kids," she laughed, her back sore from getting in the floor. "But I love him so much. I don't know what I would do without him."

"You're doing a fine job," Jake assured her as she pulled out onto the side street. "He's a great kid."

"I'm just worried about tomorrow with him," she sighed. "I don't know if he really understands that his dad is gone."

"It'll be ok," he said. "He'll eventually understand if he doesn't already. You've done the best you can in handling this."

She stepped on the gas as they got on the highway, glad they got a minute to spend together. She was still skeptical about him. She didn't know if he could be trusted.

But for some reason, she still did. She still trusted him.

He turned on the radio and turned the volume up, smiling at her. She couldn't help but smile as they raced down the highway, enjoying themselves. This had been rare for them recently. The music shaking the car, the warm sun coming up, and the almost empty road put them both at ease, at least for a moment.


	11. Rise and Fall

**A/N:** I apologize for taking so long to update, but school does come first. I'll try to update more often, and thank you for being patient and still reading! This chapter is mostly learning more about Valerie and her relationship with Jake. Thank you so, so much for reading and please feel free to leave a review!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Jake walked into Valerie's room around four that afternoon with a vase full of various colored roses and a stuffed tiger in one arm and his leather bag over another. Her face lit up upon seeing her father, and he quickly set everything down and went over to her, hugging her tight.

"Dad," she said happily, holding him close for a moment.

"Hey, baby," he smiled as he pulled away and sat on the edge of her bed. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm good. I'm just ready to get up and out of this bed," she laughed.

"I know," he said, wishing he could help. He picked up the stuffed orange and black tiger and handed it to her. "I saw it in the gift shop on the first floor and thought of you."

"He's so cute," she said. "I almost forgot, David said he's bringing Katie over tomorrow. Something about sneaking her out for a little bit. I can't wait to see her."

"That's great," he said happily. He knew she needed some encouragement other than himself.

"Did you tell the nurse you were here? They were waiting on you to get here," she explained.

"I did. They said Dr. Tennen would be by in less than an hour. Are you excited?"

"A little. I'm nervous too. What if it's worse than I expected? I don't even...I can't imagine what I looked like before," she said, trying to fight tears. She was past looks being the center of her world, but she didn't want to be ugly.

"I know these nurses and doctors have done the absolute best job possible with you, and you will still be beautiful," he smiled, squeezing her hand.

"Whatever you say," she laughed. "Did Mellie come along or not?"

"She did. So did Teddy."

"Where are they?"

"At the hotel for now. I told her I would keep her updated and if you wanted to meet them, I would let her know," he explained.

"What's she like? Like, really? Not this crap I see on TV. What is she really like behind closed doors?" Valerie asked after a minute of silence.

"Indescribable," Jake grinned from ear to ear. "You'll see what I mean later."

" _Dad_ ," she groaned, nudging his arm. "Don't be such a tease."

"What fun would that be?" He laughed, hearing Dr. Tennen come in.

"Good afternoon," he said, clipboard in hand and a nurse behind him. "You ready to see how everything looks?"

She nodded nervously and smiled.

He set his clipboard down on the rolling table and Jake got up off the bed, moving to the other side to stand by Valerie while Dr. Tennen checked her out. He checked her eyesight, blood pressure, and heart rate and wrote it all down, ready to take the bandages off.

"Vitals are good," he said happily. The nurse brought in a small rolling cart with some tools on top and picked up a pair of gauze scissors. "You ready, Valerie?"

She looked at Jake and grabbed his hand nervously, and he saw the fear in her eyes.

"Baby, it's ok. I'm right here with you," he assured her. He looked deep in her eyes and wished, at times like this, he wasn't a single parent. That she had a mother figure. That she knew her mother, that they would shop together and gossip and watch movies and get their nails done and everything else girly they would want to do.

"You are still you no matter what, and you're still beautiful. You can do this," he whispered with a smile, kissing the top of her head. She nodded softly at him and then the doctor.

Dr. Tennen gently got the scissor blades between the gauze and her neck and slowly began cutting it off, revealing her still healing skin. Jake knew they had done this awfully fast, and her burns wouldn't fully heal without another graft. As the doctor pulled the gauze away from her face, tears came to Jake's eyes. His little girl looked so good for being burned badly. He knew she still had a long recovery road, but she was doing great so far. He just wondered what she would think. She opened her right eye and saw a smile on his face as Dr. Tennen lowered the shoulder of her gown and began cutting the gauze off her shoulder.

"How do I look?" She asked as Dr. Tennen grabbed a mirror, but didn't give it to her yet.

"It looks really good," they told her and he handed her the mirror. She looked in it and studied her face carefully, running her fingers across her healing neck and up to her jawline. It looked like the right side of her face was sunk in and unlevel with the left side. She couldn't close her eye good because the graft ran all the way to her eyelid, and half her eyebrow was gone. She was thankful her lips still looked normal, but around the right edges were pretty bad. She still had the base of her ear; only the earlobe was gone.

"The stitches should be completely dissolved by tomorrow morning," Dr. Tennen explained. "I would like to do some more graft work on Monday for the eyelid and the mouth, and some on the ear. Then after a week, if everything is going well, we'll plan reconstruction in two more weeks, and therapy after that."

"Ok," she whispered quietly. She was disappointed. She almost hated herself a little for getting on the ground and pulling that trigger.

"Try moving your facial muscles. Do you feel anything then or when you touch it?" He asked. She tried smiling and raising her eyebrows, but felt very little on the outside.

"I don't feel much on the right side. I feel nothing on the outside," she said, and it was then Jake noticed it for the first time. The right side of her mouth barely moved as she spoke. Her right eyelid drooped a little more than normal. All because of some nerve issues. Dr. Tennen pulled gently on the skin at her jawline and asked if she felt that; she did less than before.

"I'll order some electroshock therapy for in the morning, ok? Then if you're not disoriented, you can get up and walk around. I know it's been a long few days, Valerie. You've done so good, and trust me, this is not the end. This is not the final product. You won't always look this way. I am going to do my best to get you back to looking like you did before, ok? I promise," Dr. Tennen said, holding up a fist for a fist bump from the discouraged looking girl. She smiled and bumped him back before he and the nurse took the cart of tools and left the room.

"What do you think?" Jake asked, knowing he was burying himself deep with that question. She scooted over and made room for him to lie down beside her, so he did. He put his arms around her and she snuggled up closely to him.

"That I don't look good," she said under her breath, trying not to cry. "I knew when it happened it was bad, but I didn't expect this."

"Val, you look a little different now, I understand. But you know what? You still are beautiful, inside and out. You're still smart. You're still strong. You're still my Marine-to-be, and you're still my daughter. You still love vanilla cake with no icing, and Nick is still your favorite Jonas brother. You are still _you_ , Valerie. And I still love you," he said, stroking her soft blonde hair back. "I think you can pull off the half shaved head look easy. It looks good on you. No lie."

He got a smile out of her as she wiped her tears away. He always made her feel better, but she was still skeptical about how she looked. She wondered if she would be able to go back to training. Everything she saw through her right eye looked blurry. She couldn't feel her face. She was afraid of her future.

Jake's phone rang and disturbed the peace as he got up out of bed to answer it. He stood over by her window and took the call.

"Hello?" He answered.

"I need your input," Hollis drawled. "Plan is to finish up the job Sunday afternoon. I know you're busy with the funeral and Valerie, so I didn't ask you. But I needed to know who you think is best for it: Ed or Ken?"

"Ken, he has more experience in the international sector. Where is the trip to?" Jake questioned, and Hollis quickly followed his code. He knew he was referring to Cyrus.

"England," he said. "Three British diplomats and the ambassador. Something about a tariff agreement. The diplomats have to cut their trip short, however. Something about other obligations," he hinted.

"Hmm. Ken is your guy. Any way you want it, he can do it. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

Jake hung up quickly and looked back at his daughter, who was sending David a picture of her face for Katie to see before she got here tomorrow. A nurse came in and Valerie sat up quickly.

"Dad...why don't you go get something to eat?" She asked as the nurse came to her side with a bag of puréed food and a clean feeding tube. Jake looked at the nurse and back at his daughter, and realized she was ashamed for him to see her like this. To have to be fed through a feeding tube for the time being.

"I don't...you don't need to see this," she said quietly. "I'm fine."

"Ok," he choked out, taking his phone and wallet and walking out of the room. He took the stairs to the cafeteria on the first floor and bought some coffee. He fixed it up and sat down at a table, calling Mellie.

"Hey, how's it going?" She answered, helping Teddy with copying sentences and math problems as they sat with Will in their hotel room downtown.

"It's going," his voice cracked as he sighed. He couldn't hide his sadness from her.

"Jake, is everything ok? How is she?" She asked worriedly.

"She's doing good. She's upset about how she looks. The damage was worse than she thought. But she looks really good for the amount of burns she had and only having one graft done," he explained. "But I can tell she's trying to push me away."

"Why do you say that?" She asked softly, looking at her and her son in the mirror as they sat on the plushy hotel bed.

"She's ashamed of how she looks and how she is right now. She was so disappointed, and me and the doctor both told her this was not the final product, that she still had more surgeries. They put a feeding tube in and she asked me to leave while she got fed because she didn't want me to see her like that," he broke down, tears streaming down his face. He didn't care who saw him cry in the middle of the hospital cafeteria. He wanted his little girl to be ok with the situation.

"Oh, Jake," Mellie sighed, wishing she was with him so she could comfort him. "She's just trying to be an adult and to protect you. She wants to be strong for you. It's hard, I know. Give her some time. Do you want me to come down there for a minute?"

"I don't want to disrupt your evening," he said. "I'll be ok. I'll come see y'all in the morning. I'll have to leave Sunday after the funeral, though. She's having her second graft early Monday morning."

"Ok," she said. "Call me if you need me. We'll be up a few more hours."

"Ok. Thanks. I love you," he said softly.

"Love you too."

He hung up and finished his cheap tasting coffee and went back upstairs to her room. He stopped at the door, which was still open, and knocked quietly. He hoped they were done by now and he could come back in and be with her. She told him to come in, and he slowly walked into her view. She was still laying there, nothing to do, but this time with a smile on her face.

"The nurse said in an hour she could take me around the floor in a wheelchair if I wanted," Valerie explained excitedly.

"That's awesome," he said, surprised she was allowed to do that this early. "I know you'll be glad to get out of this room."

"Oh yeah," she smiled, and Jake saw the pure excitement on his daughter's healing face.

"How's Mellie?" She asked, treading the subject lightly. She didn't want to seem too interested in this woman she still hadn't met.

"She's helping Teddy with his homework. I might meet with her to eat a bite later," Jake shrugged, wishing she would agree to meet Mellie. He really thought they would get along well, and that Val could use a motherly figure in her life right now.

"After the nurse takes me out, she can come by, if she wants," Valerie said hesitantly. She just wanted some company. And to meet her dad's friend. She wanted to meet the woman he loved.

"You sure? It'll be kinda late then," he asked, making sure she was ready for this.

"I've got nothing but time," she smiled. "It's fine."

"I'll let her know. You need me to do anything for you in the meantime? I feel so bad just coming in and out and not doing much."

"There's not much you can do," she laughed. "I'm laying here with a half burned face I can't feel. I'm not going anywhere. I'm clearly not going back to training soon. So I'm good."

"I'll bring back my laptop for you Monday," he said. "It's _something_ to do."

"Don't you need it?" She asked.

"I have my government issued one, that's all I really need. No big deal."

"If you say so," she shrugged, bending her leg to scratch an itch. "Damn these sponge baths."

"Feel gross?" He questioned, remembering one too many sponge baths he had in his lifetime.

"Not so much that, it's these hospital razors. They don't shave worth a damn and they won't let me shave myself. My legs are itching me to death," she sighed.

"I could go get you some razors and help you shave," he suggested.

"You really don't have to go out tonight and do that," she said. "It can wait until tomorrow."

"I know you'll feel better. There's a store at the end of the block. I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

"Ok," she agreed, knowing he wouldn't let it go. He stood up and put on his jacket, then put his phone in his pocket.

"Call me if you need me. I'll be back ASAP," he promised, kissing her forehead and leaving. She rolled her eyes as he left, knowing he cared. He just cared a little too much sometimes.

He came back ten minutes later with a plastic bag containing a Sprite, razors, shaving cream, and a crossword puzzle book. He pulled out everything but the Sprite, and realized she couldn't have it anyway. He felt terrible, remembering she was having trouble swallowing, but she was still breathing fine, so they didn't put a trach in. He left it in the bag by his jacket on the couch and handed her the crossword puzzle book and some pens.

"It's the best they had. Let me get some warm water and a towel and let's get these legs shaved," he joked, handing her the package of five blade razors and pink shaving cream as he went into her bathroom. She sat up in bed and opened the package, then folded back her blankets enough to get her legs out. She began to apply shaving cream to her legs, but knew she wouldn't be able to shave herself. Her vision in her right eye was too blurry and made her dizzy when she focused on something.

Jake came back out with a pan of warm water, a washcloth, and a towel and set it on her rolling table as he rolled up his sleeves.

"You want to do this or do I get such an honor?" He smiled.

"You get it today," she forced a smile back. "I'm too dizzy. My eye is blurry."

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll be gentle," he said, uncapping a razor and starting to shave his daughter's legs. She leaned back and closed her eyes, not worried at all with him doing it. It felt good, it felt clean to her. She was thankful and happy for him being there. She breathed a little easier when he was around. She knew his almost never being there wasn't his choice, and he gave her the best he could. She had gone to the best schools and now was in training to be a Marine. But every time they were together again, he made up for a lost time somehow. He would go above and beyond; he would make her worst day into the best. He would do anything for her, anything at all. He was the best dad anyone could ever ask for.

She was awakened maybe ten minutes later when he was finished shaving her legs and putting on some lotion. She couldn't believe she had gotten at such peace she had fallen asleep.

"Sorry I fell asleep," she said, rubbing her left eye and feeling her now smooth, soft legs. "Thank you. It means a lot. You did good."

"It's nothing," he said, taking the pan of cool, soapy water to the bathroom. He rinsed it out and washed his hands, and found her with her hand over her right eye as she worked a crossword puzzle.

"I see better this way," she explained, carefully writing the letters of the word "Broadway" in the tiny, blank boxes.

"I bet your nurse could get you a sexy eye patch. Impress that boy down the hall," he smirked, sitting down beside her.

" _Dad_ ," she groaned, now smiling as her cheeks turned red. "We're in a hospital, not looking for love. Chill out."

"I'm just messing," he said. "But I'll get you an eye patch if you want."

"After Mellie comes," she said.

"Mellie doesn't care what you look like, Val. She would rather you not be dizzy. But it's your call. Don't stress about her coming," he explained. "If it makes you feel any better, she's excited to meet you too. A little nervous."

"The former First Lady nervous to meet me? _Please_ ," she rolled her eyes with a smile. "I'm nothing special."

Her phone buzzed with a call, and she picked it up off the table to see it was David. She answered it quickly, glad to hear from someone.

"Hello?"

"It's Katie. I can't talk long. He snuck me out to the nurse after I faked a 103 fever. How are you? I'm so glad you're ok," she said rapidly.

"It's so good to hear your voice," Valerie sighed. "I'm fine. As fine as I can be, anyway. How are things there?"

"Boring. Same as usual. 5 am run, ropes, pool, march, target practice, gym, dinner, cleaning, bed. We've had three random drills since you've been gone, though. It's not the same without you," she sighed.

"I hate not being there. It's way better than this hospital bed," she laughed. "You still coming tomorrow?"

"I hope so. He's trying his hardest to make it work," Katie explained. "I gotta go. He'll call ahead of time. Hang in there. Bye."

"Bye."

She set her phone down and the nurse came back to take her out in the wheelchair. Valerie's face lit up as she worked with her good arm and Jake's help to get out of the bed and into the chair. She was too weak to stand on her own and Jake held her up with all his strength, and she felt as light as a feather. He hated seeing her down and frail like this. But once he saw her smile and her beautiful eyes light up, he was happy too. He followed her and the nurse down the hall, Valerie waving to everyone. She said hello to other patients, glad to see people who looked like her, other people that had been burned. She felt at ease, at home with these people. She even went by the cute boy three rooms down, and they smiled at each other, her getting a wink from him. She immediately blushed as the nurse turned the corner and went down the other wing of the burn unit. Jake couldn't help but smile and texted Mellie, telling her to come on down. He took a picture from behind of Valerie in the wheelchair and sent it to her, unable to express the joy, the excitement, the overflowing happiness he felt for his daughter right now.

They got back to her room ten minutes later and Valerie was much more cheerful, her spirits lifted as she and the nurse talked as she checked her vitals one more time. The nurse promised to put in a good word with the boy down the hall, Cameron. Jake was at the nurses' station, trying to get Mellie and her security team visitor passes for the floor. They had already received a call about them on the ground floor and Jake told them he would be down in a moment. He took the stairs and made it to the front desk, where Mellie, Teddy, Will, Francis, and four other agents stood, overjoyed to see Jake. The nurse was not having their guns, despite their Secret Service badges on their waists.

"They're with me," Jake told the nurse at the front desk. She gave him a suspicious look and he handed them all visitor passes to put on, and she raised an eyebrow.

"And who are you here with?" She asked. He held out his wrist for her to see his family wristband.

"Valerie Ballard. I'm her dad, Jake," he said confidently. She gave him another unsatisfactory look and let them go.

"You can go this time. But no more than three visitors in the room at one time," she said, and Jake was already taking them over to the elevator.

"It's so good to see you," Mellie whispered to Jake as they got in. Teddy hugged his neck, getting closer to Jake every time they were together.

"Can we read a story tonight?" He asked politely, and Jake smiled.

"You know, we're going to see my daughter, and she likes stories too. You think I could read it to the both of you?" Jake asked, and Teddy grinned and nodded. Jake laughed as they reached the burn unit and got to 405. Will and Francis agreed to stay at the door while Mellie and Teddy went in with Jake.

Valerie was in shock when they came in. It finally hit her. Mellie was the former First Lady, someone she had only seen on TV, and she was practically her dad's girlfriend. She was in her room, in her presence in this very moment. Mellie was wearing jeans and a white blouse under a light gray sweater. She even had her signature pearl earrings in, Valerie noticed.

"Mellie, Teddy, this is my little girl, Valerie," Jake said proudly, and Valerie couldn't do anything but smile out of shock.

"She's not little," Teddy commented, and she laughed.

"No, she's not," Jake laughed. "You wanna show her your dinosaurs?"

"Yes!" Teddy said excitedly, running over to the chair by her bed with his bag of dinosaurs. He unzipped it and pulled every dinosaur out, all twenty-three, and set them on her bed, naming each one for her. He convinced her to play for a few minutes before Jake stepped in.

"Hey little man, can your mama talk with Valerie? Y'all can play some more in a little bit," he promised.

"Ok," Teddy said, picking up his dinosaurs off the bed and taking them to the couch by the window to continue playing. Mellie sat down on one side of her bed while Jake went to play with Teddy, trying to give them space.

"Your dad has told me a lot about you," Mellie smiled. "You are his entire world."

"Trust me, I can say the same for you. He won't admit it," Valerie laughed nervously. "I can't believe _you_ , the former First Lady, are sitting in _my_ hospital room right now. I just...I don't know what to say."

"It's nothing, really. That's _long_ gone," Mellie laughed.

"I'm sorry to hear about President Grant," she said softly.

"Oh, honey, thank you. No need to worry. Me and Teddy are fine," she said, brushing it off. "I'm the one who's starstruck, sitting with a Marine in-training. You're the brave and important one, getting ready to serve your country."

"If I ever get there," she laughed. "Nah, it'll be ok either way. I've figured that out since being here. God knows what I should do."

"Exactly," Mellie said. "You know, when your dad got the call that you were hurt, he was at my house. We had fallen asleep and he heard his phone, answered it, and left in five minutes. Never explained anything. He was on a plane in less than 30 minutes. He was terrified," she explained. "When he told me he had a daughter, I couldn't believe it. But I was glad you were ok, even though we had never met. I could tell that you are his world and if something happened, he would be destroyed."

"He didn't tell me about you until he got here, if it makes you feel better," Valerie smiled. "I didn't believe him at first. 'Mellie Grant? No way,' I said," she laughed. "He told me about the gala and he just went for it."

"He was bold," Mellie smiled. "So tell me about you. Anything you want, as little or as much as you want."

"There's not much to it besides I was in training to be a Marine when this happened. I had been there close to five months. One of my friends is supposed to come see me tomorrow. Once my gun exploded, though, I never thought I'd hear silence again. I heard sergeants and instructors and students and medics yelling all around, giving out orders. It's hard to forget that. They're supposed to test my hearing tomorrow to see if I need a hearing aid for my bad ear now," Valerie said. "I know God has a time and place for everything and a reason for things happening, but...I'm still trying to figure out why He chose me for this."

"He always has a good reason," Mellie smiled. "So how many more procedures do you have here?"

"Another graft or two, then therapy. Dad hopes they can get my therapy transferred to a place in D.C. so I can be closer to him. I wouldn't mind it at this point," she said softly. "So what do you do when you're not busy with the Senate?"

"I work with different charities I support, and go visit Virginia and answer letters and questions the people there have for me. All sorts of things," she said. "Do you like getting your nails done?"

"Yeah, that would be fun," she said happily.

"I was thinking next weekend I could bring my assistant Chelsea down here and we could have a little girls' night, do our nails, do our hair, stuff like that," Mellie suggested.

"That would be great," she said. "We could dye my hair and Dad couldn't say no," she whispered. "I was thinking a few blonde streaks, we could shave something in what's left of my hair," she said, rubbing the shaved spot on the right side of her head. She and Mellie laughed and made plans for next weekend, getting loud enough to draw attention to themselves. Jake smiled and set a dinosaur down.

"Sounds like they're having a blast without us," he said loudly to Teddy.

"It's just girl talk, Dad," Valerie laughed. "You wouldn't get it. Pretty sure you don't care to hear about manicures and periods."

"I'm down for anything. Bring it on," Jake fired back with a smile, continuing playing with Teddy.

"Do you need me to do anything for you in the meantime?" Mellie offered.

"You have a funeral to worry about. Don't worry about me," she shook her head. Mellie took her hand and looked her dead in the eyes.

"Woman to woman here. Just you and me. I am here for you, ok? I know we just met, but I've been in your position - not having someone to watch out for you, feeling a sense of vulnerability, hurt, a feeling of being lost. I want to help you in any way I can. So please, don't hesitate to ask me for help," she explained to this hurt little girl next to her. Tears came to Valerie's eyes; she had never had a womanly figure close to her in her life. Jake did everything he could for her, and it was nice seeing his mom when she was younger and she was alive. But she had never had anyone like this before.

"Ok," she smiled, wiping her eyes and hugging Mellie tightly. Everyone said their goodbyes for the night since Valerie was getting tired. Jake turned down her lights and walked Mellie and Teddy downstairs and by the time he got back, she was already fast asleep. But he noticed she looked more peaceful, more at ease.

He laid down on the couch and pulled out his phone, texting Mellie good night.

"Thanks for coming. It meant a lot to both of us," he sent.

"We had a good time, too. I really enjoyed talking to Valerie," she sent back as she rode back to her hotel, her eyes filling with tears. She couldn't help but miss her children, her son, whose life was taken far too early; and her daughter, who rebelled against her and ran away. She was thankful Valerie was so grateful for Jake.

"I think she liked talking to another woman, a motherly figure for her to look up to," he replied.

"Just cherish this time. Be glad she's grateful for you and loves you. Don't let go of her," Mellie sent, wiping her eyes. Jake sighed and didn't realize until now how much talking to Valerie reminded her of her own children, close to the same age.

"I will. And I'll never let go," he sent back and closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep.


	12. Company

**A/N:** Valerie finally gets to see her friend from training again, and spend more time with Cameron, the guy down the hall from her. Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave a review. Thanks!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Valerie sat in a recliner early the next morning down the hall, getting electroshock therapy on her face and neck. Jake rarely slept when he was here, so when the nurse helped her clean up this morning, Valerie sent him to go spend some time with Mellie and relax and sleep. Valerie was fine on her own here. The nurse had placed the shock pads on the healthy areas of her skin and told Valerie to relax because this would take at least thirty minutes. Valerie sighed and looked at the clock - 9 a.m. couldn't come fast enough, but all she had right now was time. Katie wasn't supposed to get there until two that afternoon. The nurse started the shock waves and the tingle surprisingly felt good to Valerie. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, thinking about how drastically her life had changed in the past week. She went from being in great shape in training to a hospital bed. The pain medicine she got twice a day made her loopy afterwards, and her blurry vision made her dizzy. Between those and keeping infection away, she was physically exhausted. She desperately wanted to get up out of bed and walk around, but she was too dizzy, even with Jake holding her up. She had to constantly remind herself how lucky she was to just be alive right now.

"Well, what have I done to deserve the honor of sitting beside such a beautiful woman this morning?" Cameron asked as his nurse wheeled him in and helped him in the recliner by Valerie.

She opened her tired eyes and saw his comforting face and smiled.

"You tell me," she grinned. "How you feeling today?"

"Good so far. I get to start physical therapy this afternoon," he said. "Not so sure about that. How about you?"

"Well, I got my pain medicine about an hour ago, so I feel great," she smiled. "Better with this unflattering eye patch," she sighed.

"It doesn't look as bad as you think," he said as the nurse placed the shock pads on his legs. "It's cute, actually."

"You're just saying that," she said.

"Whatever you want to think," he shrugged, stretching his legs out, getting comfortable as the therapy started. "Isn't your friend coming today?"

"That's the plan. You want to meet her? She's a badass," Valerie bragged.

"Sure, if she has the time. It's nice to see a new face, but you understand that," he said.

She nodded and leaned back again, grabbing a blanket nearby to put over her bare legs and closing her eyes. She was at ease right now, not in pain. She was almost asleep when she felt Cameron take her hand in his. She didn't open her eyes right away, but she was surprised. She peeked at him a few minutes later and saw he, too, was asleep and comfortable. So she closed her eyes again and quickly fell asleep, feeling safe with him.

* * *

Jake waited patiently in the burn unit waiting room for David, Valerie's drill instructor, and Katie to come to visit Valerie. He knew she would be so excited to see one of her friends, since being cooped up in this hospital just made her miss training even more.

Not five minutes after the clock struck two, David and Katie came in, both in uniform. They had made the short flight from Albany to Savannah and were ready to see Valerie. Jake stood up and shook both of their hands, got them visitor passes, and gave them a report on Valerie before they went to see her.

"How is she, Mr. Ballard?" Katie asked worriedly.

"She's doing much better than when you last saw her. She still needs two more skin grafts, more electroshock therapy, physical and occupational therapy. She has an eye patch on for blurry vision, something that may or may not heal it on its own. She has a hearing aid in, and is still using a feeding tube. The doctors are still concerned about her ability to swallow. She can move her arm well and her facial muscles, but can't always feel them. She is doing very well, though. She's excited y'all are coming to see her," he explained, and Katie was almost afraid to see what Valerie looked like as they walked down to her room. She remembered seeing her right after the accident and wondered how anyone could heal from that.

Jake opened her door slowly and announced their presence, hoping she was awake. Electrotherapy had done her good earlier, and left her energized.

"Hey baby, there's someone here to see you," he said, seeing the excitement on her face. Even though she could still only move the left side of her mouth well, her smile was still just as beautiful. The second Katie saw her, they squealed and Katie ran and hugged her tightly, so glad to see her friend was ok. She didn't care that David was watching, no matter how unprofessional she was being. Valerie made room for her to sit in bed with her and she began telling Katie about everything she had been through. David looked at Jake and smiled.

"I give them two hours, tops. Want to go for a walk and leave them be?" He suggested.

"Why not?" Jake shrugged, and they went to enjoy the fresh, warm air outside, even if it was just a walk around the block and a possible smoke break.

Once Valerie told Katie everything about her eye patch, hearing aid, shaved head, Cameron, and her girls' night date with Mellie and Chelsea this upcoming weekend, Katie filled her in on everything she had missed at the base. They had done a fundraiser the day before for her, four people had dropped out of training, they were still being cautious with their rifle training, and the morning runs were only getting worse as the weather got warmer.

"As bad as they were, I would give anything to be there right now," Valerie said. "I'm supposed to meet with the optometrist Wednesday about my eye. That's really what's keeping me in this bed. I get so dizzy, even with this eye patch, I can't stand up much."

"I like your hair though. The style fits you well," Katie smiled. "And I didn't even know you had a hearing aid in until you mentioned it."

"Really? It feels more noticeable," Valerie said.

"Nah, it barely is. Honestly, you look really good. When your dad told us about how you had been doing on the way up here, I was afraid. All I remembered was the condition you left in that day. I wasn't expecting such a quick recovery. I should have expected nothing less, knowing how tough you are," she laughed.

"That's what he keeps telling me too. I can get past the looks, I'm just worried about the functioning now. There's severe nerve damage to all the burned areas. The right side of my mouth and eye aren't working right. I can't hear out of that ear well. If I can't get back up to full use of my face and arm, I won't be able to come back," Valerie sighed.

"I believe in you, Val. You'll be back. So do I get to meet this boy you keep blushing about every time I mention him?" she teased.

"He's supposed to text me when he's out of physical therapy. He's excited to meet you, too. I secretly think he's intimidated by military girls," Valerie laughed.

"He should be," Katie grinned. "So what do you do for fun around here?"

"Honestly I haven't had much time for 'fun'. It's been two surgeries, physical and occupational therapy every day. Pain medicine and antibiotics to fight infection that keep me high. Cream and bandages to help the skin heal. Three meals a day through this lame feeding tube. But in the minute amounts of free time I get, I have watched two movies and read this book Cameron let me borrow. I talk to him if I get bored, really," Valerie explained. "I go around the halls and tell people hello. Or I sleep. Sleep is rare. I always have a nightmare about the gun exploding on me."

"I wish I come keep you company more often," Katie said sadly. She hated seeing her friend like this, to go from perfectly healthy to cooped up in a hospital bed all day. "First chance you get, you should come out and visit."

"Trust me, I will," Valerie smiled. "You want to go get something to eat since you're out for a minute? Something edible, that is?" She laughed.

"David said we could pick up Chick-Fil-A before we went back," she smiled. "But you read my mind."

"I'm just good like that, I guess," Valerie shrugged teasingly. Silence filled the room for almost a minute before Katie spoke up again.

"If you don't get to come back, what will you do?" She asked, and Valerie sighed, having to keep in mind that that could be a very real possibility.

"I'm not sure yet, to be honest. Probably enroll in community college in the fall, unless I could be hired by the military somehow. I'm not too worried yet. My dad is more so than me," she smiled. Katie grinned, missing her friend's sense of humor.

"Community college? I expected nothing less than an Ivy League school," she teased back.

"I don't really know what I would major in, anyway. It wasn't part of the plan until now, so I never had to think about it," Valerie explained, and her phone buzzed with two new texts shortly after.

"Cameron said he's on his way back from therapy and is gonna stop by," she smiled happily. Katie could see it was real happiness on her friend's face and not just for show. She really was interested in this guy, even if it was just as friends.

"Why is he here?" She asked.

"Gas tank explosion. Burned his legs. He ended up having one foot amputated," Valerie explained.

"See, you two already have something in common," Katie nudged Valerie's arm, getting a small laugh out of her.

"Whatever," Valerie sighed contently. "We are still _just_ friends, ok?"

"Ok, whatever you say," she playfully threw her hands up in the air, agreeing with her friend. Cameron knocked on the door a few minutes later and rolled in in a wheelchair, giving his nurse the heads up that he could get around on his own. She smiled and quietly left, and Cameron immediately relaxed. Katie looked him over twice, taking in all his features. His red zippered hoodie over his hospital gown, his dark brown waves long enough he could almost put them in a ponytail, his blue eyes, and his muscular arms all spoke to her. She was impressed with Valerie's taste in men and could tell from the two of them being in the same room together that they liked each other.

"Always breathing down my neck," he joked. "You must be Katie?" He extended his hand and she eagerly shook it.

"I am. You must be Cameron. I've heard a lot about you," she smiled, and Valerie blushed slightly.

"Same goes for you," he said. "Val's told me a lot of stories about training."

"Maybe, like, five," she grinned. "Not _that_ many."

"Sure," Katie knew better. She knew how much Valerie loved to tell stories of her life experiences.

"So Katie, you like to play cards?" He asked, pulling a deck of cards out of his jacket pocket.

"What did you have in mind?" She asked curiously. He glanced at Valerie and smiled and she burst into laughter, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"Spades, spoons, old maid, the usual," he began shuffling the deck.

"Bring it," Katie said, ready to play whatever he threw at her.

They played cards for almost an hour before David and Jake came back, letting them know it was unfortunately time for Katie to go. She hugged Valerie tightly as they said goodbye, promising to stay in touch as she could and come back as soon as they got a break. She told her to keep her head up, and that she was ready to see her soon back out at the base.

Valerie was so thankful for her supportive friends. As Katie and David left, Cameron sat on her bed and they talked for almost an hour, holding hands as she slowly fell asleep.

Jake was even more thankful.


	13. Au Revoir

**A/N:** I know it's been a while since I've updated, and I do apologize. I have the the ending finished and just a few parts after this chapter to wrap up and then I can upload more. It being summer also gives me more time now. I hope you'll keep reading regardless and thank you for reading!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Mellie's phone rang late Saturday afternoon while she unpacked her suitcase and supervised Teddy doing his homework. She saw it was an unknown number and handed the phone to Will, who had been staying close by all day, knowing Fitz's funeral was quickly approaching. She was a nervous wreck, in no condition to be planning this funeral. He took it and answered politely, wondering who had her number.

"Hello? Yes, this is her phone number. May I ask who's speaking?" He asked, looking towards Mellie, then to his feet.

"Of course. Yes ma'am. One moment," he said, pulling the phone from his ear and covering the speaker with his hand.

"Who is it?" Mellie asked curiously.

"It's Karen. She would like to speak with you," he said, offering her the phone. She took it without hesitation and remembered she had to play it cool.

"Senator Richardson," She answered in her usual business tone.

"Mom? It's Karen. I borrowed a friend's phone to call," she said meekly.

"Karen," Mellie whispered. "How are you?"

"I'm doing ok. I'm actually in town right now. I...decided to come to the funeral," she said.

"That's good. I know you weren't on the best terms with your father, but it would have meant a lot to him that you came."

"Yeah. Mom?" Karen looked around her friend's ratty apartment and back at herself, wondering why she made this choice. Her "friends" were smoking weed and this place was a mess, just like her.

' _I'm only seventeen,'_ she thought.

"Yes?" Mellie answered, knowing what she was about to ask next.

" **Can I come home?** "

Mellie felt a wave of relief wash over her as tears streamed down her face. Her daughter was coming home, coming back to her, to join this family again.

"Of course you can," she said, trying to mask her emotions. "Should I send someone to pick you up?"

"Please," Karen said, ready to be home and take a hot shower and eat. She heard rumors about her and Jake and wondered if they were true. "I'll text you the address," she whispered.

"Ok. I'll see you soon," she said happily.

"Bye," Karen said, shedding a tear as she hung up. She was so ready to go home and see her mother again. She packed the few things she had with her and texted Mellie.

Mellie gave the address to Will and immediately called Jake, who was sitting with Valerie and Cameron playing spades. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and got up from the table. Valerie knew it was either Mellie or his boss and Cameron nudged her arm as Jake walked away.

"It's his girlfriend," she smiled. "He'll just be a minute."

"Hey, what's up?" He asked.

"Jake..." She cried, trying to find the words to speak.

"Mel, what's wrong? Is everything ok?" He asked worriedly, looking at Valerie.

"She's coming home," she whispered. "Karen called me and wanted to come home for the funeral."

"Wow," Jake sighed. "That's great. I can't wait to meet her. If that's ok with you," he said. "I'll be there early tomorrow."

"We'll see how things go. I'm afraid she might leave again," Mellie said.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes. Everything will work out, ok? I'll pray for y'all. I love you," he said softly.

"Thanks. I love you too," she said, smiling at the small gesture. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I can't wait. Bye," he said.

"Bye."

Mellie hung up her phone and tried to calm her nerves. She hasn't been this nervous since waiting to see if Fitz was still alive after getting shot. She paced around her room, waiting for Will to text her and say they were on their way back to the house. She wondered if she should change out of her jeans and light gray cotton blouse and into something nicer. She looked across the room and saw Teddy still quietly doing his homework, and wondered how she could've forgotten him in all this.

"Hey, Ted," she said as she got in the floor beside him. "You almost done?"

"Almost," he said with two more lines to go on his handwriting sheet.

"That's good," she smiled. "Someone is coming to visit us tonight," she said eagerly.

"Who?" He asked with curiosity in his eyes.

"Your big sister Karen. She's going to stay with us for a little while," Mellie explained.

"Where's she been, Mama?"

"At her friend's house. She wanted to go visit her," she said, wondering if he even remembered his sister.

"She never visited us," he said, finishing his sheet and handing it to Mellie.

"She didn't, did she?" She sighed. "Good job, buddy."

"When's Jake coming?" He asked, standing up and gathering his homework to take to his room.

"In the morning."

"Can we have pancakes for breakfast?" Teddy asked before running out the door and down the hall.

"Yes, baby," Mellie said, emotionally drained right now. She just wished Jake was here so they could hold each other for a few minutes, at least, and forget about everything else. She continued to unpack the rest of her belongings and put away her red suitcase in her closet. She could hear Teddy playing with his action figures and dinosaurs down the hall and couldn't help but smile at what a good little boy he was. She sat down on the bed and heard a car door and grabbed her phone, realizing she had missed Will's text ten minutes ago.

She went and got Teddy and followed him down the stairs, running to the front door. He stood on his tip toes and opened the door with all his strength to reveal Karen walking towards them and Will behind her, carrying the one suitcase she took with her. She hugged Mellie tightly, tears streaming down her face, and Teddy didn't know what to think. Will set her suitcase down and Teddy ran into his arms, a little afraid of this new person in the house.

"I missed you two," Karen said quietly, still holding on to her mom.

"We missed you too. I'm so glad you're safe," Mellie said, pulling away to look her once over. She seemed to be unharmed and ok. Karen saw Teddy watching her from Will's arms and she slowly approached him.

"Hey, Teddy. How are you?" She asked, getting no reply.

"What do we tell her, Ted?" Will said softly, and Teddy shook his head no.

"Do you remember me? I'm your big sister, Karen," she said, hoping he would warm up to her.

"Karen," Teddy said softly, and looked at Mellie.

"You remember her, buddy?" She asked, and Teddy shook his head no.

"Well I bet she would play with you. Why don't you go show her your dinosaurs and cars?" Mellie suggested, and Teddy quickly got down and looked up at Karen, then ran to the stairs. He turned around to make sure she was following and ran to his room, watching her come up the stairs the whole time.

Mellie knew Karen was hurt by Teddy not remembering her, but she also knew there was nothing she could do to make him remember. He was much younger when she left, and usually at boarding school anyway.

She hoped they would get along and have a close relationship quickly. They were all she had left.

* * *

Later that night after Teddy had gone to bed and Karen had a hot shower and cleaned up, she and Mellie sat down at the kitchen table, just to talk. Mellie was exhausted, but she felt the need to talk with her daughter after being apart for so long. She looked at the young girl across from her wearing one of her t-shirts and some sweatpants since she barely had any clothes to her name.

"I'm not going to play twenty questions and ask where all you went and what all you did. That's your choice to volunteer that information or not. All I want to know is are you ok?" Mellie asked sincerely. "Mentally, physically, emotionally, are you ok?"

"No," Karen whispered. "Dad is dead. Not that he meant a lot to me. It's just the fact he's dead. He was sleeping with Olivia and moved her in as soon as he divorced you and had been doing drugs behind our backs. Will filled me in," she said quietly, looking down at her still full coffee cup she held in her hands. It was now cold, but she liked having something to hold on to.

"He's gone. He did this to himself," she sighed, and tears came to Mellie's eyes. She felt the guilt eating away at her, and she knew she could never tell anyone.

"Why would he take himself away from his own family like that?" Karen wiped a tear from her cheek and Mellie reached across the kitchen table and held her hand.

"I don't know, baby," Mellie sighed. "I honestly don't. He was selfish. Always had been. He had been dealing with some things and went too far."

"Why didn't he love us?" She whispered, needing answers she had desired most of her teenage life.

"I believe he did, Kare. He just...expressed it differently than most people," Mellie tried to explain, but Karen was still skeptical. They didn't say anything for close to a minute and Karen took a deep breath, ready to just tell her mother everything she had done.

"I...prostituted myself once," Karen sighed, ashamed to be telling her mother this. "I needed the money so my friends wouldn't kick me out. They didn't try to help me at all, not like they promised. They were never my friends. I was afraid of coming home."

"Why were you afraid?" Mellie asked, trying to not get hung up on the fact her daughter just admitted to prostitution.

"I was afraid you and Dad wouldn't take me back. That I had caused enough trouble as it was. That I would I never live up to anything or get into to the right schools or put on a good enough face all the time," she sighed. "I let you down."

"Baby, we would always take you back. You are worth so much more than you believe. Were we disappointed? A little. But we still love you and are still proud of you. I know things have been hard. It wasn't any easier for us, trust me. But I still love you, Karen," she said with a smile.

"I love you, too," Karen said, glad her mom wasn't visibly angry or overly upset, to her knowledge, anyway. "I think going to go to bed. I'm exhausted.

"Ok, baby. We can talk some tomorrow if you want. You can talk to me or Will or a therapist or whoever you want. Whoever you're comfortable with," she assured her daughter. "I hope you sleep good. Come get me if you need me."

"Thanks," Karen said, getting up and walking around the table to hug her mother goodnight. She couldn't help but relax as she felt that warmth that only a mother's love could give wash over her body and heart.

She was glad to be home.


	14. Shots Fired

**A/N:** Things start to get real for Jake and Mellie, they're no longer in their own little world. Reality has crept in, maybe for the worst. Please feel free to leave a review!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from _ABC_ 's Scandal or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Mellie's phone rang at five a.m. two weeks later, waking her up an hour earlier than normal. She woke up enough to recognize it was Chelsea's ringtone, and hearing from her any earlier than seven was not good.

"Hello?" Mellie muttered into the phone sleepily, sitting up in bed and turning on her bedside lamp. She had only gotten to go to bed at midnight, so she knew today was going to be a long day.

"I just wanted to let you know I'm on my way over and already called in more security. I just got ahold of this morning's copy of the Post and flipped through a few tabloids. You and Jake are all over it, rumors everywhere. I'm handling it best I can. I'm sending you what I have. Should I warn him or do you want to?" Chelsea said, and Mellie sighed loudly.

She just wanted a friend, and their relationship got twisted and mangled by the tabloids. She knew this would happen one day, but she hoped it wouldn't happen with Jake. She had managed to stay out of the headlines for a little while besides Fitz's death and the countless interview offers associated with that. She did one and turned down the rest. She only needed to explain herself once.

"I'll call him. Can he come over here?" She asked, not knowing how he'll react.

"If you want to add fuel to the fire. If you want to stay friends, I wouldn't. You'll have enough trouble getting past the paparazzi when you leave for work," Chelsea said.

"Ok. I'll have Will waiting for you at the door. I'll be ready in thirty minutes," Mellie told her, thankful for the warning.

"Ok, bye," she said, hanging up. Mellie hung up and got up and headed for the shower. She needed to think this over before calling Jake. She hated he saw this side of her life, always being watched. He told her he understood the circumstances from the beginning, but he hadn't really experienced this before now.

She opened the email from Chelsea on her phone and looked through the magazine and newspaper headlines, all suggesting she had been cheating on Fitz with Jake or she used him as a rebound, along with countless other ridiculous rumors. There were pictures of them at the hospital together, out to eat, near the Capitol, even pictures of them separately at the funeral. She tried not to get angry and called Jake, only to have it go straight to voicemail.

"Jake, it's me. Call me back as soon as you can. It's important."

She hung up and went to get in the shower and prayed he would return her call.

* * *

As Mellie and Will got Teddy loaded up in the SUV to go to kindergarten around seven fifteen, she began to worry about not hearing back from Jake. She wondered if he was ok, if he was ignoring her, or if his phone was dead. She pushed it all to the back of her mind and brushed it off as him still being asleep.

Jake rolled over in bed and stretched, feeling incredibly rested for a Monday morning. He looked at his alarm clock and saw it was 7:28 and panicked - he needed to be at the office by eight, and it took him fifteen minutes to get across town. He rushed out of his warm bed and into the shower, barely having time to shave. He brushed his teeth while he got dressed in his blue Navy working uniform, carefully watching the time. He combed his hair and grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone, and headed out the door to the office.

Jake pulled up to the Navy office that morning around eight and saw the parking lot was full of cameras and reporters. Some surrounded the door, some waited in their vehicles, but they all flocked toward him when they saw his truck. He wondered why his boss hadn't called him about it or called the police yet. He saw three missed calls and four new texts from Mellie and sighed, hating he didn't check them sooner. This was real for him now.

He grabbed his bag out of the passenger seat and left his sunglasses on, getting out of his truck and immediately being surrounded by reporters and having cameras shoved in his face as he shut the door.

 _"Mr. Ballard, are you and Senator Richardson dating?"_

 _"You two looked awfully cozy together in town the other day."_

 _"How long have you been seeing each other?"_

 _"Are you planning on moving in?"_

 _"Is it true you proposed to her?"_

 _"Mr. Ballard, did you have an affair with Senator Richardson?"_

The yelling of the reporters seemed to get louder and louder, their words bouncing around in his head. He kept his head down and said nothing as he walked up to the front door. His palms got sweaty and he tried to stay calm. He was nervous with them around. He hated their rumors, but he had to stay calm for him and Mellie both. His boss unlocked the door and let him in quickly, then locked it behind him and pulled the blinds down.

"May I ask what's going on, Ballard?" His boss crossed his arms as Jake unlocked his office door.

"Nothing bad. Remember when I went to that dinner with Senator Richardson? Well, we ended up dating. And the press thinks they've got something because we visited Valerie together. They have _nothing_. We aren't moved in together, I haven't proposed yet, there's no affairs-"

"Proposed _yet_? You're serious about her, then?" His boss grinned. "I thought she was just something fun."

"I'm pretty serious, yes, sir. I just hate that this happened. She doesn't need more publicity right now," Jake sighed as he sat down at his desk.

"I bet she feels the same way about you," he said. "I'll get rid of this zoo out front. Don't worry about it. You just focus on getting some recruits today."

"Yes sir," Jake said, watching his boss leave his office and round up four armed, uniformed guys to escort him out front. He took his phone out of his pocket and read the texts Mellie had sent him hours ago.

 _"Call me ASAP. It's important."_

 _"Please call me when you get this."_

 _"I'm sorry about all this. I never meant for it to go this far."_

 _"Jake, please call me when you get to the office."_

He read over them again, and immediately called her, glad she picked up on the first ring.

"Jake," she said with relief as she sat in her office, waiting for her first meeting at 8:30. "I'll send some agents out for you-"

"My boss has four armed men in uniform holding the reporters off, don't sweat it," he laughed softly.

"I am so sorry. I really am. I tried to keep you out of the tabloids," she explained, her heart heavy.

"You don't have control over them. Don't worry about it," he told her. "They'll take pictures of you either way. If I'm there when they do, then it is what it is," he explained.

"Jake..." She sighed, wanting to protect him from the public life.

"Can I ask you something?" He said, his heart beating faster as he nervously awaited her answer.

"Of course," she said, wondering what he wanted to talk about.

"Earlier when you sent me those texts...what did you mean when you said you never meant for it to go this far?" He asked, and he heard her sigh deeply on the other end of the line. "I know I was just your escort to the charity ball, but..."

"Go ahead and say it, Jake," she said, trying not to get angry.

"I thought you wanted this relationship too. If you don't, please stop me now so we both don't waste our breath and time," he said, hoping she would explain.

"I didn't mean it like that at all," she told him. "What I meant by that was I never wanted you to get thrown into the public eye like this. All over the internet, on the front pages of newspapers, in magazine headlines...I wanted to protect you from that."

"How did you plan to go about that when we're seeing each other?" He asked calmly.

"Laying low, not going to many large public places, going out more at night."

"So you wanted to keep our relationship hidden?" He asked, still keeping his cool. He didn't want to upset her. He just wanted answers. Of course he was hurt, but he respected Mellie too much to drag her down also.

"That wasn't my intention," she pleaded. "Jake, I didn't mean any of this in a bad way at all. I just wanted to help-"

"Can we talk about it some more tonight? I would rather discuss this in person," he said sternly.

"Of course," she said, sounding disappointed.

"Thanks. I'll call you when I get off. Bye," he said.

"Bye," Mellie said sadly, hanging up and giving her phone to Will, who stood guard at her office door. She just wanted him to understand that she didn't mean any of this the way he thought she did.

Despite the tension, she was thankful he showed her respect by letting her speak and not yelling at her and blaming her right away. He actually cared for her.

* * *

After talking with five potential recruits and booking a presentation at the end of the week at a local prestigious high school, Jake locked his office at five p.m. that afternoon and went outside to find no reporters around the doors. He was at ease as he walked to his truck and got in, cranked up, and headed home. Five seconds after he pulled out of the office driveway, a tone went out over his fire department scanner and he rushed to the fire department. It was two tones, which meant a business fire. The dispatcher informed them it was a bakery that was closed today that had an unknown gas leak that caused the fire.

Jake pulled up and cut his truck off, running inside to change into his fire suit. He took his uniform and boots off faster than he believed he could, and got his suit and helmet on in less than a minute. He jumped into the second truck right before it pulled out and raced six blocks away to the bakery.

By the time they pulled up, the first truck was already clearing inside, making sure no people were trapped. The other two firefighters were hooking up the water hose to the truck and as soon as the driver parked, Jake jumped out and ran to the chief's truck with others, waiting for an order.

"The building is clear, we need the gas shut off immediately," the fire chief shouted, pointing across the street. Jake and another firefighter ran across the street to the main pipeline and it took both of them to shut it off. As Jake walked back to the second truck and helped get the water hose hooked up to the fire hydrant, he watched as the first truck began putting the fire out. The intense flames seemed to grow larger and hotter until the second water hose started dousing the fire. The blast of water consumed the burning flames slowly but surely, and within the hour the fire was completely out. The chief and two other firefighters searched for the point of origin, and it was indeed a gas leak in the kitchen. They roped off what was left of the building and called the gas company, then the chief sent the second and third trucks back to the station.

They made it back at seven and Jake undressed, hanging up his fire suit and boots in his locker. He put his military uniform pants and boots back on, staying in his white t-shirt for a few minutes as they cooled off. He checked his phone and was surprised that he hadn't heard from Mellie yet. He sighed and picked up his Navy shirt and put it back on, despite his being dirty now. He grabbed his radio and told his buddies bye and that he wasn't going to hang around for dinner. He got in his truck and drove to Mellie's house, knowing they needed to talk.

He pulled up to her house around 7:45 and parked his truck behind the SUV, taking a deep breath before turning it off and walking up to the door. He knocked three times and Francis immediately answered the door.

"Good evening, Mr. Ballard," he said, stepping aside to let him in.

"Evening, Francis," Jake smiled, coming inside. He removed his blue camouflage hat and saw Mellie cleaning up the kitchen while Teddy read her a new book he got at school.

"Mr. Ballard is here," Francis told Mellie, and she looked up to find Jake standing at the edge of the living room in his Navy blue camouflage working uniform and his tan boots. She was impressed at how good he looked in his uniform, something she had never seen him in before. She quit washing dishes and dried her hands off and Teddy put his new book down and ran over to Jake in excitement.

"Jake!" He squealed, and Jake picked him up, carrying him into the kitchen.

"How are you doing, Ted? I see you got a new book," he said, and Teddy began to tell him all about his week at school. He told Jake about writing sentences for a class book, learning how to add numbers, and reading their new books. Teddy promised to read him one before bed, and Mellie convinced Teddy to go play with his toys in his room.

"There's leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry," she told him as she wiped off the kitchen table. "We had spaghetti and meatballs and broccoli."

She went to get him a plate and he could have made it himself, but didn't want to fight with her about it. They sat down a few minutes later at the table and he quickly ate, wanting to end this silence and get past this confusion.

"Have the reporters been around your house tonight?" He asked, wiping his mouth. "Thank you for dinner."

"Of course. And the few that have tried to hang around were quickly run off by Will and Francis," she said. "Did any more show up at work?"

"No," he said. "I'm sorry I didn't answer this morning. I overslept and rushed out the door. The heads up would've been much appreciated. I need to check my phone more often," he sighed.

"About those texts, I did not mean that I didn't want our relationship to progress. Yes, you were just the escort at the time, but you have become a very good friend of mine. There are few people I trust in this world, and you are one of them," she explained.

"Why did you want to hide us?" He asked sincerely. "I don't mind the attention. That is to say, I don't want it, but I'll live through it if it means we get to be together."

"I wanted to protect you, Jake. I wanted to protect you from this life. There is always someone watching you, someone expecting more out of you, someone thinking your life is perfect and _it's not_. I am a normal human being whose ex-husband happened to choose to take on an extraordinary job. Yes, there is a lot that no one knows about me and never will know, but there is a lot that the public does see, and I know they'll see any kind of relationship. I'm not trying to hide us," she explained.

"I thought we were dating," he said, surprised. "Or are we just friends to you?"

"Jake, please," she said, trying to keep it together. "I don't know if I would call what we're doing 'dating' or not. We've known each other a few months. I-"

"Come on," he said, getting up from the table and taking her hand, leading her to her bedroom upstairs and shutting and locking the door.

" _I helped you murder two people,_ " he said through gritted teeth. "I think we know each other pretty well, don't you?"

"Jake," she growled. "You know we don't talk about that."

"I think maybe we need to take a break for a little bit," he said. "Figure out where we're at, who we are," he said sadly. He didn't want to do this. He knew it would hurt both of them, but they needed to know where they stood.

"Ok," Mellie said strongly, not showing her emotions. She didn't show that her heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. "I'll still send an agent out if you want one at any time."

"Thank you," he said softly. "Call me if you need me. I'm going to go tell Teddy goodnight, if that's ok."

"Yeah," she whispered and nodded, following him to Teddy's room. Teddy immediately picked up a book and grabbed Jake's hand, encouraging him to sit down. Jake looked at Mellie and she nodded, sitting on the other side of Teddy. He began reading his new book about job occupations they had talked about in class. Mellie smiled at the fact that he was just as excited reading this book to Jake as he was reading it to her earlier.

As Teddy finished reading, Mellie could feel her chest getting tighter and tighter, and she knew an anxiety attack was coming on. He needed to leave.

"Tell Jake goodnight," she told Teddy, and he hugged Jake tightly, then promised to read him a book tomorrow when he came over. Jake went along with it and smiled as he left the room with Mellie right behind him. They made it to the front door and he sighed with sad eyes, looking her over once more.

"I'll see you later, Mels," he said softly, and he saw the sadness in her eyes. "This is only temporary, ok? We'll talk soon."

She nodded, still not allowing herself to cry. She wouldn't. She couldn't open up to him like that right now.

"You and Ted take care, ok?" He said, hugging her. She took in his smell, the strength of his hug, his breathing, everything she could before he walked out that door.

She pulled away and he walked out the door to his truck, and Will shut the door behind him. Mellie looked at Will and broke down, tears streaming down her tired face. She sat in the floor, trying to catch her breath as her chest got tighter. She couldn't get enough air into her lungs, and Will tried to calm her down when she began hyperventilating. About ten minutes later she pulled herself together and went to give Teddy a bath and put him to bed. She hoped he didn't know what was going on. She wanted to protect him from their problems. If anything good would come out of this break, she knew it was the fact that she would be able to think for a little while.

But she hoped this break wouldn't last long.


	15. Everyone's Safe

**A/N:** Jake and Mellie finally meet on some common ground. Let me know what you think, and be watching for some excitement in the next chapter! Thanks for reading!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from _ABC_ 's Scandal or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Two weeks later, Jake sat in his office around 2 pm on a slow, rainy day. He had no appointments or events for the day. No one had set foot in the office since they opened at 8 am. No one called. They didn't even receive any mail. Jake had finished what he needed to get done before lunch. He was tired of sitting at his desk, so he got up and went down to his boss's office.

"Need me to do anything for you?" Jake asked, and his boss looked up from his computer. Jake could tell he was bored too, or maybe he was just tired.

"Not today. It's slow for me, too. Running a tight ship all the time and keeping up with things is good until you hit days like this," he laughed. "I'm thinking we might close at 3 or 3:30 today. Who would want to get out in this nasty weather anyway? You could go visit Mellie," he suggested.

"Probably not today," Jake said with little emotion, and his boss raised an eyebrow.

"Something going on, Ballard?"

"No, sir. We're just taking a break is all. After the tabloid ordeal, we realized we aren't on the same page on where this relationship is headed and how comfortable we are with it and each other. We'll be back together soon, more than likely," Jake explained.

"I hate to hear that. I do wish the best for both of you. I knew since the night you escorted her that you two would be dating eventually. Now I'm just waiting for the wedding invitation," he teased.

"You'll be waiting for a while there," Jake laughed. "Not sure she's ready for that yet. But I'm ok with it."

"Good to hear," his boss smiled and sent him back to his office. Jake sat down behind his desk and desperately wanted to call her and talk, but he knew he wasn't ready and neither was she. He would just have to wait a little bit longer.

* * *

A month and a half had gone by and Mellie and Jake had not spoken, nor seen each other. Mellie missed her friend, but focused more on her work. She felt more accomplished in her job and herself. She could tell Teddy missed him even more, which upset her. He would ask if Jake was coming over to eat or play or do homework, and the answer had always been no. It broke her heart having to tell him no. Jake had become like a father to Teddy, and she knew she had to talk to him soon.

Friday afternoon, two hours before Mellie got off work, she texted Jake, hoping he would reply.

" _I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight around six_."

She hit send, then took a deep breath. She wanted to tell him about Teddy, but didn't want to seem desperate. She went against her better judgement, only wanting her child to be happy.

" _Teddy has been asking about you. He really misses you, Jake_."

She handed her phone to Will, who was sitting in a chair in her office, and got back to work, going through proposed laws.

* * *

Jake checked his phone after dealing with his last recruits of the day and saw that Mellie had texted, much to his surprise. He had missed talking to her every day, no matter how brief it was. He also had realized what she meant by protecting him from the public eye. Ever since they had been seen together, people constantly hounded him, asking questions, wanting details about her life, interviews, etc. He realized now she was just trying to help.

" _I'll be there_."

He replied quickly, glad to get to see her. She had truly become one of his good friends in a short amount of time.

* * *

Jake pulled up to Mellie's house at six that evening, wearing his favorite jeans and white v-neck. He turned his truck off and knocked on the door, and was surprised to see Karen answer instead of an agent.

"Jake, good to see you again," she smiled, letting him in.

"Good to see you too, Kare," he said, walking into the kitchen and setting his keys and wallet on the counter. He didn't even get to say hello to Mellie before Teddy squealed and ran up to him, squeezing his leg tightly.

"Jake! Jake! Time to read," he insisted, dragging Jake by the pants leg to the living room couch to read a new storybook.

"A new book? That's so cool," Jake smiled. He sat down beside Teddy and let him read a few books to him before speaking with Mellie.

She and Karen were in the kitchen, finishing working on dinner when Karen told her to go talk to Jake.

"Are you sure? You don't have to finish-"

"It's fine, Mom. I can handle this. Y'all haven't talked in almost two months. Go see him," Karen told her as she set the table.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Mellie admitted quietly. "I'm not sure this is the right time."

"Then why did you invite him over?"

"Because Teddy needed to see him. Jake has really become a father figure to him and Teddy was desperately missing him. He would ask about him at bedtime every night. I don't want to keep them apart," Mellie said.

"Maybe tonight will tell you whether or not to keep this relationship going then," Karen said, and Mellie sighed softly, nervous about seeing Jake.

She walked into the living room, wearing her favorite pair of old ripped jeans, a soft red tank top, and was barefoot; something she always enjoyed, and something she remembered Jake loved too.

The second she laid her eyes on him listening to Teddy read, she felt a spark throughout her entire body. Her heart beat faster, a warm feeling filled her chest, her body shivered, but she hid it all. He must've gotten a haircut a few days ago, and she could tell he had been going to the gym more. She wanted to keep him all for herself for the rest of the night, but she knew this time was for him to enjoy with everyone.

"Teddy's found a lot of new books to read," she said, unsure of how to start the conversation. Teddy looked at her and smiled, while Jake stood up, looking her once over. "Isn't that right, Ted?"

"I have at least seven or eight new books," he said proudly with a squeal, and Jake approached Mellie, who agreed to give him a hug.

"You look great, how are you doing?" He asked, enjoying the feeling of their bodies pressed together once more, her warm skin against his.

"Good, and you?" She answered, hoping he couldn't read her body language and feelings easily.

"Doing well," he said, letting go. She saw the hurt and loneliness in his eyes, and she wanted so desperately to let him in, but also to push him away.

"Dinner's ready," Karen said, and Mellie breathed a sigh of relief. She had saved them from an awkward situation. They made their way to the kitchen table and found Karen setting the last of the food on the table. Mellie sat by Teddy and Karen, and Jake was stuck sitting across from her. Karen said the blessing and Teddy was eager to eat; they were having baked chicken, twice baked potatoes, carrots, and sweet tea to drink. Karen tried to make small talk with Jake as Mellie made sure they were all served first and Teddy's food was cut up before she even thought about eating. Jake couldn't keep his focus off of her; all he wanted was for her to relax.

"How's Valerie?" Mellie asked as she fixed her own plate.

"She's doing well. She should get to come home next week if things go as planned," Jake explained. "She'll start therapy the next week."

"That's good to hear," she said. "Karen, you two would probably get along well. She's only a year older than you."

"That's cool," Karen said, not sure what to think of Valerie yet. There were many other people her mother told her she would get along with, and they were complete opposites.

"Is your boss still ok with you going to see her often?"

"He's making it," Jake laughed.

Karen tried to keep the conversation going for the rest of dinner and even cleaned up the kitchen while Mellie gave Teddy a bath and put him to bed. Jake offered to help clean, but Karen only let him dry dishes as she washed them. She finished them quickly and told him he could make himself at home in the living room while he waited on Mellie. She went up to her room, wanting to give them space. Mellie came downstairs almost fifteen minutes later, both glad they would get to talk and also nervous.

"Karen already go upstairs?" She asked, finding Jake sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone.

"Yeah, she left after we finished the dishes," he said, putting his phone in his jeans pocket.

"You didn't have to do that," she said softly.

"It's fine, Mels."

"Can we talk upstairs?" She asked, and he nodded and got up.

Mellie went to her bedroom and Jake followed, wanting to talk. She changed into her pink pajamas and he stripped down to his navy blue boxers before they got into her bed. They snuggled up to each other and sighed with relief, comfortable being with each other.

"I realized earlier what you meant about protecting me from the public eye," he explained. "I'm sorry I took it the wrong way."

"It's hard to understand at first, I get it. It's ok," she whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't put a label on us. I just don't-"

"-want to rush this, I know. You're recently divorced and saw your ex-husband die. I don't expect you to put a label on us until you're ready," he said.

"Thank you for understanding," she said cheerfully, snuggling closer to his warm body. He stroked her wavy brown hair as she laid her head on his chest, listening to his breathing and heartbeat.

"I just don't want you to have to go through the same media harassment and lies as me," she explained.

"I will go through whatever I have to if it means we'll be together. It's ok. It's worth it to me," he assured her. She said nothing for a few more minutes, and Jake wondered what was on her mind.

"Fitz abused me," she whispered, her breathing shaky. Jake sighed deeply and pulled her closer to him.

"Mels," he whispered, taking her hand gently into his.

"More than just my wrists," she told him, and he shifted uneasily, his shallow breathing giving away his state of anger.

"Please, don't get mad. He's dead and there's nothing to be done about it now. I just...felt like I should tell you is all," she explained, stroking the back of his hand.

"I'm glad you're comfortable telling me this," he assured her. "You know you can tell me anything you need to, right? Or not tell me anything you're not comfortable telling me."

"Of course," she nodded, and she felt his body relax upon hearing that. She didn't necessarily want to tell him everything Fitz had done, but she wanted him to know in case she set boundaries. She wanted him to know why.

"Verbally or physically?" Jake hesitantly asked.

"Both."

She kept it together as she sat up and took her shirt off to show him the scars on her arms and shoulder blades marking where Fitz had cut her.

"These happened over the last eight years we were in the White House," she said. "The top one on my arm was a genuine accident. It was after that happened was when he slapped me. The next one was with a pocket knife because I wouldn't go on a business trip to Europe about foreign oil with him right after Teddy was born. The one on my left shoulder was a razor blade after he had been to see Olivia and gotten drunk. The last one on my arm was a carving knife for bothering him too much on our first trip to Santa Barbara after moving in the White House. The other one on my shoulder was punishment for not having enough sex with him, as he put it," she said, feeling a huge weight off her shoulders now that she told him that. She put her shirt back on and continued her story.

"He's slapped me enough times I've lost count. Called me every awful name under the sun. Made me feel worthless, defenseless against him for the longest time. I finally learned not to fear him, that I could fight back. The worst was when he broke my nose and fingers, though," she sighed, able to feel Jake's anger. She didn't even have to look at him to know he was getting madder by the second. She held up both hands to show where Fitz had broken the last three fingers on her left hand.

"This was after Jerry's death. We were both grieving, and I guess he took his anger out on me. He said it was to remind me who was in control. The swelling never went down, even to this day. He said if I went to the doctor he would break the rest of my fingers. I had to quietly get my rings resized. The staff wondered if I was pregnant again. I had to shut those rumors down fast, and it never made it to the public, thankfully. The next event we had I got to wear gloves at, so that was a blessing."

"When he broke my nose...there was no hiding that. We had just checked into our hotel in France for his fifth G8 Summit. He had already been drinking and was upset about the meeting or Olivia or something. I never got a straight answer out of him. I tried to talk to him, to get him to sober up. He said he didn't want my help and yelled at me and punched me in the nose. He left and went to his meeting, and I stayed behind. I told our agents I wasn't feeling well, and wouldn't let them see me. Fitz came back that night, still drunk but not at his worst. He saw my nose, now black and purple and twice its normal size, and he tried to apologize. I let him get me more ice for it, but that was it. I told him he had crossed a line and I would either press charges or divorce him if it didn't stop. He shook his head and threatened me again, and I played the infidelity card and shut him up for a while. He didn't want his image ruined. He even covered for me the next day, saying I had food poisoning. It looked better by the time we left a week later, but it still hurt. It was never right again. My old glasses didn't fit right for months until I had them adjusted. I had to keep it quiet. You learn how to cover this stuff up, keep it locked up deep inside you, show no weakness," she sighed, squeezing his hand. "But Fitz is behind me now."

"Can I ask you a question and you answer it honestly? I don't mean any bad by it. I just need to know," Jake said softly.

"Yeah," Mellie whispered, nodding her head yes. Jake saw the concern in her eyes, but he needed to know she wasn't lying.

"Did he ever make you uncomfortable sexually?"

"Well, not _too_ much besides when I didn't want to have sex," she said. "Why?"

"I just don't want to ever make you uncomfortable is all," he said, not wanting to upset her with more questions.

"Jake, ask what you really want to know. I've told you before, I can handle it," she reminded him. He sighed and looked dead into her eyes, and she saw the tension in his beautiful hazel eyes.

"Did Fitz ever sexually assault you? In any way?" He asked, and Mellie sighed, hesitant to answer. She was shocked he asked that. She knew he was just trying to watch out for her, but that took it a little far for her.

" _Mellie_ ," he sighed, trying to get her attention. He rubbed her back gently and she snapped out of it upon feeling his touch.

"What?" She said, and he was getting impatient.

"Did Fitz sexually assault you in any way?"

" _What_? No," She whispered, and saw his hazel eyes quickly soften with relief.

"He might have pressured me into sex, but it was never rape. Never. He has his faults, but I don't think _he_ ever would've done that," she explained, remembering all the times he encouraged sex with her and wouldn't let it go.

"But...his father did. Big Jerry raped me almost eighteen years ago," she whispered, and Jake couldn't believe she had kept all this inside. He wondered if Karen knew, then figured she probably didn't and it was best to keep quiet.

She remembered the time Big Jerry raped her. The time Fitz kicked her out of the White House. The time she learned he shot down that passenger airplane.

The time she watched her son be murdered onstage.

The time she was sold to Fitz so she could pay her rent and tuition.

All the times Fitz chose Olivia over her.

She cried into Jake's chest, trying to contain her sobs not to scare him, Will, or Francis. Jake rubbed her back and brushed her hair out of her face as he held her close. He whispered quietly to her, trying to calm her down.

" _Baby, it's ok. I'm here._ "

" _The past is the past. Don't worry about it now_."

" _I still love you. So does Teddy and Karen and Will and Francis_."

" _Don't be so hard on yourself, ok?_ "

He knew they had a long way to go. He had known this since they went on their first date. But that's one reason he came back. She needed him and he needed her. He didn't know how to address the rape, and he hoped that she would let him help her cope if she needed.

He knew she couldn't know too much about his past. It would just cut deeper and hurt worse. He couldn't lean on her that much. He had to be strong for both of them.


	16. One Dance

**A/N:** So Jake goes to his first party with Mellie and gets to meet the real drunk Mellie. A review would be much appreciated and thanks for reading!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from _ABC_ 's Scandal or anything/anyone else.

* * *

"They finished going through Fitz's will and got everything sorted out," Mellie told Jake early Thursday morning as they ate breakfast together at her house. He had spent the night here, at her house, with her in her own bed, and was at peace with their relationship for the first time. He didn't care what anyone else thought about them or what they had to say.

"Is that good or bad?" He asked, taking a drink of his coffee. He could do with or without coffee, but he usually drank it in the company of others.

"Good. All the investigations are done now," she sighed with relief. "That month felt like forever."

"Did he leave anything to you and Teddy?" He questioned.

"Last time I looked at it, he had trust funds he left to all the kids and most everything else was left to me. He's changed it, taking Karen out, but he never had a chance to leave anything to Olivia. He knew better than to cross that line. I'm meeting with my head lawyer this weekend to decide what to do about some of the properties and such, see if I can get Karen anything out of this," she explained.

"As in multiple properties?" Jake questioned in shock.

"He owned the vacation house in Santa Barbara, a condo in New York, a house in Vermont, a small cottage in Dallas, and a beach house in Florida. He only took us as a family to Santa Barbara. I've only seen the cottage and beach house, though. I don't need all those," she laughed. "May as well sell some of them."

"Your call," he shrugged. "What else did he have, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Two trucks, ten high-end rifles, four watches all over $10,000 each, no telling how much all of his clothes cost. Anything his father had that I never knew about. My lawyer hasn't gotten back to me on those prices yet, but it's probably upwards of two or three hundred thousand. He had expensive tastes."

"I can tell," Jake said, realizing just then how wealthy Fitz really was.

"He never knew anything but a rich and lavish lifestyle," she said, not going any further. He didn't need to know that all of Fitz's belongings and money was worth almost $150 million. "But anyway. There's this party this weekend. One of the older senators quietly throws a huge party every year. She invites all of the other senators and one guest. You want to go?"

"I mean, if you're ok with going, sure," he said encouragingly.

"She makes sure no details go public whatsoever. It's fine," Mellie said. "You'll have a good time. Besides, we earned it. We need to let loose on occasion."

"No arguing that," Jake smiled, ready for this party.

* * *

"Mellie, are you sure about this party? Whose house is this?" Jake asked as they pulled up to the party in her freshly washed and waxed black car with Will and Francis in the follow car. The property was surrounded by ten-foot-tall, brick privacy fences and lots of bright, white lights for security.

"The senator I told you about, a good friend of mine. There's not many people here, don't worry," she said, and he wondered how true that was, especially since he could hear the music blaring and see the multicolored strobe lights flashing from the house.

"She's made sure no cameras are around. Rule is you leave your cell phones at the door until you leave. It's safe to let loose. And she serves the _good_ alcohol," Mellie smiled, turning off her car and getting out. Jake followed nervously and Will and Francis said nothing, knowing Mellie knew where they stood on these situations. They warned her about it earlier, and she decided to go through with it. At this point, it would just be their job to make sure she got home safely and was ok.

They walked inside at eight and saw close to twenty other senators and their guests inside, drinking, dancing, and enjoying the DJ's set. Mellie took Jake's hand and led him through the house as she looked for Senator Walsh. She found her on the back patio talking with some other senators and led Jake outside.

"Mellie, glad you could make it," she said, getting up out of her cushioned lawn chair to hug her. "Who is this fine fellow?" She asked.

"Senator Walsh, this is Captain Jake Ballard. Jake, this is Senator Walsh," Mellie smiled.

"Please, Jake, call me Barbara," she laughed, shaking his hand. "You from around here, Jake?"

"I live downtown. I'm a recruiter at the Naval office. Retired pilot," he said.

"Well that's just wonderful. My grandson just joined the Navy. But anyway, please enjoy yourselves tonight," she said, going inside to check on the food.

"She seems nice," Jake said, following Mellie inside and to the bar set up in the kitchen.

"Four shots of liquid cocaine," Mellie yelled over the music to the man mixing drinks behind the counter. He looked to be in his early thirties and like he had been bartending for years.

"You sure you can handle it?" The bartender yelled back, and she smiled seductively.

"You need to worry about him, not me," she nodded at Jake. He watched as the man mixed the shots and looked at Mellie. He had never been around Mellie when she wanted to do some serious drinking, and vice versa. He was almost a little worried based on the looks Will and Francis exchanged earlier.

"You said no cameras, right?" Jake asked as the man handed them each two shots.

"Nope," she said, taking one shot and enjoying the burn. "Get as wasted as you want. Will can get us home."

"Mellie, are you sure-"

"Shut the fuck up and drink, Jake," she said, downing her other shot. "Have some fun."

Jake didn't appreciate her hostility, but hoped she would loosen up after a few drinks. He took one shot and set the glass down on the marble counter, surprised at how strong such a tiny shot was. The liquor burned his throat more than he imagined it would, but he would suck it up and do the second to prove to Mellie he could. The second one was a little easier than the first one, and he smiled after he finished it.

"Not bad, huh?" She smirked, and he shrugged softly.

"What the hell is in this?" Jake asked.

"Jäger, Rumple Minze, Bacardi 151," she yelled to him, and he was surprised she wanted to even touch it.

"Not too bad," he said, wondering how much Mellie really could handle. He knew her daddy's moonshine was her first drink of choice, and that was some of the strongest he had ever tasted. Her knowledge of liquor surprised him slightly, but he wasn't going to question it here. "Want to dance?"

She looked around the dimly lit kitchen and into the dark living room full of people. The only lights were the strobe lights the DJ had brought along, and she was perfectly fine with that.

"Sure."

He led her past the blaring speakers and into the crowd, where she began recognizing many of the faces she saw. They were mostly senators and their husbands and wives, and a handful of senior staffers. The majority were getting tipsy and she couldn't wait to join them. She already felt the shots calming her nerves, but she wasn't ready to party hard yet.

Jake bounced poorly along to the modern rap music and Mellie couldn't help but smile as she danced along. He was a pretty bad dancer, but he was _her_ bad dancer. He did so much to make her happy.

"How about we just stick to one move?" She suggested, turning around and guiding his hands to her hips. He pulled her in closer and guided them to the beat of the music, but he wasn't sure he was doing it right. He pulled her as close as he could to his body and kissed her neck, grinding harder on her. They held up for the next four or five songs, then were ready to drink some more.

" _Jake_ ," she whispered longingly, holding on to the back of his neck. His body felt so good against hers; she knew nothing could get to her when he was with her.

"Hmm?" He mumbled, sucking hard enough that when he pulled away, he already saw a small purple bruise already forming on her neck and he couldn't help but smile.

"Let's get more drinks," she said. He led them back to the bar a few minutes later. He got them each a beer and they settled down for a second on the back patio outside, enjoying the warm night air.

"So what do you think?" She asked, taking a drink of the cold beer. It tasted expensive, but beer still was not her favorite.

"About partying with half the Senate?" He teased, flashing his pearly white teeth at her again. "You people _really_ like to drink."

"Doesn't everyone in Washington?"

"I'll give you that one," he laughed.

"I still prefer moonshine," she admitted. "Wine is good for dinner, I'll drink beer when I have to."

"You could've picked something else, you know," he said.

"But _you_ picked this out. I picked the first drink and you drank it, so I'll drink this," she shrugged. "You ever had moonshine?"

"Only the times you've offered it to me," he told her. "It's not bad. Just strong is all."

"You need to get out more," she teased with a smile. "And drink something stronger than this."

"I don't do this whole...partying and drinking thing. I'm more of a casual drinker," he said.

She got up and went to the bartender, and Jake wondered what she would bring back this time. He had never seen this adventurous side of Mellie, not to this extent, anyway, and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not.

She quickly came back with two shot glasses and handed one to him. She did hers first and sighed with satisfaction after.

"It burns, but in a good way," she told him.

"What is it?"

"Why do you ask so many questions? Do you not trust me?" She asked him.

"I trust you, I just want to know what it is," he said, and she sighed.

"Just drink it and then I'll tell you."

He did his shot and felt the liquid burn his mouth the second it touched his tongue. He wasn't expecting something that strong, but he should have, knowing Mellie. She saw the look of slight discontentment on his face and laughed to herself.

"Bacardi 151," she said, and he couldn't believe it. He could handle a good bit of alcohol, but was afraid he would walk out of this party completely wasted.

"Are you trying to get me wasted?" He asked, and she shrugged teasingly.

"Just seeing if you can keep up," she smiled, and they went to dance some more.

He tried his best to keep up with her, but he had never seen a woman who could handle so much alcohol. About two hours later, he lost count how much they had had to drink as they sat on the patio once more. This time there were a few other couples out there, and Mellie sat on Jake's lap, facing him. He could tell she was finally drunk, somewhere he had reached five or six drinks ago.

"Have you had a good time?" She asked with a smile.

"Of course," he said. "I was with you."

"But did you enjoy the party?" She laughed, placing her hands on his chest to hold herself up.

"It was fine, Mels. Who doesn't enjoy drinking hundreds of dollars' worth of alcohol?" He joked, and she smiled, showing him her beautiful white teeth. He adored seeing her smile, seeing her happy.

"You want something else to drink?" She asked, and he shook his head no.

"I think I'm good," he said. "Are you sure you want something else?"

"I'm not even close to my limit, Jake," she said, stumbling over her words. "My daddy's moonshine is 85% alcohol, and I would need at least four jars to get completely wasted."

"You know you've had at least three shots of Bacardi 151, right?" He asked, and she nodded.

"I'm _fine_ , Jake. You know, the bartender has Everclear-"

"I am _not_ letting you do shots of Everclear. I think maybe we should go home," he said, knowing she didn't need anything else to drink.

"Don't ruin the fun. It's only 2:15," she said, looking at her watch. "I've done plenty of Everclear in my time."

"I'm still not letting you do shots," he said. "I'll go order you a drink."

"I'm coming with," she slurred, getting off his lap so they could go get a drink. He led her to the bartender, past the loud party music and bright lights. The room was spinning slightly, and he knew he didn't need to have anymore, and neither did she. He led her to the front door instead and she backed away.

"I'm not leaving yet," she said defensively, going back to the bartender. Jake went after her as fast as he could, trying to maintain his balance. He saw there was barely anyone left on the dance floor and knew there weren't many on the patio outside.

"Two shots of Everclear," she told the bartender, and Jake came up behind her, stopping him.

"Do not give her those shots," he demanded. He wasn't letting her be carried out of here.

"Jake, stop it. I know how much I can-"

"Ma'am, I've seen what you've had to drink tonight. I'm surprised you're still standing up and talking. I'll make you something with Everclear in it-"

"Fine, whatever," she said angrily, waving her hand in the air. The bartender mixed two shots of Everclear with cranberry juice and gave it to her, and she looked at Jake with disgust as she drank it all in one drink.

"Now we're going home," he told her, and led her to go get their jackets and phones. She resisted, but knew he wouldn't give up. He retrieved their phones and helped her to the door, then texted Will and told him they were ready to go.

Will pulled Mellie's car around while Francis followed in the SUV. They told Senator Walsh goodbye and thanks for the party, then stepped outside. Little did they know, that was a mistake.

Cameras were flashing left and right as Will and Francis ran up the steps to the door. Jake had his arm around her waist, helping her to the car, both of them blinded by the bright lights. The reporters were yelling question after question, only to get no answer. Jake and Mellie both tried to cover their faces while stumbling down the front steps. Senator Walsh called her security and were threatening the reporters with arrest if they didn't get off her property. That didn't stop them from taking pictures as they were being run off. Will and Francis tried to shield Mellie and Jake, but the damage was already done. Jake got her in the backseat of her car and got in beside her, putting her seatbelt on her. Will drove away and Mellie groaned, hating they came now.

"I gotta call Chelsea. We're in so much trouble now," she slurred, trying to pull out her phone.

"Francis will call her when we get home. Don't worry about it," Jake assured her. Her phone rang and she hesitated to answer it; it was her publicist, Susan.

"Hello?" Mellie answered, her eyes closed as she leaned her head back against the seat.

"I just got a call that you were caught leaving a huge party with Jake, and you were so wasted you could barely stand up. What's going on?"

"Francis is calling Chelsea when we get home. She can help you with this. We were at Senator Walsh's party. She throws it every year for the Senate. She takes up cell phones at the door and makes sure no cameras are around, but these reporters must have jumped the fence and gotten past security. She keeps more security than I do. The party is secret. You can't tell about it," she sighed, everything around her starting to spin.

"I'll call Senator Walsh and talk to her. Mellie, how much did you have to drink? You sound like-"

"I'm not past my limit," Mellie slurred, trying to explain to everyone she was fine. Physically, maybe not, but mentally, she was still fine.

" _Mellie_. Tell me the truth. What did you drink?" Her publicist demanded.

"I don't know," she sighed. "She serves nothing less than the best. A few shots of liquid cocaine, a few beers, Bacardi 151, some fireballs, some cherry bombs, a few shots of Everclear-"

"How the hell are you still conscious right now? A normal person would be at the hospital getting their stomach pumped. Are you ok? Let me talk to Jake."

"I'm fine. If I feel bad, I'll tell Will. Here's Jake," she said, rolling her eyes as she handed the phone to Jake.

"Jake, how many shots is 'a few'?"

"You want specific numbers?" He asked, and Mellie shook her head no. He set the phone down on his knee and looked her in the eyes.

"Mellie, anyone else would have alcohol poisoning by now if they drank what you drank. I have to make sure you're ok," he whispered, picking the phone back up.

"Four shots of liquid cocaine, three or four beers, I think two or three shots of Bacardi 151? Two fireballs, six cherry bombs, three shots of Everclear, but two of those were mixed in with cranberry juice, I forget what else," Jake said, and knew Mellie hated him right now.

" _Good Lord_ ," her publicist said. "Let me talk to Will."

Jake handed the phone to Will and he knew this wasn't good.

"Will, did you just hear what Mellie had to drink?"

"Yes ma'am. I will keep a close watch on her. We'll seek medical attention if needed," Will said, and noticed they were about five minutes from Mellie's house.

"Don't let her go to sleep. Do you think she has alcohol poisoning?"

"She's still alert and awake. She can handle a lot of alcohol, but she's pretty drunk right now. I think she'll be ok. Tomorrow will be rough, though," he explained.

"I'm not drunk," she said, trying to get the phone back from Will. He tried to keep it away from her at first, but then figured out she wasn't going to stop until she got it, so he gave it up.

"I am not drunk, Susan. I am fine. Just let me live a little," she said, hanging up. Will pulled into her driveway a few minutes later and got out to make sure no reporters and cameras were around, then opened Mellie's door for her. Jake got out and was only a little dizzy, but felt pretty good. Mellie tried to step out of the car and fell straight to the ground. She began laughing as Will and Francis helped her up, quickly realizing she couldn't even stand up now. Will picked her up, despite her efforts to fight back and swear she could walk inside herself, and carried her to the front door. Francis unlocked it and let Jake in first, then Will and Mellie. He took her to the guest bedroom downstairs and set her on the bed. She didn't even need to attempt going up stairs right now.

"Stay here. I'm going to get your pajamas and some water," Will said, leaving the room, ignoring whatever drunken comments were coming out of Mellie's mouth. Jake walked in the guest bedroom and she smiled.

"God, Jake," she laughed, lying back on the bed. She couldn't stop laughing and he smiled as he approached her.

"What?" He chuckled.

"Why are you so damn sexy?" She smiled, sitting up and grabbing him by the belt, pulling him closer to her. "Let's have sex."

He stood between her legs as she sat on the edge of the bed, leaning against him.

"Mellie, I don't-"

"Do you ever shut up and let someone else call the shots for once?" She asked as she unbuckled his belt and struggled to get his pants off.

"I'm not going to have sex with you right now."

"Why not? I'm here, in the flesh. Why not take me now?" She teased, trying to pull him on top of her, but she couldn't break his hesitation.

"Because I've had a lot to drink and you are completely wasted," he explained.

"Am not," she said, pulling on his arms to try to stand up, but she couldn't even gain her balance and he held her in his arms, then laid her back down on the bed.

"Come on, Jake. Just this once," she begged, and he shook his head no.

"Nope," he said, and Will came back in with her favorite pink pajama shorts, one of his t-shirts, two bottles of water, and a package of crackers.

"I'm going to help you change into your pajamas, ok?" Will told her, and she was doing anything but cooperating. Jake tried to help, but couldn't talk her into cooperating either. After another laughing spell and five minutes of fighting his help, they got her shirt off and got Will's gray t-shirt on her.

"That's good enough for now," Will said. "I'll be outside the door if you need me. In a few minutes we'll try moving to the living room. She needs to stay awake for as long as possible."

"Yes sir," Jake said, sitting down beside Mellie. He opened the package of saltine crackers and handed her two of them, then opened a bottle of water.

"Eat those," he said, and she rolled her eyes and gave them back.

"No," she said, nudging his arm. "I'm fine."

"Please just eat them and drink some water. You'll thank us later for it," he sighed.

"One cracker," she said, eating one of them and sipping on the water he handed her. "Give me another drink. Or let's have sex. It can just be oral, that's fine with me," she laughed. "You're good with your mouth, so am I," she teased, working to get his pants off.

"Mellie, I'm not doing this," he said, trying to get her off of him. He backed away but she got up and stumbled towards him, trying again to get her hands into his pants.

"Mellie, stop," he said, pushing her away, now annoyed. He picked her up and carried her out to the couch, setting her down and turning the TV on. "Stay there."

She laughed as he walked away, and he hated he went to this party now. He had no idea she planned on getting _this_ drunk, and the reporters just made things worse. He wanted to go home, but he knew he couldn't leave her alone like this, even with the Secret Service.

He went into the guest bedroom and texted Valerie, telling her he was spending the night at Mellie's house, then put it on the charger. He regained his composure and went back into the living room, sitting on the end of the couch opposite of Mellie.

"I'm sorry, Jake."

"It's ok," he said quietly, handing her some more crackers and her bottle of water. She said nothing as she ate them, and he noticed she had put it on a movie channel while he was gone. He hoped she would stay awake for a little while longer, at least until they saw how the alcohol would affect her. He saw the time and it was already almost 4 a.m. They were all startled by a knock on the door, and Francis was the first the answer it. It was Susan, looking unhappy about coming out at this hour.

"Good morning, Francis," she said, setting her purse down on the coffee table by Jake. He saw she was wearing dark blue jeans and a blue and white striped shirt as she approached them.

"Jake, give us a minute alone, please," she said firmly, and Jake didn't hesitate to leave. He was easily intimidated by this woman and didn't want to get in her way. He knew she could be your best friend or your worst enemy, the one to make or break you in Washington. He was headed to the kitchen when he saw Karen coming down the stairs. Their eyes met and he shook his head no, motioning for her to go back upstairs. He quickly followed and met her in Mellie's room.

"What's going on? Why is Susan here?" Karen asked worriedly, sitting on the bed. She might not have been home for a while, but she knew it wasn't good when Susan was here. Jake paced the floor, slightly worried and hoping Susan wasn't too upset.

"Your mom and I went to Senator Walsh's party earlier and-"

" _No_. No you didn't. She talked you into going? I can't believe this," she groaned as she stood up, trying to go downstairs.

"What do you mean?" He asked, stopping in front of her.

"The last time she went to a party of Senator Walsh's, she got alcohol poisoning. What did she drink?"

" _Alcohol poisoning?_ " Jake said, hating himself for not stopping her drinking sooner.

"What did she drink, Jake?" Karen demanded, and Jake began listing off what he could remember.

"Karen, I don't think you-"

"Will and Francis weren't her agents this time last year when she went. Sure, there's note of it in her file, but who reads those? They need to know. I need to see her," Karen said. "Tell me _now_."

"Four shots of liquid cocaine, three shots of Bacardi 151, uh...two or three fireballs, about four beers, three shots of Everclear but two were mixed with cranberry juice, and six cherry bombs. That's all I remember," he told her, and she dropped her head.

" _Damn it,_ " she sighed. "They didn't seem worried about her yet?"

"No."

"I'm going to see about her. Everything you listed is almost as bad as last time," Karen said, getting up off the bed and going downstairs. She saw none of them in the living room and Jake led her to the guest bedroom, where they found Francis and Susan.

"Where are they?" Jake asked, and Francis nodded to the hallway bathroom. Karen went in first and found Will holding Mellie's hair back as she sat in the floor, leaned over the toilet.

"Karen, what are you-"

"Will, last time she went to Senator Walsh's party she got alcohol poisoning," she said, kneeling beside her mother.

"Mom, look at me," Karen said, and Mellie was ashamed as she looked up at her daughter, who felt of her forehead. She looked in her glazed eyes and saw regret, and Karen knew this was all too familiar.

"Karen, go to bed," Mellie groaned, hating her to see her like this again.

"I'm not leaving you here like this," she fought back. "Will, can the nurse give IV fluids here?"

"I can ask. Do you really think she alcohol poisoning?" He asked, pulling out his phone and calling the Secret Service nurse on duty.

"This is just like last time, but not quite as bad. She's sweating, and her breathing keeps slowing down. Last time she ended up having her stomach pumped. I don't want a repeat of that," she explained.

"Yeah, I got a 48-year-old female here, possible alcohol poisoning, wondering if you could come out and assess, along with administering IV fluids," Will said. "Foxtail. Yes. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Thank you."

"Will, cancel that-"

"No," Karen said sternly towards her mother. "What did she say?"

"She'll be here in fifteen minutes or less."

"Thank you," she said softly, sitting down beside her mom in the bathroom floor. She knew Mellie hated her right now, she could feel it. She didn't want the help. She wanted to feel numb for a little while longer. But Karen was afraid "a little while longer" could be the difference between life and death. She made eye contact with Jake, who was still in the doorway, concerned as ever.

The nurse got there exactly fifteen minutes later, and quickly checked Mellie out as Jake and Karen sat in the kitchen, trying to stay awake. Karen got Jake some water and he drank it, knowing he was really going to feel this later.

"She didn't tell you about the drinking beforehand?" Karen asked quietly, watching the nurse get the IV started.

"Nope. She just said there was a big party, no cameras, and 'the good alcohol'. I tried to stop her. She wouldn't listen."

"I'm so sorry you had to see her like this," Karen apologized. "She hasn't gotten this drunk since the divorce. Chelsea won't be happy with the damage control. Susan is already mad."

"It's ok. We all make mistakes, we all get wasted every now and then. It's fine, really. Their jobs are to handle these public situations," Jake said, trying to calm her as he slightly sobered up.

The nurse came over to Jake and Karen fifteen minutes later and Will followed, wanting to make sure Karen didn't overreact.

"How is she?" Karen asked suddenly, and the nurse sat down beside Jake and Will stayed by Karen.

"Lucky she has you. She does have some alcohol poisoning, but I don't think she needs to go to the hospital. She'll be better in a day or so. Everything will run its course, she should be fine. She was getting dehydrated, so I'm glad you had Will call," the nurse told them. Karen breathed a sigh of relief and the nurse went back to the living room.

"You did good, Kare," Will said, patting her on the back before following the nurse.

"If you want to go home now, Francis can take you," Karen told Jake coldly. She didn't really want him to stay here tonight. She was upset and disappointed in her mother, but also a little disappointed in him. He could've told Will, he could have stopped this.

"I already told Val I was staying here. I don't want to leave your mom, either," he said.

"She's fine, you heard the nurse."

"If you really don't want me to stay, I'll go home, ok?"

"Whatever."

Karen got up and went and sat by her mom on the couch, and Jake stayed in the kitchen. He now felt like he had crossed a line, and he didn't want to hurt anyone. He only wanted to help.

* * *

Chelsea came knocking on the door at six a.m., only to find Francis, Will, Jake, Karen, Mellie, and the nurse sitting in the living room on the tan couches. Karen was asleep in the recliner and Mellie had dozed off in Jake's arms, feeling better and worse at the same time.

"This is what's circulating on the Internet and will get printed in the newspapers," Chelsea said, waking Mellie up, handing them an Internet article headline reading:

" _Richardson Wasted: Is this former First Lady who you want as your next president?_ "

Followed by pictures of her and Jake leaving the party, struggling to get into the car, and Senator Walsh running the paparazzi off. Jake sighed softly and Mellie shook her head, wondering why she had ever gone to the party.

"What now?" She asked, and Chelsea set her purse down on the coffee table in front of them.

"I'll do damage control. We won't say anything today," she said, pausing to think of a solution. She didn't want to give up on the campaign yet. "We'll make it looked staged. You didn't know what you were drinking. They told you it was something else. You didn't even know there would be a bar. You thought it was a small dinner party. You-"

"And throw Senator Walsh under the bus like that? She would never forgive me," Mellie said, wishing Olivia was here to help.

"Olivia's not even here to be able to help," she whispered to Jake, and he remembered that cold morning on the river.

"We'll figure it out," he said softly, and Chelsea continued with her ideas.

"We'll leak the info quietly. She won't know it was us. When she asks, you act like you have no idea who is making the false claims. This could work, Mellie. This might be the only way we save your campaign. You have three more months until the election. We can't lose now," she said. "You're in the lead, 54% to 39%. We could lose that quickly and it would all be over. I'm not giving up now. You don't say a word to anyone, you do as I tell you. Same for you, Jake," she said, anger in her voice as she paced across the living room now. She was furious with them. "Just...Will, when he wants to leave, get two more agents to take him home and stay with him. Get four more on all shifts for Mellie for the next forty-eight hours. I need to go to the office, I'll be back sometime today. Call if you need me."

She picked her purse up again and walked out the door, unhappy this was how her day was starting.

Mellie sighed quietly, leaning into Jake, wondering if she really should've ran for office. Maybe she rushed into it, or maybe she wasn't cut out for it. Everyone used to her exterior of steel had no idea the Mellie on the inside, the soft hearted, doubtful woman, even existed.

And she knew she needed to keep it that way.


	17. Needed Me

**A/N:** So this is almost like a second climax of the story. Please feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from _ABC_ 's Scandal or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Jake sat in the passenger seat of the fire truck as it raced down the road Sunday night at 2 a.m. He was in full gear, unsure of what they were about to endure. They had received a call about a residence hall fire at the university, but he didn't know the extent. All he knew was bad electrical wiring was causing the fire to spread quickly.

They pulled up three minutes later and all Jake could see was thick, black smoke and droves of students pouring out of the eight story building. He jumped out of the truck, being ordered by the chief to follow two other firefighters in the building to make sure no students were left while they started tackling the fire.

Jake didn't hesitate to put on his neck cover, face mask, and helmet and run into the building. He led the other two as they directed four more guys to get out. They ran up the stairs to the second floor after checking the first, then the third, where he realized they couldn't go any higher. The flames had overtaken the entire floor and the others above it, and he followed his men back down to the second floor, where the fire had already spread. They heard over the radio that two more students were seen from the fourth floor window and they were working to get them to jump. Jake radioed back and said there was no way they could get to them, and then got word they had jumped to safety. The smoke was getting thicker and the flames were getting hotter as they made it back to the first floor. The other two firefighters headed for the door by Jake's instruction, saying he would double check the rooms.

Jake ran down the hall in his gear, checking the rooms again as he felt the walls getting hotter around him. The fire was spreading through the second floor to the first, and he was halfway to the emergency exit door when the fire chief radioed to get out.

"Fifteen seconds until this building is coming down," he yelled, and Jake ran faster, watching parts of the flaming ceiling begin to fall and land in front of him. He saw the doorframe start to buckle inwards and he ran through it, making it out seconds before the building crumbled.

He ran to the truck, taking off his helmet and putting on an oxygen mask for a few minutes, then grabbing a handful of water bottles out of the back of the truck. A few more followed his lead and went over to the group of three hundred or so kids crowded together in the warm August air. Some were crying and scared, many were calling their parents. But what mattered was the RAs had accounted for everyone. They were all safe. Jake walked up to a group of girls and handed them some water, wishing he could help. He tried to say encouraging things to them, but he didn't think it was helping very much. The chief walked by him and glanced at him, then kept going.

"Ballard, get to the medic, stat," the fire chief yelled out upon seeing Jake's bleeding bicep. Jake looked down at his right arm; the hot, sharp edge of the steel doorframe had ripped through his gear as he ran out, and went straight into his arm, leaving a nasty gash to the bone. He sighed and dropped his head as he walked over to the ambulance. He knew all the students had made it out, but he still wanted to help. He sat down on the side of the ambulance and one of the medics helped him get his fire suit undone to get to his arm.

The medic immediately wrapped the bleeding, deep wound with gauze and took him to the ER, knowing he needed to be seen about.

Next thing he knew, he was sitting on a gurney, waiting for an operating room to come open. A nurse came by and helped him change into a blue cloth gown and drew blood and checked his vitals. Now all he could do was wait. He watched a TV in the hall telling about the fire. The chief had determined it was indeed due to faulty electrical equipment, and the school was getting temporary housing set up at the moment.

After about thirty minutes, a nurse came by and said an OR just came open and they had to take it. The anesthesiologist wasn't busy and got him set up quickly, and they wheeled him down the hall and around the corner to the operating room. But he was out before they even made it around the corner.

* * *

Jake woke up in recovery two hours later, his arm feeling hot and heavy. He sleepily looked around the room and saw a nurse beside him, writing something down.

"Well good morning, Jake. How do you feel?" She asked, setting her notepad and pen down on a rolling table.

"Exhausted," he said, his throat sore from the breathing tube. She gave him some ice chips and smiled.

"You'll feel better in a few hours. You're one lucky guy. That metal could have ripped your whole arm off as hot as it was. It barely scratched the bone, thank goodness. And this lady named Mellie is very concerned about you. She got here about an hour ago. She seems like a keeper," the nurse grinned.

"Mellie's here?" He whispered in disbelief. "What time is it?"

"Almost five. You'll be able to see her in a minute," she assured him.

He nodded and closed his eyes, wondering how she had gotten word about this so quickly. He wondered if Will and Francis had Teddy, if Mellie had told Valerie. He wondered how his arm really was.

They took him back to his room about fifteen minutes later and he found Mellie waiting there for him.

"Hey," he whispered with a smile.

"I'm so glad you're ok," she said, going to his side as the nurses checked his vitals and started another IV. "When Valerie called me, I panicked."

"They called Valerie?" He groaned. She wasn't supposed to be worrying about him. He was supposed to worry about her.

"Don't worry, Jake. I told her I was coming to sit with you and would keep her updated. I think you should call her in a little while, though," Mellie explained.

A doctor came in as soon as she finished her sentence and he set Jake's chart down on the counter by the door.

"I'm Dr. Daren," he said, shaking Jake's hand as he sat down beside him. "I'm from the oncology department."

Mellie squeezed his hand in fear upon hearing 'oncology department' and her heart immediately dropped. He squeezed her hand back, knowing she was already worried.

"When your blood tests came back, your white count came back abnormally high. We ran more blood tests, and nothing else was out of the ordinary. I went ahead and ordered a PET scan and an MRI in an hour, just as a precaution. It could just be trying to fight off an infection, possibly from the gash. It's nothing to worry about until we get the results back," he explained. "It'll take a few hours and then I'll come back and go over them with you."

"Ok," Jake said, a little worried. Dr. Daren quickly left after telling them he would go for the MRI first at seven. Jake turned towards Mellie and saw the worry written across her face already.

"Mels," he sighed. " _Please_ don't worry. Not yet. Let the doctors do that."

"I can't help but worry," she said, tears coming to her eyes. "I've lost too many people close to me, Jake. I worry about you all the time anyway," she laughed.

"I worry about you every second I'm awake," he smiled. "I worry about if you're ok, if you're happy, if you're safe and taken care of, just how you are in general."

"I got tough skin, honey. No need to worry about me," she smiled. "I think you should call Valerie. She's concerned."

"Good idea," he said, wondering where they put his belongings. She handed him her phone and he called Valerie, who immediately picked up.

"Dad," she said happily.

"Hey baby," he said quietly. "It's good to hear your voice."

"It's good to hear from you. How are you? How's your arm?"

"I'll live. Just a little gash, it'll be ok," he said.

"Don't make me ask Mellie how bad it really is," she scolded him. He was notorious for playing things off to not be as bad as they really were, and she knew he was now too.

"Four-inch gash, goes all the way to the bone. Like I said, I'll be ok. They got muscles reattached and I'm sewn back up. I'll be here a few days to make sure it doesn't get infected, but then I'll be back there," he explained.

"I wish I was able to be there with you," she admitted. "I'm glad you're ok."

"Me too, baby. Have you gotten to do anything this morning?"

"I walked up and down the hall about an hour ago. A nurse is supposed to help me take a real shower this afternoon, so that's exciting," she half laughed.

"That's good to hear. I'll be back as soon as possible. Hopefully I'll be out of here in a few days. I love you, Val. Be good," he said.

"I love you too," she said quietly. "Please keep me updated."

"I will. Bye."

They hung up and Jake gave Mellie her phone back, relieved he spoke to his daughter. Her voice comforted him so much, put him at ease no matter what had happened, no matter what he had done.

They didn't even get to speak before two nurses came in early to take him for his MRI, pushing a wheelchair to his bedside. He groaned as he got up, struggling with one arm as Mellie helped him up. He sat down and relaxed, and a nurse looked at Mellie, standing there in old jeans, tennis shoes, and a plain dark gray t-shirt, brown rimmed glasses on and phone in hand.

"Would you like to come with?" The sweet nurse offered, and she looked to Jake for approval. He nodded and she smiled, following them to the MRI machine two floors down.

She watched as they helped him onto the table and she wondered why he kept going back to fighting fires, when all he seemed to do was get hurt. She knew that he didn't feel the pain. He took away the pain someone else would have felt, and he never felt any of it himself. He just wanted to help people, and that's why he didn't quit.

She sat outside the viewing window, not that she could see anything happening with him inside the machine, and sleepily waited for the test to be over. She prayed that he didn't have cancer, because she didn't know how strong he would be then.

He was all she knew right now, and she didn't want to lose him. She didn't know how she would make it without him. She had killed her husband. It was just her and her children now.

Her body started to shake as she realized what a mess her life was right now, what she had turned it into. She had created this monster, this killer, this person she wasn't meant to be.

She went and got some coffee while they did his PET scan, only because he insisted she go to get her mind off him. She made her way to a little coffeehouse down the street with a guard in street clothes with her and to their relief, it wasn't very busy. She thought it was strange, being before seven a.m. and it wasn't packed. But she didn't question it; the last thing she needed were cameras in her face.

They ordered their coffee and sat at a small table in the back corner of the room, away from the obnoxious music playing over the speakers and the sounds of blenders running. Her hands shook slightly out of nervousness, but she convinced herself she was just cold this early in the morning.

"You worry too much," Brian said with a small smile on his face. "He already told you not to worry. They don't know anything yet."

"I'm not worried," she lied, hoping he didn't know her as well as he did.

"Your hands are shaking. You're exhausted. Your hair is a mess. You're worried."

"Is my hair really a mess?" She asked in fear.

"No, it's fine," he laughed. "Trying to lighten the mood."

He went and got their order once it was ready and she relaxed at having something warm to hold.

"So do you think there's more to you two than friends or are you at a standstill?" He asked, wondering if she was ready for a real relationship again, to really love and be loved again for the first time in two decades.

"At first I wanted it to be just friends. That's all I wanted was a close friend. But as time went on, I think we've become more than that, and if I lost him...I don't know what I would do. He's been with me through all of this," she explained.

"You won't lose him, Mellie. He's a good guy. He won't leave you. And he will be ok," Brian assured her. "I bet he'll be done in thirty minutes or less."

"I hope so. I need to call Will and see how Teddy is," she said, picking up her cup and walking outside into the warm August air. She and Brian walked down the sidewalk back towards the hospital and stopped under the entrance awning to call Will. Will assured her Teddy was doing fine and was getting dressed and planning to watch cartoons with Francis and himself.

She breathed a sigh of relief and talked with Teddy for a few minutes about his plans for the morning and she promised him she would be back soon today. The way he told her he loved her melted her heart every time, his sweet little voice and big, brown eyes sincere. She couldn't help but smile as she hung up the phone and went back inside with Brian.

They went inside the gift shop on the first floor before heading upstairs and looked around, trying to kill time. She knew Jake didn't like little gifts like this, so she decided not to get him anything. She would figure out something to do for him besides cook and clean.

She quickly finished browsing and headed back to Jake's room with Brian, who waited outside his door while Mellie went in. She was surprised when she saw another man talking to Jake; it was still early in the day for visitors to be showing up. Jake noticed Mellie came in and smiled as he talked to his friend, interrupting him to introduce them.

"Phil, this is my friend Mellie, Mellie this is Phil. He's the fire chief, and the one who helped me out this morning," he smiled, as Phil and Mellie shook hands. "And Mellie is-"

"The junior senator of Virginia," Phil remarked. "Nice to meet you, Mellie."

"You too, Phil," she smiled, hating she couldn't just be normal right now with a normal job. She didn't like being referred to in unofficial capacity as a senator.

"You should've seen this guy, I'm telling you. He didn't even know he had gotten cut, that's how high the adrenaline is. He loves a thrill. And saving people," Phil sighed. "When you get out of here, we're going out for drinks on me. I gotta go, but I'll see you later, ok? Call me if you need anything, Jake."

"Will do. Thanks," he said, shaking Phil's hand and watching him leave. The doctor knocked on the door and came in, and Jake was surprised to see him so soon.

"Dr. Daren," Jake said quietly, wondering what his outcome was.

"Can I speak with you privately, please?" He said gruffly, and Mellie knew she needed to leave. She smiled and told Jake she would be in the hall, then left.

Dr. Daren set his clipboard down and stood by Jake's side, hating when he had to break bad news to patients.

"The results came back. The MRI showed a mediastinal mass in your chest, so we ran another blood test. We did find some things on the PET scan. The blood test came back positive for stage III B cell lymphoma, a cancer affecting the lymphatic system-your immune system. It's becoming common in firefighters. At this time, it's in the lymph nodes on both sides of your diaphragm and the tumor is in the right lymphatic duct. We're afraid if we don't act soon, it'll spread to your lungs. The good news is, even at your later stage, it's still treatable," Dr. Daren explained. "All your glands are a little swollen, but that's just because of the cancer."

"What do we do about the tumor?"

"Since it's about the size of a racquetball, I want to see if we can shrink it first and then remove it," he explained. "The cancer is in your whole immune system, but the tumor is stationary in your chest, for now. Your immune system will be weakened tremendously, so you'll need to limit who you stay around."

Jake sat there, dumbfounded for a minute. This didn't feel real. He came in for a gash and came out with cancer.

"Did you have any symptoms like fatigue, chills, sweating, coughing, fever?"

"A cough here and there, but I'm a firefighter; I don't think much about it. It's summer, so I can't say I've noticed excessive sweating," Jake said. He knew Mellie was waiting in the hall, ready to hear what the doctor had to say. "I don't want to be negative here, but what's the survival rate of this?"

"Most cases, over 60%. Many more are cured. If we start treatments immediately, your outlook is good. We'll start with twelve chemotherapy treatments over four weeks and do more tests then. We'll do radiation and immunotherapy twice a week the days you don't have chemotherapy. I'll have a nurse set you up with a social worker and the insurance company. I'll be back in a little while," he said, taking his clipboard and walking out of the room. Jake sighed, sitting there in shock, trying to figure out how he would tell his daughter he had cancer. He knew Mellie would take it hard, but she would be ok. Valerie didn't have anyone left besides him. He almost felt sick to his stomach; he didn't know what all his treatment would be like. He texted his boss to meet up with him later that day to discuss working; he knew he had missed a lot already and would have to take off for this. He feared he wouldn't have a job soon.

Mellie walked in, her glasses now on top of her head, and wondered what the doctor had said. Jake made room for her to sit on the bed and patted the spot beside him with a small, fake smile. His heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces; he didn't want to have to tell her this.

She sat down and faced him, holding his hand. His eyes had become glossy, filled with fear. She could see the worry on his face, but thought nothing of it since he had been worried about his arm.

"What'd he say?" She asked softly, and he couldn't help but smile. He always did this, smiling and laughing at the wrong time. He looked her in her beautiful, blue, tired eyes and sighed.

"I have Stage III B cell lymphoma disease. Cancer of the immune system. Said my immune system will be pretty weak and it's common in firefighters," he smiled. "Survival rates are high, over 60%. He said I have to sign off on treatments and I'll have chemo three times a week and radiation twice a week for a month. My boss is coming down to discuss it later. I'll probably have to quit," he sighed softly. "But it's ok. We caught it in time."

Mellie's heart skipped a beat and all expression left her face as she tried not to cry. Her friend had cancer. And he didn't seem too upset. She wondered how he kept that positive, relaxed mentality all the time. But he wasn't worried, so she wouldn't worry either. Not unless she needed to. She would just help him out in any way she could.

"When are you planning on telling Valerie?" She asked.

"I hope to be out of here tomorrow, so I'll fly down there and see her one more time before I start treatments. She should be there another a week for recovery from reconstruction, then I should be able to get her here for recovery," he explained. "I haven't even gotten the house ready for her, I don't know if she needs anything special or not-"

"Jake. Breathe," Mellie told him, squeezing his hand. "We'll handle it. One thing at a time. Focus on telling her, then we'll worry about getting the house ready, ok?"

He nodded and took a deep breath, barely holding back his sobs. She moved up the bed and sat beside him, putting her arms around him, being gentle with his arm. He broke down and cried on her shoulder as she held him close, rubbing his good arm and rocking them gently. He was so afraid and she knew it, even if he didn't want her to.

"Don't you worry about a thing," she whispered. "I'll get you a ride to treatments every day. I'll make sure you and Valerie are taken care of. You can stay with me if you need to. This will work out."

Then it hit her. What if he didn't make it through this? What if he lost this fight?

She would worry about it another day.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?" Mellie asked, getting out of her car in Jake's driveway. She took him home from the hospital early Wednesday morning and he was just stopping to get some clothes before he caught a ride with Hollis. He had some business in Georgia and Jake was glad for the ride; he didn't want to fly commercial and pay extra for a last minute ticket. He smiled as he unlocked his front door and they went inside, going to pack his small leather bag.

"You have work," he explained.

"And your daughter is in the hospital."

"You know, if you miss enough days, I bet they would kick you off the Senate," he teased. "You _do_ have to show up for those meetings, you know."

"I know, I know. I've used almost half of my vacation days. That's ok. I still have more."

He went to his room and threw a few shirts and pair of jeans in his bag, not knowing what he'll need. He ran back down to the kitchen to get some plastic wrap to wrap up his arm with and found her making coffee.

"You want anything to eat?" She asked.

"I'll get some toast after a shower. I'm not real hungry," he said, grabbing the roll of plastic wrap out of the cabinet and starting his to wrap his arm up. He grabbed duct tape out of the counter drawer and taped it up, struggling a little.

"You want some help?" Mellie offered.

"I got it," he sighed, not wanting to have to be dependent on her. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he said as he walked back down the hallway and to his bathroom to take a shower.

He stayed in there longer than usual, using the hot water and time to think. To think about how to tell his daughter he had cancer, to explain the consequences if these treatments didn't work.

He cried the entire shower, afraid for her future. He had lived enough of his life. He wondered who would watch out for her, who would make sure she was taken care of. He pushed these thoughts and feelings to the back of his mind, knowing Mellie was waiting on him. He shampooed his hair and quickly got out, throwing on a pair of jeans, an old Navy shirt and his favorite blue running shoes and finished packing his bag. He grabbed his computer and headphones and threw them in his leather bag, ready to be with Valerie. He grabbed his bags and headed downstairs, hoping Mellie wasn't going to worry him.

He found her sitting at his kitchen table, reading his Bible he had left on the counter. She took a sip of her coffee and turned the page, quickly reading it and closing the book. She felt comfort in the situation now, putting her worry in God's hands.

"Wanna share?" He asked, grabbing some water out of the fridge and taking a drink. He loved watching her read, the Bible making it a plus.

"John 14:27. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid," she smiled. "Is your arm dry?"

"Yeah, plastic wrap worked pretty good. Bookmark that verse. I have a feeling I'll be needing it a lot soon. You need me to do anything before I leave?" He asked.

"No, I'm good. Do you need me to do anything while you're gone?"

"No, don't worry about me. You just take care of Teddy. I'll be back soon. Hopefully she'll be coming here soon," he said.

"Hopefully. Going to Hollis's?" She asked, picking up his Bible and her keys and following him out the door. He put his Bible in his bag, thankful for Mellie. He wouldn't be able to get through this without her.


	18. You and I

**A/N:** Jake sees how the cancer will affect him and learns a new truth about Mellie. Please leave a review and thanks for reading!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Jake walked into the hospital with his bags, checking in at the desk and grabbing his visitor pass to see Valerie. He thanked the nurses, who knew his name by now, and headed up to the fourth floor.

He walked into his daughter's room and found her wounds to be looking much better after two grafts and electroshock therapy. She could now feel the right side of her face more, but still had her pretty eye patch on and her hearing aid in. She looked great, even with the few blonde streaks in her brown hair.

"Hey Dad," she said happily. "I wasn't expecting you today. I thought you were coming tomorrow."

"There was a slight change of plans," he sighed, setting his bags down by the tan couch and pulling up a chair by her bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better. I have more feeling in my face. And me and Cameron got to hang out earlier," she said. "It was nice to have something to do."

"Hung out, huh? Tell me about this guy," Jake said curiously with a smile.

"He's eighteen. He got burned in a gas explosion. He was grilling one day and the tank was loose and exploded on him. His legs are burned, had to have his left foot amputated. He was very nice. We played cards, raced around the unit, just talked. Made plans to do it again soon," she laughed.

"Looks like I'll have to keep my eye out then," Jake teased. "I trust you, baby. I'm glad you have a friend here when I can't be."

"So how are you doing? How's your arm?" She asked, pulling a blanket up closer to her waist. She saw the hurt surface in his eyes and knew something wasn't good. He took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeve to show her the bandaged up gash.

"Does it still hurt?" She asked calmly.

"They got me on pain meds for it, so not much," he said. "Look, Val, I have something I need to tell you. I don't know how you'll react, but it will be ok."

She knew it was serious and held his hand tightly, now concerned about him.

"While I was in the hospital, they had to do some blood tests and scans, of course," he sighed. "They found a few things abnormal other than my arm, mainly blood work. So we had an MRI done and a PET scan. They showed that I have stage III B cell lymphoma. It's cancer of the immune system. There's a tumor near my lungs, in a lymphatic duct," he said. Tears came to her eyes and the lump forming in her throat forbade her from speaking.

"But the doctor told me not to worry because there's over a 60% survival rate, and it's usually much higher than that. It's becoming common in firefighters. He said I'll do chemotherapy Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and radiation on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a month. Then we'll see how the tumor and the rest of the cancer is and if we can remove the tumor. I know this is a lot at once, baby, and I'm sorry. I know you needed to know, and I wanted you to hear it from me," he said softly, and she nodded, crying into her hands. He rubbed her hands until she calmed down enough to let him sit beside her, and then he kept his arms around her.

"Baby, I promise it will be ok. I'm not worried about it, and you know if I'm not worried, there's no need for you to be worried. I'll feel pretty bad during treatments, but before and after that, I will be the same," he assured her.

"Are you in pain?" She asked, wiping her eyes and snuggling up closer to him.

"Not at all," he said.

"Will you still be able to work?" She asked. "I know...coming to see me hasn't helped-"

"My boss understands family comes first. You're almost 600 miles away from me and you're hurt. I'm going to come see you. And if I lose my job, you don't need to be worrying about it. I'll handle it," he said, knowing as soon as he got back he needed to go do a couple runs for Hollis.

"When do you start treatments?"

"Next week. You'll be home then; that is, I'm hoping you come to D.C. Mellie said she'll help me if I need it. I figure it'll be a lot of sleeping," he sighed. "I'm sorry, baby."

"Dad, don't be sorry. You couldn't prevent this. I couldn't prevent the gun from jamming. We'll be ok," she said. "Maybe I'll start school or something next semester."

"That's an idea," he said. "Go be a lawyer or a surgeon," he laughed.

"Nice try," she said. "You want to go meet Cameron?"

"Sure, why not?" He shrugged. "You want the chair or are we walking this time?"

"I'll walk. I'm not that dizzy right now," she said, getting up out of her bed. She had on some sweatpants Jake bought her and her soft, blue gown and matching slip-resistant socks. She brushed her hair quickly and Jake offered his good arm for her to hold on to, and they started down the hall. They went slow, but he was amazed at her progress. She could now walk well, and she was no longer ashamed of how she looked or her eye patch or hearing aid. Her face looked better every day, and her shoulder was healing nicely.

They got to Cameron's room and she knocked on his open door, announcing her entrance.

"It's Valerie. I brought someone with me," she said.

"Ok," he said. "I got therapy in thirty minutes, just so you know."

"We won't be long," she said, coming around the corner and Cameron's eyes met her, then went to Jake. Jake escorted her over to the chair by Cameron's bed and could tell she liked this guy based off the look in her eyes.

"This is my dad, Jake. Dad, this is Cameron," she said shyly, and they shook each other's hands. Cameron was surprised to meet her father, but couldn't be upset.

"Nice to meet you, sir. I've heard good things about you," Cameron said.

"Same for you," Jake smiled. "Val tells me y'all had a fun time the other night."

"Yes, sir. We watched some TV, played a few rounds of spades, a nurse snuck us some candy. We raced around the floor in our wheelchairs, which the nurses weren't too excited about. But we had a lot of fun," he explained.

"That's good. How old are you, Cameron?"

"I'm eighteen. I'm a freshman at Georgia State. Well, was. I was on spring break when the accident happened at home here in Savannah, and I've missed too much school to go back this semester. So hopefully I'll be able to go back in the fall," he explained.

"What's your major?" Jake asked.

"Electrical engineering. I always wanted to be an electrician, and I knew I needed to go to college, so this is it," he said with a smile. "Valerie tells me you were a Naval aviator?"

"That's correct," Jake said, feeling his cheeks turning pink. He loved flying planes, and he missed doing it for the Navy. He was always a little caught off guard when someone mentioned it now; he was used to being a recruiter now

"That's awesome. Thank you for your service. I thought I wanted to be a pilot when I was little. That changed once I actually flew in an airplane," he laughed. "It wasn't bad, but I saw a picture of all the controls in the cockpit and found out it took years to get your license, so I decided against it."

"You adjust quickly," Jake shrugged. "But anyway. You staying here or going back with me?" He asked his daughter, ready to go back to her room.

"I'll go on back. I know you gotta go soon and this new medicine is making me sleepy," she yawned, patting Cameron's arm. He laughed and promised to see her later as Jake helped her back to her room. He got her comfortable in bed and tucked in, turning the lights down low. It wasn't even lunchtime, and she was exhausted. She hated the side effects of the medicine they gave her to make sure her face healed, but knew she needed it. Jake went over to her couch and laid down, dozing off too. He heard a nurse come by about an hour later and start her a new IV, write it down, and quietly leave. He was thankful for some rest, even if it wasn't long.

* * *

"Dad?" Valerie asked quietly around three that afternoon, just as they were both waking up.

"What's up? You need something?" He asked, getting up off the couch and to his feet.

"No, I'm fine," she said. "You can sit back down. I was just wondering...if you maybe had a picture of my mom I could see. I just wonder if we look alike."

Jake felt his heart sinking deeper into his chest, knowing this day would come sooner or later. He had nothing left of Lela to show his daughter and he felt horrible about it. She had no family to contact, so he never tried calling anyone.

"I don't have any pictures of her, but I bet I can get you one today," he said. "Let me make a phone call about it."

"Ok," she said, curious as to where he would get a picture. She knew the circumstances Jake and Lela were put under and knew her mother's background. She knew she never could or would know much about her. Valerie just couldn't understand why her mother didn't want her.

Jake spoke quickly and hung up, waiting on a picture from Hollis, who was retrieving it from a friend. Ten minutes later Jake received the photo of Lela on his phone, and he couldn't help but admire her. He had never paid much attention to her features: her light blue eyes, wavy blonde hair, light skin tone. Her smile was beautiful. He wished things had worked out differently for her benefit. But he wouldn't change a thing; he loved Valerie too much.

"Here you go," he said, handing her the phone. She stared in awe of her mother, immediately noticing her eyes and facial shape, their most similar features.

"Do you know anything about her?" She asked quietly, not looking away from the phone.

"She wanted to go to pharmacy school. She had a cat named Jack. Her intentions seemed good," he sighed. "You look a lot like her the older you get."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he whispered with a smile.

"I wish I could've known her," Valerie whispered.

"I wish you could have too. But honestly, I wouldn't change the way any of this happened. I wish I could've given you more, done more, been there more. But I've loved you since the day I first held you in my arms," he said happily, sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her hand. He understood her pain; he didn't want to see Lela gone either.

"You did the best you could, Dad. I love you too," she said, hugging him tightly.

* * *

Mellie drove Jake home from his first day of treatment the following Monday, which had taken four hours. He was exhausted, half asleep as Mellie went inside to get him. He wouldn't let her stay for treatment, not for the first time. He was afraid of how he would react to the medicine and didn't want her to see him like that. He looked cold, pale, and in pain as she approached him. He said nothing as they went to her car and got in, going to his house.

"Do you need to stop anywhere?" she asked, and he whispered no. She knew he hadn't slept well the night before, worried about going to the doctor. She took him straight home, helping him inside and to his room. He sat on the bed as she pulled out his sweatpants and a clean t-shirt from his dresser. He took off his jeans and plaid shirt, tossing them in the floor and putting on his clean, comfortable clothes. She reached to pick up his clothes to wash and he stopped her.

"I'll get it later. I'll just wash all my chemo clothes at the end of the week. They have to be washed twice," he explained. "They ordered another scan Wednesday to double check if it's spread. They're going to inject me with a dye to make my lymph nodes show up. They'll do it before chemo."

"Do you want me to come? I can push back the press event-"

"Mellie, don't worry about me. You have your life to live. I have mine. You have much greater aspirations and a brighter future than me, a commoner. Don't put your job on the line for me, ok?" He said, wishing she would understand.

"You are more than just a 'commoner' or whatever, Jake. You are a war hero, an asset to this country and keeping it safe. But you better call me if you need me," she said sternly.

"Deal," he whispered. "I think I'm just going to lie down for a little while. Maybe I'll feel better."

"Ok. I'm going to go check on Teddy, but Brian is staying here in case you need something. Don't hesitate to ask him for anything. I'll be back in a few hours. I'll make you some dinner if you feel up to it."

"Ok. Thank you, for all of this," he said genuinely. "Be careful."

"I will. You just rest," she smiled, kissing his forehead. He smiled as she left the room and once he heard the front door shut, he passed out.

* * *

Mellie made it back to Jake's house around seven and found Jake asleep on the couch this time, the TV on the news. She walked in with a tote bag and Teddy behind her and Brian shut the door behind them.

"Poor thing," Mellie whispered as she took her things to the kitchen. "How has he been?"

"He got up around five, thought he wanted toast, couldn't keep it down, and ended up watching the news for ten minutes before he passed out again," Brian said.

"He's a fighter, but this is going to keep him down and out for a while until he gets adjusted," Mellie sighed. "We'll be in the kitchen. Why don't you take a break and go clean up or get something to eat? I have food in the fridge at home and clothes you can wear. Francis is still in the car on the phone."

"I'll take you up on the food," he smiled. "Call me if you need me. I'll see you Wednesday if not. Bye, Mellie."

"Bye, Brian," she said, glad to let him off. She pulled out her campaign schedule for the week and went over it and her speeches while Teddy did his homework. She was leaving for them tomorrow morning since she agreed to bring Jake home after his first Monday treatment today. Jake woke up around nine and was surprised to see them there, but was glad.

"Hey," he said softly, going in the kitchen and sitting by Mellie.

"Hey, baby. How are you doing?" She asked, rubbing his arm.

"Better than earlier," he said. "I feel like I wasted the day away sleeping. If this is how it'll always be, I'll be out of a job in no time," he laughed. "My boss was fine with cutting back my hours to three days a week, but I don't know if I'll be able to handle it."

The next thought was he could do a few runs for Hollis and be good for a little while. Hollis always paid big money, and he had to take care of himself and Valerie.

"Jake, look," Teddy said happily, showing him his handwriting sheet. Mellie smiled, glad she let him go back to actually school after a week and a half of lessons at home. He was much happier there.

"That's great, little man," he said, giving him a fist bump. "What did you learn today?"

"We learned math and grew a tree," he said excitedly.

"You grew a tree? In one day?" He asked, acting surprised. Teddy nodded with a smile and Jake gasped.

"That's amazing! You'll have to show it to me sometime, ok?" He said as he went over the stove and put a can of chicken noodle soup on to warm up.

"There's probably other stuff in the fridge if y'all want something," he said. "Sorry I don't have much."

"We ate dinner right before we came here. It's fine," Mellie said. She noticed his picc line under his sleeve and wondered if it bothered him.

"What's that, Jake?" Teddy asked, pointing to the tube. Jake sat down by Teddy and pulled up his sleeve.

"It's where the nurses give me my medicine," he explained. "It's just a little tube."

"Does it hurt?" Teddy asked, concerned for his friend. He held on to his pencil tightly, in awe of everything Jake said.

"Not at all," he said. "It just feels a little funny is all."

"Does it come out?"

"Nope. My nurse makes sure it stays in tight. If it came out, my arm might get infected and sick," Jake explained.

"Oh," Teddy said, "it better not get sick."

"It's not likely to happen, buddy," he reassured him. "I gotta call Val real quick, I promised her I would today and this is the first time I've been awake-"

"Jake, it's fine. Go ahead," Mellie told him.

Jake fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed his daughter, ready to hear her voice. He missed her more than he could imagine when he was stuck in D.C. for treatments and she was still in Georgia.

"Hey Dad," she answered happily. "How are you?"

"I'm hanging in there. That first treatment was rough. How are you?" He asked, glad to hear she sounded ok.

"Ready to be done with these medicines. These side effects are draining me," she laughed. "When do you think you could come down again?"

"Possibly this weekend, why do you ask?" He said, and began to be concerned. "Do you still plan on coming home in a week or so?"

"That's the plan, but it might be two weeks. It's nothing major. The eye surgeon told me I would go for a scan Monday to see if any of my sight could be saved in my bad eye. He just wondered if you wanted to be here for the results," she said.

"Do _you_ want me to be there?" He asked sincerely.

"Of course I do, but if you aren't feeling up to it, I understand. Besides, you need to stay somewhat isolated. Exposure to another hospital isn't being isolated. I can handle it, Dad."

"I know you can, Val. But if I can make it, I'll be there, ok?" He told her, and she smiled, knowing he never wanted to leave her alone there. "How's Cameron?"

"He's good. We got to go outside today into the courtyard, so that was nice. It felt so good to have the sun in my face and the warm air on my skin," she explained happily.

"I bet so. How's your shoulder?"

"A few nerves are still bothering me," she said. "They're supposed to look at it again tomorrow."

"Hang in there, ok, baby? I know it's hard. I know you're afraid you won't get back to training. But you can't give up," he encouraged her.

"Ok," she said, and he heard the slight sadness in her voice. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

"Are you really ok?" She asked, hating she wasn't there with him.

"I'll be fine, I promise. It'll just take some adjusting."

"Ok. Let me know if I can do anything. I gotta go. Love you."

"Thanks. Love you. Bye."

Jake hung up and put his phone back in his pocket, then held Mellie's hand.

"You're worried," she said softly.

"Of course."

"About what?"

"A little bit of everything," he sighed.

"What specifically? Don't say there isn't one, because I can see it on your face," she fought back.

"Don't worry about it," he told her. She didn't need to know he was worried about money. That was his business and his business alone.

"Jake."

"Don't worry about it, Mel," he said, getting up and turning his soup off. "I'll let you know if you need to know."

* * *

Mellie sat up in the guest room and read a book while Teddy slept in the queen sized guest bed. She looked at her watch - it was now 2:25 a.m. - and she had no bills to review. She had four campaigns lined up for the next week for her charity and funding for veterans of Virginia, so it wasn't too hard of a week. She was still ahead in the polls, she had little worry about right now. She couldn't sleep. She was worried about Jake. She was worried about Valerie. She knew she could help, but only so much.

She heard his bathroom door slam down the hall a few minutes later and wondered if he was ok. She knew the doctor said fatigue, nausea, and vomiting were the usual side effects of the chemo, and after the first few treatments it got either better or worse. She quietly got up and went to his room, seeing the bathroom light on under the door. She walked over to it and leaned against the wall, hoping he didn't push her away.

"Are you ok?" She asked softly. The toilet flushed and he sighed before answering her, hating she was outside.

"I'll be ok. It's just the medicine," he said hoarsely before getting sick again. "Just..."

"I'll be down the hall if you need me," she said, leaving him alone. She heard him sigh exhaustedly and wanted to cry. These treatments were going to take a toll on him.

She went back to the guest bedroom and prayed for him, asking God to heal him of this awful disease. She was alone, just her and her thoughts, until he came down and stood in the doorway about thirty minutes later.

He was still in his sweatpants and a white t-shirt and nodded toward his room, and she smiled and followed. They laid on his bed and he took a few sips of a cup of water he left on his nightstand, feeling weak.

"Can I do anything for you?" Mellie asked softly, her voice comforting to him. He snuggled closer to her and put his arm around her, glad she was there.

"I'm ok. The side effects are just hitting me hard," he said. "It's fine."

"Well you know if you need something, all you have to do is let me know," she said, rubbing his chest in tiny circles with her soft hand. "I'll do whatever you need me to."

"I don't want you feeling like you have to take care of me, Mellie," he said sternly. "That's not your job."

"Well, I'll make it my job," she shot back. "You need someone to take care of you."

"I'm a grown man."

"With a barely working immune system. About to be deep in chemotherapy and radiation. Which means being sick," she added.

"I can take care of myself."

"Damn it, Jake. I love you, so let me take care of you," she growled.

"We'll see," he laughed, loving when she got worked up. The way her eyes slightly changed color, the sharpness of her tone of voice, the wall she put up all turned him on. She was bold, and he loved that about her. She ran her fingers through his hair and back down to his chest, glad to have this intimate time with him.

"They said my hair would probably fall out next week. I'm thinking about just shaving it," he said.

"Are you worried about that?"

"Nah, I've shaved my head before. It's been a few years, but I'll put a beanie on and be fine," he assured her. He wasn't worried about his looks during his time with cancer. Looks were just a plus to personality in his mind.

"So do you really...do you really not see our differences?" He questioned, propping himself up on an elbow. She quickly copied him, wanting to hear his answer.

"What are these differences you keep talking about, Jake?" She asked, starting to get frustrated with him.

"Who we are. I'm just your average guy, came from a working-class family, went to school, joined the Navy, became a fighter pilot. Nothing special. I went to public school and drove a piece of junk in high school. You, on the other hand, are a different story. You come from a high class, wealthy family; a doctor and a lawyer, to be exact. You went to Yale Law after undergrad, met Fitz at a bar, fell in love, and followed him on his journey to become governor, and later, President of the United States. You come from money and rich people, and I come from...the backwoods of Virginia. We're different people, Mels," he explained.

"You say that," she smiled. "But none of that matters. Do you think I care if you have money or if I don't? I care about personality, character, soul," she told him. "You're doing good there."

"Yeah, right," he joked.

"I didn't meet him at a bar," she said coldly, remembering the night she met Fitz. "That story was all for the press. It's the lie we've told for the past 20 years," she sighed, her body shaking.

"Mels, you don't have to tell me," he whispered. And she didn't. He didn't care to know any more about her life with Fitz than she was willing to share.

"It's ok," she exhaled, fighting to urge to leave, to run away and never face him again.

"Yale lost some funding for the law school, so my scholarship got cut. My dad got sick and couldn't practice law, and all the money my mom made went towards his medical bills. They couldn't pay for my school. So I ended up taking up stripping. I made some good money too, the best I saw for years after. But one night Fitz came in drunk with his friends, and he dropped twenty grand on me," she sighed. Jake's heart sank, never knowing this side of her. "Why me, I don't know. He didn't know me. He had never been in there before. All I knew was I had seen him in one of my law classes."

"It's against the law to sell the dancers, but my boss 'made an exception' for $20,000. Off I went, forced to have sex with this drunk, rich preppy boy. He took me home and we unfortunately had sex, and the next day we flew to California, where I met his father. He was the one who said Fitz needed a wife, needed someone to look good for his campaign. He said I was perfect and he would put me on the payroll Monday. He handed me $30,000 in cash then and Fitz took me back to Connecticut to get my things and move in with him there. It was basically prostitution," she choked out. "But my school was paid for. My future was set. My life was laid out before me. And here I am."

"Mellie," Jake sighed, tears almost coming to his eyes. He wished he could take away the pain of her haunting past. "I am so sorry."

"Don't be. It may be twenty years of my life I can't get back, but I don't totally regret it. I was First Lady. I saw the world. I was respected. I had three wonderful kids. I became a senator. And I met you," she said with a smile.

"Those parts are nice. But do you regret it for losing him, for having to bury your son, for getting divorced?" Jake asked, wondering how much she really regretted her life.

"Losing Jerry was the hardest. That, and the assault..." She trailed off, trying to shut these memories out.

"Mels," he said softly, trying to comfort her.

"It's nothing," she whispered coldly. "Forget I brought it up."

She got up out of the bed and went back to the guest room, increasing the cold distance between them. Jake laid there, dumbfounded, and didn't know how far they had actually progressed in their relationship anymore.


	19. Better, Part 1

**A/N:** Sorry for updating late! This is multi-part flashback chapter, giving more insight into Mellie's past in stripping and how she met Fitz. I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

 ** _*FLASHBACK*_**

Before she had straightened up her life, Mellie had gone down a road she didn't expect. In college and law school, she needed money to pay for school when her father lost his job. She tried odd jobs here and there, but nothing made enough money. She was waiting at a bus stop in the city one evening when a man came up to her and asked how much she charged for sex. She looked down and quickly examined herself. She realized the netted black pantyhose, long, dark pea coat, and the black heels she had worn out with her friends weren't doing much to help. It was then she wondered if she could or should take up stripping. Not that she wanted to be a stripper; but it was this or get kicked out of school because she couldn't pay, because she couldn't pay back loans either.

So she applied at a strip club fifteen minutes from her school and came in for an interview. She got the job immediately since they had been short staffed, and her stage name was Crystal. She took the stage that night, learning how to properly and tirelessly dance around the cold metal pole as she removed what few clothes she had on. She got lots of compliments and tips the first night, which made her feel a little better about choosing to do this kind of work.

That's how she and Fitz met. He came in with his roommate one Thursday night, who left soon after to go help out his drunken friend at a party get home, and Fitz walked straight over to her stage. He acted like his seat was reserved, like this was routine for him. Their eyes met and Mellie could see the lust in his eyes. She pretended to ignore him until he had gone through three drinks and called the waitress over to his seat. She noticed there were only two other men at her stage, watching the other girl on the pole next to her dance. She saw Fitz hand the waitress a stack of cash and she took it into the back room. Mellie walked offstage five minutes later and into her dressing room, seeing Fitz with a smirk on his face as she walked away.

"Crystal, pack your bag, a patron has bought you," the club owner, Mr. Lowes, said. Mellie stopped in her tracks and had a shocked look on her face.

"But I- I thought they couldn't do that," she said. "It's club policy-"

"When twenty-grand is offered, I can make changes," he explained. "Here's your three, pack your bag, and go with him. I'll see you Monday night." He handed her her share of the money and put his in his pocket.

"Mr. Lowes-"

" _Do you want to be fired?_ You will do as I say as long as you work here," he growled, slamming the door behind him as he left.

She couldn't believe it. Her heart sank. Dancing around 90% naked for money was one thing, but to be prostituted was another. She also wondered why Mr. Lowes said he would see her Monday; tomorrow was her scheduled day to work. She couldn't turn down this money, so she packed her bag and went out into the lounge, wearing a coat over her show clothes, and walked over to Fitz.

"Crystal, right?" He asked, finishing his drink.

"Yes," she said quietly, not looking him in the eye.

"Fitz," he smiled. "My ride is outside. We have to be quick about getting in and out."

She nodded and followed him outside to the black limo he came in. She was shocked; but for $20,000, she should've known he was a rich boy. He opened the door and she got in, and he slid in beside her. He shut the door and the driver began down the road as the clock read 10:45 p.m.

"Go the long way, Harold," Fitz shouted to the driver as he rolled up the partition. Mellie sat on one of the side seats while he sat on the back. He must have seen the fear, the worry in her eyes.

"So, Crystal...I was thinking $5,000 for the night. We'll figure out the boundaries as we go along," he said, looking her over once more.

"I'm not a prostitute," she said, wondering how she ever ended up here. "Just tell me what you want me to do, I'll do it. Give me the money, and let me go," she said shakily. She wondered what he was going to do, if she would even be alive in 24 hours. What if he slipped her some drugs? What if he took her out to the middle of nowhere and left her?

"Well, for starters..." He said, sitting up and taking off his belt, desire burning in his gray eyes. "Why don't you come over here and show me what you're really capable of?"

Mellie tried to stop her body from shaking as she got up from her seat, almost unable to get up with her four inch black stilettos on. She unbuttoned her coat and exposed her black netted boy-shorts and black lacy bra to him as she sat on the edge of his lap.

She held on to his shoulders and saw the burning lust in his gray eyes as she straddled his lap, the black leather-covered seat cold to her bare knees. She pressed her body against his and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, kissing his warm neck. She felt disgusting right now. This wasn't part of her job.

She pulled away and stroked his thighs, trying to make her way through this. He rested his hands on her hips and let his fingers dance along her bare sides, trying to get her coat off. She helped him out and took it off, letting it fall to the floor.

Fitz pulled her body closer to him and touched every part of her body he could, resting his hands over her breasts.

"You are gorgeous," he whispered, kissing her neck, slowly moving across her warm skin down to her collarbone, then her breasts, then her stomach when they felt the car stop. She was so thankful; maybe she could get out of it now. She put her coat on and Fitz opened his door and took her up to his apartment. He unlocked the front door quietly, hoping not to wake his roommate this late, and took her to his room upstairs. He turned on a lamp and shut the door first, locking it behind him. Mellie sat down in the first chair she saw and set her bag down beside it. Her heart was beating fast, she was nervous and not wanting to be here, to have sex with him.

"Relax, Crystal. You want a drink?" He offered, unbuttoning his soft shirt and exposing his firm core.

"No, thank you," she whispered, sitting in the chair for a moment.

"I'm not going to put drugs in it," he sighed, taking his shirt off and throwing it near his hamper. "Just relax, I don't bite. I'm not going to hurt you."

She stared into his soft gray eyes and despised him. She knew she should call the police, but she didn't want to risk going to jail, either.

She decided to suffer.

He walked into the bathroom and combed his hair, then came back out, still wearing his jeans.

"You travel much?" Fitz asked, grabbing a plain white t-shirt out of his dresser and setting it on top. He just wanted to make conversation.

"No."

"You got kids or another job or anything?"

"School," she whispered.

"Ever wanted to visit California?"

"Maybe someday," she shrugged.

"In the morning I'll take you to your house and let you pack a bag. We're going visit my father in California tomorrow," Fitz explained. "I already talked to your boss about work this weekend, don't sweat it."

Mellie thought about telling him she couldn't go, that she had a case to work on this weekend and she couldn't spend it all in California. She was thankful she didn't have a Friday class, but she did have work to be done. But she knew better; he was paying her, and she needed this money.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you have time to do homework or whatever. I got some work I need to do too," he said, grabbing his suitcase out of his closet and throwing some clothes in it. Mellie just sat back and watched. She felt sick. She regretted ever taking this job.

"May I ask who your father is?" She said quietly.

"He's the governor of California. He thinks a big shot, keeps trying to convince me to run for the position when I'm done with law school. Who knows," he said.

"Why am I going with you?" She asked, now realizing she was dealing with _somebody_.

"Don't worry about it. You're safe, ok? I wouldn't be giving you so much money if you weren't going to be alive," Fitz told her. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm fine," Mellie lied. She hadn't eaten since before her shift. She was starving. "Can we just...get whatever you want do over with, _please_?"

"Why rush things?" Fitz asked, grabbing a tie out of his closet and throwing it to her. "Let's make things more... _interesting_."

She took a deep breath and knew she had to get in the right mindset for this. She knew it would only be an hour or so of this and then she would be ok.

She took him in as they met near the bed, and he watched her every move as she unbuttoned and removed his pants and blue boxer briefs. She tried to block out all pleasurable thoughts of her own; she was still a virgin herself and everything she knew she had learned from movies, books, TV, and friends' experiences.

They said almost nothing the whole time, as she tried to rush things. Fitz quickly noticed and began to take control, as much as he could once she laid him down on the bed and tied his hands to the headboard posts. She took off her lacy bra and dropped it in the floor, uncomfortable completely exposing herself to a stranger like this. She obeyed his commands and rested her body on top of his, then began to take her netted shorts off. She felt him staring at her breasts and knew she was making a mistake.

"Just relax," he whispered, "There's nothing to worry about. You're beautiful."

She pushed all her negative thoughts to the back of her mind and tried to forget about the faint sick feeling she had in her stomach as she prepared to have sex with this stranger, to give a tiny piece of herself away.

* * *

Mellie woke up in Fitz's bed beside him around 6 am and remembered where she was and what she had done. Their clothes piled up in the floor and the three used condoms surrounding them were a harsh reminder of the night.

She had just given away her virginity for $5000, something she never thought she'd have to put a price on.

She shuddered at the thought, quickly getting up to take a shower to cleanse herself of this filth, _his_ filth. She picked up her bag and opened the bathroom door when Fitz spoke up.

"Where are you going?" He said sleepily yet commanding. His deep voice startled her and she almost dropped everything.

"To take a shower," she said quietly.

"Come lay down, just for a few minutes," he said, and she got back in the bed against her will. He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek, very comfortable with all of this. She wondered how often he did this, bought out strippers or had one night stands with girls. She tried not to cringe at his touch, but she couldn't force herself to try to entertain or please him any longer.

Fitz sighed deeply, happy with her, oblivious to her current feelings of disgust. He knew they couldn't lay in bed all day. He wanted to get to California as soon as he possibly could.

"I'm gonna go make breakfast while you take a shower. We'll eat and I'll shower, then we'll leave, ok? My dad said the plane would be ready whenever we got to the airport," he told her as he got up out of bed and put his blue boxers on. "There's razors and stuff under the sink. Use whatever you need. Shower's down the hall."

He left her there, all alone. She was thankful for this peace, even if it was momentary. She knew her shower couldn't last long, and she knew she wouldn't get any peace again until Monday morning and she had class. Come that night, she would have to go to back to work and be surrounded by this filth again.

She wasted no time putting on her coat and grabbing her bag, going to the bathroom and locking the door. She turned on the hot shower, wondering who she could tell she was going out of town. She texted her roommate, wondering if she even cared, but at least someone would know where she was if something happened to her. She removed her worn makeup with the small amount of Vaseline she found in their cabinet, wondering if they ever actually bought new toiletries. She plugged her phone up to her charger and grabbed a new razor and soap from under the sink. She took a fluffy blue towel and washcloth out of the closet and stepped in the shower, so glad to feel somewhat clean after last night. She had to constantly remind herself the amount of money she earned, all for having sex with him. It would all be worth it in the end, she hoped.

She changed into the street clothes she wore yesterday to the club, wishing she had something else. But she wouldn't dare ask to go home. He couldn't know she went to Yale. He couldn't figure this out. She kept the razor and took her bag back to his room, brushing her hair when she got there. She put on some mascara and a little gray eyeshadow, then went downstairs. She found Fitz making eggs and toast for lack of pancake mix, and the coffee was almost done. She was starving and hoped he was a decent cook.

"Feel better?" He asked, finishing scrambling the last of the eggs they had and putting them on a plate for her.

"Yeah," she said quietly, her damp hair draped over her shoulders. The toaster dinged and he handed her two pieces of hot wheat toast, then grabbed a beer out of the fridge and took a drink.

"You want one? Goes well with breakfast," he smiled. She gave him a look of disgust and started eating.

"I'm joking," he said. "I opened this last night. Just don't want it to waste. I wasn't near as drunk as Michael. If you're still hungry, there's plenty of stuff in the fridge. I'll be ready to go in fifteen minutes," he said, going back upstairs. She quickly ate everything on her plate and poured herself a cup of coffee, drinking it slowly. Fitz's roommate Michael came stumbling in from his room, slightly hungover, and was surprised to see Mellie sitting at the kitchen table.

"I don't remember bringing _you_ home last night," he said, grabbing a piece of toast and leaning against the counter, facing her. The six feet between them wasn't enough; she could still smell the alcohol on his breath.

"I'm with Fitz," she said quietly.

"Makes more sense," he laughed. "Wait, you were the one at that strip club. Fitz really has no boundaries with his money."

"I figured," she said, quickly finishing her coffee and taking her cup to the sink.

"Don't take any shit off him, ok? Put him in his place if you need to," Michael warned her as she walked towards the stairs.

"Thanks," she said, going up the stairs and into Fitz's room. He was standing in front of his closet, looking for a decent shirt to go with his pressed khakis. He grabbed a pink dress shirt out and put it on, seeing Mellie go through her bag and pull out a ponytail holder, putting it around her wrist. She zipped it up and set it on the bed.

"You ready?" Fitz asked, combing through his dark brown waves. Mellie nodded and he grabbed his suitcase and led them downstairs.

"Mike, we'll be back Sunday night," Fitz yelled, not seeing his roommate anywhere in sight. He unlocked the front door and looked at what she was wearing for the first time this morning.

"You want some different clothes? What's your address?"

"I don't want to set us back any more. I can just go to the store when we get there and get some things," she said, not wanting him to know she lived in the student apartments near campus.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she said, looking down at her blue jeans and light blue t-shirt and surprised he would be seen with her like this.

"Ok," he shrugged, grabbing his bag and leading them to the car. She kept her bag by her the whole time and noticed his outfit as they drove to the airport. He was wearing khakis, brown loafers, and a pink button down, tucked in with the sleeves rolled up. His hair seemed extra curly this morning and his expensive sunglasses screamed rich boy. She knew his shiny black Ferrari was just another status symbol and attracted more attention to himself.

They rode to the airport in silence and once he got there, he drove past all the drop off points and went straight to a security gate, where he was quickly waved through. He pulled up beside a large private jet and put it in park, then handed her a pair of sunglasses just like his.

"Put these on and pull your hair back. In case someone sees you," he said.

She quickly did as she was told and got out with him, following him to the plane. A flight attendant waited for them at the bottom of the stairs and Mellie looked behind her, seeing a valet drive away in the Ferrari. Another attendant got his bag out of the car, and offered to take Mellie's, but she politely declined.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Grant," the flight attendant smiled, "and...?"

"Crystal," Fitz said, walking up the steps with Mellie on his heels.

"Ms. Crystal," she smiled, following them and shutting the door. Fitz took the first plushy seat he came to and Mellie didn't know if she should sit by him or not. She didn't know if he expected her to or if he wanted her to keep her distance.

She took a seat across the aisle from him and set her bag down by her feet, and looked out the window. She was on a private jet with the richest guy in her law school, on their way to his father's mansion in California for the weekend. She still thought she was in a dream. But she knew what she had done to get here, and for that she was still ashamed. Not so much the stripping, she needed to make money somehow. She also knew there could've been a better way to get the money, but it would've taken longer. It was the fact she didn't stand up for herself and let her boss control her. She didn't refuse and risk getting fired. She feared losing her job. She needed the money, and that's why she went with Fitz.

"You sure you don't want to put that bag away?" Fitz asked, taking his sunglasses off and setting them on the tray beside the window. "It's a pretty long flight."

"How long is it?" She asked. "I'm fine with it right here."

"It's about six, six and a half hours. May as well get comfortable. You can sit by me, if you like. Like I said, I don't bite," he said sincerely. She smiled and put her seatbelt on as they prepared for takeoff, and she closed her eyes, falling asleep as soon as they got in the air.

* * *

"Crystal," Fitz said her name softly, rubbing her arm gently as he sat beside her. She was startled as she woke, then came to and realized Fitz was just being polite, as they were about to serve a meal.

"Sorry to wake you up. They're about to serve lunch and I didn't want you to miss it," he smiled.

"Oh. Thanks," she said softly, sitting up in her chair, trying to fix her hair. He was about to get up when she stopped him.

"You can sit by me while we eat, if you like," she said. "I don't bite either," she teased, and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Good to know," he smiled as the flight attendant got their food together. A few minutes later, she brought out two plates of roasted lemon pepper chicken, grilled asparagus, and mashed potatoes. Fitz ordered a light wine and Mellie ordered one too, not wanting to be rude. She couldn't believe the money he had, to be able to live like this.

She tried pacing herself eating, as her stomach was begging for more. She was hungry, even after breakfast this morning, and thankful for the food. They quietly studied each other as they ate and she was already ready to go back to sleep and get some good rest. She didn't expect to sleep much once they got there.

She finished her food and wine quickly, and the flight attendant took their plates away and offered a dessert. Mellie declined, and Fitz followed suit, wanting to talk and get to know her better. By the time he looked at his watch and back at her, her eyes were closed with her earphones in. Her phone was in her hand and he wondered what she was listening to, but wasn't about to disturb her. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, hoping he might be able to relax too.

* * *

Fitz woke up about ten minutes before they landed to find Mellie asleep on his shoulder, and he didn't move, knowing she must have been really tired to sleep this much. He smiled and noticed a flight attendant had put a blanket over Mellie while he was asleep.

He wondered how their paths happened to cross, and how she seemed slightly familiar. He almost didn't want to know for fear they really would know each other. Then he would feel bad about this entire ordeal.

"Crystal," he whispered, rubbing her arm. "We're about to land."

"Already?" She asked sleepily, raising her head up after realizing she fell asleep on him. She figured she must have slept three or four hours, but it was the best sleep she had gotten in days.

They landed in Santa Barbara and were greeted by Jerry's valet at the airport. They got in a blacked out SUV while the valet got their bags, then drove them to Jerry's house.

Mellie was in awe as they pulled up to the gated driveway and the valet punched in the security code. There was a fountain in the middle of the yard and red rose bushes along the driveway. She looked forward and saw the three story brick house Fitz called home, and she was shocked.

"Welcome, Mr. Grant and Ms. Crystal," the valet said, parking at the front door where Jerry was waiting for them.

"There's my boy," Jerry announced with a grin as they walked up the steps with their bags. "What a beautiful woman you've brought along, Fitz. I didn't know you were bringing company. What's your name, honey?"

"Crystal," she smiled, trying to be polite. She was still skeptical of why they came to meet his dad on such short notice. She was hoping Fitz just wanted to visit home and get some sun.

"Beautiful name. Come on inside," he said, getting out of the doorway. Fitz led the way and upstairs to his room. Mellie took the entire house in: the enormous state of the art kitchen, the expensively furnished living room, the art hanging in the upstairs hallway, and last for the moment but not least, Fitz's bedroom. He opened the door to reveal his gray comforter covered bed, two antique wooden chests of drawers, and a 48-inch TV. His walls were a soft blue, and he had two windows, one on each side of his bed. She set her bag down and he shut the door behind them, quickly locking it.

"My dad is an ass, ok? So don't take any shit off him," Fitz told her, rubbing his face. "I'm used to it is all. So whatever he says, don't take it too personally. The bathroom is the only place you'll get any peace from him."

"Good to know," she said. "So what else comes with this mansion you call home?"

"His study, a dining room, a den, a downstairs bedroom, three more bedrooms up here. There's a pool out back, another fountain, four wheelers, and we have another plane down at the airport," he shrugged. "Dad likes to be flashy, if you couldn't tell," he sighed.

"You don't seem to be excited about this rich lifestyle," she said softly, sitting on the bed.

"It's just being _his_ son. He's accomplished a lot and had some downfalls, and he's a lot to try to live up to. That's all. He likes to be a pretentious asshole about everything and shove his money in everyone's face. I don't like it. There's no need to wave it around for the world to see," Fitz explained. "But anyway. I can show around the rest of the house, or we can go get you some other clothes, if you like."

"Let's look around and then we can go shopping. Get away from him at least until dinner," she smiled. "I don't think he liked me."

"He doesn't know you. Hell, I don't really know you," Fitz laughed awkwardly. "He's very picky. Like I said, don't take it personally. You ready to go?"

Mellie nodded and they headed downstairs. Fitz slipped them past his dad, who happened to be in his study. He knew Fitz would talk with him when he was ready. That's how he always did when he came home.

He showed her the pool, the fire pit, the fountains, and the four wheelers in the lush, green backyard. She was impressed by all of it, but wouldn't stay for his money. Fitz led her around through the side gate to get to the garage. He waved his foot in front of the bottom of the garage door and it opened quickly to reveal two new shiny, black sports cars.

"He told me he got them on Monday. Let's go," he smiled, unlocking one and getting in the driver's seat.

"You still don't like being rich, even with _this_ car?" She asked as she got in and he cranked it up, the roar of the engine turning into a quiet purr as he drove down the driveway and through the gates. He pulled out onto the highway and headed straight for his favorite mall.

"Ok, I like the car," he smiled, the ride smooth as he sped down the road. Mellie smiled and sat back, enjoying the ride. If she was at home right now, she would be doing homework or sleeping, getting ready for another shift tonight. But he had given her this tiny escape, even if it was only a few days long, and for that, she was thankful.

Fitz pulled up at the mall a few minutes later, escorting Mellie inside and taking his sunglasses off.

"Bloomingdales or Saks Fifth Avenue?" He asked, looking around for other high end stores. He looked over at her and saw she was admiring an outfit in a Macy's window.

"Can we go in Macy's?" She asked, and he shrugged.

"I guess so," he said. "You sure you don't want something...nicer?"

"Macy's is fine," she said, going inside and searching for the exact outfit she saw in the display window: a white pencil skirt and a sleeveless navy blue button up blouse. She found them both within fifteen minutes, along with a pair of $150 jeans and a red sundress.

"You want to come watch me try them on?" She asked Fitz, who was paying more attention to his phone than her.

"Huh? Yeah, sure," he said, following her to the dressing rooms. He waited outside until she came out in the white skirt and navy blouse, and he was impressed.

"I like that one. It looks good on you," he said, enjoying the way it accented her curves and brown curls. She smiled softly and went back in the dressing room, changing into the dark washed skinny jeans. She really liked them, but didn't feel like getting his opinion on some jeans. She changed into the sundress and walked out, showing him her final selection. He was surprised how good she looked in red; he was impressed with her taste.

"Wow. You look...amazing, Crystal. I mean it. You're really beautiful," he said with all honesty, and she couldn't believe it.

"Really? Are you sure it's not too much?"

"It's perfect. You want to look at anything else or is this it?" He asked.

"Just some shoes to match these and I'll be good," she told him, and he nodded in agreement.

She found two pairs of heels, a navy pair and a silver pair, and they made their way to the checkout counter. Mellie pulled out some cash and Fitz laid his platinum credit card down on the counter before she could say no.

"Don't sweat it," he said, and she tried to hand him the $500 for the clothes.

"Please, let me pay you back-"

" _Keep it_ ," Fitz said sternly, watching the cashier bag her things and hand him his receipt. He took the bag and led her out into the mall full of people on this Saturday morning.

"Need to go anywhere else?"

"I'm good," she told him, and they went back out to his car to go home.

Fitz opened the sunroof as they pulled into the city traffic and they both enjoyed the sun beating against their faces. They rode with the radio on for a few minutes until Mellie finally began to question his personal life.

"May I ask where your mother is?" She asked softly, and she could immediately feel his tension. He sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his lush, wavy hair.

"She was killed in a car accident eight years ago. I was 21," he said.

"I'm so sorry," she said sadly, now understanding why he hadn't made mention of his mother. She also didn't realize he was as old as he was.

"She and my dad always fought about his infidelity, but it never got extreme between them. That night, however...she caught him in their bed with a prostitute. He tried to explain, but she grabbed her car keys off the kitchen table and quickly left. She never said where she was going. She just drove. About four miles up the road, a semi-truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and ran onto her side of the road and into her car, killing her instantly. My dad called me the next day and told me I needed to come home from college, that my mom was dead. I know it's his fault. If he hadn't had that girl with him, he wouldn't have upset Mom so quickly and cause her to leave. If she hadn't left, she would still be alive today," he explained angrily. He slammed a hand against the steering wheel and sighed again.

"I'm sorry," he said, hating showing out in front of her. "It still upsets me. I'm fine."

They rode back to his house in deafening silence, and Fitz sighed when he parked the fast, shiny car in the garage.

"He should be out back at the grill, so you should have time to change. I'll make sure you get upstairs first and then I'll hold him off for a few minutes, ok?" He explained, and Mellie nodded quietly. He grabbed the Macy's bag out of the backseat and escorted her back up to his room, then went to find his father. He found him coming in from outside and going straight to the kitchen for some water.

"Where's Crystal?" Jerry asked as he saw Fitz come down the stairs. Fitz kept his hands in his pockets, hoping this conversation would be short.

"She's upstairs. Wanted to clean up a little before we ate."

"So, how is she?" Jerry questioned, going back out to the patio, and Fitz followed not to be rude.

"I've only known her one night, Dad. I met her at a strip club last night," he explained.

 _"A strip club?_ Couldn't find an online escort service classier than a strip club?"

"I was there with a friend," he sighed. "I just thought...since you want me to go through with all of this...and you gave me a deadline of this week-"

"I'll find out what I can over dinner and decide, ok? If I don't like her, I'll pick someone else out myself," Jerry said, lifting the grill lid and checking on their steaks and baked potatoes. Fitz sighed deeply, knowing if he was going to be forced to marry, he at least wanted to pick out the woman he would spend the rest of his life with.

"Is the sex good at least?" Jerry asked, and Fitz almost got angry. He had to take a step back and remind himself of who his father was.

"She was tense, but good," he smiled, but talking about sex with his dad made him uncomfortable. "I think she was just nervous."

Jerry had nothing more to say, and Fitz walked away, going back in the house to wait on Crystal to come downstairs. She came down ten minutes later, wearing the red sundress and silver heels. She had redone her makeup and fixed her hair, and Fitz thought she was beautiful.

"That dress looks great on you. You picked out a good one," he smiled, and she blushed slightly. It had been a while since she had been so generously complimented.

"Thank you for taking me to get it," she said. "When are we having dinner?" She asked, looking at her cheap watch and seeing it was almost seven.

"In ten minutes or less. Do you want to go out after to get away or just go upstairs and say we're going to bed?" He asked.

"I thought the point of this trip was for me to meet your dad?"

"Trust me, this dinner will be plenty of time. If we don't do anything fun tonight, we'll do something tomorrow. I already planned on riding four wheelers and exploring the city. I guess we'll need to get more clothes for that, won't we?" He laughed, and Mellie smiled gently. She felt like a burden, but didn't have anything to wear besides what she flew here in.

"Crystal, Fitz, dinner is ready out on the patio," Jerry said as he walked to the kitchen to get their drinks. Fitz offered his hand and she took it, starting to get nervous about the situation. She wanted to run. She didn't want to potentially be sold as someone's wife. But she needed to make it through the weekend, get her money, and leave. She didn't have the money right now to fly back home, and Fitz was still investing money into her, so she couldn't break the deal yet.

They sat down at the dining table outside and Fitz kept his hand on her thigh, trying to keep her calm.

"Go along with the whispering and caressing crap, ok? It'll get us out of here faster," he explained quietly while his father made his way outside.

He could sense her anxiety as his father sat down with them and began with the questions.

"So Crystal, where you from?" Jerry asked first, handing them both a plate with a steak on it. Fitz got her a baked potato and let his hand brush against her thigh again.

"Nashville," she said quietly, cutting up her steak.

" _Tennessee_. Wonderful state, isn't it?"

"Yes sir."

"What do your parents do?"

"My mom is a college professor and my dad is the manager of an investment firm, but headquarters suddenly shut his office down, so he's out of work right now," she said, and Fitz immediately wondered what she was doing trying earn money as a stripper when her parents seemed well off.

"Interesting. Any siblings?"

"Crystal has a sister," Fitz said, putting his arm around her, and she leaned in to kiss his cheek, thankful for his help.

"Really? What's she doing?"

"She's trying to get through nursing school right now," she explained, trying to eat her food quickly. Fitz patted her leg and she locked her hand with his.

" _Where did you go to college?"_

 _"What kind of skills do you possess?"_

 _"How can you make my son look better?"_

 _"How old are you?"_

 _"What's your exercise schedule like?"_

 _"What are your grades like?"_

 _"How will that benefit Fitz?_ "

Were just a few questions he asked Crystal, and she hated being put on the spot, but as long as he didn't blow her cover, she was fine. He settled down for a minute and ate before asking her one last question, one she had dreaded all evening.

" _So what are your plans for the future?_ "

And she almost lost it. She didn't want to lie, but didn't want to ruin this for Fitz either.

"I want to be a lawyer," she said quietly, and she could feel Fitz staring at her, trying to figure out how he knew her.

"Looks like you picked a good one, son," Jerry chuckled, and Fitz smiled, putting his arm around Crystal and giving her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled softly and prayed Fitz wouldn't ask any questions yet.

"Fitz is pretty great himself," she said, snuggling up to him, and he knew she was ready to go after twenty minutes of questions. "He's such a gentleman, making sure I'm taken care of, and he's so smart. And who could ignore that gorgeous curly hair of his? He's a triple threat," she explained, admiring him.

"You kids can't keep your hands off each other, can you? I won't keep you much longer," Jerry said, and Fitz could feel her relax as they finished their food. Jerry promised Fitz they would talk later, and Mellie thanked him for the food, then they were off. They ran up to Fitz's bedroom and he shut and locked the door behind them, glad for the moment of peace.

"Homework or the town?" He asked with a smile, looking at his watch and seeing it was only eight thirty.

"How about homework tonight and the town tomorrow night?" She asked, and he happily agreed.

"That's fine. I'm pretty tired anyway. By the way, if you don't want to sleep in here, the guest room is next door. Or if you'd rather sleep in here, I'll go sleep next door. Or we can sleep together, it doesn't matter to me. But not necessarily in that way-"

"Fitz, I get it," she laughed. "I think I'll sleep in the guest room, unless I need to stay in here for show for your dad or something."

"Just stay in here until a little later and we'll go to bed. I keep my door shut, so he wouldn't know anyway. If you don't want to do work in here, there's another office downstairs, or the couch, wherever you want. I could do a little work myself," he said. "Just make yourself at home."

"Ok," she said meekly, going over to her bag and pulling out her t-shirt from earlier today and her second and only pair of clean underwear left. Fitz took off his belt, shoes, and watch and set his watch on top of his dresser when he saw Mellie going through her bag, and he realized she didn't have any pajamas to wear either. He got out a white t-shirt of his, some boxers, and sweatpants and took them over to her.

"I didn't even think about pajamas earlier, I'm sorry. Here's some of my stuff. Also sorry for the lack of...feminine clothes. Just make a list of anything you need and we'll go get it tomorrow morning, ok? You can also wash your clothes tonight if you want," he said, and she saw the sincerity in his eyes. This wasn't for show.

"Thank you," she said quietly, accepting his clothes. She took her phone and brush to the bathroom and took a quick but hot shower and changed into his clothes. She was glad he offered them, but also felt bad for wearing them. She brushed her hair out and hung her towel up to dry. She checked her phone as she walked out, and there was no reply from her roommate.

"You enjoying yourself so far, Crystal?"

She almost dropped everything she was holding upon hearing Jerry's voice approaching her, then calmed down.

"Oh, yes sir. Fitz has been very kind and told me to make myself at home," she smiled softly as he examined her from head to toe, noticing Fitz's clothes.

"That's good. Please, do make yourself at home. If you need something, let one of us know. And if Fitz acts up, you let _me_ know, ok?" He chuckled, walking down to Fitz's room. She smiled and nodded, then heard his door shut. She didn't want to interrupt, so she went to the guest bedroom to lie down for a minute.

"Go ahead, tell me what's wrong about her," Fitz complained to his dad as he put on a blue t-shirt. "I already know you'll pick someone else for me."

"I'm just worried about her...future, is all. 'Wants' to be a lawyer? How do we know she isn't going to be dancing in these sleazy clubs with creepy men for the rest of her life? Has she even considered grad school of any kind?" Jerry asked, leaning against the dresser.

"She's in school right now, Dad. She's about to work on her homework when _you_ leave. She's a nice girl," Fitz explained.

"School for what? And how will we cover up her 'job' if she is the one for you? Did you think this one through, son?"

"No, because you are the one pressuring me into this! I've been in a rush to try and find someone, I didn't have many options, ok? Did you ever stop to think if I wanted to be run for office or not?" Fitz growled, and he knew he had pissed Jerry off.

"You act like you had a choice, son. Cyrus already told you, if you want to even have a chance of getting elected to office, you need a wife. And I know you're going to run because that's what Grants do. We take what we want and we win. We aren't losers," Jerry said angrily, and Fitz hated he ever came home.

"Well then maybe I'm a loser for not being sure about running for office just to follow in your footsteps. I just don't know about it. Maybe next time around, after I've got some experience under my belt as a lawyer and-"

"Don't you get it? There won't _be_ a next time, Fitz. It's this election or never. You only get this one chance, and you need to take it. So we'll sit down with Crystal in the morning and discuss her contract-"

" _No, we won't._ Don't bring her into your bullshit," Fitz said. "Please, just...get out."

"Son, this is my house and therefore my room. I will leave when I get ready," Jerry said, walking towards the door. He stopped mid-step when Mellie knocked on the door. He opened it and she spoke softly.

"I just came for my books," she said, and he gave Fitz a terrible look, then left. Fitz shut the door and locked it behind him, and wanted to scream, but kept his composure and laid back on the bed.

"Is everything ok?" Mellie asked, and Fitz shook his head no.

"If you would rather leave tomorrow, we can leave then. I don't want to stay around him any more than necessary," Fitz sighed.

"I liked the plans of just hanging out," she said, and his mood almost changed instantly.

"Then we'll stay here," he said half-heartedly, and took off his khakis and got under the covers, ready to sleep away this pain. She quickly gathered her books and computer and was about to go to the guest bedroom, but decided to stay with him to keep his father happy and not bothering Fitz, but also not to be alone and where his father could get to her. He was incredibly intimidating to her, and she wanted nothing to do with him.


	20. Better, Part 2

**A/N:** First, this is still a continuation of the flashback from the last chapter. As always, school comes before updating this, but I am about to be to a point where I should be able to update more often. Thank you for reading and please leave a review about what you think of the flashback J

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Fitz woke up at eight the next morning and found Mellie next to him, still asleep. Three law books, a notebook, and her now dead computer surrounded her. She had everything with her because she had been at the library before work and didn't stop at home before she clocked in. He couldn't help but admire her determination to work and go to school at the same time. He just wished she would explain some of it to him.

He got up and picked out a blue and white striped dress shirt and khaki shorts to wear today, then went into the bathroom to take a shower. He turned on the water, leaving it almost scalding hot, and stepped in. He had become numb to the physical pain, and he blamed his father. He had become numb first to the verbal abuse, but then eventually even quit fighting the physical beatings. He stopped fighting back, knowing it was a waste; his father would always be right in his mind. As he washed his body, he wondered how late she had stayed up doing homework, or what she was even working on. Why did she work herself to death? What could make school so important that she was selling her body for it?

He quickly washed his hair and rinsed off, then turned off the water and got out. He looked in the mirror and saw his shoulders were red from the burning water, but he could care less. He dried off and put on his boxer briefs and khaki shorts, then carefully shaved his face. He cleaned up in the bathroom and went back out into the bedroom, putting on his freshly pressed shirt and buttoning it up before going to wake her up.

"Crystal?" He said softly, rubbing her shoulder gently. "Crystal, it's time to wake up," he whispered. She slowly woke up, surprised to see him there. He could see the shock on her face, and the moment she remembered she had come with him.

"What time is it?" She asked worriedly, and he looked at his watch.

"Almost 8:30. Did you get some work done last night?" He asked.

"Yeah," she groaned as she stretched her arms. "Got most of a paper written."

"That's good," he said, putting on his belt and tucking his shirt in.

"So when are we going to town?" She asked, still sleepy, and he sat down on the bed beside her.

"Whenever you want," he said softly. "I'm on no time schedule today."

"I just need to turn in some work before we do. It should take me less than an hour," she said.

"That works for me. I'll do some work too," he said, grabbing his Administrative Law book out of his suitcase and she panicked, making sure her copy was nowhere to be seen. _That_ was the class they were in together. She quickly finished her case in fifteen minutes and went into the bathroom, turning on the sink. She sat in the floor and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She wasn't ready for him to figure out that they knew each other from school. She didn't stay there long, ready to go out. She went back to his room and found that he had laid her out some clean, thin sweatpants and a gray t-shirt to ride four-wheelers in.

"I figured we could ride four-wheelers, then go sightseeing," he suggested, and she relaxed again. She noticed he had changed into a t-shirt and athletic shorts while she was in the bathroom.

"Sounds great," she said, changing her clothes quickly right there in front of him. He paid her no attention, and put his tennis shoes on at the same time as she did. He led the way downstairs and to the backyard garage, and she was eager to ride with him, to just hang out.

And she knew he felt it too.

* * *

After a long day of riding four wheelers, him giving her a tour of Santa Barbara, more shopping, and a fancy dinner and drinks, they were back at his house unwinding for the night. She changed into her pajamas and got into bed, turning the TV on as a distraction.

"Why did you take this job? Besides 'needing the money'," He asked quietly, sitting on the bed and pouring himself a glass of scotch and facing her.

"Have to pay for law school somehow," she shrugged, refusing to look him in the eye. She had feared this conversation all weekend.

"Where do you go?"

"Yale."

"Really? I've never seen you around there. So do I. What classes are you taking?"

"Admin law, consent, property, and organization," she said, knowing he would quickly figure out how he knew her. His book earlier gave it away.

"I'm in administrative law, too. Oh, no," he sighed. " _That's_ how I know you. You sit in the very front of class. You wear your hair up on Thursdays. What have I done," he sighed disappointedly, hating himself. He buried his face in his hands momentarily, trying to figure out how to fix this.

"Can I at least know your real name?" He sighed, looking her in the eyes and feeling the tension between them now.

"Mellie Richardson," she said quietly, looking at the floor.

"A name to remember," he smiled. "Always answering questions in class, leading cases, acing tests."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," she said coldly, wishing he would stop trying to charm her.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I did, because you are incredibly smart and everyone will know your name one day. I wasn't trying to flirt."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before she found the courage to ask why he really brought her here.

"So why did you bring me all the way out to California to meet your father less than twenty-four hours after we met?" She asked, and he set his drink down.

"I finish school this semester. I'm taking the boards and my dad is hooking me up with a law firm focused on helping veterans get the healthcare they deserve. Next year, he wants me to run for governor of California. He says I'll get it. 'Who wouldn't want to elect a charming and handsome retired Navy pilot, lawyer, and all around great guy who is planning to start a family with his wife?' He tells me," Fitz sighs.

"He wants me to be _your wife?_ " She asked in disbelief. This really _was_ a business deal gone wrong.

"He does. That doesn't mean this is what _I_ want. I don't really get a say in the matter," he said, ashamed of his controlling father. "Dad knows what's best," he sighed. "I would never make you do this."

"What about Thursday night?" She whispered.

"That was all in pleasure and fun. Nothing long term."

"We can...at least _try_ the dating thing, if you'd like," she said. "Not in a business sense, not for future plans. Just to date."

"I'd like that. Honestly, I would," he said. "Nothing forced, nothing uncomfortable. We'll make it as natural as possible."

"Sounds good," she smiled. "Is buying out strippers or prostitutes a regular thing for you?"

"No. You're the first. I apologize for all of this. I just...I panicked. I didn't want to seem like a creep if I talked to you afterwards, but I guess this is way creepier. I'm so sorry."

"That's good to know. Thank you for your apology."

"I'm sorry I made things weird between us. I really am. I hate my father-"

"Fitz. Stop apologizing. It's time for bed," she said, lying down and closing her eyes. She needed quiet to process this, and she hoped he would shut up and sleep now. He was shocked, quietly getting into bed, hoping he could sleep now.

* * *

Mellie woke up at 9 am the next morning to find a check on her bedside table for $15,000, signed by Fitz. She knew it was for this weekend, but that much was unnecessary.

"Fitz, what is this for?" She asked sleepily, and he came out of the bathroom in his jeans and without a shirt.

"For this weekend. And I don't want you to have to do this kind of work for your tuition anymore," Fitz said. "How much do you need?"

"It's not just my tuition, Fitz. It's to keep a roof over my head and to stay alive," she said, and he sighed.

"I asked how much do you need," he sighed, leaning over the dresser and writing out another check to her.

"I'm not letting you pay for my tuition," she said.

"Then use it for whatever you want. Food, bills, savings, a new car, whatever you want," he said, tearing the check off his checkbook and going over to her. "Don't give it back, because I won't take it. Just keep it, please," he pleaded, putting the check into her hands.

She looked him in the eyes and took the check, watching him as he walked out of his room and down the stairs. She looked down and the folded check in her hands and opened it, seeing he had written it to her for another $15,000. She knew he had money to spend, but didn't know he just gave it away. She wasn't going to fight with him about it, and started packing her things.

* * *

Fitz and Mellie boarded their flight back to New Haven around 1 pm that afternoon after saying their goodbyes to Jerry. He now seemed happier than before, knowing who she really was and that she might actually make a good wife for Fitz.

She sat down in the first row beside Fitz, both of them dressed in new outfits they got this weekend. He was wearing khaki shorts, white loafers, and a baby blue dress shirt, while she wore a deep pink sundress and white sandals to match. Neither said anything to the other, just ready to get up in the air and away from their troubles. Mellie buckled her seatbelt and turned off her phone, glad to be away from it for the next six hours.

As soon as they got in the air, she pulled out her property law book and started reading. Fitz got the flight attendant to fix them some drinks and handed one to Mellie, who declined.

"I don't feel like drinking," she said meekly, "but thanks."

"You ok?" He asked. He knew she still had homework to do, but to jump into it so quickly seemed strange.

"This weekend has just exhausted me, Fitz. It didn't seem like much, but it was a lot for me. This rich lifestyle is new for me. I'm not used to heavy drinking and spending hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, every weekend. I'm just trying to recover," she said.

"Oh, ok," he said, not realizing they had done much at all. He didn't think they had done anything, really. "Did you have a good time, though?"

"It wasn't bad. Once I get past the fact of being sold to a stranger, put on a plane across the country, being told I'm going to marry said stranger and be paid for it every week, given $30,000 to pay for the weekend, my tuition, and _my virginity_ , I had a decent time," she said, shutting him out. Those words cut him deep, and he didn't know how to respond. There was no denying everything she said was true.

"Mellie-"

"I'm sorry. I know we're trying this relationship thing and I'm still getting paid. I just... _don't_. Go put the money in a savings account. I don't want to see it right now. No more money. No more prostitution. Let's just be us," she explained.

"Ok," he said, and she could feel the sincerity and honesty in his voice. He left her alone to read, and he was left with his thoughts.

' _No more prostitution_.' That was all he could hear in his mind, over and over again. He felt like a terrible person. He didn't truly realize what he had done could be considered prostitution until that moment. He didn't know what Mellie was really feeling now. He could've, even might've, ruined her whole life in a matter of a few days, but her face didn't show it if so.

He hoped she would forgive him. He really did like her.

* * *

The next weekend, Fitz texted Mellie on Friday night around six, asking if she wanted to hang out around nine. He didn't get an answer right away, but didn't think anything of it; she didn't keep her phone glued to her.

But by the time eleven came around and she hadn't answered, Fitz wondered what she was doing to not answer for so long. He put on his shoes and grabbed the keys to his sports car, going to see if she was at her apartment. He pulled up in her driveway ten minutes later only to find her car not there, and he quickly backed out, going to the next place he figured she might be.

He made his way across town, the streets quiet, to the very edge of town where the party scene was. He pulled around back of the strip club, scanning the parking lot for her car. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel when he saw her car parked by the back door. He didn't understand why she went back to this disgusting place when he gave her money. Why did she want to subject herself to undressing for sleazy men for money? She could get a respectable job now.

He drove back to his house and went up to his room, still waiting for her to text him when she got off. He took a long shower, then did some homework until he heard back from her at two a.m.

"I would've loved to. Sorry, I got caught up doing homework and fell asleep."

He sighed, not wanting to call her out, but wanting to ask her about it.

"What about tomorrow night?"

"A new case to review."

"Sunday?"

"Can't," she sent back nervously. She didn't want him to know she hadn't quit her job yet. She was afraid he would be upset since he had given her so much money that she could pay her tuition with. She didn't want to see him angry.

"Then clear your schedule for Monday night, because I'm taking you out," he texted back, not believing this. "6 pm."

"What if I can't cancel my plans?" She asked.

He called her, not wanting this conversation to happen over text.

"When will I be able to see you, Mellie?" He asked, and she heard the slight anger in his voice.

"I'll call you when I'm not busy, ok? I'm sorry, I'm trying to catch up from last weekend's adventure."

"Mellie. Please talk to me," he begged.

"Fitz, I will let you-"

"Let me know when you get home, please," he said. "So I know you're safe."

"You don't need to be worried about me," she sighed.

"I need to be worried about anything my dad is pay-"

He stopped himself. He felt like the worst person on this earth right then.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I really am concerned about you. I would like to talk to you when you get home. Nothing specific, I just want to hang out," he explained. "Honestly."

"I will let you know when I get home and if you can come over.

She hung up and Fitz groaned, hating she was doing this to him. He just wanted to look out for her.


	21. Better, Part 3

**A/N:** This is the final piece of the flashback, so I hope you have enjoyed it. I will also be updating again soon to keep the story going. Thanks for reading and feel free to leave a review.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Mellie waited at her apartment door for Fitz at 5:55 Monday night, dressed in jeans, tennis shoes, and a pink sweatshirt. All he told her was to dress very comfortable, and she wondered what he had up his sleeve.

He pulled up in his roaring black sports car moments later, pulling up in her driveway, getting out to greet her. He was dressed in his best skinny jeans, shiny new black boots, and white v-neck t-shirt as he gave her a hug and the smile of a bad boy at heart.

"You ready to go?" He asked, and she nodded softly, following him to the car.

"How was your weekend?" He asked as he put on some music and backed out of the drive.

"It was good. I got most of my work done," she said, also thinking about the $3,500 she made in three nights alone. She wanted to buy herself something nice, but also wanted to save her money.

"That's good to hear," he said, wishing he had gotten to spend some time with her instead. He hadn't stopped thinking about her since they got back, and he couldn't wait to be with her again.

They talked all the way to the helipad next to the airport, where Fitz parked his car and handed the keys to the man at the security gate. He and Mellie got out, going to greet the man inside the office.

"Fitzgerald, how are you this evening?" The man asked, shaking his hand. Fitz smiled, introducing Mellie to him.

"She must be special if you're taking her out like this already," the office manager joked. "You're all ready to go in number three, just follow the ATC signals for takeoff. Have a good flight," he said, and Fitz led Mellie to the third helicopter, entering in his passcode on the door and opening the door for her.

"Wait, you're the one flying this? You know how to fly a helicopter?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I do," he said, pulling out his wallet to show her his license. "Do you trust me enough to fly to New York with me for a few hours?"

"Ok," she said, still not sure, but wanting to go with him and to New York. He helped her into the helicopter and got in behind her, shutting the door. He handed her a pair of headphones and put his on, radioing the traffic tower, making sure he was clear to take off as he turned the helicopter on.

"You sure you're good?" He asked her, and she nodded yes. He extended his hand and she placed hers in his, reassured by his squeeze that they would be ok. The roaring of the spinning blades quickly drowned out her thoughts, and they took off. Mellie was surprised he knew how to fly a helicopter, and wondered what else he knew he how to do. She just enjoyed the ride, and was glad to be with him again, despite their last weekend together. She had tried to push the sex and money to the back of her mind, and just enjoy him in the moment. He really did seem to care for her, and she hoped it was real.

She couldn't take it if it wasn't.

* * *

She woke up in his apartment the next morning, in his bed, fully clothed, wondering where he was. She saw her purse on the floor, her phone next to it, and got out of bed, going downstairs. She found him asleep on the living room couch, and she relaxed. She slowly began to remember the events of the night. They flew to New York, wandered around Times Square, did a little shopping, and walked through Central Park, then came back home. They got back around midnight, and she vaguely remembered him talking her into staying with him for the night. She smiled, having enjoyed the time with him, then panicked, remembering it was a Tuesday. She ran upstairs and looked at her phone, seeing it was now 8:47 a.m. She had a class at nine, and he missed his class at eight. She gathered her purse and slipped on her shoes, then ran back downstairs, waking him up. She couldn't believe she had agreed to going to New York on a weeknight.

"Fitz, wake up," she said hurriedly, shaking his arm. He groaned and opened his eyes, exhausted.

"What is it?" He shot back, sitting up, running his hands through his wavy brown hair.

"We overslept," she said. "It's almost nine. You missed class, and I'm about to miss mine."

"There's no way we could make it to campus in time. Just relax and we'll have breakfast, ok?" Fitz said softly, his words reminding her to not stress out so often. He still saw the worry in her eyes and he stood up, taking her hands into his and looked into her eyes.

"Mellie. It's one class. You will be fine. It's a one-time thing. We'll eat and I'll take you home," he assured her, and she nodded, hugging him. His warm body felt so secure to her, so connected. He couldn't believe how cold she was right now, so he hugged her longer.

He felt the connection. He just wasn't sure she did, too.

* * *

A month and six dates later, Fitz found himself making out with Mellie in his apartment near campus after their seventh date. She had moved in with him two weeks after they got back from California, only because his dad "suggested" it. She had also quit her job at the strip club and was searching for a job on campus. But tonight felt different than all the other dates; it felt peaceful. They had gone to a local park and had a picnic, then walked around town. He learned even the simplest things made her happy. They just enjoyed each other, and worried about nothing else.

He backed her up to his bedroom wall, his hands around her waist as they kissed each other deeply. He felt it, something more than he expected to feel. A spark, a connection between them. One of her hands rested on the back of his neck while the other played in his brown curls. Her tongue fought his and he was about to make his next move when she pulled away for a minute.

"Fitz..." She whispered, her breath hot on his skin, and he looked deep into her eyes, already knowing her question.

"We don't have to have sex if you don't want to. That was not my original intention," he explained sincerely. "It's your choice. I want it to mean something for you this time."

"Let's just go slow, ok?" She told him, wanting this to be more than just sex for them. She stared into his gorgeous gray eyes and he reached for his jacket on the bed. He unzipped the side pocket and pulled out some condoms, setting them on his cluttered nightstand.

"They're not out of date or anything. Bought them at the store ten minutes before I picked you up. I just want you to be comfortable, ok?" He said.

"Ok," she said, kissing him again as she unbuttoned his blue and gray plaid shirt. He helped get it off and took his belt off quickly, loving the way her hands felt as she explored his bare torso. She was always stunned by his physique, but tried to not let it get to her.

He pulled his pants off as she took her violet t-shirt off, revealing her deep red bra to him. He watched carefully as she removed her jeans and let them fall to the floor. They studied each other's almost bare bodies for a good twenty seconds before he made another move.

He reached to take her bra off when she stopped him. He let his hands rest on her waist as hers laid across his warm shoulders.

"I...think this is where we should stop tonight," she said, not ready to have sex with him again yet. He didn't fully understand, given they had sex the night they met, but he also knew it was different now that they were dating. It would actually mean something for both of them this time, and he knew she probably wasn't ready for it yet. He didn't blame her at all. He knew everyone was comfortable at different times, and he was just happy to be steadily dating someone.

"Ok," he said, asking no questions. "What now?"

"Let's just go to sleep," she said. "I'm exhausted."

Fitz nodded as she pulled down his covers and went to brush her teeth and take her makeup off before bed. He had already gotten her a spare toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo that smelled like peaches, expensive soap, and a nice fluffy bathrobe for her. He hoped she liked everything he had picked out; he was still learning her tastes and wanted to spoil her.

When she came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, he couldn't believe it. He had never seen her without makeup, and he thought she was even more beautiful without it. She took off her bra and put on a comfortable t-shirt to sleep in.

"Thank you for everything," she said as she got into bed.

"You're welcome, Mellie," he said with a smile, kissing her on the cheek. "You know, I think you're even more beautiful without makeup. You should go natural more often."

"Well thank you," she blushed slightly. "I would do it more often, but I feel like women in law and...for my job, I have to meet this standard society has set for beauty to be able to succeed," she sighed.

"Societal norms are overrated," he commented, going into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He did so quickly, ready to get back to bed. He laid beside her and watched intently as she took her earrings and necklace off.

"Can I tell you something?" He said in a slightly serious tone, and she became concerned.

"Sure," she said nervously, wondering what he could possibly need to ask.

"On the plane, when you said you were a virgin the night we had sex...I didn't know. I really am sorry about that. I wish it could've meant more to you, to be with someone you really cared about."

She said nothing for a second, knowing this would come up one day. She was ashamed to admit she was a virgin then.

"You were only my fourth time. Most people assume because of my last name, I'm just the rich boy sleeping around with whoever I want. I don't. I'm not my father. I _do_ have morals," he explained.

"I'm glad you do," she said sincerely. "I respect you for that."

They said nothing for what felt like an eternity, but was only a few minutes. During that time, Mellie was searching for the courage to ask about Jerry.

"So what does your dad think about us dating? I mean, he obviously approves since he's paying me, but does he _approve_?" She asked, wanting to know the truth. She knew for getting paid $1,250 a week, she was going to put up with whatever necessary.

"He's eating this up right now, honestly. He wasn't sure about it at first, but now he's all for it. I could call him right now and ask for $20,000 for an engagement ring and he would give it to me. It's almost hilarious," Fitz explained, and Mellie wondered if he was serious since he mentioned engagement.

"What do _you_ think about us?"

"That I don't want to rush a single thing. I'm not worried about my father. I am worried about you and me and right now. Nothing about the future," he said, putting his arm around her. "No elections, no weddings, nothing."

Her smile showed the trust she put in him and he kissed her softly, and to his surprise, she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer. Their bodies were separate, but their hearts felt connected. She felt like she was in a good place, like she was worth something to someone again.

She just had no idea what the future held. She had no idea how different things would be.


	22. A Loss for Words

**A/N:** This chapter picks up basically where the one before the flashback left off. Jake is realizing the toll cancer is taking on him, and how he and Mellie are alike in more ways than he thought. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Jake was waiting to start his radiation Monday afternoon and waiting to hear from Valerie about her vision. He was ten minutes behind schedule due to overscheduling, but he didn't mind too much. He was quickly adjusting to long treatments and waiting for hours and being stuck with needles often. The nurse got his IV started and he almost jumped out of his skin when his phone rang, specifically, Valerie's ringtone.

"Hello?" He answered hurriedly, almost in a panic. The nurse smiled as she walked out of the room, promising to check on him soon. He smiled and quietly thanked her.

"Hey Dad," she said happily, comforted by his voice.

"Hey baby. What did the eye surgeon say?"

"He said my bad eye is only working at about 15%. I can only see light with it. There was only a small chance surgery would work, so I decided against it. He told me my good eye was at 85%, but it was affected by the explosion. He said I might not ever see the effects, but if they would happen, they would happen gradually. Said I could be legally blind in both eyes in my lifetime, but it was nothing to worry about yet," she explained.

"That's good to hear," Jake said with relief. "How are you feeling about it?"

"I'm ok. I knew my bad eye was pretty bad already, so it wasn't a surprise. I can still see with the other eye, so I'm ok. Now I just want to get this arm and shoulder strong again," she said confidently.

"When do you meet with the audiologist?"

"Friday. That's when he'll test my hearing again and decide if a cochlear implant is the way to go or not. But my hearing aid hasn't worked well for me in a week or two. A nurse checked it and said it's working fine, so I know my hearing has declined. If he says a cochlear implant will help, I'll get it done in D.C. If not, I won't. The plan is still to come home Tuesday."

"I already got my treatment for that day rescheduled and Hollis is letting us use his plane. I can't wait to have you back here," he said happily. "I know it's not ideal for you to be home, but it must have been ideal in God's plan for you."

"Yeah. I'm ready to be back with you," she said softly. "For good."

Jake's heart melted upon hearing those words. He didn't know how long "for good" meant. It could have meant one day or a thousand days, until she went to school or for the rest of her life. He didn't care. He just wanted her home with him and was glad she wanted to be home. He leaned back and relaxed, knowing they would soon be together again.

* * *

Mellie sat beside Jake during his seventh chemo treatment and was glad he finally started letting her come along. She had been coming to the ones she could since the third treatment and was glad she did, even if he wasn't. She could get him water and a blanket, and drive him there and home. They sat in a cold little room with a glass wall against the hallway. It had a large recliner, a plastic chair, and a couch in it, along with a TV and some cabinets with blankets and medicine in it. Jake never cared much to watch the TV, he usually brought a book to read. Mellie would bring something from work to work on or a book, or just talk to him when he was awake.

"Karen went to meet some old friends from high school for lunch," Mellie said casually, with her brown rimmed glasses on and her hair pulled up. Jake set his magazine down and looked at her with concern as he pulled his blanket up to his chest.

"She's trying to jump back in like nothing happened, isn't she?" He asked, feeling colder. He looked paler and his eyes were tired, but he was glad to be with her. His tumor was still hurting him, and they had started some pain medicine, but it hadn't helped much. She had watched him go downhill quickly in the two weeks since his diagnosis, and she felt helpless.

"She is. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, honestly. I think she's trying to bury the memories and pain. She won't go to a therapist. The only doctor I got her to go to was the gynecologist to make sure she didn't have any STDs. I'm just glad she's back here with us and not roaming around," Mellie sighed.

"Where was she last?" He asked.

"Last she said she had gone back to Santa Barbara for a week, then one of her friends told us she had run off with some others to San Francisco. Another said Los Angeles. Another said Vegas. She got away with $30,000 in her savings account. We changed our account numbers so she couldn't steal Fitz's money. He had his dad's account and our shared one. Our lawyers split it during the divorce according to our activity. So I don't know exactly where she was right before she called me. I didn't bother having the number tracked," she sighed, just thankful she had both of her children together again.

"I'm sorry she ever left," Jake said solemnly. "I...I don't know what I would do if Val left."

"I just feel like I've lost both of my oldest, despite her being back...and I still have one to raise," she said. "But I can't complain."

"You sure you don't want a few more kids?" He teased, nudging her arm.

" _One hundred_ percent sure," she said with a grin. "I'm too old to have kids now. I can't be raising more kids."

"Nah. You totally could have a few more. You've done a great job with Teddy, what would one more hurt?" he smiled.

"Jake, I am forty-five years old. I can't have any more kids. Three was enough for me," she said. "And none of them were planned," she began to laugh.

"You're kidding," Jake laughed with her. "I figured you'd be the type to start a family right away."

"Not me," she laughed. "That's all Fitz. About four months after we got married, he would vaguely suggest having kids. He would mention more funding for schools and better healthcare 'for the children', he would say," she sighed. "I knew what he was getting at, but I was scared. I was young. We tried a few times, but I knew what I was in for when I overheard him and his father talking. Big Jerry told him to buckle down, stand his ground, get in good with the people. He said we needed to work more on acting like a married couple now that we were getting out of the honeymoon phase. He thought a child would do it, I guess. He stood there and told Fitz to 'lock me up in our bedroom and to not come out until he fucked me so hard I couldn't stand up straight and was sure I was pregnant'," she said quietly, ashamed of her father in law.

"Fitz hinted at sex all evening, and tried his best that night to get me in bed. Normally I wouldn't mind, but he could tell something was up with me. I told him what I heard, and he assured me Jerry didn't mean anything by it. 'I would never force you to do anything, Mels. I love you too much for that. If you really don't want to have kids now, we won't try,' he said. But I told him I was happy if he was, and I kept him going. We hadn't been using protection for the past two weeks, and we didn't that night either – I figured what would once more hurt? I wasn't thrilled about the idea of kids just yet, but I didn't want to disappoint him. He treated me like a queen for the next few weeks, and we tried so hard. He waited on me hand and foot, more so than normal. He got me whatever I needed, and even brought me little gifts on occasion. A month later, Big Jerry got his wish. I was pregnant with our first child. I just..." She shuddered and tried to block that memory out. "I didn't know until right before Jerry died that he was Fitz's child. The rape happened three weeks before I found out I was pregnant, and I lived in fear for sixteen years that Jerry was Fitz's brother and not his son. I finally had a paternity test done and could breathe again. Of course, Fitz didn't care, because he had always treated Jerry as his son and knew nothing about the rape yet. That was the same time he found out about it, though."

"Karen was our accident baby a little over a year later. We had been to the Governor's Ball and had a little too much to drink. A lot to drink, actually. We were both pretty wasted and Fitz was a charmer, all the time. He always knew how to work his magic with the ladies, even when I was drunk. My body had been out of whack for a little while with all that had been going on, we were so busy, and three months later we were surprised to learn I was pregnant with Karen. We were happy and thought two was it," she said.

"I know you remember the shock in Georgia on the presidential campaign trail. That wasn't just for show, like Fitz thought. I lied to him, and I hate myself today for it," Mellie said, her heart hurting. "What kind of parent and wife was I to not tell him about his own child's death?"

Jake had no idea what to say or how she was even feeling. He could only imagine her pain and grief, and he just continued to listen.

"We had celebrated too much and somehow he wanted to have sex with me seven weeks earlier. We did, and I ended up pregnant. I _knew_ better than to not use protection. I was afraid. I didn't know if we could handle or afford another child on our own then. Fitz was well off, but a good bit of that was still his father's money. I knew he would want to give up the race if he knew we were having a third child. I decided to stall as long as possible, and I would tell him at twelve weeks. I wasn't going to let him give this up; I didn't let him give up the gubernatorial race either. I hadn't even had the chance to go to a doctor yet. Three days before we got to Georgia, I hadn't felt the best and was at five weeks, by my count. I cancelled my plans for the day and figured it would get better, but it didn't. I laid in my bunk on the bus all day and once I started bleeding and cramping, I knew what was happening. I didn't let anyone know. I couldn't go to the ER; Fitz couldn't know yet, neither could the press. I cancelled the next day's events and then Fitz got concerned. I insisted it was just a stomach virus and I would be fine the next day. By the end of the day, I knew I had to accept that I had miscarried and I cried myself to sleep that night on the bus. It was almost over, in the worst place it could've occurred; a campaign bus somewhere in the middle of Georgia, not even at home. He heard my cries and got into my bunk with me, closing the curtain behind him. He asked what was wrong, but I just told him it was because I was exhausted, and he believed me. So I didn't lie to America. Just to Fitz," she sighed, feeling bad for doing it and wondering what that child would've been like. "And for that I feel terrible. But I'm getting ahead of myself."

"My first miscarriage happened when Jerry was almost five and Karen had just turned three. We wanted more kids for sure, but I didn't know how soon Fitz would be ready. I loved being a mother, and I was looking forward to a third child at the time. Once we found out I was pregnant, we were ecstatic," she smiled, remembering the look on Fitz's face when she told him.

"He was so happy, so excited to tell the people of California we were soon going to be a family of five. We threw a little party with our closest friends after three months. At five months, we had family pictures taken. I was at peace for the first time in a long time. I did everything I was supposed to do; we were extra careful since I was high risk. Fitz always took good care of me when I was pregnant, even after the rape. He went to doctor's appointments with me, always took care of me when my emotions were out of whack and I was a mess. He put up with me and we took pictures and he kept me out of the spotlight and news when I didn't have to be. He was wonderful. But at six months when we went to the doctor...we found out the baby had serious birth defects and had died. I cried for days. I didn't know it was possible to cry that much. Fitz moped around the house; I've never seen him that upset. He shut everyone but me out. We were devastated. The doctor told us it was only a matter of time now before I delivered the baby, and it could be a matter of days or I could carry him to term. So we waited for a week, and we still couldn't bring ourselves to address the state. We had our PR team put out another statement. We weren't ready to face anyone. The lieutenant governor handled things for Fitz for a little while. He slowly went back to work, and I was ordered by the doctor and Fitz both to do nothing. We went to a few social events he couldn't get out of, but everyone felt our tension and sadness. Here I was, still pregnant, but I knew my child was dead. It was like all eyes were on us constantly. It was all anyone could focus on, which sent us both into depression. After another two weeks with no natural induction, I went in and had the doctor induce me. I couldn't handle it anymore. I cried those four hours of labor. It was our longest birth, and we wouldn't even get to know what our son was like. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop when he was born. We named him Benjamin, and we took pictures with him before the nurses took him away. I was in the hospital for three more days, being pumped full of IV fluids and having three blood transfusions. Fitz said I had lost a lot of blood, but it was all a terrible blur to me. I had never felt so physically and emotionally ill. Fitz was my rock, and I was his," she cried, wiping away her tears. Jake held her hand and wiped her eyes, kissing her forehead.

"Baby, I'm here," he whispered, stroking her hair. He had never seen her so broken. He made room for her to sit next to him and she nestled next to him. "It's ok," he put his arm around her and tried to comfort her.

"Fast forward through the campaign trail and Georgia, and once the sex tape came out when Fitz was elected, we needed to make sure no one knew it was him and Olivia. Olivia's plan was I get pregnant to confirm it was me; she thought she knew how to solve everything. So we did. It wasn't easy, and we were concerned about my age and my previous miscarriage. I was more concerned because I knew it was two instead of one. Fitz and I weren't in a good place anymore. We knew then we couldn't be the parents together that we wanted to be for Teddy. But I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world," she smiled. "He has been a blessing to the Grant family, what's left of us. I'm sorry, it seems all I do is reflect on my life and complain," she sighed. "It's had its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it."

"It's fine, I understand. You need to vent sometimes. I got a call at seven a.m. one morning from the local hospital. They told me I needed to come pick up my daughter. I was floored; I didn't have a daughter. They explained a woman just had a baby and said for her to try contacting me or put it up for adoption. She told them I was the father. My heart sank, remembering the mission almost a year earlier. I rushed down there, having blood tests done to confirm she was mine, and of course, she was. They said the lady had left without naming her. I named her Valerie after my grandmother, got her birth certificate, had our picture taken, and went home with her. Then I realized I knew nothing about taking care of babies. I had no diapers, no formula, no crib, no clothes, nothing. So I called my mother, explaining the situation, and she helped me get what I needed and take care of Val," he smiled. "I never meant anything bad by sending her to the best boarding schools. I did it to better her, to give her the best I could. I just hope she realizes that."

"She does," Mellie smiled. "When is she coming here?"

"It'll be Tuesday when she comes home. I'm flying down there so I can ride back with her."

"Well, I can send security if you want," Mellie said. "I know you'll be glad when she's here with you. I'll be glad when she's here."

"I know she wants to go back to training. It was her life. I'm just afraid she won't ever get to go back. That she'll be on disability for life. I'll take care of her, that's not an issue. She has too much of her life ahead of her to be dealing with this," he says.

"You two will figure it out together, I know you will. Things will settle down and you'll figure out what normal is. Just worry about that when the time comes," she told him as he yawned. "Go on and take a nap. I'll wake you up when you're almost done."

"So bossy," he teased with a smile, and she couldn't help but laugh. "Mels?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for taking care of me," he said weakly, adjusting his gray beanie. "I feel awful all the time. This chemo and radiation is making me sicker than I could ever imagine. I can't work. My body is fighting against me. And honestly? This has me terrified. I need to stay here for my baby girl and you," he sighed.

"Jake, I don't mind taking care of you," she said. "Thank you for letting me. You know, if you want to stay at my house, you're welcome to. So is Valerie. We have the room. I know you're sick. Your immune system is weak. It's natural for you to be down and out for a while. All this treatment is helping you the best it can. You're at one of the best hospitals in the country. And I know these doctors are doing the best they can to help you live a long, healthy life. So please don't worry yet," she says.

"I'm afraid I'll have to retire from the force," he said, a tear streaming down his face. "I'll have to stop doing what I love. I can't do my recruiting job now either. My boss says it'll be there for me when I'm better, but I don't know. He suggested I file for short term disability and only come in if I feel like it."

"I think you should listen to him," Mellie said. "I know it's hard to accept. Look at where you are, Jake. You are sitting here in this hospital with chemotherapy being pumped into your body and trying to stay well with a barely working immune system. You cannot work."

"I have never given up on something I was told I couldn't do. That's why I don't want to give up on work yet. I can get my mind in the right place. My body is a different story, however," he said.

"I know you'll figure it out and make the best choice," she said, putting her arm around him.

He knew she was right.


	23. Want To Be Free

**A/N:** Jake and Valerie must face a harsh reality that has haunted them both in recent years. Enjoy and thanks for reading.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Jake met Valerie at the hospital, where she was gathering the last of her things. Cameron had left two days earlier, so she didn't really have any big goodbyes to say. She wasn't wearing the jeans or any of the t-shirts Jake and Mellie had chosen and bought for her, to his surprise. She was wearing the same physical training sweatpants she was wearing the day of the accident, and a white t-shirt of Jake's he had brought for her a while back. He quickly learned that day she could not be bought in any way.

"How's your arm and shoulder feel today?" Jake asked, sitting down while they waited on a nurse to sign off her discharge papers.

"Shaky. I'm ready to get back into the gym and work on it," she said, standing beside him, anxious to leave.

"You ready to be home?" He asked with a smile, and she nodded.

"Yeah," she said happily. She had never lived there longer than a few months at a time, usually during summers between boarding school years, so he wondered how well she would really like it. The nurse came in a few minutes later and signed off on her papers, and reminded her of her surgery to get her cochlear implant the next Monday. Valerie thanked her for the incredible treatment and care she received here, and they went on their way. Jake carried her bag and they found a taxi waiting for them in front of the hospital, courtesy of Hollis.

She stared out the window the entire way to the airport, taking in the outside world she had missed for so long. She was only in the hospital for a month or so, but training had kept her from the rush of the city also. Jake didn't disturb her; he only watched her examine every detail and wondered what she was thinking. Wondered if she would be happy living with him full time now.

They made it to the airport fifteen minutes later, pulling into the parking lot for private flights. Jake got out of the car first, unloading their bags, then helped her out and tipped the driver. He wondered if Hollis had come here on business or sent the plane back just for them, but his question was quickly answered when the shuttle driver showed up.

"Are you Mr. Ballard?" The man in uniform asked as he loaded their bags on the shuttle, and Jake nodded.

"Yes sir," he said, pulling out his driver's license and handing it to him.

"Mr. Doyle has named you as the lead passenger today. Who all is flying with you today?"

"Just my daughter," he said happily, looking over at her and getting a smile in return.

"Very well," he said, getting back into the driver's seat and handing Jake his ID back. They both sat in the backseat of the shuttle cart, enjoying the ride to the enormous plane in front of them. It was one of Hollis's smaller planes, but it was still huge for two people. They saw their captain and flight attendants waiting for them beside the plane, and Jake could tell Valerie was eager to get on and see the inside. Their driver unloaded their bags and handed them to a flight attendant, despite Jake offering to get them.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Ballard and Miss Ballard," the captain greeted them. "My name is George Varnell. Are you the only two passengers today?"

"Yes sir," Jake said,

"May I see your identification, please?" He asked, and Valerie and Jake handed him their driver's licenses. He briefly looked over them, then gave them back.

"Let's get on back to D.C., shall we?" The captain said happily, leading them up the stairs and into the plane.

Jake never thought this day would come. He was just thankful to have Valerie alive after the accident.

* * *

Jake unlocked his front door around four one Wednesday afternoon, having been to the grocery store on the way home from the office. He planned on making a nice dinner for him and Valerie that night and wanted to cheer her up. He noticed she didn't seem herself lately, and wondered if she was depressed. He had been trying to work what little he could when he felt halfway decent and on a day he didn't have treatment, but his paychecks weren't even worth going in now. He had adjusted to having her home for two weeks, and wouldn't have it any other way. He enjoyed her company and was glad they were finally together for a while, even though it was at the expense of her future as a Marine. That was the one part that still bothered him.

"Hey Val, I'm home," he yelled, walking into the kitchen and seeing Will and Francis sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hey guys, what are y'all doing here?" He asked, both surprised and confused. He didn't see the SUV out front. He set the bags down by the fridge and checked his phone, seeing neither Valerie nor Mellie let him know what was going on.

"Mellie's talking to Valerie. She called her about fifteen minutes ago and asked if she would come over," Will said.

Jake put up the cold groceries and was trying to piece this together; why wouldn't she just talk to him? He walked out of the kitchen towards her room, where he ran into Mellie.

"Jake, I'm glad you're back-"

"Mellie, what's going on? Is she ok? Why didn't she talk to me?" He asked worriedly, looking towards her bedroom door.

"She just wanted to talk woman to woman," Mellie explained, rubbing his arm gently. "She meant nothing personal by it. I'll tell you more later, ok?"

Jake nodded and she gave him a kiss on the cheek, then went back to Valerie's room. She was still sitting on the bed, waiting for Mellie to come back.

"What did he say?" She asked nervously.

"I just told him that you wanted to talk woman to woman, and he was ok with it," Mellie explained.

"That's a surprise," Valerie said, twisting a black hair tie around her fingers. "He's been sheltering me too much since I got home."

"How so?"

"He's always trying to baby me, like I can't do anything for myself. He's always helping me around the house, not letting me do much."

"I think he's just concerned about you. You will always be his little girl, no matter how old you get. He wants to protect you from all the bad things in this world. It's natural instinct," she explained.

"He couldn't protect me from _this_ happening, could he? I look horrible. _Take a good look at me, Mellie_. My face was blown off. I'm blind in one eye. I'm deaf in one ear without my cochlear implant. I can't always feel the right side of my face. Only one half of my face looks normal. The other looks like I'm some sort of monster. I try every day to go do target practice, but I can't do it. On the days I've actually gotten there, all I can do is lie down and grip the rifle as well as I can, but I can never actually pull the trigger. I'm afraid. But if it came down to holding a gun to my head and having to pull the trigger, having to take that chance...I would do it," Valerie said, a tear streaming down her face.

"What if I went with you? You watch me do it first. Would you try it then?" Mellie asked.

Valerie shook her head no. "That rifle had been used and operated just fine every day until that day. It was two years old and never had a problem. Then it just blows up. So why should I live? My plans were destroyed. I lost a lot of my Marine friends. I don't have the money to go to college. I'm considered disabled, so who would hire me? I would be lucky to get hired. I can't be a Marine, I can barely use my right arm because of my shoulder. My friends won't talk to me anymore. So what am I supposed to do? Suffer the rest of my life? Why shouldn't I just give up?" She asked angrily, tired of being like this. She wanted to be back to her old self.

"You have a long life ahead of you, Valerie. You can do more than you think. You still go running. You still do weights with your good arm and the best you can with your right arm. You're extremely smart. If people judge you based on looks, they need to re-evaluate themselves," Mellie assured her. She didn't say anything for a moment, but Valerie knew she was deep in thought. It always took her a minute to pull herself together before she talked about the rape. If word ever got to the media, she would never be able to talk to them about it.

"I tried to commit suicide twenty years ago," Mellie said quietly, looking her in the eyes.

"Why?" Valerie whispered, not expecting to hear this from Mellie. She felt the tension in the air. She was someone to look up to, to strive to be, a successful woman. Why would she give that life up?

"I was raped by my father in law and didn't know if my son was his or Fitz's. I didn't tell anyone what happened. Fitz was out of town one weekend and I saw my opportunity. I got ahold of some oxycodone and took the entire bottle. I was done. I was tired of living in fear. Lieutenant Governor Nichols saved me. He sat with me all night, made sure I didn't die. He's the only person that knew for fifteen years. I resented him for the longest time for saving me," Mellie explained, amazed that she told this young woman about her suicide attempt when only a few other people on earth knew of it.

"But you have much more to live for than you think. You can go do anything you want. You can still go to college. Maybe start at a community college on a scholarship. Then transfer. Or go find a job. A good employer will get past looks. You have your dad to live for. You know how he devastated he would be without you? He wouldn't know what to do. You've become a good friend of mine, in all honesty. I would be upset if you weren't here. You have a purpose here, Valerie. Even if you don't know it yet. You are here for a reason, and you are loved," she said.

Valerie nodded as tears came to her eyes, and hugged Mellie tight. Mellie held her close and rubbed her back, reminding her how much she loves her. Valerie knew in that moment that God had sent Mellie to them for a reason, that it wasn't just coincidence.

God knew she needed a mother.

* * *

Jake and Mellie sat in the SUV down the street from his house, needing a moment alone. Will and Francis stood outside, leaning on the hood, giving them their space. Jake sat in the driver's seat and Mellie sat in the passenger seat, both drinking a glass of wine.

"So what did she say earlier?" Jake asked, wondering what Valerie wanted to talk to Mellie about. Mellie closed her eyes and sighed, unsure of how to tell Jake that his daughter is suicidal. How do you tell a parent that their child wants to kill themselves?

"She just talked about the accident, really," Mellie said softly.

"That's it?" He asked, still confused. Earlier she made it seem like Valerie was way more upset than that.

"She doesn't understand why it happened. No one does and we might never know. She feels like she has no self-worth because of how it has made her look. She's lost all her friends, she thinks no one will hire her. She wants to be able to go to target practice and finally shoot that rifle, but she's too afraid. I offered to go with her-," Mellie explained, finishing her wine, unable to finish her sentence. She had to get the truth off her chest.

" _She's suicidal, Jake_. She can't pull the trigger on a rifle to shoot a target, but said she would have no problem holding a pistol to her head and pulling the trigger," she said, visibly upset, a tear streaming down her face. She saw the shock on Jake's face, the tears in his eyes. He had done nothing but try to help, and now she was ready to die. He knew the feeling. The PTSD almost got him, too.

"I didn't know what to say. I told her about the rape and that she had so much to live for, even if she didn't know it yet," she said, wiping her eyes. "She said you baby her too much, trying to do too much for her. I explained that that was just the natural fatherly instinct in you to protect her. She probably won't understand until she has kids of her own."

Jake felt like a terrible dad. He had missed the signs, and had overstepped his boundaries.

"Where do I even begin?" He asked. "Do I take her to a doctor, or get her to talk to me? Do I take her to the shooting range and not let her leave until she shoots another rifle?" He sighed angrily. He hated not knowing what to do.

"Maybe try talking to her about it, then if she won't say much, trying a counselor," Mellie said. "Our Secret Service counselor is great, and if she didn't want to talk with her, she could find a great veteran counselor quickly. I have the resources, Jake; we just have to get her to agree to accept them."

He nodded as he looked into her eyes, and she saw the fear. The fear only a parent could know, the fear of having to bury your child when your child is supposed to bury you. Her heart broke for him, but she wouldn't let it show.

She knew she had to help them both, and fast.

* * *

Valerie sat in her bathroom with the door shut and locked at 5 pm on a Thursday afternoon two weeks after her conversation with Mellie. She had since talked with a veteran counselor and was slowly preparing to go back to the shooting range. She was sitting in the cold bathtub, her knees against her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs as she rocked back and forth. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore, and her shoulder hurt deep into the bones. She had re-lived the explosion all over again, and couldn't get that image, sound, or feeling out of her head. She didn't know how long she had been in here, but her guess was close to thirty minutes. It felt like hours had passed.

She heard Jake coming down the hall, his footsteps heavy against the floor. He checked for her in her room first, then came to the bathroom door.

"Val, you in there?" He asked, and part of her hated he found her. She wanted to be left alone. But another part of her wondered if he could comfort her.

" _Go away_ ," she sobbed.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked, now pressed against the door. The fear was back.

"Just don't worry about it. Go away, please," she cried, tears streaming down her reddened face.

"Val, you're crying in the bathroom with the door locked," he said as he tried the door handle. "Please tell me what got you upset."

"It's stupid," she cried, still afraid. It wasn't stupid, but she was afraid someone else might think it was.

"No, it's not," he argued, wondering what got her upset. He couldn't even take a chance of her trying to commit suicide. "What happened?"

"I heard firecrackers and got scared. I remembered the explosion and came in here," she sobbed, and he knew he needed to get in there. His child was dealing with PTSD, something he didn't plan on happening for a while, expecting her to have had finished training.

"Please let me in. It's easier than me getting my tools and taking this door off the hinges," he laughed softly.

"Don't laugh at me," she mumbled quietly, and got out of the tub to let him in.

"I won't, I promise," he said, waiting patiently at the door for her. She unlocked it and opened it for him, then shut it quickly behind him. She got back in the tub and he sat on the edge of it, facing her. He offered his hand and she quickly took it, feeling safer with him there.

"I understand where you're at right now," he said softly. "I still have nightmares about when my plane crashed. I still get a little nervous around fire, and I occasionally jump when I hear a gunshot. It reminds me of the missiles. PTSD is something that never leaves you. Therapy will help, but only to an extent. It helps you cope."

"I'm afraid of guns. Any of them. Even pistols. I'm afraid they'll all jam and implode on me," she sighed, embarrassed to tell him. "But I still wish I was back at training. But all those gunshots every day..."

"I know, baby. Being afraid of guns right now is understandable. It will take time to overcome this fear. I was terrified the next time I flew after my crash. But I will be here with you through it," he assured her as he sat in the floor to get on her level. He smiled and squeezed her hand, and she got out of the bathtub and climbed into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck as her tears soaked into his cotton T-shirt.

He was her safe place.

She never thought she would have to rely on someone else for comfort or safety. Growing up not seeing her father much due to his being away in the military and her being at boarding school, with mostly her grandmother raising her, she wasn't used to being with him. She never saw much of him when he was discharged after the crash, either. He's always said he wanted to be back to his normal self and be able to give her the world before he tried to come back into her life full time, and she believed it.

They had gotten close within the past three years, yet a year and a half of that, Valerie was gone for training. He hated missing out on so much of her life, but they both knew he was doing the best he could. She wasn't mad at him for any of it.

She was thankful for him right now. He was the only one that understood.


	24. Next To Me

**A/N:** Jake and Mellie get to go on a weekend trip, just the two of them, before the election. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

It was mid-October, the last weekend before Jake's last week of chemotherapy. Mellie had told him the day before to pack a bag and be ready to go by nine a.m. the next morning, and he didn't hesitate to follow orders. He knew his questions would go unanswered, and whatever she had planned was sure to be nothing less than fantastic.

"Where are we going?" He asked, tiredly picking up his suitcase and taking it to her car when she arrived at nine a.m. He put it in the trunk and she followed him back into his house with a smile on her face.

"You'll see when we get there, ok? Do you have all your medicine?" She asked, going through her mental checklist.

"Yes, and I can't even have a hint?" He pleaded, knowing she was enjoying this.

"No hints. Masks?"

He pulled three out of his jacket pocket and put them back in, and she smiled.

"We're good to go," she said.

"Ok. Let me go say bye to Val and we can go," he said, going back to her bedroom and telling his daughter goodbye. He promised they would be back soon, and if she needed anything to call him. Anything urgent, call one of Mellie's security agents, anything medically urgent, call 911. She told him to quit worrying and have a good time. He couldn't help but smile as he hugged her and left.

"Is Teddy going?" He asked Mellie as he came back through the hallway, and she led him out the front door, let him lock it, and to her car.

"My mom came up for the weekend to be with him and Kare. She'll be here some of next week too. Valerie can go over if she wants. And call her if she needs something. I'll let both of them know," she said, getting in the driver's seat and turning the car on.

"That's good that she's getting to see her grandkids," he said. "So seriously no hints?"

"No hints, Ballard. It won't take us long to get there," she said, heading to the airport. She could tell he was exhausted yet nervous as she parked in the garage. Will, Francis, Tim and Brian pulled up in the SUV beside them, dressed in street clothes. They got out and got their bags out while Will went inside and secured their arrangements.

"I got a private plane, so don't worry. Will is securing our flight and they'll bring a golf cart around to take us to the plane. I am glad you brought your sunglasses and hat," she said. "You'll appreciate it where we're going."

"A private plane? Mels, you didn't have to spend that money just because of me. I know I'm sick-"

"It was the only way you could get cleared to fly right now. You don't need to worry about me and my money. We will have a good time, just the two of us," she said, seeing Will come back around on a golf cart driven by an airport attendant.

"And them," he said, knowing they had to come, getting out with her and getting their bags out of the trunk.

"You know they have to come with," she reminded him. Sometimes she wished she could be without them, but she knew it was best for everyone that they be with her at all hours.

"I know, I just feel like they watch everything we do. It's kinda creepy," he said.

"Trust me, they aren't watching as closely as you think. They're watching more of the surroundings," she said as they got on the golf cart and went to their plane.

"Well how much do they actually keep track of?" He asked, putting his sunglasses on.

"What do you mean?"

"Do they keep track of how many hours you're out, what you eat, wear, how often you shower or have sex? How far do their limitations go?" He asked, now joking.

"Are you implying something, Mr. Ballard?" She teased him, rubbing his arm. He couldn't help but blush and smile.

"We'll just see what happens," he said, his teeth shining brightly in the sun.

They pulled up at the plane and the guys got on first, checking everything out before letting Mellie and Jake on.

"Have a good flight," the flight attendant told them as she shut the door behind them. Jake looked around the private plane and saw there were twelve seats in pairs and facing each other, and a cream-colored leather couch between four of the seats. He noticed the color changing light strip around the ceiling and sat down beside Mellie, already a little tired.

"How long does it take to get there?" He asked, holding her hand.

"About three hours, but you aren't getting any more hints than that," she smiled, squeezing his hand. "You can take a nap if you want. I have a feeling you won't want to sleep once we get there."

"You're killing me here," he laughed. "Is it hot or cold?"

"You may or may not want ditch the beanie for a ball cap when we get there. Your call," she teased. "But you better let me wash it when we get home."

"Deal," he said as the captain approached them to tell them they were about the take off. He went back into the cockpit and Jake leaned back in his seat, immediately falling asleep.

Three hours later, Mellie couldn't help but smile when Jake was still asleep on her shoulder as they prepared to land. She didn't want to wake him, but wanted to see his face when he saw where they were. She rubbed his arm gently and he opened his eyes, wondering how long he had been asleep.

"We're here," she said happily, and he leaned over to look out the window and all he saw was beaches along the city skyline. He looked at Mellie, still unsure of where they were, and the pilot came on the speakers at just the right time.

"Welcome to Miami on this sunny afternoon. It is a warm eighty degrees out and sunny skies all week. Please fasten your seat belts as we prepare to land," the pilot said over the loudspeakers and Jake couldn't believe it.

"Miami? How did you plan all this?" He asked excitedly.

"It's just a little getaway is all," she shrugged. "Wasn't much trouble to put together."

"You never cease to amaze," he laughed as they landed. "So what's first on the agenda?"

"Checking in at the resort," she said. "We can't get off on the runway, I apologize. I tried to make it happen. No one knew we were taking this trip, so hopefully there will be no reporters."

"It'll be ok, Mels, don't sweat it," he told her, unbuckling his seatbelt as they parked. He stood up and got their carry-ons out of the overhead bins and set them down, putting on his mask before they got out. He carried both of their bags and Mellie almost couldn't fight her tears, hating seeing him sick. She stayed behind him the whole time they went through security and to baggage, and Will stayed behind her, making sure they were both safe. She constantly kept looking for cameras everywhere, but thankfully found none as they grabbed their bags and caught a cab to their beachfront resort.

* * *

Jake opened the door to their suite at the resort and was amazed as he stepped inside with Mellie. The first thing he noticed was the lounge area by the door, with two couches, a TV, and a minibar. He kept walking and a small dividing small and open entrance separated the lounge and the bedroom, which had a king-sized memory foam bed. He noticed the dim lighting accenting the gold wallpaper and the TV on the wall.

"Let's go look at the hot tub," Mellie said excitedly, setting her bag down on the bed and running to the glass sliding doors that led to the patio. Jake followed her and stepped out onto the wooden deck overlooking the beach. He saw her sitting on the edge of the hot tub, sticking her feet in and he couldn't help but smile.

"This view is incredible," he said. "And this hot tub, too."

"We can eat breakfast on the beach," she said excitedly. "This is so nice to just...get away and be able to breathe for a second," she sighed.

"Tell me about it," he said. "Where are the guys staying?"

"In the suite next door. While we're at the resort, they'll take shifts of two. Same at night. When we go out, they'll all go out. Tim and Francis are out getting the rental cars right now," she said. "You want to go down to the beach? We have a few hours before dinner," she said.

"Sure," he said. She changed in the bathroom and put her hair up while he put on his swimming trunks and blue and white trucker hat. He wrapped up where his picc line was and wrapped it again in plastic wrap, taping off the edges. He put a mask on to go through the resort and put on his sunglasses and flip flops, ready to chill. Mellie came out of the bathroom in her dark pink bikini with her hair pulled up and sunglasses on with two towels in her hand. She packed a small tote bag with her phone, sunscreen, and water to take with them.

"You ready?" She asked, and he smiled, taking his phone and following her to the suite next door. They knocked on the door and Will let them in. He and Brian were already changed into their beach clothes, and still had their badges and guns on underneath. Will radioed to the others they were going down to the beach, and Mellie and Jake walked hand in hand to a spot about twenty feet from the water's edge. He laid out their towels and took his mask off, putting it in his pocket. She turned her head to the side and admired the wonderful man lying next to her and every feature about him through her darkened sunglasses. She loved his smile, his pearly white teeth; his toned body, despite its sickness; his big heart and how much he cared about everyone else before himself; his happy personality, and his laughter. He was one of those people you loved to be around no matter what. He must have caught her looking, lifting his sunglasses up to look at her.

"You checking me out?" He teased with his signature smile.

"Maybe. Maybe not," she giggled. "I'm just enjoying _this_."

"We haven't been out here five minutes, and you already know you'll enjoy it? Would you enjoy it if I buried you in the sand or beat you in a swimming contest?" He joked, turning on his side to face her.

"I would still enjoy it," she smiled. "As long as I get to be with you, I'll enjoy it."

"Now I'll be worried about whether I'm meeting your enjoyment expectations, thanks," he said seriously. "I'm just messing, Mels. I'm happy wherever we are together. No matter if it's fancy charity dinners or chemo treatments or hanging out at your house."

Mellie smiled and faced him also, glad he was still in good spirits about his illness. "When's your next scan?"

"Two weeks from Monday. Two whole weeks without treatments," he sighed happily. "I still have to take my medicine and not expose myself to many people, but still. Now I can finally rest. Hopefully it will be energizing. I can actually hang out with Val more. But if the tumor hasn't shrunk, they're going to remove it ASAP. Then we'll figure it out."

"Sounds good," she smiled. "You worry too much. You expect the worst in everything."

"I just plan for it, and it's a nice surprise when things go as planned and not for the worst," he grinned. "You always have to be prepared."

"You are plenty prepared," she said happily, kissing him softly. He loved the feeling of her lips on his, the soft touch of her hands against his bare skin.

She pulled away and laid back with a smile, enjoying basking in the sun. An hour into their beach time, Will informed her that her mom called him so Teddy could talk to her. She took the phone without hesitation and listened to what her son had to say, thankful he wanted to share. He told her all about his new books and playing trains and baking cookies with Grandma. Jake watched as the genuine smile on her face said it all. She loved Teddy with her whole heart, despite what everyone else said about her. A few minutes later she finished talking to Teddy and her mom and handed the phone back to Will, then stood up and looked at Jake.

"Well, you gonna come get in the water or not?" She teased, running to the water. Jake quickly followed and reached into the water, splashing her before she could get him. She squealed happily and splashed him back, starting a war for the next few minutes. He surrendered and put his arms around her, giving her a quick kiss. She felt his heart beating against his chest and she smiled, her heart full of joy because of him.

* * *

That night after dinner and a walk on the beach, Jake got out of the shower and found the TV still on, but Mellie was no longer in the bed. He saw her phone charging on the nightstand, her jewelry on the dresser, and her clothes in the floor by her suitcase. He smiled and looked out on the patio, where he saw her in the hot tub with her curls pinned up. He took off his towel and put on his swimming trunks, then made sure his arm was still wrapped well. He walked out onto the patio, shutting the glass door behind him, and stepped into the hot tub with her.

"Isn't this a nice surprise," he grinned. "Whatcha drinking?" He asked, nodding to the purple cup in her hand.

"Just water tonight," she said. "I'm saving the drinking for tomorrow."

He looked around and back at her, admiring her from the chest up, since the rest of her body was immersed in the bubbling water. "So where are they?"

"Why are you always keeping tabs on them all of a sudden?" She asked.

"I don't know. I guess it's because we haven't gotten to be alone and away from home like this, so I haven't really noticed them on watch a lot before."

"Fair enough. Tim is on the other side of the building, Brian is watching the beach, and Francis is watching from his room while Will sleeps. Anything else?"

"I'm good," he laughed. "I had a really good time today, Mels," he said, putting his arm around her.

"So did I. I didn't realize it had been so long since either of us had gotten away," she admitted.

"We need to do this more often," he said quietly, his hazel eyes staring into hers. She drew in a breath, looking at his lips, then back to his eyes before kissing him. He gently bit her lip and her tongue met his as she sat down in his lap and faced him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her chest was pressed against his, they could feel the other one's breathing, their heartbeats each second. They kissed for a few minutes, and Jake decided it was best to leave it at that for the night. They both got out twenty minutes later, then cuddled up in bed and fell asleep.

* * *

Jake woke up the next morning to find Mellie already up and dressed sitting on the patio overlooking the beach. He smiled and walked out to her, kissing the top of her head, her damp curls shining in the sunrise.

"Good morning," he said softly, hugging her. She hugged him tightly and took in his scent, a mix of his cologne and a faint smoky smell that never came out of his clothes that he wore to calls.

"How are you this morning?" She asked, and he sat down beside her.

"Good. I feel...rested for once. What about you?"

"Good. Still just taking this all in, glad I'm here with you," she smiled. "Anything you want to do today?"

"Maybe just check out the city. I'm fine with just staying here all day," he admitted. He could tell by the look on her face that something was bothering her. Something serious, nothing stupid.

"You ok, Mels?"

"I'm fine. I'm gonna go take a walk," she said, getting up and knocking on Will and Francis's room door.

Jake didn't want to push it, but he wasn't going to let this go.

* * *

After snorkeling early that morning and finishing it off sunbathing, Jake and Mellie decided to clean up with a quick shower together. Jake put on his best khaki shorts and a pink dress shirt, rolling up the sleeves as he sat on the bed and watched Mellie pick out something to wear. She pulled out a pair of white shorts and a lavender and white striped tank top and quickly put them on over her white lingerie. She put her diamond earrings in and turning around to find him still watching her.

"Take a picture," she said, and he smiled.

"It'll last longer, I know. Maybe I should."

"What were you thinking about, mister?" She playfully asked, sitting on his lap and putting her arm around his shoulder.

"The fact that I have the best girlfriend in the world and the plus side is she's really hot and the nicest person anyone could ever meet," he said proudly, kissing her cheek.

"You're pretty great yourself," she smiled with a warm heart, kissing him gently on the lips. He held on to her waist, kissing her for a few minutes before she pulled away with a smile.

"I could stay here all day, but I know the guys are waiting to go eat lunch."

"We could skip lunch," he teased, "and stay here a little while longer."

"We can spend all afternoon here," she promised. "But I'm ready to eat. Let's go," she said, getting up and pushing him backwards on the bed with a smile, going to the bathroom to brush her hair. He laughed and got up, putting his shoes on, thankful she was his and he was hers.

* * *

As they ate lunch at an upscale restaurant downtown that afternoon, he could tell Mellie's thoughts were still elsewhere, despite their fun earlier. Her mind had been going a million miles an hour since she woke up this morning.

"Mel, you sure everything's ok?" He asked as she stared off into the distance, then looked at her food and back at him.

"No. It's not. My campaign manager called me this morning. My opponent is playing dirty, trying to bring up stuff from fifteen years ago that isn't true. I'm down in the polls now, 40% to 51% approval ratings. There's too many swing states that could go either way. Three weeks until the election, I won't bounce back now. I'm not concerned anymore. I ran a clean race, unlike Fitz, and that's all I can say," she sighed. "I'll campaign a few more times when we get back, but I've accepted that I won't win."

"That means a lot that you ran clean," he said. "It might not mean much in the big world of politics, but to the few other true politicians, the real ones wanting to make a change the right way, it will mean a lot. I know how badly you wanted this, and deserve this. The American people know you for you and will love or hate you the same, no matter what happens. I will still love you and respect you as a lawyer and politician. Karen and Teddy will still love you and be glad you are their mother. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't give up yet, ok?" He said, taking her hand into his and holding it gently. She nodded quietly, knowing he was right. She was still a lawyer, still a politician, still a mother no matter what happened, and for that she was thankful. These things had made her entire life what it is, but also wonderful.

"But you have to promise me you won't worry about it any more until we get home, ok?" He asked, and she nodded with a smile, squeezing his hand. "We still have a whole day of fun left."

"Deal," she smiled, excited for their time left in Miami. She had enjoyed herself more than expected, and was glad Jake could escape his daily routine too.

She just hated to go back. She wished they could live in their little bubble forever.


	25. To Take On The World

**A/N:** The last episode I saw was the in the beginning of season 5, so I know things aren't very accurate with how the election went down. That being said, this is just a fanfiction. I appreciate all of my readers and your reviews. Please let me know what you think!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Jake, Valerie, Karen, and Teddy sat with Mellie at her campaign headquarters in D.C. on the second Tuesday in November, the day that either made the rest of her career or could bring it to standstill. It was now 6 p.m., and state voting totals were starting to come in more consistently. She was in the lead with twenty more electoral votes than her competitor, but she wasn't very hopeful. They were all sitting around a wall with four TVs on it, and extra Secret Service at every door and window in the room. She was accustomed to it, and was glad Will and Francis could just sit with her and not worry about working so much. She sat between Jake and Karen on a red leather couch, watching poll numbers pour in by the second. Her advisors and campaign managers kept giving her updates on the numbers, but she didn't even listen. She wasn't worried any more.

She was wearing a new signature red dress, black heels, and a freshly shined pearl necklace. Jake was in his best dark gray suit and red tie, wishing he could calm her nerves. Karen and Valerie were wearing dresses they had gotten a week before when they went shopping together, and Teddy was dressed in khakis, a blue dress shirt, and a navy-blue sweater vest.

Two more hours passed, and her and her opponent only had a difference of 10 electoral votes and a million popular votes between them. She was still in the lead for the time being, and for that Jake was grateful. He wanted to see her make it to the White House and be President, because he knew she would be great. He could tell she was just ready to get it over with at this point. He knew she didn't want to lose and see all her work have gone to waste, but also would be slightly relieved and disappointed if she did lose.

"Mrs. Richardson, here's the latest from Florida," one of her campaign workers said, handing her a sheet of paper, and Mellie didn't even take it.

"No more poll numbers! I do not want any more numbers shoved in my face, _do you understand?_ I will watch it on TV with the rest of America," she growled, fists clenched and teeth gritted, and the terrified worker quickly went back to her station. Jake gave Will a look from across the room and they stepped into the hall to talk.

"Is this normal? I need to get her a drink. She needs to relax. I-"

"Jake. This is how Mellie deals with pressure. She bites peoples' heads off. And no, there is no alcohol up here in the event she wins the election. She cannot have any alcohol as not to impair her. She is fine," Will said. "Any more questions?"

"No," Jake said meekly, feeling dumb for worrying about Mellie so much. He went and sat back down beside her, quietly watching the rest of the results with her.

Around 10 pm, the race was still neck and neck, and Mellie couldn't take any more of it. She left the room she had been in for the past five hours and walked down the hall to a conference room, two Secret Service agents in tow, one of them being Will. Jake got up and followed, but waited in the hallway.

Mellie went and stood by the window that made up the entire fourth wall of the room, overlooking the city lights. She sighed quietly as she leaned against it, and could feel the agents in the room with her.

"Mrs. Richardson, you need to step away from the window, please," the younger agent said sternly, and she dropped her head in frustration.

"Can't I do _anything?_ " She growled, quietly stomping her foot. "I will move away from this window when I want. The chances of a long-range shooter are slim, and so what if there is? It could happen to anybody. I'm tired of-"

She turned around and saw Will standing there with the now slightly shocked younger agent, Zach. Will's look of concern told her that she needed to calm down, and she quit talking and frowned.

"Mrs. Richardson, Agent Zachary here is new to the detail and was just following protocol. It would be advised that you step back from the window, however," Will explained calmly, and Mellie sighed softly, sitting down in a chair at the conference table.

"What if I lose, Will? This will have been a wasted effort," she explained, laying her hands on the table, admiring her diamond ring she now wore in place of her wedding ring and her silver diamond encrusted watch.

"I don't think it was a wasted effort, ma'am. There are plenty of people out there who agree with your stances on the issues and want to see your changes go into effect. If you get that chance, then that is wonderful. If you don't, you can support the other candidate and go back to being a senator again. We are all proud of you either way, and I know Falcon would be too," Will said softly. "I know Flame is incredibly proud of you. I think he would like to talk to you."

She leaned back in the rolling chair, knowing Will was right. She and Fitz had their differences, but he supported this journey of hers and would've been proud of how far she had come. Her eyes met his and he nodded slightly, and she knew she'd better talk to Jake.

"Bring him in," she said softly, and Will stepped out of the room. He saw Jake leaning against the opposite wall, looking worried.

"She agreed to see you," Will said softly, and Jake stood up straight, buttoning his jacket and following Will back into the room. His eyes met Mellie's and Will saw him relax, and nudged Zach to follow him into the hall. They got into the hall and shut the door, and Zach realized Will knew something he didn't.

"Sir, shouldn't one of us stay with them since there is supposed to be heightened security tonight?" He asked quietly as they stood outside the glass door, able to see them both.

"No. They are fine," Will started walking down the hall, back towards the common area everyone was gathered in. Zach followed, quite confused.

"Sir, shouldn't we stay outside the-"

"Zach, listen," Will said, stopping and turning around to face him. "They are two consenting adults. He would never harm her. I have known them long enough to know she is safe with him. As for something catastrophic happening, we might not be able to protect her any more than he could, maybe not at all. But the chances of that happening are slim to none. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," he said, following Will back down the hall to watch the rest of the election results.

"How are you?" Jake asked, sitting in the chair to the left of Mellie. He gently held out his hand and she set hers in his, squeezing it tightly.

"Ready for this to be over," she said honestly. "I'm done. I don't know why I even bothered doing this now. Maybe I just did it to prove Fitz wrong. Maybe at first I really did want to change things. I don't know now."

"I think," Jake said, "you did it to make a difference. Deep down you care and want to deliver justice to all those who deserve it. You were in this for the right reasons," he assured her. "I know you, Mellie. I know you care about way more than this nasty, so-called media portrays you to. Just ride this out, and no matter what happens, tomorrow you will still be Mellie. You will still have two beautiful children to go home to and be their mother, and you will still be a smart, great woman who has done more than some could have ever dreamed of doing. So don't be so hard on yourself."

She sighed and nodded, knowing he was right. She would still wake up tomorrow, no matter the outcome, and put on her pants one leg at a time. She would still be the same, just possibly changing job titles.

"You want to go back out there yet?" He asked hesitantly, and she looked at her watch and saw it was almost 10:45 pm.

"Has anything changed?" She asked him, and pulled up the results on his phone.

"You picked up Ohio, but there's only four votes difference between you two in the electoral college. You're still winning, but more states are about to report, so we'll know how the lead is going then," he said, and she was surprised to hear they got Ohio.

"We'll just sit back and enjoy this ride then, won't we?" She said, standing up and taking his hand. He stood up and took off his red campaign cap of hers and set it on the table. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her beautiful pink lips, biting them softly. She held on tightly to his back, safe in his arms as he cherished her. She didn't care if Will and Zach saw them, she knew no one publicly would see. She refused to let herself have sex with him tonight, not here; she wanted it to mean something. His hand moved down her warm thigh, then back up her dress where he gripped her ass and pulled her closer to his body. His hardening crotch was pressed again hers, and she enjoyed it more than not. She kissed him harder, deeper, sadly knowing they needed to get back to the watch room. Will came back down the hall to check on them, and upon seeing them, and he quickly turned around.

"How is she, sir?" Zachary asked.

"She's fine," Will said sternly, taking his position slightly closer to the door. Zachary moved closer, trying to see, and Will scolded him.

"Foxtail is _fine_ , Agent," Will said, almost angrily, and Zachary stood up and looked straight ahead.

"Jake," Mellie said softly between his kisses, "I need to go back."

"Are you sure?" He smiled, kissing her once more.

"Unfortunately," she said. "But either way...you and Val are more than welcome to spend the night with us tonight," she said encouragingly.

"I'll talk to her. I'm feeling pretty good today, we might just have to take you up on that offer," he said, giving her a hug, then following her out the door and back to the watch room.

Around 1:30 am, Mellie knew it was almost all over. Her career in politics was probably finished after the rest of her term as senator. She was ready to face whatever was to come tomorrow. She was at 267 electoral votes, and her opponent was at 265. The next state or two to come in with results would decide it all. All the swing states had already reported, and she hated waiting on the smaller states.

Jake held on to her hand tightly and she kept her free arm around Karen. The newest polls came in every thirty seconds, and she thought the misery would never end. At this point, she still didn't know what she wanted the outcome to be. She was concerned about her future and the future of this country, but also equally concerned about Karen, Teddy, Jake, and Valerie's futures. She needed to be able to take care of them properly. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the crowded couch, taking a deep breath. Over a minute later, she felt Jake squeeze her hand and the room fell dead silent. She didn't sit up and look at the results. She knew she had lost, and accepted it.

"Mels," Jake whispered softly.

"I know," she whispered back. "I'm ok."

She sat up and stared at the TV screen in front of her; her opponent won 273 to 267 and was ahead in the popular vote. She decided to wait on one more state before conceding and addressing her supporters outside.

"It's over," she whispered, feeling relief throughout her entire body. Her campaign team began thanking her for the opportunity and telling her she had run a great race. She thanked them all once more and said goodbye to those that didn't have to stick around to shut down. She had her makeup touched up as she prepared to go onstage and confront the crowds in ten minutes. She planned to call her opponent and concede before then. Two more states came in and went to her opponent, and she called him, telling him he worked hard to get there, she wished nothing but the best for him, and if he needed something to call her. She could finally breathe once that was over, and now all she had to do was address her supporters. She wasn't nervous, but she had forgotten everything she was supposed to say. Her speechwriter handed her a copy to review and Mellie skimmed it nervously.

"I can't do this, I can't remember this," she said, about to panic. She was so relaxed, so calm, but her brain was freaking out.

"Mellie, you will be fine. Remember the introduction and after that you can start reading if necessary. Just look up every few sentences, ok? The speech is already out there at the podium. If you panic, just improvise and do the best you can," Natalie, her speechwriter assured her.

"Ok," Mellie said, almost short of breath as she read over her speech and watched the clock as time slipped away. Teddy ran over to her and she picked him up, glad to have him in her arms.

"We going back to Daddy's house, Mama?" He asked happily, and within earshot of Karen, Valerie, and Jake. Valerie squeezed his hand and he rested his other hand on Karen's shoulder in confirmation.

"Not right now, baby. We'll go visit soon, ok?" She told him, kissing his forehead, trying not to cry. She continued to hold him as she looked over her speech, and she realized how relaxed she was around him. She came up with her plan right then and Karen came over to hug her.

"I'm proud of you, Mom. You're still way cooler than that other guy," she smiled, and Mellie grinned. "You nervous?"

"A little," she said shakily.

"Don't be. We'll go home after this and have a good time," Karen said, hugging her once more. "Good luck."

"Thanks," she said, looking at her watch again. She had five more minutes left, and called out for Natalie. She came over within seconds and Mellie started telling her the new plan.

"Look, two sentences in, at the end of the intro, send Teddy out. Have him run across the stage and I'll hold him for the rest of the speech. It'll look good for us and keep me calm," she laughed softly. "We still need the family image. We will always have him beat on that."

"Yes ma'am," Natalie said, making notes on her clipboard and talking into her earpiece.

"Ted, you wanna help Mama out during her speech?" Mellie asked him, and he just smiled and nodded.

"As soon as Ms. Natalie tells you to run out on stage, run out on stage and over to me, ok? Just me and you talking to these people. They love you too, Ted. You got that?" She explained, and he nodded, giving her a tiny kiss on the cheek. She kissed his forehead and set him down, watching him run over to Jake and hold his hand as they went to wait in the stage wings.

She took a deep breath as she prepared to face the consequences of running clean. Of running as a junior senator. Of running for president at all. Her heart hurt, but her conscience was clean, and that was what mattered to her.


	26. Stay For The Night

**A/N:** Please let me know what you think of it. Hope you enjoy. Thanks!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from ABC's _Scandal_ or anything/anyone else.

* * *

Jake sat in an exam room, waiting on his latest PET scan results from Dr. Daren. It was the beginning of the new year, and he was hoping for a fresh start and good news. After having his biggest tumor removed after the election, he hoped that was the end of cancer for him. He had come alone this time since he wasn't under the influence of any chemo drugs or anesthesia, and he hoped he didn't regret it. Dr. Daren came in less than ten minutes later with his file and the results, wasting no time to explain his findings.

"Good news is, there's no new cancer where the first tumor was. It shrunk tremendously. Bad news is it's spread again. We found five new tumors in your lungs. They're the size of a nickel, except one is about the size of a half dollar, so I'm hoping they'll respond well to chemo. If that's what you decide, that is," Dr. Daren explained.

"What are my other options?" Jake asked quietly, disappointed new tumors had formed.

"Since all the cancer isn't gone, you can try chemo and localized radiation, or you can choose to decline treatment," he said.

"How long do I have with treatment?" Jake asked bluntly.

"It's hard to tell with these new tumors and how fast it's spreading. I would say at least 3-5 more years, if not longer."

"And without it?"

"Maybe a few months, if you're lucky," he said sadly. "I would highly suggest treatments again."

Jake thought about refusing treatment for a second. He didn't want to go through it again, to be down and out like that, so vulnerable. He also knew he couldn't risk leaving Mellie and Valerie behind this soon.

"I'll do it," he said, trying to mentally prepare himself to go back on this grueling journey.

* * *

Mellie, Will, and Francis unlocked Jake's front door later that night, and she was excited for their date night. They were ordering food from their favorite Chinese place downtown and whatever else happened was just a plus. Valerie had even gone over to Mellie's house to hang out with Karen while they watched Teddy. Mellie had thrown herself full force into her work at the Capitol after the election, trying to think of her next move after running for President. She could work her way up through the Senate, or try to get on the next President's staff; she knew either was going to be hard work. But she was currently only focused on that night, and she knew when she walked in something was up. He didn't acknowledge their presence and wasn't in the living room.

"Jake?" Mellie asked, taking the case of beer she brought to the fridge. She saw Will get situated to stand his guard by the front door, Francis at the back door. "You awake?"

"I'm in here," Jake yelled from the bathroom, turning off the hair clippers and looking himself over again in the mirror. He sighed at the sight of his newly shaved head, all his beautiful hair that had grown back now on the floor again. He turned off the bathroom light and walked into the kitchen slowly, knowing she would be surprised and also wanting to know about the results from his doctor visit.

"Hey baby," she said, handing him a cold beer and giving him a hug. "You cut your hair. It's strange compared to having seen it grow back, but I still like it. I just called in our order on the way here. How was your day?"

"Like all the others," he shrugged. "You?"

"Glad to be off this weekend," she laughed as he took a drink of his beer. "How was the doctor earlier? What did he say?"

"There's no new cancer around where the old tumor was," he said quietly.

"That's good news," she said.

"Bad news is I have five new tumors and need chemo again. Explains the shaved head," he sighed with a little smile. "My insurance is maxed out. The VA doesn't pay for all of these test drugs and such. I can pay for it, but I'll need to get back to work soon."

"You know you can't work during treatments. You're too sick and tired and weak. I can help you out, ok?" She said.

"I have to do _something_ , Mellie. I can't keep taking handouts. My disability payments will be up soon unless I can extend them. I'll figure it out tomorrow. Meanwhile, let's just enjoy tonight, ok?" He sighed, really wanting to forget about his cancer spreading for a little while and wanting to spend time with her.

"You want to watch a movie?" She asked, turning on the TV, while he waited on the food to be delivered.

"Sure," he said. "Pick whatever you like."

She browsed his online selections and chose a movie for them, then got up and poured them some fancy red wine she had brought along. Their food came within fifteen minutes, and Jake fixed their plates quickly, surprised she remembered his love for cashew chicken. They sat down together and started the movie, enjoying their food in silence. As soon as they got done eating, he took their plates to the kitchen and came back, putting a blanket over the two of them and his arm around her shoulders. They were physically close, he loved how she felt next to him, but she felt like they were miles apart. He was emotionally unstable right now and she knew he was upset. He had every right to be. He got news that changing his life again, he was getting sucked back in to long days of treatment and sickness.

The movie ended an hour and a half later and Mellie was ready to leave. She knew Jake coped better alone, as did she. He was changing that side of her, however. She helped him clean up and grabbed her phone and purse, ready to go. Will came out of the guest bedroom and waited outside the front door for Mellie to leave. Jake, deep down, didn't want her to go. He was really terrified for the first time in his life. He feared his death, something he had never done this seriously before, even throughout his time in the Navy.

"Mels...can you stay tonight?" He said softly, and she saw the weakness in his eyes. They had turned softer, more vulnerable, especially for him.

"Let me go home and tell Teddy goodnight first, ok? Would you rather us stay here or at my place? You know how it is, I don't want him thinking his only parent won't take care of him-"

"Let's just go there. It'll be easier for everyone," he said, almost sounding annoyed. "Let me just grab a few things and we can go."

"I don't mind coming back here, Jake. Honestly."

"No, I understand, Mellie. Your family comes first. I really do understand. You have to take care of them. I don't mind going there," he said, walking into his bedroom to pack a few things in his leather bag. She followed him, trying to understand where this sudden hostility came from.

"Of course my family comes first, but you're also incredibly important to me, Jake. Where is this sudden...change of heart coming from?" She asked, her heart heavy. Jake threw his medicines and some jeans in his bag and turned around, angrily throwing the white t-shirt in his hand across the room.

" _Because_ _ **I'm dying**_ _, Mellie!_ This cancer is killing me slowly. It is eating away at me, and I don't know what the future holds. This is the scariest thing I've gone through in my entire life. I am so confused right now," he sighed, his face red with anger but his eyes filled with tears of sadness.

"Jake, the doctors _never_ said this was terminal. There's a 60% chance of survival from this. That is an amazing number. I know this is scary, I know you're worried about your future and Valerie, but you are not one to give up this easily. And I will still be right here by your side through the rest of this journey," she explained. "Come here."

She opened her arms and he hugged her tightly, quietly releasing all of his emotions on her shoulders. She comforted him the best she could, knowing this was a totally different side of him to reveal to her. Fifteen minutes later, he followed her out the door to her luxury sedan and watched Will get in the follow car behind them as Francis got in the driver's seat of Mellie's car. They drove to her house and she told Teddy good night. Valerie took the guest room for the night and Karen enjoyed having a friend over. Mellie and Jake left again in her car, and he wondered where they were going when Francis didn't turn to go back to his house. He didn't ask, he just enjoyed the silence. He pulled into an empty parking space in front of the White House fence, looking directly at the Truman Balcony and the fountain on the front lawn. Will was parked a few spaces beside them and got out, going to the fence and leaning against it as he remembered his time in the White House. Francis got out to go speak with Will, and Mellie and Jake got in the front seats. She opened the sun roof and turned the car off, sighing deeply.

"I remember it like it was yesterday," she said quietly. "Moving in there, my life being changed forever. It was surreal living there. Nothing in this entire world will prepare you for life behind those doors," she laughed.

"The late nights, early mornings, endless meetings and decorations and hosting events. Always having to put on your best face no matter what. Having to put yourself last because everything centers around the President. Here's a news flash to America: he's not as important as everyone makes him out to be. There's hundreds of people propping him up and telling him what to say and do and how to do dress and act. _It is all an act_. I also remember moving the last of Fitz's things out of there a few months ago like it was yesterday. That broke my heart. I didn't want to move out when I did, but I had no choice. But that...that was real for me. That was a slap across the face telling me this was real and we were officially leaving the White House," she sighed, hating having to let that go.

"Going back to 'normal life' is the furthest thing from normal. You still have Secret Service. You still have your code name. You still have cameras watching you. Only difference is now you have to cook for yourself and you can roll your windows down in the car," she laughed. "But there were so many good nights there, despite all the bad ones. Those are priceless to me. I would never give those up. Sometimes I actually miss it, you know?"

"The view from here is amazing. I can't even imagine what it looks like from the inside," he said.

"Like paradise. Freedom. Fresh air. Everyone talks about the breathing 'rare air' inside the White House, but when you're inside, all you want to do is escape. You want to be normal. You want to be able to step outside your own house without security. The planes and limos and parties were nice, but none of that compares to time spent with family. Also a rare occurrence to all be available to hang out. But anyway," she said. "I'll be quiet. I didn't come here to talk about the past."

"That's ok," Jake said. "You're one of the few people that has experienced it, that can tell the world about it. I'll listen to anything you tell me about."

"You're too kind, Jake. I wish I could show you around. It's incredible," she said. "Just one last time. One more night."

"One day," he said. "So what do you think my code name would be, if I ever could've had one, that is?"

"Your code name is Flame," she smiled.

"You sure? I feel like it's not very...masculine," he admitted.

"No, I'm serious. You already have one, and it's Flame," she laughed.

"How long have you known about this? Why do I...?"

"Since our third date. Code names are supposed to just be for the President and family, but you're around so much, they decided to go ahead and give you one. Even after Fitz's death, I still get agents for the rest of my life. Karen no longer requires an agent since she is over sixteen, but she can have them if she wanted. I would make it happen. Teddy has never known a life without them," she said.

"So what are all of your code names?" Jake asked curiously.

"Karen is Flight. Teddy is Freedom. I'm Foxtail, and Fitz was Falcon," she said softly. "Every day, you hear them say your code name over the radio and you think nothing of it. You know it's for safety reasons. But when a crisis strikes...it's ten times worse. The feeling. The objectification. I can't explain it. Everything is chaos. They're yelling your name into the radio over and over, updating your physical condition, pushing you around, physically shielding you, protecting you, knowing they might very well lose their lives for _you_. You feel like less of a person and more a physical object of value. But I have no more value than anyone on the street."

Jake finally was understanding what she meant, how life had been for the past eight years for her. It was full of fear and hatred and sadness and happy times.

"When Fitz was shot, when Jerry collapsed on stage, when I found Fitz dead...it was all chaos. The first thing I heard yelled was 'Falcon down!' after the shots stopped. My heart stopped beating for a second. I knew he had to be dead. I came to, realizing my agents had brought me to the ground and were protecting me. They frantically checked me over, got me in a follow car, and said 'Foxtail is secure'. Hearing 'Flash down!' shouted from across the stage at that rally killed me inside. Fitz immediately picked Jerry up and carried him all the way to the car, following the agents as they formed a barrier around us," she explained. "His code name was Flash. Jerry was such a ray of sunshine and a glimpse of hope. We were lucky to be his parents," she whispered, off in her own little world now.

"That you were," Jake said. "Watching all of that unfold from this side of it...it was scary. I mean, I couldn't even imagine what you were going through, how y'all felt. When they said Fitz was awake, it was relieving for everyone. You really held it all together, Mel. No lie."

"I tried," she whispered. "I tried."

They say there in the somber silence for a few minutes, both with their thoughts, and Mellie rolled down the window to talk to Will and Francis.

"Think we could take the long way back?" She smiled, and they took a few steps towards the car.

"Only for you, Mellie. But this is the last time for a while, ok? I don't want anyone getting suspicious," Will said, and she and Jake got out, getting into the backseat of her car.

"Deal," she smiled, shutting the back passenger door as Francis got in the driver's seat and Will got in his car. He put it in reverse and led the way through the city back to Jake's house.

He parked behind Jake's car in his driveway and he unlocked the door, letting them both in. Will locked it back behind them and got comfortable in the living room, still close enough to Jake's bedroom in case anything happened. Jake shut the door after Mellie came in and he took everything off except his boxers, ready for bed. Mellie took off her jeans and Jake handed her one of his Navy t-shirts, and she couldn't help but smile. She took off her shirt and bra and put his soft gray shirt on, hugging him tightly. The shirt reminded her of all the times she wore Fitz's Navy shirts, but Jake's was ten times better. She was free with him, and she was truly loved. As her thoughts drifted to the night she killed Fitz, she quickly pushed them to the back of her mind and enjoyed the moment.

"You look really good in it, you know," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"It's very comfortable," she smiled.

"What do you say we go on to bed?" He asked, and she nodded softly. He stepped into his bathroom and brushed his teeth while she gently brushed her hair and put it up into a ponytail. He came out a few seconds later and found her taking her makeup off with a wipe she had in her purse.

"You have everything in there, don't you?" He teased with a smile.

"Maybe," she smiled back.

"Your toothbrush is on the counter. I bought it a few weeks ago, wondering when you would get to spend the night. I understand the circumstances, but I figured it would be good to have when it did happen," he told her. She felt her cheeks getting warmer and knew she was blushing. Even the smallest gestures from him made her heart melt.

"Thank you," she said, going into the bathroom. She opened her pink toothbrush on the counter and threw the package away, then brushed her teeth. She looked around, taking in his bathroom. She was surprised at how clean he kept it; she didn't expect a man living alone to have a house this tidy. His full tub and shower were stocked with two kinds of shampoos and body washes, and there was even a rather manly smelling lotion on his counter. She smiled and finished brushing her teeth, then turning off his bathroom light and going back into his bedroom. She saw him already in the bed with the lights out and a soft bedside lamp on, waiting for her. She got in the bed beside him and he pulled the comforter over them, keeping his arm around her.

"Thank you for spending the night," he whispered. "You just...you put me at such ease," he confessed.

"I'm better when I'm with you, too," she said, resting her head on his shoulder and her hand on his toned chest. She closed her tired eyes and fell asleep within minutes, her soft breathing slowing down. Jake closed his eyes, feeling safe with her by him, being this close to him, and he sighed deeply.

"I love you," he whispered, glad they were this close. Glad he had a friend. Glad he was still alive. She gave him hope he would make it through this battle with cancer.

He couldn't help but smile as he turned off his lamp, thanking God for everything He had blessed him with.


End file.
